Whiskey Lullaby
'Home…' Heero thought, his mind spinning to a beautiful girl with honey-blonde hair. A half-smile played on his face as he thought of his girlfriend, soon to be fiancé. Beside him sat Marimeya Barton, now 16 and very analytical for her age. She watched him calmly, a calm smile on her face.
Her secrets were many, varied, and rarely told.
"You really love, Relena, don't you Heero?" She asked quietly and he looked at her before nodding. "I'm glad you're happy, it's good to see a smile instead of a scowl." She whispered and turned back to the window. She knew more than she let on, such as the repercussions of returning early. And you would think he would've picked up on her hesitancy to return.
Heero never noticed a thing.
The ship prepared for loading and the redhead fastened her seatbelt, thinking about Relena and Heero. They matched somehow, the princess and her knight. As the ship unloaded she reached up and grabbed her pack. The two were returning from a summit of Preventers, Marimeya going in her step-mother's place. The two got off the shuttle and Marimeya saw the car waiting for her. She turned to Heero and suddenly her mind screamed at her to tell him, and she normally didn't ignore her intuition.
But now she knew wasn't the time. He had to find out, and perhaps this was her gift to him for all the ill she'd done.
She smiled, wished him luck, and got in the car.
As Heero watched her leave he began walking down the street to the apartment where Relena was waiting, he knew. In reality he was back ahead of schedule, but only by a day. He thought of the look on his love's face when she saw him back early, and that made the already short walk even quicker. He bounded up the stairs, and when he got to the door he listened.
There was a gentle giggling inside.
Smiling he walked in and was silent as he followed the laughter to the bedroom. He hid by the door for a minute, listening to her laugh…a part of him wondered why she was laughing, the other part didn't care. He reached into his pocket, fingering the black velvet box he had and smiled before placing his hand on the door knob.
"Oh Danny!" her voice giggled.
Heero froze, praying she was on the phone. He pushed the door open and nothing could've prepared him for the sight before him. No training braced his newly opened heart for the shattering blow he was dealt.
Relena was there, naked, with another man in his bed.
Heero made no sound, but Relena then saw him and her face fell. Danny, an intern at Preventers, a young cuss who hated all 5 pilots with a passion, rolled over and saw the wing pilot and sneered a little. Normally Heero would've thrown him out, knowing he hoodwinked Relena…
But Heero could tell by the apologetic look on her face she wasn't hoodwinked.
The pilot backed out, not saying a word, and turned away before walking calmly down the hall, dropping the ring box in the process. As he opened the apartment door he heard her calling after him, then freezing when she saw the box. He closed the door behind him and walked down the stairs and down the road to Preventers headquarters. He made it halfway when he looked up at the roof of the colony and screamed.
Meanwhile, the VFM sobbed as realization hit her.
Heero walked down to the headquarters, and standing outside were three of his four companions, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei. The three were smiling and as he approached their faces brightened even more. He got closer and the three froze, immediately sensing something was wrong. He got to them and stared, his eyes empty. Then a tear slid down his cheek. He just stood there, looking lost, until Duo hugged him and for the first time ever he didn't resist but gave in to the hug and sobbed.
Trowa didn't have the heart to tell him Relena had never been loyal.
It took a while for the story to come out and when it did there were three pissed pilots around Heero. Duo offered him a place to stay but Heero denied it. He had a place to stay, and with that he left silently. He walked a ways to an older building, climbing the stairs in a daze. He made it to an old apartment and opened the door, going in and sinking into the couch. The tears came freely now and as he leaned back he felt something under the cushion.
He reached down and found a bottle of whiskey, and opened it.
He drank that night, but her face played in his mind and he couldn't get her out. It then occurred to him that he didn't have any reason to live any more, Relena was his reason. She'd given him a life, returned his heart, loved him and cared for him when no one else would. Now his heart was shattered, he had nothing, and the whiskey wouldn't relieve him of her face. But he couldn't leave his friends.
It went on like this for three years, the other four powerless to stop it.
