Absolution

Post 'The Farm' story. If the homecoming had gone a little differently for Kara and Lee.

Kara was pissed. She was pissed that Lee didn't even seem to care that she was back. Of course it didn't help that the whole fracking fleet had gone to hell in a handbasket in the ten days she'd been gone. Lee had mutineed. Lee! Of all people. She'd never expected him to defy his father the way he had, despite their obvious difficulties getting along.

And now? Now Lee was treating her like a cadet. he hadn't once said he was glad she was back, in fact he hadn't spoken to her personally at all in the three days she'd been back. And he hadn't called her Kara.

That was the dead giveaway. When he addressed her as Starbuck instead of Kara, she knew he was mad. Fine, he wanted to be mad? She could be mad too.

"Last on the agenda, Starbuck - you'll take the nuggets out for a training run. Drill them on their landing sequences. Chief is getting mighty pissed at having to stick pieces back on those Vipers after they've been through with them."

"Yes SIR," she said, emphasizing the 'sir' with heavy sarcasm.

"What did you say Lieutenant?" he asked in a dark voice as she followed the rest of the pilots out of the briefing room.

"I said, 'yes sir'," she repeated slowly, as if talking to a two year old.

"You'll scrub the hangar bay decks when you're through with the nuggets."

She didn't trust herself to speak this time, and used every ounce of restraint not to hit him as she walked through the door he held open. She nodded, meeting his eyes briefly and hurried off to the flight deck, tears burning in her eyes.

Lee sat down heavily at his desk, staring at the pile of reports he needed to check through. He'd never anticipated the CAG's job would involve so much paperwork! Before Galactica, he'd been a pilot - just fly the ships and someone else took care of the rest. He smirked as he realized he'd had Kara's job - lead pilot and flight trainer. They were so similar sometimes it was scary. And others? Well, that was even scarier.

Kara. He let his thoughts drift to her. He'd never known anyone more frustrating in his life - including his father. He couldn't even begin to define all the emotions he felt when he thought of her. Right now the uppermost of these was anger. She'd defied authority, again, taken the cylon raider and disappeared. After talking to the president, Lee felt even worse. Her disappearance had made more sense, but in Lee's opinion, it had been a one-way mission, even for Starbuck. She was as tough as they come, and seemed to have nine lives, but even she couldn't handle fighting the cylons hand-to-hand. And who knew how many she'd encounter before completing her mission?

She had survived though, against the odds, in part thanks to Helo, the Sharon copy and the resistance cell led by Anders. Lee had read the report and sent a thankful prayer to the Gods that she'd returned safely.

Nonetheless, he was pissed at her for disappearing like that. Partly because it was a terrible influence on the rest of the pilots, but mostly because he cared more for her than he should and he'd been worried sick. As annoying and difficult as Kara was, she was a part of him, and without her he had difficulty functioning.

And then there was that OTHER thing. The thing he'd heard Helo telling the other guys about in the mess hall the night before. If he hadn't been angry at her before, he certainly would be now. She flirted with him shamelessly, and though he never took her seriously, he always felt there was an undercurrent of truth in her apparent feelings for him. But now, to find out she'd slept with ANOTHER guy ... one she'd only know a few days, and who could be a cylon for all she knew? He was seething.

She was exhausted. The nuggets had been difficult today. Didn't seem to be able to focus. Not one of them made a proper landing, even after four hours practice. She had a fierce headache already, and after hearing the chief scream at her for the destruction they'd reigned on three of the Vipers, which were now completely disabled by the way, she felt as though her head would explode.

She'd passed the Chief's comments on to them and sent them back to the briefing room to study their manuals more closely. She headed for the nearest supply closet to grab a mop. Lee would have her head if she didn't get the decks scrubbed down before supper. The way he'd been acting lately, she'd be lucky if she wasn't sent to the brig for missing a spot.

After reading the final report, Lee headed to the hangar bay to find out how the training went. He knew it was going to be rough - this new batch of nuggets weren't capable by any stretch of the imagination. But they were the best of what was left; soon there would b no new pilots to train if the cylons came after them again. They seemed to have been given a bit of a breather here - time to collect themselves and prepare for the next battle.

He was still thinking about Kara in the back of his mind though, and seeing her scrubbing brought all those feelings of anger back to the forefront. Not to mention the three nearly-destroyed Vipers. They couldn't afford to lose ANY ships now. He knew it wasn't her fault, but still, Lee saw red.

"Starbuck," he barked out. She stiffened but didn't turn to face him. She could hear his boots on the flight deck as he strode angrily towards her. "What the hell happened out there?"

She finally turned once he was only a few feet away. "Sorry sir," she said.

"You destroyed three Vipers! Three! We can't afford to lose any ships." He moved closer to her and lowered his voice. "The next time there's so much as a scratch during your watch, your flight status will be revoked and you'll join Tyrol's crew doing repairs. Do I make myself clear?"

"That's not fair and you know it," she said angrily, head held high. "I'm doing the best I can with a group of kids that have no aptitude for flying." Her hands gripped the mop tightly, knuckles turning white.

"A superior officer takes responsibility for those under his or her command."

"How often have you spent time in hack because of my screw-up?" she asked belligerently.

He laughed harshly. "I'd be living there if that were the case."

"Oh right, and you're perfect. That's why we call you Apollo - you're so god-like." Sarcasm dripped from her voice.

"At least I don't sleep around with every woman I see," he said tightly, eyes narrowing.

At this personal attack, Kara lost all control. She dropped the broom and punched him in the face. Hard. Lee recoiled for barely a second before hitting her back, even harder. As his fist connected with her cheek, he had a sudden sense of deja vu and remembered the last time they'd had a fist fight. It too had been over another man.

This time however, he felt the bones give way under his hand, and heard the sickening crack as they snapped. His heart seemed to stop suddenly as he realized he'd gone too far.

TBC

Her hand flew to her jaw as she fell backwards, striking her head hard against the flight deck. Several people's heads turned to see what was going on. Up till then, they hadn't really seemed to care. Apollo and Starbuck arguing was a regular occurence and barely even noticeable anymore.

Kara felt herself slipping into unconscious, and she welcomed it. At least the pain of what Lee had done to her face and her pride would subside for a time.

A second later, he was at her side, gathering her into his arms. His heart stung painfully as he saw the swelling and purplish bruises quickly rising to her cheek.

"Get a medic!" he yelled at the stunned observers, and when there was a pause before action he added, "Now!" at the top of his lungs. They arrived a scant few minutes later and he reluctantly surrendered her to them, kneeling as if carved in stone as he watched them take her away.

"I'm so sorry Kara," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

"Are you okay sir?" one of the mechanics asked, noticing the bruise on his cheek. Lee turned to face him, a vacant expression on his face. He didn't even recognize the man. One of Tyrol's he assumed, but even after nearly a year on Galactica, there were still people he didn't know. He nodded and stood up, heading for the guard stationed at the closest munitions locker.

"I need to get a message to the Commander. Ask him to meet me in sickbay as soon as he's able." Lee's voice shook and the guard noticed his wan pallor.

"Are you alright sir?" was his first response.

"Fine," Lee shook it off brusquely. "I need that message sent now." And he was already turning as the guard saluted him.

"Yes sir," he replied, military discipline kicking back in.

Lee raced to the infirmary as fast as he could but the Doctor already had her sequestered as he examined her.

"I need to see her," he said in a panicky voice, but the doctor shoved him aside roughly. Privilege of rank - only a doctor could outrank anyone and give orders.

"Not now," he barked out.

"Yes now!" Lee yelled, pushing forward.

"Guards!" The doctor called out, and magically two armed guards appeared out of nowhere. "Keep this man out of my sickbay." They nodded assent, each gripping one of Lee's strong arms.

"I'll let you know as soon as you can come back," he said in a gentler voice. He did have some compassion after all, and he knew, as did most of the rest of the ship, that Lee cared for her a great deal. More than he'd ever admit anyway.

