1 Disclaimer: I don't own the characters Mark and Steve Sloan, Jesse and
Dane Travis and Amanda Bentley. They belong to CBS and Viacom. This story
is just for enjoying it and not making any money with it.
I added the character of Jill Hastings. There is another story which introduces her to the show, but I have some problems with it. Hope you'll understand this, though.
My (British) English is still not perfect at all cause it's not my native language. So if there are some word order, grammatical or vocabulary problems, please excuse them, I'm working on it! ;-)
Can we start finally?! Yup, think so... (
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4
5 Dead and Alive
Missed Lunch
5.1.1.1 Main building of the LA Times
"Miss Hastings, here's a man who wants to talk to you. He says it is very important.", came out of the loudspeaker on Jill's desk. The young jounalist sighed angrily. She had worked the whole night before and now it was 11.15 a.m., almost noon She was hungry, tired and didn't feel like listening to anybody who had been abducted by aliens or information about Mick Jagger's relationship to his dog.
So she answered:"Dorrie, do you know how many blockheads come into my office every day and tell me their stories are important?" At this moment a grey haired man around the middle 50's rushed into her office, Jill's secretary behind him:"I'm sorry Ma'am, I couldn't hold him up!" When Jill saw the begging look in the man's eyes, she sighed again and said to her secretary:"OK, Connie, I'll give him a few minutes. Could you please phone my uncle and tell him, I could be late. He doesn't have to wait for me with lunch."
Then the door was closed and Jill told the man to have a seat. He began:"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I don't know what I had done when...."
Then he realized Jill's evil grin and stopped. "Anything wrong?"
"No", she said, still grinning,"I'm just tired, hungry and up to kill anybody who is getting on my nervs.Go on!"
He smiled cautiously."I'm sorry, Madam, I was just happy to...uuuuhh....but if you want me to go..."
"I don't want you to go", she interrupted him."Just listen to me. I'm afraid if I'm a little impolite, but as I said I'm really tired. So here are the rules for our small conversation. At first: Don't begin every sentence with "I'm sorry", this is no confession. Second part: Don't call me "Madam", I'm not as old as you.And the third: Tell me finally who you are, what you're doing here and what the hell do you want from me?"
The man smiled at her, but in another way than before, his insecure way was gone."I like people like you", he said. "OK, I'll make it short. My name is not important, anyway not at the moment. I'm a CIA agent and I need your help or better to say: The CIA needs your help."
„I see, what can I do for you?", Jill felt too overwhelmed to make some mean remarks.
He took a deep breath then he said:"You see...in fact ...I'm dead."
5.1.1.1.1 At the same time at BBQ Bob's
"Jill's secretary has just called and said, Jill would be late. We don't need to wait for her with lunch.", told Mark Steve and Jesse when he came into the restaurant and sat down behind the counter next to Jesse and towards Steve who was standing there and serving the guests. Steve balanced the last two plates with rips to the right places and then came back to their place where Mark and Jesse talked already.
"Probably one of Jill's blockheads came in the last second because he had some information about Heather Locklear and whose cat.", said Jesse who was drumming with his fingers on the counter. The three men chuckled. Mark watched his young friend. It was good to see him smile.
About one week ago Jesse got a call at the Community General. Mark was just standing beside him and could see the colour faiding from his friend's face with every word that came from the other site of the phone.After the call Mark had asked Jesse what had happened. But Jesse didn't answer, he seemed to be stiffed.
Mark had needed almost two hours until Jesse -still shocked, trembling and under tears- had told him the story: Jesse's father had been shot somewhere in Memphis. The doctor's tried to save his life, but without success. He was gone. Because he was killed in a CIA operation, the corp couldn't released for some other reasons Jesse had forget and he wasn't interested in. After that day Jesse hadn't spoken much and Mark knew that his father's dead burdened him more than he wanted to admitt.
"Ey, Mister, where is my beer?!" Mark was torn out of his thoughts.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!", Steve shouted ,"I've also only two hands!" Then he paused for a moment and looked at Jesse."Instead to sit there and grin you could help me", he said reproachfully, "This is your restaurant, too!"
"Sorry", Jesse said and stood up quickly ,"but I'm also a doctor and my shift begins in thirty minutes." With these words he disappeared.
Mark realised his son's searching look and knew this situation could be absolutly tricky for him. "Dad, what about you?"
"Gotta go, son. To the hospital, Amanda is waiting for me. Bye!"
"Didn't you want to eat something?", Steve didn't ask as a son, but as a leutenant and Mark knew his excuse was really cheap. "Perhaps later. Hold on, you're doing this great", and then Mark was escaped. Steve sighned hard. But now he had to care for his guests.
5.1.1.1.2 Back at the LA Times
Meanwhile Jill starred at the man in front of her:"What does that mean,'you are dead'? Are you a ghost?"
The man swallowed two times then he said:"You see, I've worked a long time in Europe for the CIA, an undercover job in a smuggler ring that was also connected to the Mafia and as we suppose to some terrorists. They smuggled weapons from Russia through Europe to the south of the USA. We had almost catched them at a port in Florida, but they had more informations than we had guessed.
They wanted to revenge and engaged someone from their gang, a Benjamin Blablabla, who should try to kill me, but I was lucky, it didn't work. However, the whole operation was in danger and my boss had the idea to let me die. Nobody but the criminals should be reported about my death.We let a doctor write a false death certificate and everything was perfect. The information about my alleged death was top secret,but anyway it became official. That was the short version of the story."
"Sounds adventurous" said Jill thoughtfully and when she saw him giving her an indignant look, she added:"Don't get me wrong, I believe you. It's just...I don't see how I could help you to win back your life. I'm from the press and not..."
The stranger took a deep breath again and said:"I'm semi-retired and some of my 'actions' ain't covered by the CIA. And in fact you are supposed to help me to remain dead. Now that every one in the USA thinks I am dead, someone could check that out and probably learn that I've never died. I haven't ended up working on this case and it's easier when..."
"Ok, shut up, I can guess what you're wanting to say.....OK!", she sighned another time."I'm gonna help you! But if I'm to help you I'll need your name and your dates. Give me your passport!"
He gave her a passport. She read interested, then she let it sink, looked severely at him and spoke very slowly:"OK, listen to me. I can help you, but if I should do it, you have to trust me! I really thought the CIA could make passports which not look like what they are. Cheap copys."
He smiled sarcastically:"You're a witch!" he reached for another passport in his jacket and gave it the woman. "I'm not a witch, I'm smart", she took the passport. It seemed to be true. She looked over it, once,twice. That couldn't be true. It was worse, it could! Jill was shocked. Why hadn't she realized it earlier? Sure, Mark had told her the story and she was really sorry, but there had been so much work in the last few days and...."Dane", she said,"we have to talk."
"But I swear everything is true. My true name, my true dates..."
"Your true kid", she continued.
A Lot To Explain
"Where are we going to?", Dane asked when they had left the building of the L.A.Times and crossed the parking lot.
"To my car", was the short answer.
"OK, and then?"
"We're gonna drive to the Community General!"
He stopped apruptly."No way! I mean...you can't!"
"Oh, yes, I can and if you want me to help you, should you come with me."
"But...I'm dead, have you forgotten that?", he was moaning.
"Yes you're dead and you'll be dead. Or do you think Jesse has any connection to the Mafia? Do you want to stay there till you are really dead or will you get into my car?"
He came after her without any response.
After they had been driving for about five minutes he spoke at first:"This is not the way to the hospital."
"I know, I just wanted to buy some HotDogs because when I wanted to have lunch somebody came into my office and got on my nervs until about 10 minutes ago and now I'm a little hungry." The car stopped.
He smiled nervously and watched her when she got out of the car and went to buy some junk food. If she hadn't told Dane that she was Mark Sloan's neice he hadn't recognized it. Sure, she was tall like her cousin Steve, but that was the only thing they had in common. Long dark brown hair, brown eyes and a small babynose. Slim, not very sweet, but not ugly. She was young, perhaps as old as Jesse, maybe younger though she was about 3 inches taller than him. Dane was chuckeling when the door was opened.
While driving the car through the traffic Jill ate her HotDogs and Dane was looking out of the window and realized the first time how pale Los Angeles seemed to be in the California sunlight. It was not very warm, not as warm as usual at the end of October, but Dane noticed that she was wearing thin clothes."You aren't from here, are you?", he asked.
"Yes and no, I was born here in L.A., but when I was ten years old, we moved to Europe, I grew up there. My father worked as a publicist and my mother for the government."
"I knew Mark has two kids, Steve and a daughter, but.....", he made a break, didn't know how to say it without sounding impolitely.
"I don't look very similar to them because I'm the daughter of Kathrine's sister,... Kathrine was the Mark's wife's, my aunt's name", she answered as if she could read Dane's thoughts.
Then there was silence.After a few minutes Jill began a sentence carefully:"If you would be honest with yourself....if we hadn't met...had you reported your son...that you're still alive?"
She watched his reaction from the site, he looked forwards like frozen, he swallowed and seemed to feel uncomfortably."I don't know", he said, and although that was not the whole truth she seemed to be satisfied.
When they drove into the parking lot Dane said:"May I ask you something?"
She turned off the engine:"Of course."
"Would...would you forgive your father."
She looked straight into his face:"My father died three years ago and I can't recommend his way." With these words she left the car and Dane followed her.
5.1.1.1.3 Community General Hospital
Jesse was standing at the reception of the ER. He had realized the man who was coming over to him from the elevator only in the corner of his eyes. He was concentrated on his charts while talking to a nurse. Then he turned to go, when he saw his father standing a few meters away.
Jesse looked at Dane as if he had seen a ghost."Hi", Dane wasn't sure what to say.
"Oh god", Jesse starred at him."Oh god!" A few seconds passed without happening anything.
"I'm not dead", Dane didn't like the situation,"it was a.... missunderstanding."
"I see...", Jesse had recovered slowly. 'There must be anything else',he thought,'he wouldn't look so guilty, if not; I know him.' He became really angry about his father and didn't even know, why.
"I wanted to call you, but...the work...you know." There it was! The word Jesse hated more on his father than anything else. The word which was the reason, the excuse for any mistake his father had ever made.
"Oh, yes , I know!", Jesse answered angrily. He didn't see any reason for hiding this feeling anymore.
"Son, please, let me explain...."
Jesse gave his father a contemptuous look:"Don't you think you're a little late? Oh, no, I remember, it's just me. Everything OK! Have to go rounds, bye." Then he turned around and went away.
Dane didn't run after him."Have had success?", Jill was standing behind him with two cups of cafe.
"Not really", he took a cup."I guess he has to calm down at first. I know him, he's my son." She nodded, but he could see she didn't believe one word and he didn't either.
Having wandered through the corridors for a while, they entered the doctors lounge, Mark was talking with Jesse about a patient, but both of them didn't seemed to be very concentrated.
When Dane and Jill came in they stopped talking and Jesse was about leave the room. At the door he met his father, Dane was up to say something, but the words wouldn't come over his lips. Jesse just rolled his eyes and went down the hall. The three looked at each other."I'm gonna go!", Jill said, "Some calls to Memphis's hospitals", she smiled at Dane,"Have fun!",and she was out of the door.
"Yeah, fun is the right word", Dane muttered sarcastically. Mark was still looking at him with with a mix of anger and question in his eyes.
"You don't have to blame on me", Dane said weakly, "your neice did a great job." He sat down on the chouch.
Mark took a chair and grinned a little:"I don't wanna blame on you. I know my neice and have to say I feel almost sorry with you."
"At least you're still talking to me."
"Yes, because I wanna know what happened and if you have a very good reason for it", Mark wanted to sound friendly, but he couldn't manage it as well as he thought.
While Dane and Mark were talking, Amanda and Steve met Jesse in the hall."Hi Jess", Steve greeted cheerfully,"everything fine?" When he realized the look Jesse gave him he wished he hadn't asked.
"Do I look like everything is fine?"
"Uuuuummm.....no?"
"So shut up!", then Jesse's pager went off and he headed for the ER.
Steve looked into Amandas dark brown eyes as if he had been hoping to find an answer for what happend in the last few seconds.
