It would take way too long to explain the series of conversations FantasyFiend09 and I had that led to this particular piece of crack. Suffice it to say that it started with Nate smelling like elderberries and went downhill from there. Right now she's probably regretting planting this particular plot-bunny in my brain.

The bang of the front door slamming shut caused Nate to look up from his paperwork. "Fuck, Anders, how many times do I have to tell you not to slam the door?"

The handsome blond doctor flashed him a cheeky grin as he tossed his knapsack onto the dining room table. "At least another few dozen times, I'd wager." He walked over to Nate's desk and perched on the edge of it, dislodging some of the papers that had been spread out. "Hello to you, too." His voice was lower now, inviting, as he leaned in for a kiss.

Nate dodged Anders' questing lips and stood up. He gathered up the crumpled papers now strewn about the desk and tried to smooth them out. "I'm trying to work here, Anders. I have to have this report on the Captain's desk by Monday morning."

Anders pouted as he stood up. "This is Friday. And you promised it would be just us tonight—no distractions. And that includes work." He snatched the papers out of Nate's hands and set them down on the desktop.

"It's just you and me tonight," he said as he wrapped his arms around Nate's waist. "I rented a couple movies; we can have dinner and then cuddle up on the couch…." He smiled as he leaned in for his overdue kiss.

Nate relented, pulling Anders close against him as his lips parted to let Anders' warm tongue slide into his mouth. Anders ran one hand through Nate's silky black hair as he explored Nate's mouth with his tongue. Long moments later they finally parted, both men gasping for air.

"We hardly ever have a night together, anymore," Anders murmured, nuzzling Nate's cheek. "You owe me."

Nate sighed quietly as he held Anders close. "Being a cop isn't a nine-to-five job, Anders. I can't always leave my work at work."

"You can tonight," Anders said firmly.

Nate nodded. "Alright. Just for you." His lips twitched into a smile.

"Great!" Anders beamed at him. "I'll order dinner." He grabbed the cordless phone off the desk. "Pizza or Chinese?"

"Neither," Nate responded with a grimace. "That stuff is terrible for you."

"Pizza it is then!" Anders punched in the speed dial for the pizza place that was just down the street.

"Anders…" Nate sighed wearily.

Anders made a face at him as he waited for someone to pick up. "It's the weekend; I don't want to hear that whole 'your body is a temple' speech. Your body can be a garbage dump for one night."

The line finally connects. "Hello? Yeah, I need an order for delivery." He covered the phone. "What do you want on your pizza?" he asked Nate.

Nate gave in with an exasperated sigh. "Vegetarian."

Anders rolled his eyes as he spoke back into the receiver. "Right, so we'll have two large pizzas—one Super Supreme with extra cheese and pepperoni…and one vegetarian." He said the word as if it was distasteful to him. "Oh, and a large order of buffalo wings!"

"No buffalo wings," Nate protested, but Anders ignored him as usual.

Order completed, Anders hung up the phone. "I'm going to go take a quick shower." He gave Nate a light kiss before pulling away and heading off to the bedroom.

Nate immediately turned back to his paperwork, but was stopped by Anders' voice calling out from the bedroom. "No working!"

Nate scowled. "Fine!" he hollered back. He went into the kitchen instead, cleaning up the mess Anders had made that morning when he'd cooked breakfast. Once the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher he returned to the living room, and noticed Anders' knapsack sitting on the dining room table.

Ignoring his irritation at Anders' usual sloppiness he grabbed the knapsack and put it on the hook near the door, pulling out the bag from the movie rental place as he did so. He shook his head when he saw what his lover had rented: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, no surprise there—it was Anders' favorite movie, and Nate was sure they'd watched it together at least fifty times.

Next up was Sister Act 2 and Turner & Hooch. He loved Anders, he really did. But sometimes he wondered about the man's taste in movies. Last out of the bag was….

"Thelma and Louise? Really?"

"I love that movie—very romantic." Anders was grinning at him when Nate turned around to look at him.

Nate raised an eyebrow. "Romantic? They drove off the edge of a bloody cliff."

"Well, yeah, they were trying to escape from the cops. So they could be together forever." He sighed theatrically as he pulled his wet hair into a ponytail. "Ah, love."

Nate shook his head in amusement. "Sometimes you worry me."

