Shadow's Assassin: Yeah…I'm trying my hand at Soujiro angst…stuff… It's not very good, or incredibly original, but please no flames. They aren't nice. They are damaging to my frail self-esteem. I like to talk in short, choppy sentences.

No, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. If you sue me, you'll only get my geometry homework.

* ~ * ~ * Frozen Smiles * ~ * ~ *

If you are strong you live, if you are weak you die. That is the only truth. Or is it? I thought it was. I knew there was no truer truth than those simple words. The strong live, and the weak die. Morals are weak. Emotions are weak. And yet…

            He said I had no emotions, and that I was strong. But it wasn't true. I was strong, but what is strength, really? I denied my emotions. I bottled them up deep inside and hid behind my frozen smile. But walls crack, barriers fall, and you can only hide for so long.

A sword is meant to kill. A sword has no other purpose other than death. It is wrong to use a sword to help the weak. They would just die anyway, because the strong live and the weak die. I knew.

I smiled. I smiled to hide the hurt, the pain. I learned early on that the smile unnerved them, made them leave me alone. And I continued to smile, after they were dead. It was a mask. Smiling did not mean I was happy. But I was sure. I knew. I had to become strong, so I would live.

But he said it wasn't right. He said to help the weak. Himura-san. He said to find your own truth. Can the truth be different for every man?

It is raining, now. Just like it was then. When I killed them. My family. They were weak, and I was strong. Before, they would have killed me, because they were stronger. No one helped me then.

            "Are you crying?" he asked me.

            "No," I replied, and I smiled. But I lied.

            I didn't understand then why they hated me, why they beat me, why they treated me the way they did. But now I do. They beat me because I was weaker, because they could. It was no fault of mine, though I did not know it back then. They were strong, and I was weak.

            Now I'm on my own, wandering to find my own truth, like Himura-san said. Maybe I will never find it. Maybe the blood will never wash off my hands. But I will go. There is nothing for me to leave behind.

            I stop to talk to a stranger on the road. I am still smiling. It never changes.

            "Who are you?"

            "A wanderer, Seta Soujiro." I suppose that is who I am.

            "You don't have a home?"

            "Iie…" I smile. It does not reach my eyes, I know.

            They look away, and pretend not to notice the chill from my smile, which is frozen still. Perhaps there is no truth. Perhaps there is only life, and only death. But Himura-san said to find my own truth, and so I will. 

            I was called The Tenken, master of the Shukuchi, member of the Juppongatana. Now I am simply Seta Soujiro, the Wanderer, looking for my own truth, and nothing more.

            The strong live, and the weak die. I do not know if this is true. I used to know. Perhaps sometimes, the weak live while the strong die. And maybe there are different strengths. Perhaps a person may be strong and weak at the same time.

Maybe I lied to myself. Maybe I hid from myself behind that smile. Maybe I will never find my truth. But maybe it was there all along.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Shadow's Assassin: *sighs* Bad, I know. Give me a break, I've never written anything in 1st person before, and nothing with any angst, no one-shots… Basically, I have no experience. So be nice and leave a review. *chibi eyes* Onegai?

I hope this wasn't too confusing. It was mainly just a bunch of disconnected thoughts that may have run through Soujiro's head. *shrugs* Sorry if this is OOC in any way. I tried. Once again, reviews are greatly appreciated.