"Have I said anything wrong?"
"I don't know...but if looks could kill...."
"If looks could kill he wouldn't act like that", Jill had appeared behind them.
"What do you mean?", Steve asked confused.
Jill looked quickly at her watch:"The reason is sitting in the lounge.I'm already late, gotta go!"
Later the day also Steve left to do some paperwork at the department and Amanda went 'to make sure every corp was still on its place'. Mark and Dane were still sitting in the lounge when Jesse walked in. He didn't look very good, just as somebody who had operated for the last few hours, but the the difference to somebody who had been operated for the last few hours wasn't big.
"Bye, Mark", Jesse said without paying attention for his father,"I'm gonna go home. Could you ask Steve if he could find somebody to do my shift at BBQ Bob's tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be in the OR from 8.00 and the operation will take four hours at least, maybe more."
"No problem, Jess. See you tomorrow. Bye."
Jesse left the room and decided not to change his clothes again, he had already changed two times during his shift, the first time when this teenager who had drunken too much beer had thrown up on....ok, and the second time after the operation. Now he was still wearing the thin blue shirt and trousers in standard size and even although the trousers had always been too long and the shirt too wide, it was something like a second skin for him. Whatever, Jesse was too tired to change.
When he had almost reached his car his father had almost reached him. Jesse had been hoping his father wouldn't follow him, but inside he knew couldn't be so easy.
"Jess, listen to me."
"Why should I ?"
"Son, you know I'm not the kind of human who cares much for this mushy stuff. Now stop acting as three years old boy, let's go eat something and we can talk as two adults."
Jesse opened his car boot and threw his bag into it without looking at Dane. "Dad, shut up. Don't tell me how I have to act, don't tell me what I have to do and don't....Dad?" No response.
Jesse turned around and saw his father laying and the floor. Carefully he knelt down and checked the pulse when he suddenly felt a pain in his neck, then he passed out.
"Couldn't we wait, just for a moment?", a voice said while the person the voice belonged to grabbed the younger man on the shirt and dragged him to a van,"I love family tragedys!"
"Go to Opera Winfrey or do your job!", another voice said and helped the other guy to stow up the two men in the van.,"And you will get your tragedy. What about:'Father and son killed by unknown person'?"
"Brilliant! But what are we gonna do with this girl?"
The guy laughed meanly:"If she doesn't want to marry me, I don't know. We can think about her later, now let's get out of here! After this is over I'll write a letter to the hospital administerator and tell him the guarding of the parking lots is not very good." The men grinned while the van slowly drove into the Los Angeles night traffic.
Some telling calls
5.1.1.1.4 The next morning, at the BBQ Bob's
At 7 o' clock next morning Mark entered the BBQ Bob's hoping to get a breakfast without serving firstable the guest for one hour. To his relief he saw Jill standing behind the counter.
"Hi", he greeted his neice,"Doing Jesse's shift?"
"Yeah, Steve called me one hour ago. He said he didn't want to disturb me yesterday. Had he called two hours earlier he hadn't disturbed me because I wasn't in bed yet."
"Sorry", said Steve who was coming out of the kitchen,"but you were my last hope."
"No matter, anyway I get up every morning", said she while pouring some coffee for Mark and herself. Mark smiled. He enjoyed his family, especially Steve and Jill having a conversation.
They looked like adults, but in fact they were still the kids they had always been. Steve had still no chance when his cousin started talking even though she was only about half as old as him. They really had not much in common, Jill had always been a even more restless than Steve, was much more independent and less trustingly, less good natured than Steve. She also wasn't as charming as him, she did everything her own way. But they had the same kind of humor, sarcastical, teasing, sometimes really evil.
The next hour passed by, Mark was chatting with Jill when suddenly his cellphone rang.
"Hi, Doctor Sloan, this is Nancy."
"Hi", Mark was a little surprised hearing the voice of a nurse,"What's up? Anything wrong with a patient?"
"Let me say, Dr. Morrison is getting a little impatient."
"I guess I don't understand what you're meaning."
"We can't find Dr. Travis. He should have been in the OR for about 20 minutes. I've tried to call him and his pager, but without success. I thought if anybody must know something, it would be you."
" Sorry, I can't help you. I'll try to call him. Maybe he has just overslept and didn't hear the phone ringing. But Dr.Morrison will have to find another doctor to assist in this operation."
"He won't appreciate that. I gonna tell him this myself. Ok, bye Doc!"
"Yeah, bye!", Mark put his cellphone back in his pocket then he turned to Steve who was washing some cups behind the counter.
Jill had also just got a call and was standing a few metres away now."Jesse hasn't appeared in the OR yet.", Mark said. Steve gave him a confused and curious look:"Dad.....you've just said....he had overslept....you don't believe that, do you?"
Mark had just phoned at Jesse apartment, but got no answer. He shook his head:"No way, I know Jesse, this is not his way. If he slept still, he would at least hear the phone or his beeper."
Steve nodded:"Do you suppose it could have something to do with his father?"
"I don't think so. Of course it could, but...as long as I know him he never missed an operation because of problems he had with anything or anybody. He even works harder if he has got some problems."
Steve nodded. He knew what his father meant because he always did the same if he had problems, his father also. Work was a good way to repress your feelings as long as you didn't feel them anymore or you had been over it. In his thoughts Steve suddenly saw his cousin walking towards to him, he needed a few seconds to realize that she was real and not only a thought.
"Who was that?", Mark was interested in the call that had taken her about ten minutes at least.
"The first was one of my colleages. But I got a second which was a little strange. A really bad joke. I have to say my boss he mustn't always give my number to guys who are getting on his nerves. I'm getting fet up with people who call me and tell me some rubbish like:", she changed her voice into a deep, croaking ones,"We've got your friends. Forget everything you know and everything will be fine or else...I made those prancks when I was 8!"
"What did you say?", Mark who hadn't made the impression as if he had listened to her after the first sentence was suddenly awake.
"Forget about it!", Jill didn't seem to be interested in what she just had said or maybe she had forgotten already.
But Mark was pigheaded:"'We've your friends' and so on...did the guy on the phone say that?"
"Yeah, but you mustn't worry. I don't know why this always happens to me, but it's really not important."
"Maybe it's important.", Mark looked at Steve,"I think you've been right. It has something to do with his father."
Waking Up
5.1.1.1.5 Somewhere in the dark
Dane slowly woke up. There was darkness all around him. He felt a cold floor under his back and aches in his neck. His eyes finally managed to see something although there wasn't much to see.
He was laying in an empty room with some cartons standing in the corners. A small stripe of light was coming through a chink under a door. It was the only door in the room and locked, of course. Dane knew that, but later nobody should say he hadn't tried everything.
In fact Dane was searching for something to force open the door when spotted a person curled near the wall and suddenly remembered his son.*Dane Travis, you're really the most terrible father I've ever seen.* ,he thought while he bent down beside his son, who was laying on the site, movelessly.
Probably he had been knocked out as Dane, in the neck with something that was rather heavy. In the darkness Dane couldn't see Jesse's face very well, but when he touched it to make him wake up he felt something liquid on his son's cheek and when he looked closer he saw blood rinning from the nose down his face. Dane wished he would have the profession his son had, he really didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to interpret the symptoms and how serious the whole situation was.
At this time he realized that Jesse was still wearing his thin hospital clothes, probably that was the reason why he was shivering. Dane took off his jacket and covered the boy with it. Better than nothing. He noticed that his cellphone wasn't in the pocket, but he also hadn't expected that.
He wasn't sure about the things which were going on, not sure about what would happen next and what he could do to don't make it happen. The only thing he could do was waiting.
Jesse took a deep breath. He was still alive, he could feel his body. He felt the pain which was coming from his head into every part of his body, he could feel the cold stones he was laying on. He remembered everything. His father on the floor, the pain in the neck, the time he woke up, the second hit, this time on his head.
He didn't open his eyes. Maybe everything was a nightmare and he would wake up in a few seconds in his bed or in the doctors lounge. When nothing happened, Jesse decided to move, just to make sure his arms and legs were still at the right place. He moaned and rolled himself on his back, then he felt somebody touching his shoulder and hearded a voice:"Jesse, Jess, are you ok? Come on, talk to me! Jesse Ronald Travis, can you hear me?"
When Jesse heared his second name he hated his parents the most for he opened his eyes. Everything he saw was blurred. He tried to sit up, but his arms didn't seem to be able to hold his weight. His father had to catch him and helped him to sit up and lean his back against the wall. "How are you feeling?", Dane asked and to his surprise Jesse was up to say something, but a noise outside and the opening door interrupted him.
Racing Brains
Meantime, at the BBQ Bob's
"Ok, Jill, what have you done to cover Dane?", Mark asked. He didn't really know what to do, wasn't even sure about what he was doing at the moment. At least it was a start of finding out what has happened to Dane and Jesse. Dane had told Jill as much as him about his case, that was almost nothing."Hard to explain", answered Jill,"But you can come with me back to work, there I can show it on the computer."
Building of the LA Times
Half an hour later Mark and Jill starred on the computer in Jill's office. The blue light from the screen was terribly bright, Mark, though he was a computer freek himself, wondered how his neice could stand it all day. He could see many lists and dates, but Mark had no idea what they meant.
"There it is!", Jill pointed on some little squares in one corner of the screen and made them bigger with the mouse,"This are the lists of every hospital on America's west coast. Every dead man or woman is listed here and wait minute....Here: Dane Travis, Date of death October 14th, 1999. That's save, also the phonecalls I made to the insurances and the motuarys. Nobody could have known that Dane isn't dead, only if Dane had told it somebody, who was not involved."
Mark shook his head:"I can't imagine that. That would be unprofessional and Dane is one of the best spys I've ever seen. He solved so many cases, he's very intelligent. And he's one of the guys who have more luck than mind if they are in trouble."
"Seems to be a gift of this family", Jill mumbeled andd rubbed her eyes,"Well, we could ask the CIA for help, but I can't fight the feeling that the problem is the CIA.....Uncle Mark, are you listening to me?"
But Mark was starring out of the big window onto the traffic about 100 feet under them. Jill sighed. She knew how Mark worried about everybody who ever had spoken more than two words to him. That was his way, he cared for everybody and Steve, Amanda and Jesse were something special. Steve because he was his son, Amanda because she was one of his oldest friends and Jesse...maybe because he saw in Jesse a part of himself.
Jill broke the silence although she didn't really know what to say and that didn't happen often to her:"Don't worry Mark. Dane loves his son, he won't let happen anything to him."
"Yeah, probably you're right." Then he tried to grin and lent back in his chair:"Sometimes parents have strange ways to show their children that they love them."
5.1.1.1.6 Back in the darkness
"Oh, we're awake as I can see", Dane and Jesse could see two shadows walking towards them, then they appeared in front of their faces again. Jesse couldn't focus anything, he only saw some movements in the darkness and heared a voice near by his ear.
"How are you feeling?", the voice said.
*Why is suddenly everybody so interested in my health?* , Jesse thought, yet, he hadn't realized the danger he was in.
"Headaches?", another voice came out of the darkness.
Headaches wasn't the right word, Jesse's head was killing him. He decided to say nothing. At the same time the face the second voice belonged to appeared in the slight light which was coming from the open door.
Dane saw his vis `a vis only for a short moment, at the same time he was sure that he had recogniced it and froze. "Perry", he whispered with a mix of excitement and shock,"Thomas Perry!"
"Yes, my friend! Nice to see you.", the shadow answered. Dane had expected everything, but not this man, not him. "What, what are you doing here? I thought you were..."
"In jail? Dane, Dane, Dane....My ten years are over. And now I wanna have some fun."
"Ok, Tom, alright, I understand you. You have what you want. But my son has nothing to do with that. If you do anything to him...", Dane knew this wouldn't work, he just wanted to try it.
"The fact that he's your son is enough reason for me.And if you two get out of here, only in a box. See ya later."
Within these words the other guy pushed Jesse with the back against the wall, with the head as well. Jesse groaned. Everything had happened so fast. He didn't know where he was and why he was here, he didn't know what his father had done or was up to do, he only knew that his head was hurting and he wanted to have an explanation. "Who was that?" he asked his father.
