The Training Session from Hell

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor

Summary: Kakashi and the other senseis hire a group of tutors to take over training for a week. The genin are in for a long, long week… CROSSOVER.
Author's Note: I saw Madagascar 2. That should be enough of an explanation.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Madagascar. They belong respectively to Masashi Kishimoto and Dreamworks Pictures. I think you can discern which.

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Day 1, Lesson 1: Penguins CAN Hurt You

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"Tell us!"

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Come on!"

"No."

"Give us a break!"

"Nope."

"Naruto," Neji cut off the blonde as he opened his mouth again. "He's not going to tell you. Save us all the irritation and just wait quietly."

The eleven genin (And one chuunin) of Teams Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma and Gai were, at six AM sharp, standing in the training field in various states of fatigue, awaiting the arrival of their temporary instructors for the week.

No one told them anything. Their real instructors seemed oddly delighted at the idea of these new teachers, but refused to give any slight indication as to who they were. Just the fact that they wouldn't share any information with their students was enough of a warning to suggest something really bad was about to happen.

But for the time, they waited in silence and tension.

Suddenly-

"Well! Looks like they're here! We'd better get going." Kakashi said cheerfully before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Have fun!" Kurenai chirped before disappearing as well.

"Don't insult them, if you know what's good for you!" Asuma snickered before poofing off.

"Enjoy your youthful tutors!"

"YES, GAI-SENSEI!"

"Lee! Too early for yelling!" Tenten snapped.

All of the senseis were gone.

Gone.

But then, just then, a voice rang out.

"TEN-HUT!"

The ninja snapped to attention, surprised.

"What? Who's there?" Naruto's head whipped around. Akamaru, placed atop Kiba's head, barked uneasily, unable to pinpoint where the voice was coming from.

"It is us! Your instructors for the remainder of this week!" The disembodied voice spoke. "It is we who shall fill in for your teachers, teaching you the subtle arts of the ninja! Beware, for our training is fraught with peril!"

…A penguin.

A cute, round little penguin with wide, sweet eyes smiled up at them.

Everyone stared.

"… What's with the penguin?" Shikamaru muttered.

"This penguin is Private, kids! He's a member of our team. Sound off, boys!"

And then, to the further shock of the ninja children (Some of them were starting to wonder if their senseis had slipped a controlled substance into their breakfasts), the little penguin opened his mouth and spoke in a cheery, English-accented voice.

"Private! Reporting for duty!" He waved a friendly flipper at them as they gaped.

"He can talk?" Tenten whispered. And then, from behind a tree, another penguin popped out. This one was taller, and his voice was far deeper than Private's.

"Lieutenant Kowalski! Reporting for duty!"

WHAM.

"RICO! KA-BOOM!" Now, if Rico had popped out from behind a rock or tree, the ninja might have been fine.

But no.

Rico had fallen from the sky.

Well, technically, it was a tree-top.

And if that wasn't enough, he was holding a stick of dynamite, whose fuse was already burned to the near end.

"HIT THE DECK!"

"No need!"

A fourth penguin seemed to appear from nowhere, a suave look on his face. He'd sauntered up to Rico (Who'd been immediately dubbed as 'The Insane One') and crushed the lit fuse with his flipper just as easily as a human might pinch a candle flame to put it out. This penguin was immediately pinned as the one who'd spoken first.

"And I'm Skipper, Captain of this squad." He flashed them a charming… Beaky smile, and began to pace back a forth down the line of students as he spoke. "We humble penguins come to you from New York, via Madagascar via Africa via Madagascar. Welcome to our training program!"

… Silence.

"Penguins? How they hell are you supposed to help us with training?"

Skipper froze in his tracks, then wheeled his small, feathery body about to face Naruto.

"You! The blonde child with the big mouth and kitty-whiskers; Come here!"

"The big mouth and the what?!"

"You heard me! Front and center, soldier!"

Naruto stared at him for a moment, but then reluctantly stepped forward so he was directly in front of Skipper.

"Bend down!" Again, a moment of staring. Then, with even more hesitant reluctance, Naruto bent down. Without another word, Skipper seized Naruto by his 'kitty-whiskers' and-

WHAM.

WHAM, WHAM, WHAM.

Sakura groaned. Sasuke slapped a hand over his eyes. Naruto had done plenty of things to embarrass them before, but he'd never had his ass handed to him by a penguin not even a third of his height before.

This was going to be a long week.