Lee put up no fight, knowing he was beaten before he'd even begun . He was also beginning to come down from the adrenaline rush and his mind was starting to think clearly. He was going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble when his father found out what he'd done. Way to go Lee, he told himself, you've managed to frack things up between you and Kara and you and your dad all in the space of a few seconds.

Lee stood there by her side quietly, holding her hand in both of his. She looked so small and fragile - two things he'd never associated with her before, but then again, this was the first time she'd been here because of him. Usually they both ended up with a few bruises, but never had he broken bones.

For indeed, she had a fractured cheekbone thanks to him. The doctor hadn't asked how it had happened ... yet. For now he'd been too busy treating her. But the inquiry would come, just as soon as his father arrived.

Speaking, or rather thinking of the ... there he was, concern evident in every crease of his face.

"Starbuck," he said in a low voice, coming forward to see her more closely. "Kara, oh Kara, why you? Why is it always you?"

Lee stole a glance at his father's face. He was shocked at what he read there. Love, as plain as could be. He knew his father cared for her, in fact at one time he could have sworn that his father loved Kara (as a daughter of course) more than he loved his own son. Now he could see that the first part was definitely right. Commander Adama definitely loved Kara Thrace. The pain only a parent can have for his suffering child was apparent along with the love on his face.

It only made Lee feel worse. He was glad that the old man loved her - she'd had precious little family growing up and she deserved a little parental love. But he would go crazy when he found out Lee had done this to her.

Adama leaned forward, touched her shoulder gently and kissed her forehead. Lee could swear he saw a tear fall from his father's eye, but a moment later when he stood up straight, there was no sign of tears. His body stiffened when he caught sight of Lee's bruise.

"Outside," he said in a gravelly voice, nodding towards the infirmary door.

As soon as they were alone in the corridor and the infirmary door closed, Adam grabbed his son's uniform lapels and dragged him close till their faces were barely a few inches apart.

"How could you do this to her?" The powerful passion under the words was more hurtful to Lee than the words themselves. He was already berating himself for what he'd done. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he searched for words. Finally, his mouth stayed closed and his shoulders slumped forward in defeat. There was no excuse for what he had done.

Adama let his son go. He knew, without having to ask, what had happened between them. The bruise on Lee's face only confirmed it. He'd seen the tension mounting between them since Lee'd come aboard Galactica, but it had been nothing compared with the tension since she'd returned from Caprica.

"You fractured her jaw Lee," Adam began.

"I know, I know," Lee said miserably. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt her." The tears came hard and fast. "I love her," he mumbled through his sobs, barely audibly. His father pulled him into his arms suddenly and gave him a large bear hug. A few tears escaped his eyes as well.

"I know you do son, I know you do." And they stood there for a long time, each lost in their own sorrow - Lee's for Kara and Adama's for his son.

"She'll be okay in time," he said, as Lee broke out of his arms and wiped his tears away. Lee nodded. "Passions have always run deep between you two. Perhaps you can find a better way to deal with them than beating on each other in the future."

Lee stared at him, shocked. "Are you suggesting ...?"

"Not suggesting. Giving you some advice," he said ambiguously.

"Do you think she'll forgive me?"

"Stranger things have happened around here." Adama patted his son on the shoulder. "Now, there's the subject of consequences. I can't have two of my officers assaulting each other. And especially having them put out of commission. Starbuck will spend three days in the brig once she's released from sickbay, and you'll serve a week. I like Tigh's idea - you can serve your time during your off-duty hours." Lee looked surprised. "I need you Lee. This ship can't function without it's CAG and lead pilot. Maybe you and Kara can work out your differences while sharing adjacent cells."

Lee sighed and shook his head, unconvinced. He knew it would take a miracle for her to forgive him this time. He'd thought and acted with his heart instead of his brain, again, and behaved like a jealous teenager. Problem was, he was having more and more difficulty keeping his emotions in check when it came to her.

TBC