"Thomas Perry", Dane sighed,"he worked with me for the CIA many years ago. Then I realized he earned some more money at the same time from some guys who were not very nice. He was corrupt and worked together with some criminals who were very dangerous for the CIA. When the CIA found out what Perry was doing he was arrested and got in jail for ten years. Now he's out and wants to make trouble because I was the one who gave the evidence in his trial."
"That he isn't your biggest fan have I noticed, but what is he gonna do with us?"
"I think, we'll find out earlier than we want to.", Dane answered, then he looked up,"Hey, when have you decided to talk to me?"
"When I realized, that every time you appear in my life I get into big trouble. At least I wanted to know why, before we are killed.", Jesse answered wryly. He didn't want to pass out again, but could hardly fight the feeling of nausea and pain. The first time on this day he was glad that he hadn't had time to eat anything during his shift. He had a really bad concussion, that was for sure. He ran his hand over his nose which was still bleeding, even more than before.
Only One Mistake
Jill opened and closed the door of her apartement behind herself and turned the light on. She looked quickly through her mail, but noticed nothing important. She sat down on a chair at the kitchen counter and rubbed her eyes. She definetly needed some rest. It had been a hard day and at the moment she wasn't a big help for anybody.
Jill shook her head, just to clear her mind -the tiredness, the thoughts of Jesse and how often she had said to him he should, please, shut up without listening to him any time, Dane who maybe just wanted to hold his son out of the shooting line- all this was to much for her.
Damn, Jesse was a good guy, as well Dane and they were adults, so why did she always meddle in things that wasn't her's. If she hadn't forced Dane to talk to his son, maybe then...
Jill's thoughts were interrupted by strange sounds her stomach made. It wasn't time for dinner, yet, but she was really hungry and happy about she had called Steve before driving home and had asked him to bring some dinner when he would drive home. Mark was still at the hospital and Steve would drive back there, too, after he had had a shower and got changed.
Getting changed -that was good idea, Jill thought, stood up and went to the bedroom. Now she realized the first time that the backdoor to the beach was open.
* Crap, hopefully nobody was in here. I should try to get up earlier; maybe I won't forget everything if I don't hurry up every morning*, she shook her head again and went into her bedroom through the open door and was suddenly grabbed by two strong hands which pulled her close to a man that obviously had been standing behind the door.
"Don't scream or you're dead!", said a croaking voice and Jill had sworn that it was the same voice she had heard on the receiver of her cellphone today morning. She told herself to stay calm and whispered:"Who are you? What do you want from me?"
"At first I want you to go out of this room without any noise, then we'll go through the backdoor without any noise and then we'll go along the beach..."
"Let me guess: Without any noise?"
"You're a fast learner and you'll be dead that fast if you don't do what I've said.", by that Jill felt something sharp in her back, a knife or something other dangerous.
Slowly she moved towards the door, into her living room, she saw a fast movement in the corner of her eyes and then a man laying on the floor.
"Freeze", Steve pointed his gun at the guy, who took quickly his hands over the head while Steve pulled him onto his feet. Jill heared the handcuffs clicking and sighed in relieve.
A few minutes later when another police officer had taken away the attacker Steve put one arm around his cousin's shoulder:"Hey, everything ok?"
"I have to admitt, I've rarely ever been so glad to see you!", both of them chuckled, then she looked straight into his eyes:"Serious, Steve, thanks."
"No problem. I know you would have done the same for me."
She grinned at him:"Yeah, but I had done the job properly and broken him every bone!"
"No doubt", he grinned back,"You will have to come to the station with me....I have some ribs in the car."
"Do I have to?....Have you said 'ribs'?"
"Yup"
"What are we waiting for?"
„ I think, he'll talk.", Steve said sitting behind his desk looking into the curious eyes of Amanda, Mark and Jill. "The whole thing must have something to do with Dane's and Jesse's disappearing and we have this guy's name and dates, he will talk, all we need is some time until he gets weak."
"The question is if we've got that time", Amanda said. She was fed up with waiting, talking without doing anything.
"You're right", Mark admitted, "but he's the only trace we've got at the moment." He shook his head."Jill, is there anything special Dane's told you, maybe a name or something else that could help?"
"No, nothing I remember. There were some names in the files he gave me, but just nothing that seemed to be important, so I can't remember them."
At that moment Amanda's pager went off.
"Sorry, guys, gotta go. Page me if you have something new or need my help."
"I'll go with you", Jill said,"if I stay up any longer I'll have to sleep an Steve's desk."
"If you find some place to sleep", Amanda added, though she didn't feel like joking.
The two women chuckled, Jill felt guilty because of making some silly jokes while their friends were held as hostages somewhere.
"You two can choose: You can walk out or my men will carry you out!", Steve looked almost emberassed at the chaotic shape of his desk.
When Amanda and Jill had left, he looked at his father:"Dad, what are you gonna do?"
"Oh, I'll stay here with you", Mark said and when he saw his son suspiciously watching him, he added:"Would you mind it if I tidy up your desk while waiting here?"
At that moment Amanda and Jill were standing behind them again.
"Haven't you found the exit in our chaos?", Steve asked rudly when he realized his partner Cheryl Banks was also there.
"What's up?", he asked nervously.
"We've got him!", she said and sounded as if she had just won in the lottery,"we've got his confession!"
"Have a seat!"
"He didn't tell us the whole story, but we are working on it. And we have names: Thomas and Benjamin Perry and he told us to search in Perry's office in Eastwick Drive...Have already send some inspectors there", she said as she saw Steve opening his mouth.
"Benjamin, I remember him, Dane said something about a Benny, who tried to kill him whilst that undercover job!", Jill remarked though no one was really listening to her.
"And we have something else: Perry owns some warehouses in Santa Monica!", Cheryl brought back the main topic.
Steve also got on his feet:"Let's go!"
Sorting Out
The warehouses in Santa Monica
Dane and Jesse had been sitting in silence since Perry and his partner had left the room. Dane saw his son only as a small shadow who was rubbing over his nose from time to time. He took a deep breath:"Is your nose still bleeding?"
"Hm"
"What happened...I'm sorry."
"You don't have to. That's your job or have you forgotten already?"
"Jess, you're my son and I really didn't want to..."
"Oh, yeah, I'm your son, nice that you've mentioned it", the reply was weak and sarcastic, Jesse didn't want to talk, he was still angry.
"Jesse, why don't you talk to me, why are you so mad?", the question wasn't very sensitive, but that was Dane's way.
Jesse didn't know if he should start laughing or crying:"Dad, I thought you were dead.
5.2 And you're just standing there and saying: Sorry, had to work!"
5.3 "I told you I'm sorry, what happened has happened, what the hell do you want me to say?", Dane stayed calm, but slowly he was becoming impatient.
"Try it with the truth, I've heard that could be helpful from time to time. You've lain at me my whole life and I don't know what this Perry or whoever he is will do to us, so tell me the truth, only for once in my life!", this answer didn't fit to Jesse, he spoke slowly,very sharply and with no emotion. Dane sighed hardly. He knew there was no way out, not this time, this time he had to say what he never had said, he had never been able to say.
"Ok", he made a break, then continued,"the truth is that I've made so many mistakes in my life that I don't even know where to start being sorry. The truth is that I've failed as a father, a husband and, as you can see on Perry, sometimes as a friend. The truth is that my work was always the one important thing for me, probably too important. But the biggest and most important truth is that you are my son...and I love you, believe it or not! My sweet little boy grew up to a man I'm very proud of. I'm impressed of who you are and what you are, that has never changed and will never change and, honestly, you don't need me, you've never needed me."
5.4
5.5 Jesse looked up:"Dad, I've needed you so often...I've always thought you wouldn't care for me!"
Dane glanced at him."I've never been the father you'd have deserved. But you've always meant something to me. If...if I could change the past, I would, believe me. The matter is: I can't change anything anymore, but I want you to know that I always wanted to protect you of guys like out there. I've only never thought of you and what you or your mother wanted. I'm sorry...god, this is becoming my new favourite word. No, serious, Jess, I never wanted you to get the feeling that you wouldn't matter anything to me. But...the time went by...and..look at yourself, I mean, you're an adult...
You know, I've never been great in admitting my mistakes and seeing you always reminds me of what a big fool I was because I've never been there for you. All I can do is just to ask you to forgive me.....I love you, son."
5.6
5.7 "I love you too, Dad", Jesse saw that his father was grappling with himself and somehow he had the feeling that this time he wasn't acting and it was long ago that he had had such a feeling the last time about his dad.
At this moment the door was opened. Dane and Jesse turned their heads and saw two men coming towards them. Dane stood up, Jesse tried as well, but didn't get on his feet. He realized how dizzy he felt. When his legs got weak he sunk down onto the floor again.
"Ok, what will I do with you two? Who wants to guess?"
Dane looked grimly at his former friend. "I know, what you'd better don't do: You can't let one of us survive, but if you kill both of us, you will never get through with that."
"That my problem, not your's!", Perry didn't seem to be very impressed, but Dane hadn't expected that, anyway. "And it doesn't look as I've got a choice: Do you know him?", with these words the other dark person, who had always stood as a shadow beside Perry, appeared
in the light."You know my son, Dane, don't you?"
Dane only needed a quick sight."Yeah, as far as I remember, was he the one who tried to kill me during my undercover job. I didn't know that this is your family buisness."
"You see, the circumstances are against you!" Perry came closer to Jesse who was sitting there movelessly. He knelt down in front of him and looked at him with condescending pity, no honest look, cool and false instead.
"You're Jesse, aren't you?" It was obvious that he didn't expect an answer. "You know, Jesse, your dad used to tell me lots of things about you, you must have been a very good son all the time. Your dad was always proud of you. Actually you don't deserve such a terrible end, having already had such as terrible parents."
The first time Jesse raised his head slowly and peered in the direction of the man who appeared to be Perry's son.
"At least my parents didn't force me to kill somebody", he hissed, watching the reactions carefully. Perry's son remained quiet, a nasty sneer on his face.
Perry himself chuckled and let out sigh. "How does it feel, hearing the two people meaning everything to you shouting at each other, crying out evil things as if the were the only human beings on earth? Yelling the other one's mistakes, hitting with the fists onto the table...Doesn't that make one feel angry, small, helpless...lost?"
Jesse winced with every word he spoke out. Perry had aimed well and hit him on his probably most sensitive nerve. Shouting, yelling, breaking cups became present in his mind again. Long forgotten...not forgotten, but got over, buried under a thick wall of humor and sarcasm. He had never cried, he knew he wouldn't even cry now, but he felt the stiffness and a shudder running down his spine.
"Shut up, only for once in your life, shut your God damn mouth!", growled Dane, not only thinking of his son, but of himself, he was definetly fed up with having feelings of guilt, though that was his own fault and knowing that bothered him even more.
"Anyway", Perry said still starring at Jesse, "I'll do you a little favor and kill you first. So it's over and you don't have see your Daddy die. Or if we turn the whole thing around, your Daddy will see you dying, that's only fair, I think. Thanks, Benny!", he took the gun his son Benny held out to him and insured it.
At that moment the door was kicked in and in the doorway was standing Steve, pointing a gun into the room, he needed some time for his eyes getting used to the darkness. Thomas and Benny were inattentive only for a few seconds, but that was enough for Dane to jump onto Perry and grab for the gun. Seeing the two of them struggling on the floor, Benny made an attempt to get out, but to his hard luck Steve was in his way. Beating Benny into the solar plexus Steve could overcome him easily.
Forcing Benny into the hands of another officer in order to have a hold on him, Steve ran over to where Dane and Perry were struggling for the gun. Normally he had shot right now, but knowing that Dane was one of the men fighting there, he worried that he could miss the right and accidently hurt the other one.
Having already pulled his gun out of the holster and wondering what to do next, Steve suddenly heard two shots ranging out followed by a quiet moment of shock. He took his chance to shove the one down from the second, obviously unconcussion man, as gently as he could because he still wasn't sure about who was who. Steve took the weapon which was laying on the floor now and looked over the moveless body. It was Dane.
Perry had recoginzed that it was useless to fight furtherly, he didn't offer resistance when Steve twisted his arms behind his back and put him handcuffs on.
