Hi y'all!
This is my first foray into the Thor fandom! Possibly only, if it goes badly... But I've been reading masses of Thor and Avengers fan fiction (just check out my favourites lists) and my favourite pairing is Tasertricks. Well, Lokane too.
But Tasertricks is so much fun!
I've been inspired by some awesome stories, a particular AU favourite is 'They Say Fortune is a Wheel' by LuvaGoodMrE - I love it! Read it, if you haven't yet. My story is just a pale, pasty imitation...
The title of this strange little rom-com AU Tasertricks comes from one of my favourite Split Enz songs. There's a couple versions now, sung by Neil Finn and Eddie Vedder, and also Missy Higgins, but the best is the original sung by Tim Finn (in my humble opinion).
I'm happy to take any sort of criticism, honestly. Hit me with it! I'm still quite new to this whole writing caper and found that my one other multi-chapter fanfic improved greatly with the reviews I received.
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. None at all. Thank you.
So, without further ado: FICTION.
Stuff & Nonsense - Chapter One
"How did he know AGAIN?" Roared the CEO of Asgard Technology and Security. Reactions to Thor Odinson Asgard's temper ranged from a concerned look from his fiancée Jane Foster, to a lifting of an eyebrow from Sif Sylvan, his second in charge.
Darcy Lewis herself, she nearly dropped her Starktab and posted something she probably shouldn't have posted. "Not good," she muttered, frantically swiping her fingers over the screen to save her online reputation. And possibly her boss's. And her boss's boss. Did she mention not good?
"Not at all," her boss, Jane, agreed softly, still watching Thor pace furiously around his huge Oak desk. Darcy shouldn't have even been in the CEO's office, but for her habit of following Jane around like a shadow, picking things up after the extremely focused, but slightly absentminded, scientist. That's how she ended up telling the world about the correlation between working for a scientist in a huge corporation, and being a politician's gofer.
With a picture of a cat.
Oopsy daisy.
"Thor," Sif interjected the big man's tirade, "We're working on finding the leak. Volstagg has the best in the IT department on it." Her voice radiated calm, deep and soothing. Darcy loved it. A girl-crush may be involved.
"Volstagg has had months to try find the leak," Thor growled. "Is he really no closer to finding out what's going on?" The anger was already draining out of him. Thor, unlike the typical business person, was normally cheerful and trusting. It was hard seeing him like this. Jane then approached him, and he slung an arm over her small frame, almost taking support from her despite their dramatic differences in size.
"Is there anything else we can do to find the leak?" Jane asked, turning to both Sif and Thor. "Could it be a former employee?" Thor shrugged helplessly. "Could it be Loki?"
The second in charge scowled at the mention of Thor's erstwhile younger brother and Thor, predictably, leapt to his defence. "Loki wouldn't do that; no, someone must be feeding him information and he's... just-"
"Milking it for all it's worth?" Sif suggested bitterly. "Look, Thor. This is the third time information about our security system prototypes have made it into Loki's hands. Either it's someone on the inside here, or someone with the know-how at Jotunn Secure. You have to face the possibility that your little brother is neck-deep in illegal business practices. It wouldn't be the first time."
Darcy sat up at that. Of course, how could she forget? Loki revealed himself as the legendary hacker j0tunn only two years ago. For five years he had every government on the planet scrambling to hide all their misdeeds as he dangled the fact that he could reveal them whenever he wanted over their heads. That's why his company was kicking Asgard into the ground. Oh, well, and the whole leak thing.
Maybe, with Volstagg doing his thing at Asgard, someone could infiltrate Jotunn and work their systems from the inside. A smile began to stretch her lips. That would be so awesome! An undercover agent in the midst of the enemy, searching out their dirty little secrets.
Darcy must have made a noise in her silent enthusiasm and Sif turned to her, seeming only to notice her then. Sigh, crushes are so hard. "Maybe it's best that we continue this discussion, Thor, with the board?"
Jane stepped away from the big guy, noting the hard tone in Sif's suggestion. With a tightness to her jaw, she turned to Darcy and said, "Of course, we'll get going now."
Ushering her assistant out of the office, Jane slammed the door behind them, barely noticing the faint farewell from her fiancé. "Sometimes-" she began, glaring at the door as if it just told a really bad 'yo mama' joke, "Sometimes, I think that woman hates me." Then she turned on her heel with a flick of her soft brunette ponytail and began making her way back to her lab.
Darcy pattered after her, not quite as graceful in her pencil skirt and heels. "Hey, Jane?"
"Yes?" Her boss replied in a tired voice.
"I was thinking, like, maybe if we had someone inside Jotunn, you know, working it from that side..."
Jane slowed and glanced back at her assistant. "I suppose that could work." They reached the elevators and Darcy reached past Jane to lean on the 'down' arrow. "Do you have someone in mind?"
Darcy began to grin broadly. Her boss, as is her M.O., failed to notice the signals her assistant was projecting. They were already on their way down to floor ten when Jane woke up to the fact Darcy was now literally hopping up and down with excitement. The scientist's eyes widened.
"You, Darcy?" Jane looked gobsmacked at the idea.
"Yeah, me. Why not me?" Darcy stopped hopping and injected a touch of offense in her tone.
"I - ah, well, how do I put this nicely, Darce," Jane's delicate brows furrowed together. "You make being brutally honest an art."
"Hey!" Darcy drawled, smile growing again. "That was nice."
"But it's not a quality desirable for a spy, even just a company one."
Darcy, still glowing from the 'compliment', leaned over and patted Jane's hand. "Don't you worry, Boss Lady, I'll find out who's trying to ruin your stud-muffin's business."
Jane just rolled her eyes. The Starktab in the leather bag she had slung over her shoulder then binged once. Then again. Then twice more.
"What the-" Jane muttered, pulling out the device. "Huh. Why is everyone congratulating me on going viral?" Darcy's stomach dropped.
The elevator doors slid open as she said loudly, "Oh, is that the time? I must tally-ho!"
Jane, looking even more confused, could only watch as her assistant looked dramatically at her bare wrist and then glided out of the elevator.
Darcy Lewis' life needed a bit of spicing up. A lot of spicing up, actually. She had accepted the job as Jane's personal assistant a little over four months ago with the assurance that actual science-y stuff would be kept to a minimum, unlike her internship in New Mexico at the tail end of her degree a year and a half ago. Darcy was the first person Jane thought of when she was told she needed an assistant in her new position at Asgard Technology and Security as the Co-Head of the Research and Development Division with her former mentor Erik Selvig.
Darcy thought it was just hilarious that the girl whose mother despaired of ever seeing her bedroom floor again was now one of the most organised people in Asgard. But she was happy enough to leave the world of perpetual-retail-employment-while-waiting-for-her-political-break for a well-paid PA position. For now, anyway. But she hadn't made as many friends as she would have liked since moving to New York and there was only so many times Jane would allow herself to be dragged away from her precious science for a night out on the town.
The thought of going undercover in Jotunn Secure made her want to do her happy dance. And maybe she did do her happy dance, judging from the looks she was receiving from the other R&D Division employees. Whatever. They'd be excited too.
Darcy slid into the seat opposite Jane's desk the next morning after handing her boss her first caffeine beverage of the (work) day. "I have my in, Jane."
"You're what?" She replied vaguely, staring into her laptop.
"How I'm going to get into Jotunn!" Jane looked up with a slightly confused look.
"Huh?"
Darcy rolled her eyes. How could she not have been thinking about this for the last twenty four hours? Darcy certainly had been.
"To find the leak, dude! There's a couple of PR jobs going at Jotunn. With my political know-how and stunning good looks, I'll be in with a grin. And then all secrets will be revealed-" she paused. For dramatic effect. "-to me."
Jane's expression ranged between concern and trying not to smile. "You think you can do this?" She leaned forward with a sweep of her brown eyes over the room and whispered, "I haven't told Thor. I don't think he'd like it."
Darcy snorted. "More like Sif wouldn't like it, huh?"
Jane's nose screwed up at that. "Yeah. More like." She became excited. "Hey, I know! I'll talk to Tony - he can whip up some IDs and a resume in no time. He's fooled Volstagg with his forgeries." She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms smugly.
"Tony? As in, Stark?" Darcy's eyes bugged out as Jane nodded. "As in, I can finally meet him? Ohmigoshomigoshohmigosh-"
"Stop fangirling, woman! Have some dignity," her boss laughed.
"Dude."
"Dude."
"DUDE!"
"Hmm?" Tony Stark's dark eyes lazily lifted from chest level to Darcy's exasperated blue ones.
"Eyes up here, dude." She helpfully pointed to them with the two fingers of her right hand.
"Those are..." He did some pointing of his own, "...magnificent." Darcy smirked.
"Yeah, I know."
Any further discussion of her assets was put on hold as Jane rushed over to greet Tony with a friendly hug. This was the second time Darcy had met with the self-proclaimed (but pretty accurately described) genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and after only three days, he had everything Darcy needed to go undercover at Jotunn Secure.
Jane closed the door behind them as they entered her and Darcy's shared office. "So great of you to-" her boss started.
"Show me the shit, Stark!" Darcy whirled on the billionaire, face lit up with excitement.
"Your wish," he pulled a plastic folder out of his leather messenger bag, "My command."
"You, sir, are awesome," she breathed as she pulled out a flawless faux drivers license.
Tony rolled his eyes. "I know this, sweetheart. But thanks for confirming. Anyway, there's more."
"Really?" Jane and Darcy gasp in unison, looking up from 'Dana Lawson's' impressive resume. He grinned as he then whipped out his Starktab and opened up Facebook.
Darcy squealed. "I have a fake Facebook?!"
"And Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr. With a full history on all accounts. Dana Lawson will not be virtually fucked with."
Darcy couldn't form any words. This man was a genius! Well, he mentioned it a few times in passing, but now he's proved it. The genius himself was now enjoying the view she was giving him of her super happy dance. "Wait." She froze.
"Dana Lawson? Lawson? What about Scully?"
Jane snorted out a laugh. "Whatever, Darcy. You cannot waltz into Jotunn with a name like Dana Scully."
"Aww, but mom-" insert extra whine and pout here.
Tony interrupted at that point. "Sweetheart, you're stuck with Lawson. There is no way I'm doing this all again because you think the truth is out there."
"You guys suck."