This is my attempt at getting over my annoying writer's block. (expect updates on my stories later this week)
Sooo, this is dedicated to Sariniste. Mostly because she is like one of the awesomest writers I know, fanfiction and real world wise. And also because it's a parody of her own story 'Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors' which you should seriously read if you love Bleach…and laughing your lungs out.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing here, not even the idea. Please don't take it too seriously, just poking a little fun is all. That said, enjoy!
I wanted to start with Naruto, since he's the main character and all. But Sasuke's was finished first. *sweatdrop*
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Dear Naruto Fanfiction Authors,
Normally I wouldn't bother with something as stupid as this, but the studio execs threatened to fire me if I didn't.
(coughs to clear throat.)
The amount of stories on your inane site pairing me with the Dobe is seriously disturbing, and more so is the fact that most of them are written by females. What is with all of you and this so called yaoi? Just because I told the Dobe that he's my best friend does not mean I harbor secret homo erotic feelings for him. Obviously.
As for kissing him, are you all so pea-brained that I need to remind you that both incidences were clearly accidents?
Like I'd willingly kiss that ramen-loving idiot. No one cares much for ramen breath.
Crazed fangirl pops us and points accusing finger: AHA! So you remember what sweet Naruto-chan's mouth tasted like. You are so hungry for more of-
Sasuke: *runs her through with a chidori-charged Kusanagi*
(clears throat.) As I was saying, I am not interested in the Dobe, or any of the people you pair me up with.
Sakura is - was my teammate, so I suppose there was a time I cared for her general well-being to some extent, but that was a long time ago and I am not, nor will I ever be interested in her that way. Just as I am not interested in Ino, Tenten or Hinata, or any of those rabid fangirls. They are all annoying.
As are all of you and your pathetic excuses for stories.
If you want to write about romance, use some other characters, but you will be wise to refrain from including me in any more of your stories.
Especially ones about me and Aniki. There was nothing incestuous about our bond. Anyone I find writing about us in such a manner, will suffer that fate.
(points at the crazed fangirl he'd stabbed earlier.)
Uchiha Sasuke
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Naruto: Oi, did you really have to kill that girl, Teme?
Sasuke: she was asking for it, insinuating that I would want to kiss you of all people again. *scoffs and rolls his eyes* please.
Naruto: (sweatdrops)….. Right.