Disclaimer: Hopefully, Kishimoto-sama will adopt me next week, and give me all of the rights to Naruto. In such a case... be afraid, everyone. Be very, very afraid. But as of now, I don't own the rights to the greatness that is Naruto. Yet.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Uchiha Sasuke grumbled, glaring at his blond-haired best friend as if this was all his fault. Which it was, in his mind.
"Oh, stop your bitching, teme." Naruto snapped from his place near the bench. He was flipping through a couple of CD's, trying to find the perfect one for their mission. Sasuke just swore to Kami that Tsunade had been drunk when she had assigned the two ANBU's such a thing.
Sasuke scowled at Naruto, who was smirking as he hit the play button. Soft, classical music began to drift from the speakers. "Okay, teme, ready?"
"No."
"Well, too bad. Baa-chan assigned this mission, and unless we want to have no more missions for a year, we have to do it."
"Hn."
"Don't you 'hn' at me, you bastard! Now put your arms around my shoulders."
Sasuke stared at Naruto as if he had grown two heads.
"No. There is no way I'm being the female." Naruto sighed.
"Well, too bad. I only know how to do the male part."
"Just what the hell are you trying to imply, dobe?!" Naruto smirked, but didn't answer.
"Just shut up and put your hands around my shoulders." Sasuke glared at him, and placed his hands on Naruto's shoulders, barely touching the azure-eyed male. "Okay, well, now what?"
Sasuke sighed. "Why don't you just let me lead, moron? I'm the one that's supposed to be teaching you."
Naruto scowled, but he slid his hands upwards so that they were now grabbing Sasuke's shoulders. The Uchiha lightly placed his hands on his best friends waist, and then sighed once more.
"Okay, now, let's try this again. I move to the right, and you're supposed to follow me." Sasuke moved his right leg over to the right, but because Naruto wasn't an expert at this like the onyx-eyed male, he wound up sprawled on the floor.
"Dammit, teme, a warning next time would be nice!"
"Well maybe if you had been listening you could've stopped your little make-out session with the floor, dobe." Sasuke retorted. Naruto growled but picked himself up in what he obviously considered was a dignified silence. "Again, moron, and this time, why don't you just listen to me?" Naruto's cerulean eyes glared at the man across from him, but he obligingly placed his arms once more around Sasuke's neck.
"Alright, when I move my right leg, you follow. Got it?" Naruto nodded, and they did the move from before, only more successful. "Better, dobe. Now why couldn't you have just done this before?" Naruto stuck his tongue out in response, causing Sasuke to roll his eyes. "You're twenty. Now would be a good time to start acting like it.""Less talk, more action." Naruto commanded, and Sasuke snorted.
"Remember who's leading." He reminded him, causing the scowl to go back on Naruto's face.
"Shut up, teme." He mumbled, and Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, idiot. Now, I move back, and you follow me." Sasuke did as he said, and Naruto was staring down at their feet, making sure he wouldn't trip again.
They began to do this for the next hour and a half until Naruto began to get it. "HELL YEAH, I AM SUPER AWESOME! DATTEBAYO!" Sasuke rolled his eyes at his best friend.
"I can't believe that Tsunade made me teach you how to dance just for your upcoming wedding. Are you really that stupid?"
Naruto growled at the Uchiha survivor. "No!" He ground out angrily. "It's just that she knows how important this is to me and wants me to look amazing for Hinata-chan!"
Sasuke gave him a blank look. "Right. That is DEFINITELY it." He said sarcastically, and the azure-eyed male pouted.
"You're so mean, teme."
"Never said I was nice, dobe." Sasuke countered back smoothly.
"Hey, Sasuke?"
"Hn."
"If we're dancing for my wedding, then aren't you supposed to be pretending to be Hinata-chan?"
Sasuke eyed him warily. "I guess so." Naruto's evil smirk was just a tad bit off putting…
"Okay. Now, you'll be the female, and I'll be the male, teme."
Well, he supposed it was time to see if the idiot really could do it…
"Hn." Sasuke muttered, mentally cringing as he placed his arms on Naruto's shoulders. He would be taking a long, hot shower tonight, involved with lots of scrubbing. Especially on his hands.
The music began to play once more, and the two males began to move.
Then, Sasuke felt it.
A hand was grabbing his ass.
"DOBE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" He howled, stepping back in both mortification and anger. He'd put up with enough groping when he was at Orochimaru's! He didn't return back to Konoha just to have to suffer sexual assault once more, god dammit.
"Well, you said to pretend that you were Hinata-chan!" Naruto protested, and began to back into the wall when Sasuke's Sharingan began to whirl to life rather frighteningly. The Kyuubi vessel began to scream in pain as the obsidian-eyed ANBU began to show him exactly why you should never touch Uchiha Sasuke's "special places".
That right was for his girlfriend, Sakura, only.
"Naruto, none of what has transpired here will ever leave this room, right?" Sasuke glared dangerously at the slumped and bruised form of the future Hokage.
"Right." Naruto croaked, trying to inch into a corner at the Sharingan wielders look.
"Good." The Uchiha said shortly, and stomped out of the room.
He was going to find the nearest bar and drown out his horrors even if it killed him. Hopefully he wouldn't drunkenly tell the story to some stupid fangirl.
Sasuke paused, contemplating if drinking was really the answer.
However, just the memory of Naruto's solid hands grabbing his buttcheeks gave him the answer.
Hell yes.
A/N- Uhm, for the record, I feel… defiled. Incredibly defiled. This is a challenge fic for Renalin (who is simply amazing, and I DEFINITELY recommend her fics). She made (okay, people, MADE. I am not turning into a NaruSasu fangirl…hopefully) me write this, and I made her write a ShikaSaku one similar to this plot. It's called You Want Me To Do What?! And it's utterly hilarious. Anyway, despite the fact that it's not my usual writing style, review and tell me what you think of it, even if it's a flame.