Heero Yuy was returning to his apartment three years to the day since he'd become a shell. He was so tired of this, bored with existing but not loving life and appreciating what he had. He wanted to feel again, to be alive.
His old friend slept by his bed every night, waiting…
He knew it would never happen, so he finally took the gun and stared at it long and hard. He drank deep from the whiskey bottle, fingering the well-oiled trigger. One pull and this would end in a flash.
Relena had stopped caring…after the wedding.
He put the gun to his head and rested his finger on the trigger. He'd done this before…maybe he'd go through with it.
The only person who could help him didn't know, and neither party knew that.
She had been told all her life she was pretty, and her compassion would be the end of her. But to be frank, she ignored it. Her heart was in her work, and the hands of someone who was a shell of his former amazing self.
To say she'd wanted to kill Relena when she'd found out was an understatement. Heero was her best friend, the man she had relied on for so much for so long.
Today she walked into the headquarters to see Heero slumped in a chair, defeat written in his features. Behind her the murmur echoed 'he couldn't do it'.
She knew what they meant, and she knew it was only a matter of time.
"Heero?" She asked, and his blue, now nearly black, eyes shot up at her. "I…" the cold look he gave stalled her voice and she frowned. "Smile, Heero, for me?" She asked and for a fraction of a second his lip turned up and his eyes relit, but it was gone before anyone else saw. "Thank you." She smiled at him and then leaned over to kiss his forehead. She walked away then and a sudden feeling overtook her.
Duo came up behind her and shook her from the daze. "Lil' Bit!" He said happily, hugging her tightly. She smiled and allowed him to kiss her on the cheek.
Heero watched and slumped back over, she didn't care.
"Hey, Lil' Bit, do me a favor?" He whispered and she tilted her head. "c'mere." He pulled her to the side where Trowa and Wufei were watching.
"Don't let him go home alone." All three said. She blinked and suddenly realized what the feeling was, and they'd had it too.
"Tonight's the night." She said and they nodded.
Not on my life!
That night as the headquarters shut down, Heero slipped out quietly and she followed him quickly. She mimicked his steps to the dilapidated apartment, staying silent behind him. As he climbed the stairs and went into his apartment she followed carefully, and stopped at the door. He'd left it open and she pushed it open. There he was, sitting on a run-down couch, a bottle of Jack Daniels in his right hand and a small handgun in the other.
Her eyes widened and she slipped into the shadows to watch. He stared at the gun and she could tell he didn't want to do it, but living was too painful. He lifted the gun and she shook her head. He scribbled out a note and then dropped to his knees. He placed the barrel against his temple and a grim smile crossed his features.
Good bye, my friends.
She couldn't let him do it, seeing him there made her realize how alone he truly was. All her life she'd been refused by love after love, her greatest had died and now she was left holding what was left. She knew he was drinking her memory away, and this short life had become too strong to get up off his knees.
"Heero, stop." Her quiet voice rang out and his eyes shot open. The training he never spoke of took over and he turned the gun on her. "There he is, that's the Wing Pilot I know." She turned on the light and stared him down, her ice blue eyes locking with his.
His eyes narrowed as his heart leaped.
"I knew, you know. That day I knew you shouldn't have come home. I always know." Her eyes remained on his as she walked toward him. "You have such a beautiful smile, though, I hoped that maybe you wouldn't find out and that smile would stay. But that's trusting Relena with something precious, and everyone knows she's a screw up."
Heero knew she was right and he lowered the gun. The power then went out, bathing the two figures in darkness. Heero reached to the table and lit a candle, and she followed suit. Soon the room was covered in soft light and she turned to him. He was standing close by, watching her.
He wasn't ready to accept she cared.
"Heero, you are stronger than any man I've ever met, you've overcome more than anyone I could begin to think of, and you are wonderful. You were a perfect boyfriend to Relena and she screwed up because she doesn't understand your quiet strength. Please Heero, don't let one bad experience take your life."
"I loved her." He whispered and she crossed slowly to him, pulling him onto the couch. She pulled out a locket and opened it for him. Inside was a picture of Treize, and a picture of a young man, the same young man who had ruined his life.
