A/N: Just for the purpose of the fic, Marinette understands english. (Which I think she does anyway, if Miraculous Adventures is anything to go off). Also, this fic predominantly features a song that is best listened to along with reading the fic, Close to Me by The Cure.
I face planted into my bed. I was sooo tired after tonight I'm surprised my eyelids didn't VITO me. Despite his small size that Akuma had been a difficult one but that party had been even worse. That dance... Before my eyes could reach a majority agreement however, my brain reminded them that Alya had texted me. I dug around in my bag, feeling my keys, money, Tiki (Who squealed a small "Hey" before flying out) and… there it is! I pulled out my phone to check my messages.
"Hey girl!" It read. "Nino taught me the basics of making a mix at the party and I made this. Given that he didn't tear off his headphones, it's probably not that bad!" This was followed by a link to presumably the playlist she'd made. Yeah, I could listen to it before I fell asleep. I tapped the link and it opened in my music app, giving me look at the list of songs. Deciding to let it surprise me, I didn't look and just hit play, laying back with my earphones in. I recognised the slow Spanish guitar instantly. Alya! She knew I wouldn't be able to handle this song right now, not after I'd just danced with Adrien to it, even if it was my favourite song. My finger flew to the fast forward button, leaping into something unfamiliar. The screen read 'Close to Me' by a band called 'The Cure'. I'd never heard of them.
I was immediately hit by the claustrophobic noise of the song, the opening effect of a door creaking shut combined with the use of body percussion and shallow, fast breathing made me feel shut in, almost scared if I'm honest (Alya told me later that Nino had shown her the music video and I should be glad I wasn't watching that). About 30 seconds in however, I was soothed by the calm, nearly hypnotic keyboard. This wasn't to last, not once the lyrics came on.
"I've waited hours for this. Made myself so sick- I wish I'd stayed… Asleep today." It felt ok at first, mildly resonating with the stress of the party but not enough to hurt. However, the next lyrics hit me like a ton of bricks.
"I never thought that this day would end. I never thought tonight could ever be this close to me" Oh no. I knew what that line meant. Images and feelings rushed into my head, the closeup of Adrien's face when we danced, the feel of his hands, the striation of his iris, but also the nervousness and the pounding of my heart. Despite me wanting to, I couldn't tear my earbuds out. I felt the same need to continue despite my pain as I did back then, with him. The controlled chaos of the beat was almost hypnotic.
I slowly became lost in the contradictory complementary rhythms. The song lost any tangible meaning, it became raw unbridled emotion. The singer's voice sounded exasperated, but never out of breath. The instrumentals clashed, but never fought. Somehow it resonated a chord within me, something that brought to mind the knife-sharp details of a blonde-haired, green-eyed face to my mind's eye. It called to her mind the futility of my actions. "Just trying to see in the dark. Just trying to make it work."
I thought about how I felt when he was near me, when I knew he would be near me. "I make the shapes come much too close. I pull my eyes out. hold my breath and wait until I shake." For a moment, the fear nearly overcame me. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle him.
"But if I had your faith, then I could make it safe and clean. If only I was sure that my head on the door was a dream." My mind drifted to what would happen if… if… the unthinkable happened. If we were together. That joy, that potential for joy, pulled at my heart. Was this what the song was meant to do?
My previous feelings were rendered moot as the descending saxophone cut in. I felt like I was falling with its notes, into a pit of chaos and emotion. As the song reiterated its first verse and brought back those feelings of longing, I zoned out, staring into nothingness. By the time it had ended I had forgot it had ever started. I was too tired, now emotionally as well as physically, to keep listening so I took off my headphones and rolled over, shaking my fist at my phone. Alya…
A/N: Whoo that was trickier than I had honestly expected. I'm a big Cure fan if you can't tell, and this just clicked in my head for their dance. About halfway through I reckon, the fic took a life of its own, about the same time that I really got into Marinette's head (At least I think so). That's why I write first person, it's trickier but it gives a whole extra level of depth you can get to. Not gonna go into too much detail about my writing process here, but I will say that I will be making more of these. I've already got a few songs picked out, but if you have any suggestions or requests just leave them in a review. I'll get round to them eventually. Probably. Maybe. And now, if you'll excuse me, my eyes are gonna die. (Why do I always write fanfic at midnight?)