Anders grinned at him. "But you still love me."

"Mmm…sometimes." Nate curled an arm around Anders' waist and pulled him close.

"Sometimes?" Anders put on his best pout-face, which he knew Nate secretly loved, but would never admit.

Nate smirked at him. "Alright, most of the time," he conceded. Anders had changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants after his shower; Nate slipped his hands under the elastic waistband of the sweats and gripped Anders' bare ass. He chuckled quietly when Anders gasped.

"Evil man," Anders pouts before kissing Nate hungrily. They were interrupted by the sound of knocking on their front door. "Pizza!" Ander grinned as he opened to door to a pizza boy that was more attractive than Nate was comfortable with. He was convinced Anders always picked that pizza place because of how good-looking their employees were.

Anders looked over at his lover sheepishly. "Uh, have you got any cash?"

Nate rolled his eyes as he pulled out his wallet. "You're the one that wanted this crap, and now you want me to pay for it." He ignored the pizza boy's surly look as he shoved the money into his hand and took the proffered boxes. He chose not to comment on the wink Anders gave the guy before closing the door.

"You make more money than me," Anders explained practically.

Nate snorted. "Fast food workers make more money than you, Anders."

"Hey!" Anders protested as he set the pizza boxes on the kitchen counter. "It's not always about making money, you know—the Clinic's important."

"I know it is," Nate relented. "I was only teasing you."

Anders looked slightly mollified as he grabbed a couple of plates from the cabinets. Nate opened the container of buffalo wings and wrinkled his nose. "That's disgusting," he muttered.

A hand reached over his shoulder and snagged one of the wings. "Delicious, not disgusting. You're using the wrong word." He looked up to see Anders biting into the wing with relish.

"Those things are full of nitrates and preservatives," Nate complained. "The meat's probably processed too." He picked up one of the wings and looked distastefully at the sauce dripping from it. "Not to mention a whole lot of yellow dye number two—this color doesn't even exist in nature."

Anders rolled his eyes at his lover. "Nate, they're buffalo wings. The name's kind of a dead giveaway that these things aren't natural. They're not supposed to be." He grabbed the container from Nate and carried it and his pizza-laden plate into the living room.

Nate tossed a couple of pieces of the vegetarian pizza onto his own plate and followed Anders out of the kitchen. "Not on the couch," he warned his lover.

Anders looked over his shoulder as he sat down on the couch facing the big-screen television. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want pizza sauce all over the couch, that's why." Nate sat down at the nearby dining room table.

Anders stuck out his tongue at him. "I swear, you never let me have any fun."

Nate hid a smile as Anders got up and joined him at the table. "Yes, I'm a terrible person."

"So," Anders managed, between mouthfuls of food, "what movie do you want to watch first?"

Ignoring the grease, Nate bit into one of his own slices of pizza. "Actually, there's a documentary on tonight that I wanted to catch." He looked up to see Anders staring at him, his mouth hanging open. "What?" He checked his chin to see if there was any sauce on it.

"You want to watch a documentary on Friday night?" Anders smirked. "God, you're so wild! Maybe later we can break out the schnapps and prune juice."

Nate flushed. He was perfectly aware of the fact that he wasn't as exciting as his lover—he couldn't help it. He still didn't understand why Anders wanted to be with someone as boring as him. "Fine. Whatever you want to watch then."

Anders' expression softened. He wiped a hand on his napkin and reached across the table to stroke Nate's cheek. "I'm just teasing you, love. We can watch your documentary." He flashed Nate an affectionate smile before winking slyly. "And then we can watch Monty Python!"

Nate suppressed a groan. Relationships were about compromise, right? He had to remind himself of that quite a bit when he was with Anders. But he would be the first to admit that it was worth it. For Anders, it was worth it. He grasped his lover's stroking hand and kissed the palm briefly before letting it go.

"So long as it's not Thelma and Louise," he grumbled, but he was smiling.

Anders laughed good-naturedly. "Alright, alright. I just got it to annoy you, anyway."

"There's a surprise." Nate grinned at him. He picked up both of their empty plates and took them into the kitchen. When he came back into the living room, Anders was sprawled out on the couch, the remote control in his hand.

"What channel is your show on?" Anders asked, obligingly moving his legs when Nate looked at him pointedly.

Nate sat down in the vacated space. "Thirty-seven, I think."

Anders tuned the television to the correct channel and then tossed the remote onto the coffee table. Nate relaxed back into the cushions, one arm stretched along the back of the couch. Anders curled up next to him, his head on Nate's shoulder and one hand resting on his chest. Nate smiled as he curled his arm around Anders' shoulders.

"What are we watching, anyway?" Anders asked as he settled against Nate's chest.

"I told you, it's a documentary. It's about the animals of the African safari." He could just hear Anders roll his eyes, but his lover thankfully kept silent.

They'd been watching the show for about thirty minutes when he felt a hand slip underneath his shirt and slide slowly up his chest. The sensation was accompanied by soft nips at his neck. "Anders," he practically groaned, "what are you doing?"

He felt Anders' chuckle against his skin as his hand continued rubbing his chest. "Seducing you." Nate gasped as Anders pinched one of his nipples. "This program's making me kind of hot."

Nate stared at the television in confusion, Anders' ministrations making it hard to think. "How can this possibly make you hot?"

Anders pulled away and smirked at his lover. "Are you watching the same show I am? We've seen almost every animal in the wild kingdom fucking."

Nate just stared at his lover. "You cannot seriously tell me you're getting turned on by a National Geographic documentary." He gasped when Anders cupped his length and squeezed gently.

"C'mon, Nate," Anders whispered into his ear. "I'll let you be the king of my jungle." And with that, he slid onto his knees, positioning himself between Nate's legs. He deftly snapped open the button on Nate's jeans and tugged on the zipper.

"Anders…" Nate's protest was cut off with a groan when Anders wrapped his hand around Nate's growing erection.

"Hush, lover," Anders chuckled as he leaned in close, "let me show you where the wild things are."

"Your…jokes," Nate panted, slightly distracted by the feeling of Anders' tongue running along his length, "are almost…worse than…your taste in movies." He groaned again, louder.

Anders made no reply, instead wrapping his lips around the tip of Nate's cock and sucking. Nate's hips jerked involuntarily and Anders glared up at him. He placed his hands on Nate's hips as he slowly slid his mouth down his cock, his tongue gliding along the smooth skin. Nate tipped his head backward so it was resting against the back of the couch. God, Anders was talented at this!

"Fuck, Anders," Nate groaned. He ran his hand into his lover's hair, tugging at the elastic band that held his ponytail in place. Once it was off, he ran his hands through the still-damp tresses, his grip tightening as Anders quickened his pace. He knew he was done for when Anders started moaning. The vibrations shot through his length like lightning bolts. Soon he was crying out as he shot his seed down his lover's throat.

He sat there, gasping, as Anders licked the last of his come from his softening length. When Anders was done, he crawled back onto Nate's lap. He was grinning like the cat that ate the canary, obviously pleased with his performance. Nate grinned back as he wrapped his arms around the other man's waist and pulled him in for a deep kiss. When they finally broke from the kiss long moments later, Anders was grinning at him again.

"You have to admit that was better than any documentary could ever be."

Nate chuckled at that. "Absolutely."

Anders leaned in and rested his head on Nate's shoulder, nuzzling against his neck. "So…" he murmured as he kissed Nate's skin softly, "can we watch Monty Python now?"

Nate smiled to himself as he ran his hands down to Anders' ass and squeezed, causing the other man to gasp. "I thought you wanted me to be 'king of your jungle'."

He could feel Anders' chest rumble as he laughed. "Are you going to mount me?"

Nate was outright laughing now. "How about I take you on a safari?"

Anders picked his head up and kissed his lover again, nipping lightly at Nate's lower lip. "I am so down for that."

Nate kissed him back, hungrily before pulling away. "Not on the couch, though."

Anders rolled his eyes. "You and the damned couch." But he was smiling as he stood up and held his hand out to Nate, pulling him to his feet.

"We have a perfectly good bed," Nate tried to scowl at him, but he couldn't hide his smile.

"Come on, Jungle Boy," Anders laughed, as he pulled Nate into their bedroom, "let me see your wild side."

Nate laughed as he moved to shut the door behind them. "You really need to work on your jokes." As he pushed his lover onto the bed and began to ravish him, he made a mental note to check next week's television schedule.