"Danny was as much of a screw up as Relena, but this is his twin brother, David. When Daniel was ruining lives, David dreamt of building them. David had a beautiful soul, and he was my first true love. We were engaged you know, I was only 14 though and everyone knew it wouldn't happen. And it didn't but not because I wasn't ready, because his 'wonderful' brother who won the family over and made everyone think he was perfect, shot him. Daniel is unnaturally jealous, and when he learned David and I were to be married before him, he decided the time of David's end was here."
Heero looked at her, a single tear running down a porcelain cheek. She closed the locket. "I keep their pictures to remind me to go on, and to keep loving." She looked at him, strong and determined.
"Love can kill you." Heero said, looking at the handgun on the table.
"No, folly kills you. Love is who we are, Heero." Her voice was like a lullaby and Heero found himself drifting away into sleep.
Don't leave me, Heero.
He leaned over and rested his dark head on her chest, and she wrapped her pale arms around him.
"I'll cover you." She whispered. He then sat up and looked at her before leaning close and brushing his lips with hers.
"I love you." He replied and she smiled. He then fell asleep and she shook her head, allowing him to rest on her.
"I love you, too."
She'd handle the repercussions in the morning.
The next day she awoke to the shower running, and she smiled remembering last night. She sat up and the shower stopped. Her eyes took in the forgone apartment, and she cringed thinking about washing her hair. Soon the door opened and Heero came out, clad only in a pair of jeans. She blushed and he came to sit beside her.
"Thank you." He said and she nodded. "I didn't want to die, I have to think of my friends. Life is short, and nothing can make me want to stop living." He said all of this slowly, and while it was out of character, she knew in an instant what was happening. Heero, in all his stoic nature, only opened up to those he trusted, and after he had opened himself to RElena she had seen the compassionate Heero a bit. Now, that Heero was back.
"I knew you didn't want to leave them."
"Them?" He asked and she looked at him. "I meant you, as well. Probably you more than anyone. You always tried to help, wanted to be there and were the first to come to my aid. I promised your mother I'd always care for you, and now you've made good on my promise, you cared for me. Leaving you behind would've sent me straight to hell. I've never known simple love, not for being a hero, but for being Heero." At that his face cracked a bit.
She giggled at him, but her eyes were alight with hope.
"You've loved me all along and never said a word, haven't you?"
"Yes." Her honesty was her other fault.
"A little girl in love with an old man." He chuckled.
"Oh come on! It's only seven years! I'm nineteen!"
"And I'm 26." He retorted. She huffed.
"Your emotional capacity is that of a teenager, and you never had teen years." She said and he rolled his eyes.
"I told you last night I loved you, but fell asleep before your reply." He said and he smiled.
"Heero, I love you. I always have, and as long as there is breath in me I always will." She said and leaned over and kissed him lightly. She pulled away but he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her onto his lap and kissed her full on. She smiled into the kiss and replied. They stayed like that for a while and then she slid off the white button down she'd been wearing, leaving her in a cami with her arms entwined around his neck.
Duo never was famous for his timing.
"HEERO! OPEN THE HELL UP!" The two broke apart and Heero growled. She carefully slid off his lap and he went to the door, opening it to reveal his four friends.
"Thank God!" Quatre breathed. "You didn't go through with it!" Heero raised an eyebrow and she quickly jumped up.
"Are you insinuating I was incapable of stopping him?!" She playfully snapped and grinned as three of the four gaped at her well-developed body clad only in a white cami and jeans. Trowa had to chuckle at her and she found his eyes. "What's so funny, Mr. Barton?" She asked and he looked at her.
For once Trowa knew his best friend would be ok.
"Nothing. But I think we should leave them alone, they probably have some extensive, uhm, therapy." At that he pulled Duo and Quatre away, while the recovered Wufei smirked.
"Take care of her, Yuy. You've got a priceless rose on your hands." And he left with that and a smirk while Heero turned to her and grinned.
"Don't I know it." He breathed, pulling her against him and capturing her mouth. When they pulled apart she giggled a little and rana finger along his jaw.
"I love you Heero."
"And I you, Marimeya."
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby...