Author: BebePanda401
Story Title: El Problema De Estar Enamorada De Tu Mejor Amiga
Warnings: None.
Rated: K+ for no reason, other than one-sided lesbian love.
A/N: Alright, my first attempt at writing a one-sided yuri. I am not a lesbian, so I do not understand the feelings that they may preserve- I've never really been in love in general. I wanted to use a Spanish title, because I read somewhere that English people learn Spanish faster than they do Japanese, and vice-versa for Japanese. Besides, Ichiko seems to have the 'espanol' aura to her ^^. I'm not going to translate the title, it's pretty obvious what it is. This was from the help of my friend, but it was over text -_-' So yeah. Please feel free to correct me :)
~El Problema De Estar Enamorada De Tu Mejor Amiga~
Amiga.
That was all I was to her. To my 'amiga' Yumemi. An 'amiga.' Not a lover, not a girlfriend. I was just her best friend, who she could confide all of her fears, worries and doubts too, without worrying out dear 'amiga' Suzume. I was her secret box of secrets, a teddy bear that was hugged when she needed to be comforted. A friend, nothing more.
That hurt.
I have always loved Yumemi. Okay, not always, but my feelings have been developing since I was around thirteen, maybe fourteen. I was terrified of them at first- I mean, I was becoming emotionally attracted to my best friend. My best friend! And not only that...I was developing feelings for her physical figure as well. It scared me.
I could pick out her long, golden hair from anyone in the crowd. Her hand was smooth, warm and pleasant to touch, even if my fingers only kissed it for a moment. Oh, those golden moments. My shining hours. Her green eyes shimmered childishly at the mention of food, plush toys and her favorite songs that aired on the television set. She was a one-in-a-million type of girl.
Was I lucky in getting to know her?
She was always running...and looking at the sky. She cried and cried and cried. I could never stop the flow, only barricade the dam temporarily whilst the waters glistened on top of the green lake. Those beautiful green eyes of hers...how I wish I could gaze at them all day long. I could get lost in her forest for an eye.
But...red-baka came along.
Stole her away from me.
Stole everything I had!
Why?
Why?
It's his fault! Everything that I had ever known, everything that I had worked so hard to make just right. The future was nearly set in stone- just me, Yumemi and Suzume. Spending the rest of our lives together in that town, as friends. And maybe...almost more for me and Yumemi. But it was his fault it was all ruined! All of it was his fault! Everything!
Everything!
...
...
...
...
No. I cannot get angry at that red haired freak. No matter how much I detest him, he did nothing considerably wrong. He may be a proud-assed jerk, but it's not hard to see how much he loves Yumemi. Even an idiot could tell that- he wanted to protect her. The only thing he wanted to protect. I wanted to protect her as well, but...not the only thing.
However, Yumemi knows I love her.
She's standing in front of me right now.
"Ichiko...you...love me?" She's shocked, it's clear to see. The poor young girl, shaking like a leaf departing from the Mother tree, down into the wet, plain field of grass down below. It will either rot away, or be preserved in a child's work of art.
Which fate would you choose?
I slowly nod. Unable to look her in the eyes. I turn away.
However, she smiles at me. I can see from the corner of my eyes, she is smiling at me. That beautiful, blossoming, and beaming smile. That smile, so full of love and adventure. Wondering, what it is like to fly, to cast spells, to be pure. She asks so many questions...it's always unclear which one she is going to answer with her own power. That's the best thing about her.
But...she walks closer.
She wraps her arms around me. Pulls me in tighter.
"Ichiko..."
Whispering my name. My eyes widen and I am frozen in shock. I cannot move.
"Arigatou. But you know, don't you? You know that I am not the one for you, am I?" Tears form in my eyes. It appears I cannot control the flow of the dam bursting right at this moment. I want to control these feelings! Why does she...she...
Why does she break me so easily?
Breaking away from her embrace, I wipe the tears away. But they keep on spilling, they won't stop falling from the lake in which they are meant to be stored and staying dormant. They want to be free. So do my feelings.
"I-it's okay," I begin (what a lie) unable to choke out more words, "I-I can just find somebody else to distract me, can't I? It's not very hard, I mean, it's not like I love you like, deeply, or anything. It's...just...a...crush. Maybe...more...but...I-I...d-d-don't...know." I'm breaking. The fine glass cascading my heart is cracking. Shards sticking into my heart!
"Ichiko...I can give you something. Just once, to see what it feels like?" She couldn't mean...
Besar*?
"You don't mean..."
She nods. My eyes widen, but then close. She is so selfless...
We lean in.
Giving up her first kiss...
Wait.
Her first...she wouldn't want it to be me.
I open my eyes...she's nearly there. I put three fingers to her lips. She opens her eyes, and finds me smiling. I am smiling, but it is not fake. Or real. I just feel neutral at the moment.
"No. No Yumemi."
"Ichiko..."
"You don't want to give your first kiss to me, do you? Save it for that red-baka. You love him, not me. You will never love me. Not the way I love you, and I don't want you to sacrifice anymore than you have to. Make your own choices from your own heart, not out of sympathy for a pathetic friend. Please, Yumemi. Is that too much to ask?"
She nods.
"Arigatou."
I nod. But I walk away, as she looks on. I smile, and she thinks that I will get over it. She thinks that I will be happier, now that I have resolved my feelings, and I shall move on.
Secretly, I'm bleeding inside.
A/N: Very angsty ending. Ichiko is also crying. I've never done this before...please correct me if I am wrong! 'Besar' means kiss, by the way.