Even in the dark and with blurred view Jesse could see his father's shirt coloring bloody red. Slowly he rose onto his feet, still shivering from the coldness and from Perry's last words, feeling also dizzy and sick, he somehow managed to clear his mind and concentrate, though. Seeing his father's chest covered with blood, didn't make it easier for him to stay calm, but the expierenced doctor in him won against the scared boy.
Jesse knelt down next to his Dad and felt for a pulse. And he found one, rather fast and weak, but at least there was one.
Being dragged away by Steve, Perry could stop beside Jesse for a short moment. "I really didn't want it going this way, boy, I really wanted your Daddy to see you dying, not the other way round. He'd have deserved that, you share my opinion, don't you? I'm truly sorry it hasn't worked."
Jesse shook his head. He thought for a moment if he should reply anything, but decided against it, Perry was the last person who was worth it to waste time with. His father needed him now and from one moment to another Jesse had forgotten all the anger, the pain and the indifference he had always felt in connection to his father.
"Call 911!!", Mark commanded when he rushed into the room, "and get some more light in here!"
Seconds later he and Amanda stood next to Jesse and Dane, Mark started working immediatly while Amanda touched Jesse's shoulder softly.
"Jess, stop that, you are not in the state that. Let Mark go on!"
"But..."
Jesse wanted to argue when he felt a slight sickness again. He got up and was guarded outside by Amanda. Later he couldn't remember when exactly he had passed out. It just happened.
8. Emotion
5.7.1.1.1 Community General Hospital, 3.00am
"How's Dane?", asked Jill, walking into the doctor lounge. She looked exhausted and tired, had deep lines under her eyes, but she felt better in here, near to her friends and family.
"He's just come out of the OR, he'll make it. The gun shot went directly into the chest, it's almost a miracle that it hasn't damaged any organs or even his spine", replied Mark. He was also not in the best condition, but knowing that his friends would be fine had lifted a heavy stone from his chest.
"What about Jess? Is he ok?", Steve had still the sight of his best friend, who had suddenly laid in front of his feet, in his mind. And he felt guilty because of not having Perry carried away fast enough. He knew he couldn't have done much for Dane, but he woud have liked to spare Jesse the words Perry had said at last. At least that. He hadn't managed to do so. Jesse had to bear everything, and Steve had seen the look in his friend blue eyes, calm and thoughtful, but inside it had scared the hell out of him, Steve was concerned about that.
"And so our puzzle is complete", Amanda tried to sort out some things, "Dane does his undercover job and gets almost killed by Benjamin Perry. Perry knows that Dane could identify him, so he decides make a second attempt, but this time his father, who has just been let out of prison agrees to help his son. They kidnapp Dane and more or less accidently Jesse because he was with his father at that time. They threat Jill, try to abduc her, too, but it doesn't work out as planned."
"Who was the guy who tried to kidnap me, anyway?"
"Perry's odd-job man, Baxton Mulder, hasn't cried out very loudly when God asked who wants to have some brain inside his head", Steve answered wryly. He took his mug, drank some coffee and sighed sleepy. When he saw his father getting up from his chair he enquired: "Where are you going, Dad?"
Mark was already halfly out of the door, but turned around again and said sensingly: "Oh, I only wanted to see if Jesse needs something."
The others nodded understandingly.
Mark knocked on the door of the hospital room, entered finally without having waited for an answer. He expected his friend in bed, still wearing a shirt and some light blue trousers, he wasn't really a patient, just someone who needed some peace.
Opening the door Mark spotted the bed empty. Maybe he was just to tired to get upset again, but an inner voice told him that he didn't have worry about his friend might had disappeared. Mark only sighed and went into the dark.
A figure sat on the floor at the other end of the room, he had leaned his back against the wall, had pulled the feet to his chest, the head rested on his knees.
"Jess", Mark started softly, "why are you sitting down there? That's kinda umcomfortable, don't you think?"
Jesse didn't reply, but Mark meant to recognize him shrugging his shoulders.
Mark bent down to his young friend and took seat next to him. A crack in his back reminded him that he was getting too old for those things. But if he had his friends on the one and his intervertebral discs on other hand, Mark would never have decided against his friends. Everybody knew that, that was the reason, why they all loved him so much, Jesse thought while sitting there and considering what had happened and how he should explain his behaviour to Mark.
"What's wrong, boy?", Mark knew it already, he just had the intention to make Jesse talk to him.
"Everything...", Jesse took a shuddered breath, trying to hold back his emotions. He looked up into Mark's kind, understanding eyes and realised that he could never lie at him, even though he wished he could.
"I've ever thought I could hate my father...", he started very carefully and watched the reaction. He had expected a horrorfied look, maybe a disparaging remark, but he earned nothing like that, only waiting, calm eyes which were peering at him.
"I mean...", he went on slowly, trying to arrange his mind. "He wasn't the greatest dad one can have, not even the second greatest and he always caused more problems than anything else. He was the reason for their divorce, he was the reason for my mom sitting in the kitchen, crying, he was the reason why I spent nights sitting in the wardrobe, asking myself what I had done wrong because nothing worked like it should." He made a break noticing rather surprisedly that it was the first time he revealed these things to someone else.
"If someone else hurt me so much, I'd refuse being in one room with him. And I've done that for a very long time when the subject came to my dad, has always worked, hasn't it?....But today when I saw him laying there...", he hesitated again, found it difficult to put into words what he was up to say. "He matters something to me, Mark, I can't help it, I wish it'd be so easy..." he fell silent, feeling slightly ridiculous.
Mark sighed and put one hand on his young friend's shoulder. He wanted to say something wise and knew there was nothing that would help. He remembered when he had seen his father the last time before he had disappeared under mysterical circumstances. It had taken ages until Mark found out that his father had been murdered.
Even after all those years there was still a small image of guilt in his mind, guilt because he had never made any attemps to search for his father, never made an attempt to forgive him.
"You know...", he shifted his legs to reduce the pain his back as well as possible and wondered what to say next, " as a parent you bungle hell a lot of things. But you can't just turn back the time and make it right again. And all you can hope is that your kids turn out to have the great life you always wanted them to have. To err is human, Jess, and parents are humans and maybe...some of them deserve a second chance."
Jesse nodded. He knew that these words were spoken with more than just advice and kindness, there was experience in them, something that couldn't be expressed with words, you could just get an idea of what was behind them, which hidden emotions, pains, regrets made Mark talking so thoughtfully and almost a bit ashamedly.
"That's not fair!", this had wandered through his mind only for a short while and shouldn't actually be spoken out.
"What's not fair?", asked Mark confusedly and frowning.
Jesse gave him a sheepish grin. "I always run to you if I have some problems as if the only thing you have to do is sitting there and advising me when I don't know what to do. You never tell me to shut up and to stop driving you nuts. I mean, you have other problems, too. I should be old enough to solve my problems on my own, don't you think?"
Mark shook his head. "No, Jess, that's rubbish! Let me tell you one thing: You are never old enough to deal with your problems on your own! Everyone deserves someone who listens to him. That's what friends are there for! And by the way...", his voice was now less strict, but soft and gentle, "I like you more telling me your problems than sitting in a wardrobe..."
Jesse chuckled. "Yeah, I've gotta admitt that mom's coat wasn't the best company." He didn't sound like he intended to, his voice was tear stifled and he couldn't control his emotions any more.
Mark, who was about to get onto his feet, decided that now wasn't the right time when he heard his friend sobbing quietly. He couldn't offer more support that to close Jesse into a long, big hug as the young man, shaken by the past events, shocked and overwhelmed by long buried feelings, finally burst into tears.
5.7.2
Saying Good-Bye
5.7.3
5.7.4 Two weeks later at the beach house
" Dane, I wanted to ask you something..."
Dane, who had been standing outside the Sloan's house on the deck, turned around and set down the coffe mug he'd been holding. He looked at the young woman who stood in front of him, her arms folded in front of her chest. He knew that she was up make him confess something, though he didn't know what, yet.
"What's the matter?", he asked as innocently as he could.
"Why did you come to me? Why not anybody else?"
"As I explained you...I'm semi-retired and..."
"Oh, c'mon, save this story for your granny. Tell me the truth!", she wasn't requesting, it was an order. Little brat, he thought and smiled wryly.
"Ok, you've got me. I guessed that someone from the CIA was behind all that. No one alse could have known that I wasn't really dead apart from some guys who worked there. But I could never have imagined that it was Perry. I thought he was in jail and had no connection to the CIA any more. I was wrong. He had people inside there who gave him all the information he wanted. When he found out that I was in the same gang his son was, he saw his chance for taking revenge. And then his son failed, I let me report dead and he decided to the job himself. No one can die two times....Anyway, I needed someone who was not involved and you were...just there..."
Reviewing the past months, Dane let out a shuddered breath. Angry about traitors the CIA had deal with now, he frowned.
"May I ask you something, too?", something was still bothering him, only a small detail, but...
"Sure...", she nodded readily.
"You didn't really recognize that the passport was a copy, did you?"
She glanced at him slightly amusedly and shrugged. "Nope, I didn't...but you've gotta admitt it was well-guessed..."
She held out one hand. "It was a pleasure to work with you!"
He smiled back and took her hand.
The sun was slowly setting and the ocean looked almost dark-red.
"It's a real pity that you can't join us for dinner", Mark said coming from inside, "Steve's cooking and..."
"Then it isn't a pity, at least not for Dane...", Jill interrupted her uncle, chuckling a little.
Dane laughed. "I'm also sorry, Mark, but my my plane departures in about one and a half hour and I should start saying good bye. Mark, I wanted to thank you, my son owes you a lot and so I do. Thank you for being a friend."
Mark grinned: "No problem, Dane. Good bye and don't let pass to much time 'till you show up again."
Dane nodded. "I should go inside and tell the rest of you good bye. Jesse is gonna take me to airport."
10. This Time Not For Good
5.7.4.1.1 LA airport
Dane put down his suitcase and scrutizised the young man in front of him. He hadn't changed much. The same big, blue, innocent eyes, the same tousled blonde hair, the same bright grin. His son looked like the little boy Dane had loved so much. Dane sighed. Maybe he was just getting old.
"So here we are...", he began sheepishly.
"Yeah...", Jesse replied, also not knowing what to say. "So....I will see more of you than a post card in the future?"
Dane chuckled, knowing what his son meant. "I'm running out of stamps. I think, next time I'll have to show up in person if you don't mind."
"Not at all..."
" See ya, Jess, soon, I promise!"
"Dad, you don't have to make promises you can't..."
"Not this time, Jesse. Life is to short to make promises one one can't keep, don't you think?"
Smiling at each other, they knew what the other one was thinking. And for the first time in both of their lifes they had the feeling that rift between them had gone and been replaced by a bridge.
Jesse suddenly said:"Dad, I wanted to ask you for something..."
"Yeah..."
"Do me a favour and never call me Ronald again! I hate this name..."
Dane grinned understandingly."Hey, you know how stubborn you mother can be...to give you a second name wasn't my idea!"
Both men chuckled and hugged each other.
"Bye son, watch out after yourself!"
"After the last weeks, I think, you could use this advise better than I!", Jesse replied dryly.
"At least, I don't drink twenty mugs of coffee per day!", Dane shot back.
"Hey, who's the doctor?", Jesse teased him a bit, then said: "Bye dad! I'm happy to....to have you back."
"Same with you, son! Bye!"
Dane waved a last time before he disappeared in a crowd of people who josteled through the big doors, rushing to the gate.
Jesse watched the doors closing behind them and was still in thoughts when his cellphone rang. Actually not in the mood of going to the hospital and doing an emergency operation he answered reluctantly.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Jess, it's Steve!"
Jesse sighed happily, almost in relief. "What's up?"
"Your dinner is gettin' cold!"
"Will be home in about twenty minutes, pookie", Jesse made fun of his friend and could almost see him looking unnerved at the other end of the line.
"Hey, we have no problems to eat your portion, too!"
"I'm on my way!" Jesse switched his phone off and run to the exit of the airport. He nearly jumped into his car and turned the engine on. Driving fast, he hummed with the radio. His friends were great. Life was great. Even when Steve was cooking.
The End
I added the character of Jill Hastings. There is another story which introduces her to the show, but I have some problems with it. Hope you'll understand this, though.
My (British) English is still not perfect at all cause it's not my native language. So if there are some word order, grammatical or vocabulary problems, please excuse them, I'm working on it! ;-)
Can we start finally?! Yup, think so... (
2
3 **************************************************************************** *****************************
4
5 Dead and Alive
Missed Lunch
5.1.1.1 Main building of the LA Times
"Miss Hastings, here's a man who wants to talk to you. He says it is very important.", came out of the loudspeaker on Jill's desk. The young jounalist sighed angrily. She had worked the whole night before and now it was 11.15 a.m., almost noon She was hungry, tired and didn't feel like listening to anybody who had been abducted by aliens or information about Mick Jagger's relationship to his dog.
So she answered:"Dorrie, do you know how many blockheads come into my office every day and tell me their stories are important?" At this moment a grey haired man around the middle 50's rushed into her office, Jill's secretary behind him:"I'm sorry Ma'am, I couldn't hold him up!" When Jill saw the begging look in the man's eyes, she sighed again and said to her secretary:"OK, Connie, I'll give him a few minutes. Could you please phone my uncle and tell him, I could be late. He doesn't have to wait for me with lunch."
Then the door was closed and Jill told the man to have a seat. He began:"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I don't know what I had done when...."
Then he realized Jill's evil grin and stopped. "Anything wrong?"
"No", she said, still grinning,"I'm just tired, hungry and up to kill anybody who is getting on my nervs.Go on!"
He smiled cautiously."I'm sorry, Madam, I was just happy to...uuuuhh....but if you want me to go..."
"I don't want you to go", she interrupted him."Just listen to me. I'm afraid if I'm a little impolite, but as I said I'm really tired. So here are the rules for our small conversation. At first: Don't begin every sentence with "I'm sorry", this is no confession. Second part: Don't call me "Madam", I'm not as old as you.And the third: Tell me finally who you are, what you're doing here and what the hell do you want from me?"
The man smiled at her, but in another way than before, his insecure way was gone."I like people like you", he said. "OK, I'll make it short. My name is not important, anyway not at the moment. I'm a CIA agent and I need your help or better to say: The CIA needs your help."
„I see, what can I do for you?", Jill felt too overwhelmed to make some mean remarks.
He took a deep breath then he said:"You see...in fact ...I'm dead."
5.1.1.1.1 At the same time at BBQ Bob's
"Jill's secretary has just called and said, Jill would be late. We don't need to wait for her with lunch.", told Mark Steve and Jesse when he came into the restaurant and sat down behind the counter next to Jesse and towards Steve who was standing there and serving the guests. Steve balanced the last two plates with rips to the right places and then came back to their place where Mark and Jesse talked already.
"Probably one of Jill's blockheads came in the last second because he had some information about Heather Locklear and whose cat.", said Jesse who was drumming with his fingers on the counter. The three men chuckled. Mark watched his young friend. It was good to see him smile.
About one week ago Jesse got a call at the Community General. Mark was just standing beside him and could see the colour faiding from his friend's face with every word that came from the other site of the phone.After the call Mark had asked Jesse what had happened. But Jesse didn't answer, he seemed to be stiffed.
Mark had needed almost two hours until Jesse -still shocked, trembling and under tears- had told him the story: Jesse's father had been shot somewhere in Memphis. The doctor's tried to save his life, but without success. He was gone. Because he was killed in a CIA operation, the corp couldn't released for some other reasons Jesse had forget and he wasn't interested in. After that day Jesse hadn't spoken much and Mark knew that his father's dead burdened him more than he wanted to admitt.
"Ey, Mister, where is my beer?!" Mark was torn out of his thoughts.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!", Steve shouted ,"I've also only two hands!" Then he paused for a moment and looked at Jesse."Instead to sit there and grin you could help me", he said reproachfully, "This is your restaurant, too!"
"Sorry", Jesse said and stood up quickly ,"but I'm also a doctor and my shift begins in thirty minutes." With these words he disappeared.
Mark realised his son's searching look and knew this situation could be absolutly tricky for him. "Dad, what about you?"
"Gotta go, son. To the hospital, Amanda is waiting for me. Bye!"
"Didn't you want to eat something?", Steve didn't ask as a son, but as a leutenant and Mark knew his excuse was really cheap. "Perhaps later. Hold on, you're doing this great", and then Mark was escaped. Steve sighned hard. But now he had to care for his guests.
5.1.1.1.2 Back at the LA Times
Meanwhile Jill starred at the man in front of her:"What does that mean,'you are dead'? Are you a ghost?"
The man swallowed two times then he said:"You see, I've worked a long time in Europe for the CIA, an undercover job in a smuggler ring that was also connected to the Mafia and as we suppose to some terrorists. They smuggled weapons from Russia through Europe to the south of the USA. We had almost catched them at a port in Florida, but they had more informations than we had guessed.
They wanted to revenge and engaged someone from their gang, a Benjamin Blablabla, who should try to kill me, but I was lucky, it didn't work. However, the whole operation was in danger and my boss had the idea to let me die. Nobody but the criminals should be reported about my death.We let a doctor write a false death certificate and everything was perfect. The information about my alleged death was top secret,but anyway it became official. That was the short version of the story."
"Sounds adventurous" said Jill thoughtfully and when she saw him giving her an indignant look, she added:"Don't get me wrong, I believe you. It's just...I don't see how I could help you to win back your life. I'm from the press and not..."
The stranger took a deep breath again and said:"I'm semi-retired and some of my 'actions' ain't covered by the CIA. And in fact you are supposed to help me to remain dead. Now that every one in the USA thinks I am dead, someone could check that out and probably learn that I've never died. I haven't ended up working on this case and it's easier when..."
"Ok, shut up, I can guess what you're wanting to say.....OK!", she sighned another time."I'm gonna help you! But if I'm to help you I'll need your name and your dates. Give me your passport!"
He gave her a passport. She read interested, then she let it sink, looked severely at him and spoke very slowly:"OK, listen to me. I can help you, but if I should do it, you have to trust me! I really thought the CIA could make passports which not look like what they are. Cheap copys."
He smiled sarcastically:"You're a witch!" he reached for another passport in his jacket and gave it the woman. "I'm not a witch, I'm smart", she took the passport. It seemed to be true. She looked over it, once,twice. That couldn't be true. It was worse, it could! Jill was shocked. Why hadn't she realized it earlier? Sure, Mark had told her the story and she was really sorry, but there had been so much work in the last few days and...."Dane", she said,"we have to talk."
"But I swear everything is true. My true name, my true dates..."
"Your true kid", she continued.
A Lot To Explain
"Where are we going to?", Dane asked when they had left the building of the L.A.Times and crossed the parking lot.
"To my car", was the short answer.
"OK, and then?"
"We're gonna drive to the Community General!"
He stopped apruptly."No way! I mean...you can't!"
"Oh, yes, I can and if you want me to help you, should you come with me."
"But...I'm dead, have you forgotten that?", he was moaning.
"Yes you're dead and you'll be dead. Or do you think Jesse has any connection to the Mafia? Do you want to stay there till you are really dead or will you get into my car?"
He came after her without any response.
After they had been driving for about five minutes he spoke at first:"This is not the way to the hospital."
"I know, I just wanted to buy some HotDogs because when I wanted to have lunch somebody came into my office and got on my nervs until about 10 minutes ago and now I'm a little hungry." The car stopped.
He smiled nervously and watched her when she got out of the car and went to buy some junk food. If she hadn't told Dane that she was Mark Sloan's neice he hadn't recognized it. Sure, she was tall like her cousin Steve, but that was the only thing they had in common. Long dark brown hair, brown eyes and a small babynose. Slim, not very sweet, but not ugly. She was young, perhaps as old as Jesse, maybe younger though she was about 3 inches taller than him. Dane was chuckeling when the door was opened.
While driving the car through the traffic Jill ate her HotDogs and Dane was looking out of the window and realized the first time how pale Los Angeles seemed to be in the California sunlight. It was not very warm, not as warm as usual at the end of October, but Dane noticed that she was wearing thin clothes."You aren't from here, are you?", he asked.
"Yes and no, I was born here in L.A., but when I was ten years old, we moved to Europe, I grew up there. My father worked as a publicist and my mother for the government."
"I knew Mark has two kids, Steve and a daughter, but.....", he made a break, didn't know how to say it without sounding impolitely.
"I don't look very similar to them because I'm the daughter of Kathrine's sister,... Kathrine was the Mark's wife's, my aunt's name", she answered as if she could read Dane's thoughts.
Then there was silence.After a few minutes Jill began a sentence carefully:"If you would be honest with yourself....if we hadn't met...had you reported your son...that you're still alive?"
She watched his reaction from the site, he looked forwards like frozen, he swallowed and seemed to feel uncomfortably."I don't know", he said, and although that was not the whole truth she seemed to be satisfied.
When they drove into the parking lot Dane said:"May I ask you something?"
She turned off the engine:"Of course."
"Would...would you forgive your father."
She looked straight into his face:"My father died three years ago and I can't recommend his way." With these words she left the car and Dane followed her.
5.1.1.1.3 Community General Hospital
Jesse was standing at the reception of the ER. He had realized the man who was coming over to him from the elevator only in the corner of his eyes. He was concentrated on his charts while talking to a nurse. Then he turned to go, when he saw his father standing a few meters away.
Jesse looked at Dane as if he had seen a ghost."Hi", Dane wasn't sure what to say.
"Oh god", Jesse starred at him."Oh god!" A few seconds passed without happening anything.
"I'm not dead", Dane didn't like the situation,"it was a.... missunderstanding."
"I see...", Jesse had recovered slowly. 'There must be anything else',he thought,'he wouldn't look so guilty, if not; I know him.' He became really angry about his father and didn't even know, why.
"I wanted to call you, but...the work...you know." There it was! The word Jesse hated more on his father than anything else. The word which was the reason, the excuse for any mistake his father had ever made.
"Oh, yes , I know!", Jesse answered angrily. He didn't see any reason for hiding this feeling anymore.
"Son, please, let me explain...."
Jesse gave his father a contemptuous look:"Don't you think you're a little late? Oh, no, I remember, it's just me. Everything OK! Have to go rounds, bye." Then he turned around and went away.
Dane didn't run after him."Have had success?", Jill was standing behind him with two cups of cafe.
"Not really", he took a cup."I guess he has to calm down at first. I know him, he's my son." She nodded, but he could see she didn't believe one word and he didn't either.
Having wandered through the corridors for a while, they entered the doctors lounge, Mark was talking with Jesse about a patient, but both of them didn't seemed to be very concentrated.
When Dane and Jill came in they stopped talking and Jesse was about leave the room. At the door he met his father, Dane was up to say something, but the words wouldn't come over his lips. Jesse just rolled his eyes and went down the hall. The three looked at each other."I'm gonna go!", Jill said, "Some calls to Memphis's hospitals", she smiled at Dane,"Have fun!",and she was out of the door.
"Yeah, fun is the right word", Dane muttered sarcastically. Mark was still looking at him with with a mix of anger and question in his eyes.
"You don't have to blame on me", Dane said weakly, "your neice did a great job." He sat down on the chouch.
Mark took a chair and grinned a little:"I don't wanna blame on you. I know my neice and have to say I feel almost sorry with you."
"At least you're still talking to me."
"Yes, because I wanna know what happened and if you have a very good reason for it", Mark wanted to sound friendly, but he couldn't manage it as well as he thought.
While Dane and Mark were talking, Amanda and Steve met Jesse in the hall."Hi Jess", Steve greeted cheerfully,"everything fine?" When he realized the look Jesse gave him he wished he hadn't asked.
"Do I look like everything is fine?"
"Uuuuummm.....no?"
"So shut up!", then Jesse's pager went off and he headed for the ER.
Steve looked into Amandas dark brown eyes as if he had been hoping to find an answer for what happend in the last few seconds.
"Have I said anything wrong?"
"I don't know...but if looks could kill...."
"If looks could kill he wouldn't act like that", Jill had appeared behind them.
"What do you mean?", Steve asked confused.
Jill looked quickly at her watch:"The reason is sitting in the lounge.I'm already late, gotta go!"
Later the day also Steve left to do some paperwork at the department and Amanda went 'to make sure every corp was still on its place'. Mark and Dane were still sitting in the lounge when Jesse walked in. He didn't look very good, just as somebody who had operated for the last few hours, but the the difference to somebody who had been operated for the last few hours wasn't big.
"Bye, Mark", Jesse said without paying attention for his father,"I'm gonna go home. Could you ask Steve if he could find somebody to do my shift at BBQ Bob's tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be in the OR from 8.00 and the operation will take four hours at least, maybe more."
"No problem, Jess. See you tomorrow. Bye."
Jesse left the room and decided not to change his clothes again, he had already changed two times during his shift, the first time when this teenager who had drunken too much beer had thrown up on....ok, and the second time after the operation. Now he was still wearing the thin blue shirt and trousers in standard size and even although the trousers had always been too long and the shirt too wide, it was something like a second skin for him. Whatever, Jesse was too tired to change.
When he had almost reached his car his father had almost reached him. Jesse had been hoping his father wouldn't follow him, but inside he knew couldn't be so easy.
"Jess, listen to me."
"Why should I ?"
"Son, you know I'm not the kind of human who cares much for this mushy stuff. Now stop acting as three years old boy, let's go eat something and we can talk as two adults."
Jesse opened his car boot and threw his bag into it without looking at Dane. "Dad, shut up. Don't tell me how I have to act, don't tell me what I have to do and don't....Dad?" No response.
Jesse turned around and saw his father laying and the floor. Carefully he knelt down and checked the pulse when he suddenly felt a pain in his neck, then he passed out.
"Couldn't we wait, just for a moment?", a voice said while the person the voice belonged to grabbed the younger man on the shirt and dragged him to a van,"I love family tragedys!"
"Go to Opera Winfrey or do your job!", another voice said and helped the other guy to stow up the two men in the van.,"And you will get your tragedy. What about:'Father and son killed by unknown person'?"
"Brilliant! But what are we gonna do with this girl?"
The guy laughed meanly:"If she doesn't want to marry me, I don't know. We can think about her later, now let's get out of here! After this is over I'll write a letter to the hospital administerator and tell him the guarding of the parking lots is not very good." The men grinned while the van slowly drove into the Los Angeles night traffic.
Some telling calls
5.1.1.1.4 The next morning, at the BBQ Bob's
At 7 o' clock next morning Mark entered the BBQ Bob's hoping to get a breakfast without serving firstable the guest for one hour. To his relief he saw Jill standing behind the counter.
"Hi", he greeted his neice,"Doing Jesse's shift?"
"Yeah, Steve called me one hour ago. He said he didn't want to disturb me yesterday. Had he called two hours earlier he hadn't disturbed me because I wasn't in bed yet."
"Sorry", said Steve who was coming out of the kitchen,"but you were my last hope."
"No matter, anyway I get up every morning", said she while pouring some coffee for Mark and herself. Mark smiled. He enjoyed his family, especially Steve and Jill having a conversation.
They looked like adults, but in fact they were still the kids they had always been. Steve had still no chance when his cousin started talking even though she was only about half as old as him. They really had not much in common, Jill had always been a even more restless than Steve, was much more independent and less trustingly, less good natured than Steve. She also wasn't as charming as him, she did everything her own way. But they had the same kind of humor, sarcastical, teasing, sometimes really evil.
The next hour passed by, Mark was chatting with Jill when suddenly his cellphone rang.
"Hi, Doctor Sloan, this is Nancy."
"Hi", Mark was a little surprised hearing the voice of a nurse,"What's up? Anything wrong with a patient?"
"Let me say, Dr. Morrison is getting a little impatient."
"I guess I don't understand what you're meaning."
"We can't find Dr. Travis. He should have been in the OR for about 20 minutes. I've tried to call him and his pager, but without success. I thought if anybody must know something, it would be you."
" Sorry, I can't help you. I'll try to call him. Maybe he has just overslept and didn't hear the phone ringing. But Dr.Morrison will have to find another doctor to assist in this operation."
"He won't appreciate that. I gonna tell him this myself. Ok, bye Doc!"
"Yeah, bye!", Mark put his cellphone back in his pocket then he turned to Steve who was washing some cups behind the counter.
Jill had also just got a call and was standing a few metres away now."Jesse hasn't appeared in the OR yet.", Mark said. Steve gave him a confused and curious look:"Dad.....you've just said....he had overslept....you don't believe that, do you?"
Mark had just phoned at Jesse apartment, but got no answer. He shook his head:"No way, I know Jesse, this is not his way. If he slept still, he would at least hear the phone or his beeper."
Steve nodded:"Do you suppose it could have something to do with his father?"
"I don't think so. Of course it could, but...as long as I know him he never missed an operation because of problems he had with anything or anybody. He even works harder if he has got some problems."
Steve nodded. He knew what his father meant because he always did the same if he had problems, his father also. Work was a good way to repress your feelings as long as you didn't feel them anymore or you had been over it. In his thoughts Steve suddenly saw his cousin walking towards to him, he needed a few seconds to realize that she was real and not only a thought.
"Who was that?", Mark was interested in the call that had taken her about ten minutes at least.
"The first was one of my colleages. But I got a second which was a little strange. A really bad joke. I have to say my boss he mustn't always give my number to guys who are getting on his nerves. I'm getting fet up with people who call me and tell me some rubbish like:", she changed her voice into a deep, croaking ones,"We've got your friends. Forget everything you know and everything will be fine or else...I made those prancks when I was 8!"
"What did you say?", Mark who hadn't made the impression as if he had listened to her after the first sentence was suddenly awake.
"Forget about it!", Jill didn't seem to be interested in what she just had said or maybe she had forgotten already.
But Mark was pigheaded:"'We've your friends' and so on...did the guy on the phone say that?"
"Yeah, but you mustn't worry. I don't know why this always happens to me, but it's really not important."
"Maybe it's important.", Mark looked at Steve,"I think you've been right. It has something to do with his father."
Waking Up
5.1.1.1.5 Somewhere in the dark
Dane slowly woke up. There was darkness all around him. He felt a cold floor under his back and aches in his neck. His eyes finally managed to see something although there wasn't much to see.
He was laying in an empty room with some cartons standing in the corners. A small stripe of light was coming through a chink under a door. It was the only door in the room and locked, of course. Dane knew that, but later nobody should say he hadn't tried everything.
In fact Dane was searching for something to force open the door when spotted a person curled near the wall and suddenly remembered his son.*Dane Travis, you're really the most terrible father I've ever seen.* ,he thought while he bent down beside his son, who was laying on the site, movelessly.
Probably he had been knocked out as Dane, in the neck with something that was rather heavy. In the darkness Dane couldn't see Jesse's face very well, but when he touched it to make him wake up he felt something liquid on his son's cheek and when he looked closer he saw blood rinning from the nose down his face. Dane wished he would have the profession his son had, he really didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to interpret the symptoms and how serious the whole situation was.
At this time he realized that Jesse was still wearing his thin hospital clothes, probably that was the reason why he was shivering. Dane took off his jacket and covered the boy with it. Better than nothing. He noticed that his cellphone wasn't in the pocket, but he also hadn't expected that.
He wasn't sure about the things which were going on, not sure about what would happen next and what he could do to don't make it happen. The only thing he could do was waiting.
Jesse took a deep breath. He was still alive, he could feel his body. He felt the pain which was coming from his head into every part of his body, he could feel the cold stones he was laying on. He remembered everything. His father on the floor, the pain in the neck, the time he woke up, the second hit, this time on his head.
He didn't open his eyes. Maybe everything was a nightmare and he would wake up in a few seconds in his bed or in the doctors lounge. When nothing happened, Jesse decided to move, just to make sure his arms and legs were still at the right place. He moaned and rolled himself on his back, then he felt somebody touching his shoulder and hearded a voice:"Jesse, Jess, are you ok? Come on, talk to me! Jesse Ronald Travis, can you hear me?"
When Jesse heared his second name he hated his parents the most for he opened his eyes. Everything he saw was blurred. He tried to sit up, but his arms didn't seem to be able to hold his weight. His father had to catch him and helped him to sit up and lean his back against the wall. "How are you feeling?", Dane asked and to his surprise Jesse was up to say something, but a noise outside and the opening door interrupted him.
Racing Brains
Meantime, at the BBQ Bob's
"Ok, Jill, what have you done to cover Dane?", Mark asked. He didn't really know what to do, wasn't even sure about what he was doing at the moment. At least it was a start of finding out what has happened to Dane and Jesse. Dane had told Jill as much as him about his case, that was almost nothing."Hard to explain", answered Jill,"But you can come with me back to work, there I can show it on the computer."
Building of the LA Times
Half an hour later Mark and Jill starred on the computer in Jill's office. The blue light from the screen was terribly bright, Mark, though he was a computer freek himself, wondered how his neice could stand it all day. He could see many lists and dates, but Mark had no idea what they meant.
"There it is!", Jill pointed on some little squares in one corner of the screen and made them bigger with the mouse,"This are the lists of every hospital on America's west coast. Every dead man or woman is listed here and wait minute....Here: Dane Travis, Date of death October 14th, 1999. That's save, also the phonecalls I made to the insurances and the motuarys. Nobody could have known that Dane isn't dead, only if Dane had told it somebody, who was not involved."
Mark shook his head:"I can't imagine that. That would be unprofessional and Dane is one of the best spys I've ever seen. He solved so many cases, he's very intelligent. And he's one of the guys who have more luck than mind if they are in trouble."
"Seems to be a gift of this family", Jill mumbeled andd rubbed her eyes,"Well, we could ask the CIA for help, but I can't fight the feeling that the problem is the CIA.....Uncle Mark, are you listening to me?"
But Mark was starring out of the big window onto the traffic about 100 feet under them. Jill sighed. She knew how Mark worried about everybody who ever had spoken more than two words to him. That was his way, he cared for everybody and Steve, Amanda and Jesse were something special. Steve because he was his son, Amanda because she was one of his oldest friends and Jesse...maybe because he saw in Jesse a part of himself.
Jill broke the silence although she didn't really know what to say and that didn't happen often to her:"Don't worry Mark. Dane loves his son, he won't let happen anything to him."
"Yeah, probably you're right." Then he tried to grin and lent back in his chair:"Sometimes parents have strange ways to show their children that they love them."
5.1.1.1.6 Back in the darkness
"Oh, we're awake as I can see", Dane and Jesse could see two shadows walking towards them, then they appeared in front of their faces again. Jesse couldn't focus anything, he only saw some movements in the darkness and heared a voice near by his ear.
"How are you feeling?", the voice said.
*Why is suddenly everybody so interested in my health?* , Jesse thought, yet, he hadn't realized the danger he was in.
"Headaches?", another voice came out of the darkness.
Headaches wasn't the right word, Jesse's head was killing him. He decided to say nothing. At the same time the face the second voice belonged to appeared in the slight light which was coming from the open door.
Dane saw his vis `a vis only for a short moment, at the same time he was sure that he had recogniced it and froze. "Perry", he whispered with a mix of excitement and shock,"Thomas Perry!"
"Yes, my friend! Nice to see you.", the shadow answered. Dane had expected everything, but not this man, not him. "What, what are you doing here? I thought you were..."
"In jail? Dane, Dane, Dane....My ten years are over. And now I wanna have some fun."
"Ok, Tom, alright, I understand you. You have what you want. But my son has nothing to do with that. If you do anything to him...", Dane knew this wouldn't work, he just wanted to try it.
"The fact that he's your son is enough reason for me.And if you two get out of here, only in a box. See ya later."
Within these words the other guy pushed Jesse with the back against the wall, with the head as well. Jesse groaned. Everything had happened so fast. He didn't know where he was and why he was here, he didn't know what his father had done or was up to do, he only knew that his head was hurting and he wanted to have an explanation. "Who was that?" he asked his father.
"Thomas Perry", Dane sighed,"he worked with me for the CIA many years ago. Then I realized he earned some more money at the same time from some guys who were not very nice. He was corrupt and worked together with some criminals who were very dangerous for the CIA. When the CIA found out what Perry was doing he was arrested and got in jail for ten years. Now he's out and wants to make trouble because I was the one who gave the evidence in his trial."
"That he isn't your biggest fan have I noticed, but what is he gonna do with us?"
"I think, we'll find out earlier than we want to.", Dane answered, then he looked up,"Hey, when have you decided to talk to me?"
"When I realized, that every time you appear in my life I get into big trouble. At least I wanted to know why, before we are killed.", Jesse answered wryly. He didn't want to pass out again, but could hardly fight the feeling of nausea and pain. The first time on this day he was glad that he hadn't had time to eat anything during his shift. He had a really bad concussion, that was for sure. He ran his hand over his nose which was still bleeding, even more than before.
Only One Mistake
Jill opened and closed the door of her apartement behind herself and turned the light on. She looked quickly through her mail, but noticed nothing important. She sat down on a chair at the kitchen counter and rubbed her eyes. She definetly needed some rest. It had been a hard day and at the moment she wasn't a big help for anybody.
Jill shook her head, just to clear her mind -the tiredness, the thoughts of Jesse and how often she had said to him he should, please, shut up without listening to him any time, Dane who maybe just wanted to hold his son out of the shooting line- all this was to much for her.
Damn, Jesse was a good guy, as well Dane and they were adults, so why did she always meddle in things that wasn't her's. If she hadn't forced Dane to talk to his son, maybe then...
Jill's thoughts were interrupted by strange sounds her stomach made. It wasn't time for dinner, yet, but she was really hungry and happy about she had called Steve before driving home and had asked him to bring some dinner when he would drive home. Mark was still at the hospital and Steve would drive back there, too, after he had had a shower and got changed.
Getting changed -that was good idea, Jill thought, stood up and went to the bedroom. Now she realized the first time that the backdoor to the beach was open.
* Crap, hopefully nobody was in here. I should try to get up earlier; maybe I won't forget everything if I don't hurry up every morning*, she shook her head again and went into her bedroom through the open door and was suddenly grabbed by two strong hands which pulled her close to a man that obviously had been standing behind the door.
"Don't scream or you're dead!", said a croaking voice and Jill had sworn that it was the same voice she had heard on the receiver of her cellphone today morning. She told herself to stay calm and whispered:"Who are you? What do you want from me?"
"At first I want you to go out of this room without any noise, then we'll go through the backdoor without any noise and then we'll go along the beach..."
"Let me guess: Without any noise?"
"You're a fast learner and you'll be dead that fast if you don't do what I've said.", by that Jill felt something sharp in her back, a knife or something other dangerous.
Slowly she moved towards the door, into her living room, she saw a fast movement in the corner of her eyes and then a man laying on the floor.
"Freeze", Steve pointed his gun at the guy, who took quickly his hands over the head while Steve pulled him onto his feet. Jill heared the handcuffs clicking and sighed in relieve.
A few minutes later when another police officer had taken away the attacker Steve put one arm around his cousin's shoulder:"Hey, everything ok?"
"I have to admitt, I've rarely ever been so glad to see you!", both of them chuckled, then she looked straight into his eyes:"Serious, Steve, thanks."
"No problem. I know you would have done the same for me."
She grinned at him:"Yeah, but I had done the job properly and broken him every bone!"
"No doubt", he grinned back,"You will have to come to the station with me....I have some ribs in the car."
"Do I have to?....Have you said 'ribs'?"
"Yup"
"What are we waiting for?"
„ I think, he'll talk.", Steve said sitting behind his desk looking into the curious eyes of Amanda, Mark and Jill. "The whole thing must have something to do with Dane's and Jesse's disappearing and we have this guy's name and dates, he will talk, all we need is some time until he gets weak."
"The question is if we've got that time", Amanda said. She was fed up with waiting, talking without doing anything.
"You're right", Mark admitted, "but he's the only trace we've got at the moment." He shook his head."Jill, is there anything special Dane's told you, maybe a name or something else that could help?"
"No, nothing I remember. There were some names in the files he gave me, but just nothing that seemed to be important, so I can't remember them."
At that moment Amanda's pager went off.
"Sorry, guys, gotta go. Page me if you have something new or need my help."
"I'll go with you", Jill said,"if I stay up any longer I'll have to sleep an Steve's desk."
"If you find some place to sleep", Amanda added, though she didn't feel like joking.
The two women chuckled, Jill felt guilty because of making some silly jokes while their friends were held as hostages somewhere.
"You two can choose: You can walk out or my men will carry you out!", Steve looked almost emberassed at the chaotic shape of his desk.
When Amanda and Jill had left, he looked at his father:"Dad, what are you gonna do?"
"Oh, I'll stay here with you", Mark said and when he saw his son suspiciously watching him, he added:"Would you mind it if I tidy up your desk while waiting here?"
At that moment Amanda and Jill were standing behind them again.
"Haven't you found the exit in our chaos?", Steve asked rudly when he realized his partner Cheryl Banks was also there.
"What's up?", he asked nervously.
"We've got him!", she said and sounded as if she had just won in the lottery,"we've got his confession!"
"Have a seat!"
"He didn't tell us the whole story, but we are working on it. And we have names: Thomas and Benjamin Perry and he told us to search in Perry's office in Eastwick Drive...Have already send some inspectors there", she said as she saw Steve opening his mouth.
"Benjamin, I remember him, Dane said something about a Benny, who tried to kill him whilst that undercover job!", Jill remarked though no one was really listening to her.
"And we have something else: Perry owns some warehouses in Santa Monica!", Cheryl brought back the main topic.
Steve also got on his feet:"Let's go!"
Sorting Out
The warehouses in Santa Monica
Dane and Jesse had been sitting in silence since Perry and his partner had left the room. Dane saw his son only as a small shadow who was rubbing over his nose from time to time. He took a deep breath:"Is your nose still bleeding?"
"Hm"
"What happened...I'm sorry."
"You don't have to. That's your job or have you forgotten already?"
"Jess, you're my son and I really didn't want to..."
"Oh, yeah, I'm your son, nice that you've mentioned it", the reply was weak and sarcastic, Jesse didn't want to talk, he was still angry.
"Jesse, why don't you talk to me, why are you so mad?", the question wasn't very sensitive, but that was Dane's way.
Jesse didn't know if he should start laughing or crying:"Dad, I thought you were dead.
5.2 And you're just standing there and saying: Sorry, had to work!"
5.3 "I told you I'm sorry, what happened has happened, what the hell do you want me to say?", Dane stayed calm, but slowly he was becoming impatient.
"Try it with the truth, I've heard that could be helpful from time to time. You've lain at me my whole life and I don't know what this Perry or whoever he is will do to us, so tell me the truth, only for once in my life!", this answer didn't fit to Jesse, he spoke slowly,very sharply and with no emotion. Dane sighed hardly. He knew there was no way out, not this time, this time he had to say what he never had said, he had never been able to say.
"Ok", he made a break, then continued,"the truth is that I've made so many mistakes in my life that I don't even know where to start being sorry. The truth is that I've failed as a father, a husband and, as you can see on Perry, sometimes as a friend. The truth is that my work was always the one important thing for me, probably too important. But the biggest and most important truth is that you are my son...and I love you, believe it or not! My sweet little boy grew up to a man I'm very proud of. I'm impressed of who you are and what you are, that has never changed and will never change and, honestly, you don't need me, you've never needed me."
5.4
5.5 Jesse looked up:"Dad, I've needed you so often...I've always thought you wouldn't care for me!"
Dane glanced at him."I've never been the father you'd have deserved. But you've always meant something to me. If...if I could change the past, I would, believe me. The matter is: I can't change anything anymore, but I want you to know that I always wanted to protect you of guys like out there. I've only never thought of you and what you or your mother wanted. I'm sorry...god, this is becoming my new favourite word. No, serious, Jess, I never wanted you to get the feeling that you wouldn't matter anything to me. But...the time went by...and..look at yourself, I mean, you're an adult...
You know, I've never been great in admitting my mistakes and seeing you always reminds me of what a big fool I was because I've never been there for you. All I can do is just to ask you to forgive me.....I love you, son."
5.6
5.7 "I love you too, Dad", Jesse saw that his father was grappling with himself and somehow he had the feeling that this time he wasn't acting and it was long ago that he had had such a feeling the last time about his dad.
At this moment the door was opened. Dane and Jesse turned their heads and saw two men coming towards them. Dane stood up, Jesse tried as well, but didn't get on his feet. He realized how dizzy he felt. When his legs got weak he sunk down onto the floor again.
"Ok, what will I do with you two? Who wants to guess?"
Dane looked grimly at his former friend. "I know, what you'd better don't do: You can't let one of us survive, but if you kill both of us, you will never get through with that."
"That my problem, not your's!", Perry didn't seem to be very impressed, but Dane hadn't expected that, anyway. "And it doesn't look as I've got a choice: Do you know him?", with these words the other dark person, who had always stood as a shadow beside Perry, appeared
in the light."You know my son, Dane, don't you?"
Dane only needed a quick sight."Yeah, as far as I remember, was he the one who tried to kill me during my undercover job. I didn't know that this is your family buisness."
"You see, the circumstances are against you!" Perry came closer to Jesse who was sitting there movelessly. He knelt down in front of him and looked at him with condescending pity, no honest look, cool and false instead.
"You're Jesse, aren't you?" It was obvious that he didn't expect an answer. "You know, Jesse, your dad used to tell me lots of things about you, you must have been a very good son all the time. Your dad was always proud of you. Actually you don't deserve such a terrible end, having already had such as terrible parents."
The first time Jesse raised his head slowly and peered in the direction of the man who appeared to be Perry's son.
"At least my parents didn't force me to kill somebody", he hissed, watching the reactions carefully. Perry's son remained quiet, a nasty sneer on his face.
Perry himself chuckled and let out sigh. "How does it feel, hearing the two people meaning everything to you shouting at each other, crying out evil things as if the were the only human beings on earth? Yelling the other one's mistakes, hitting with the fists onto the table...Doesn't that make one feel angry, small, helpless...lost?"
Jesse winced with every word he spoke out. Perry had aimed well and hit him on his probably most sensitive nerve. Shouting, yelling, breaking cups became present in his mind again. Long forgotten...not forgotten, but got over, buried under a thick wall of humor and sarcasm. He had never cried, he knew he wouldn't even cry now, but he felt the stiffness and a shudder running down his spine.
"Shut up, only for once in your life, shut your God damn mouth!", growled Dane, not only thinking of his son, but of himself, he was definetly fed up with having feelings of guilt, though that was his own fault and knowing that bothered him even more.
"Anyway", Perry said still starring at Jesse, "I'll do you a little favor and kill you first. So it's over and you don't have see your Daddy die. Or if we turn the whole thing around, your Daddy will see you dying, that's only fair, I think. Thanks, Benny!", he took the gun his son Benny held out to him and insured it.
At that moment the door was kicked in and in the doorway was standing Steve, pointing a gun into the room, he needed some time for his eyes getting used to the darkness. Thomas and Benny were inattentive only for a few seconds, but that was enough for Dane to jump onto Perry and grab for the gun. Seeing the two of them struggling on the floor, Benny made an attempt to get out, but to his hard luck Steve was in his way. Beating Benny into the solar plexus Steve could overcome him easily.
Forcing Benny into the hands of another officer in order to have a hold on him, Steve ran over to where Dane and Perry were struggling for the gun. Normally he had shot right now, but knowing that Dane was one of the men fighting there, he worried that he could miss the right and accidently hurt the other one.
Having already pulled his gun out of the holster and wondering what to do next, Steve suddenly heard two shots ranging out followed by a quiet moment of shock. He took his chance to shove the one down from the second, obviously unconcussion man, as gently as he could because he still wasn't sure about who was who. Steve took the weapon which was laying on the floor now and looked over the moveless body. It was Dane.
Perry had recoginzed that it was useless to fight furtherly, he didn't offer resistance when Steve twisted his arms behind his back and put him handcuffs on.
Even in the dark and with blurred view Jesse could see his father's shirt coloring bloody red. Slowly he rose onto his feet, still shivering from the coldness and from Perry's last words, feeling also dizzy and sick, he somehow managed to clear his mind and concentrate, though. Seeing his father's chest covered with blood, didn't make it easier for him to stay calm, but the expierenced doctor in him won against the scared boy.
Jesse knelt down next to his Dad and felt for a pulse. And he found one, rather fast and weak, but at least there was one.
Being dragged away by Steve, Perry could stop beside Jesse for a short moment. "I really didn't want it going this way, boy, I really wanted your Daddy to see you dying, not the other way round. He'd have deserved that, you share my opinion, don't you? I'm truly sorry it hasn't worked."
Jesse shook his head. He thought for a moment if he should reply anything, but decided against it, Perry was the last person who was worth it to waste time with. His father needed him now and from one moment to another Jesse had forgotten all the anger, the pain and the indifference he had always felt in connection to his father.
"Call 911!!", Mark commanded when he rushed into the room, "and get some more light in here!"
Seconds later he and Amanda stood next to Jesse and Dane, Mark started working immediatly while Amanda touched Jesse's shoulder softly.
"Jess, stop that, you are not in the state that. Let Mark go on!"
"But..."
Jesse wanted to argue when he felt a slight sickness again. He got up and was guarded outside by Amanda. Later he couldn't remember when exactly he had passed out. It just happened.
8. Emotion
5.7.1.1.1 Community General Hospital, 3.00am
"How's Dane?", asked Jill, walking into the doctor lounge. She looked exhausted and tired, had deep lines under her eyes, but she felt better in here, near to her friends and family.
"He's just come out of the OR, he'll make it. The gun shot went directly into the chest, it's almost a miracle that it hasn't damaged any organs or even his spine", replied Mark. He was also not in the best condition, but knowing that his friends would be fine had lifted a heavy stone from his chest.
"What about Jess? Is he ok?", Steve had still the sight of his best friend, who had suddenly laid in front of his feet, in his mind. And he felt guilty because of not having Perry carried away fast enough. He knew he couldn't have done much for Dane, but he woud have liked to spare Jesse the words Perry had said at last. At least that. He hadn't managed to do so. Jesse had to bear everything, and Steve had seen the look in his friend blue eyes, calm and thoughtful, but inside it had scared the hell out of him, Steve was concerned about that.
"And so our puzzle is complete", Amanda tried to sort out some things, "Dane does his undercover job and gets almost killed by Benjamin Perry. Perry knows that Dane could identify him, so he decides make a second attempt, but this time his father, who has just been let out of prison agrees to help his son. They kidnapp Dane and more or less accidently Jesse because he was with his father at that time. They threat Jill, try to abduc her, too, but it doesn't work out as planned."
"Who was the guy who tried to kidnap me, anyway?"
"Perry's odd-job man, Baxton Mulder, hasn't cried out very loudly when God asked who wants to have some brain inside his head", Steve answered wryly. He took his mug, drank some coffee and sighed sleepy. When he saw his father getting up from his chair he enquired: "Where are you going, Dad?"
Mark was already halfly out of the door, but turned around again and said sensingly: "Oh, I only wanted to see if Jesse needs something."
The others nodded understandingly.
Mark knocked on the door of the hospital room, entered finally without having waited for an answer. He expected his friend in bed, still wearing a shirt and some light blue trousers, he wasn't really a patient, just someone who needed some peace.
Opening the door Mark spotted the bed empty. Maybe he was just to tired to get upset again, but an inner voice told him that he didn't have worry about his friend might had disappeared. Mark only sighed and went into the dark.
A figure sat on the floor at the other end of the room, he had leaned his back against the wall, had pulled the feet to his chest, the head rested on his knees.
"Jess", Mark started softly, "why are you sitting down there? That's kinda umcomfortable, don't you think?"
Jesse didn't reply, but Mark meant to recognize him shrugging his shoulders.
Mark bent down to his young friend and took seat next to him. A crack in his back reminded him that he was getting too old for those things. But if he had his friends on the one and his intervertebral discs on other hand, Mark would never have decided against his friends. Everybody knew that, that was the reason, why they all loved him so much, Jesse thought while sitting there and considering what had happened and how he should explain his behaviour to Mark.
"What's wrong, boy?", Mark knew it already, he just had the intention to make Jesse talk to him.
"Everything...", Jesse took a shuddered breath, trying to hold back his emotions. He looked up into Mark's kind, understanding eyes and realised that he could never lie at him, even though he wished he could.
"I've ever thought I could hate my father...", he started very carefully and watched the reaction. He had expected a horrorfied look, maybe a disparaging remark, but he earned nothing like that, only waiting, calm eyes which were peering at him.
"I mean...", he went on slowly, trying to arrange his mind. "He wasn't the greatest dad one can have, not even the second greatest and he always caused more problems than anything else. He was the reason for their divorce, he was the reason for my mom sitting in the kitchen, crying, he was the reason why I spent nights sitting in the wardrobe, asking myself what I had done wrong because nothing worked like it should." He made a break noticing rather surprisedly that it was the first time he revealed these things to someone else.
"If someone else hurt me so much, I'd refuse being in one room with him. And I've done that for a very long time when the subject came to my dad, has always worked, hasn't it?....But today when I saw him laying there...", he hesitated again, found it difficult to put into words what he was up to say. "He matters something to me, Mark, I can't help it, I wish it'd be so easy..." he fell silent, feeling slightly ridiculous.
Mark sighed and put one hand on his young friend's shoulder. He wanted to say something wise and knew there was nothing that would help. He remembered when he had seen his father the last time before he had disappeared under mysterical circumstances. It had taken ages until Mark found out that his father had been murdered.
Even after all those years there was still a small image of guilt in his mind, guilt because he had never made any attemps to search for his father, never made an attempt to forgive him.
"You know...", he shifted his legs to reduce the pain his back as well as possible and wondered what to say next, " as a parent you bungle hell a lot of things. But you can't just turn back the time and make it right again. And all you can hope is that your kids turn out to have the great life you always wanted them to have. To err is human, Jess, and parents are humans and maybe...some of them deserve a second chance."
Jesse nodded. He knew that these words were spoken with more than just advice and kindness, there was experience in them, something that couldn't be expressed with words, you could just get an idea of what was behind them, which hidden emotions, pains, regrets made Mark talking so thoughtfully and almost a bit ashamedly.
"That's not fair!", this had wandered through his mind only for a short while and shouldn't actually be spoken out.
"What's not fair?", asked Mark confusedly and frowning.
Jesse gave him a sheepish grin. "I always run to you if I have some problems as if the only thing you have to do is sitting there and advising me when I don't know what to do. You never tell me to shut up and to stop driving you nuts. I mean, you have other problems, too. I should be old enough to solve my problems on my own, don't you think?"
Mark shook his head. "No, Jess, that's rubbish! Let me tell you one thing: You are never old enough to deal with your problems on your own! Everyone deserves someone who listens to him. That's what friends are there for! And by the way...", his voice was now less strict, but soft and gentle, "I like you more telling me your problems than sitting in a wardrobe..."
Jesse chuckled. "Yeah, I've gotta admitt that mom's coat wasn't the best company." He didn't sound like he intended to, his voice was tear stifled and he couldn't control his emotions any more.
Mark, who was about to get onto his feet, decided that now wasn't the right time when he heard his friend sobbing quietly. He couldn't offer more support that to close Jesse into a long, big hug as the young man, shaken by the past events, shocked and overwhelmed by long buried feelings, finally burst into tears.
5.7.2
Saying Good-Bye
5.7.3
5.7.4 Two weeks later at the beach house
" Dane, I wanted to ask you something..."
Dane, who had been standing outside the Sloan's house on the deck, turned around and set down the coffe mug he'd been holding. He looked at the young woman who stood in front of him, her arms folded in front of her chest. He knew that she was up make him confess something, though he didn't know what, yet.
"What's the matter?", he asked as innocently as he could.
"Why did you come to me? Why not anybody else?"
"As I explained you...I'm semi-retired and..."
"Oh, c'mon, save this story for your granny. Tell me the truth!", she wasn't requesting, it was an order. Little brat, he thought and smiled wryly.
"Ok, you've got me. I guessed that someone from the CIA was behind all that. No one alse could have known that I wasn't really dead apart from some guys who worked there. But I could never have imagined that it was Perry. I thought he was in jail and had no connection to the CIA any more. I was wrong. He had people inside there who gave him all the information he wanted. When he found out that I was in the same gang his son was, he saw his chance for taking revenge. And then his son failed, I let me report dead and he decided to the job himself. No one can die two times....Anyway, I needed someone who was not involved and you were...just there..."
Reviewing the past months, Dane let out a shuddered breath. Angry about traitors the CIA had deal with now, he frowned.
"May I ask you something, too?", something was still bothering him, only a small detail, but...
"Sure...", she nodded readily.
"You didn't really recognize that the passport was a copy, did you?"
She glanced at him slightly amusedly and shrugged. "Nope, I didn't...but you've gotta admitt it was well-guessed..."
She held out one hand. "It was a pleasure to work with you!"
He smiled back and took her hand.
The sun was slowly setting and the ocean looked almost dark-red.
"It's a real pity that you can't join us for dinner", Mark said coming from inside, "Steve's cooking and..."
"Then it isn't a pity, at least not for Dane...", Jill interrupted her uncle, chuckling a little.
Dane laughed. "I'm also sorry, Mark, but my my plane departures in about one and a half hour and I should start saying good bye. Mark, I wanted to thank you, my son owes you a lot and so I do. Thank you for being a friend."
Mark grinned: "No problem, Dane. Good bye and don't let pass to much time 'till you show up again."
Dane nodded. "I should go inside and tell the rest of you good bye. Jesse is gonna take me to airport."
10. This Time Not For Good
5.7.4.1.1 LA airport
Dane put down his suitcase and scrutizised the young man in front of him. He hadn't changed much. The same big, blue, innocent eyes, the same tousled blonde hair, the same bright grin. His son looked like the little boy Dane had loved so much. Dane sighed. Maybe he was just getting old.
"So here we are...", he began sheepishly.
"Yeah...", Jesse replied, also not knowing what to say. "So....I will see more of you than a post card in the future?"
Dane chuckled, knowing what his son meant. "I'm running out of stamps. I think, next time I'll have to show up in person if you don't mind."
"Not at all..."
" See ya, Jess, soon, I promise!"
"Dad, you don't have to make promises you can't..."
"Not this time, Jesse. Life is to short to make promises one one can't keep, don't you think?"
Smiling at each other, they knew what the other one was thinking. And for the first time in both of their lifes they had the feeling that rift between them had gone and been replaced by a bridge.
Jesse suddenly said:"Dad, I wanted to ask you for something..."
"Yeah..."
"Do me a favour and never call me Ronald again! I hate this name..."
Dane grinned understandingly."Hey, you know how stubborn you mother can be...to give you a second name wasn't my idea!"
Both men chuckled and hugged each other.
"Bye son, watch out after yourself!"
"After the last weeks, I think, you could use this advise better than I!", Jesse replied dryly.
"At least, I don't drink twenty mugs of coffee per day!", Dane shot back.
"Hey, who's the doctor?", Jesse teased him a bit, then said: "Bye dad! I'm happy to....to have you back."
"Same with you, son! Bye!"
Dane waved a last time before he disappeared in a crowd of people who josteled through the big doors, rushing to the gate.
Jesse watched the doors closing behind them and was still in thoughts when his cellphone rang. Actually not in the mood of going to the hospital and doing an emergency operation he answered reluctantly.
"Yeah?"
"Hey, Jess, it's Steve!"
Jesse sighed happily, almost in relief. "What's up?"
"Your dinner is gettin' cold!"
"Will be home in about twenty minutes, pookie", Jesse made fun of his friend and could almost see him looking unnerved at the other end of the line.
"Hey, we have no problems to eat your portion, too!"
"I'm on my way!" Jesse switched his phone off and run to the exit of the airport. He nearly jumped into his car and turned the engine on. Driving fast, he hummed with the radio. His friends were great. Life was great. Even when Steve was cooking.
The End