Hi everyone! So most of you who reviewed my Ice Bucket challenge fic wanted to see Anakin and Obi-Wan's challenge, and because I was so flattered by this request, I dicided to fulfil it. I give you the Team's challenge. :)
Warning: slight language. Only one vulgarity, but best to warn now, just in case.
"Anakin, why are we doing this?"
"Relax, Master Obi-Wan, it's just for fun."
The auburn haired Jedi Master stared nonchalantly at his former apprentice, who was currently pacing back and forth in front of him with a pair of large and colourful buckets. Seriously, the hot pink one that the boy had chosen was making Obi-Wan see yellow. He would be taking a trip to the healer's wing after this to see if his vision was still intact.
Actually…. He would sooner just carry out the test himself by seeing if he made it back to his quarters without walking into any walls after this RIDICULOUS fiasco of his friend's was over. That's how much the Jedi Master loved the healing quarters. He loved it so much that he couldn't possibly burden those poor healers with his problems again.
What was he thinking in actually CONSIDERING going to visit the healers? Vokara was a force to be reckoned with, and he was not in the mood to be receiving any lectures or sarcastic remarks.
That was his thing.
"Your idea of fun is not the same as my own, my former apprentice," the Jedi Master remarked dryly. "I, for one, certainly do not find it prudent or reasonably sensible to be doing this… 'Ice Bucket Challenge' on the roof of the Jedi Temple."
As if to emphasise this point, a harsh gust of wind slammed right into the left side of Obi-Wan unexpectedly, sending the Jedi off balance and stumbling dangerously close to the edge.
"Have you had anything to drink, Master?" Obi-Wan shot a glare at his friend and 'brother', who merely regarded him with two, thick, suggestively hoisted eyebrows and a sly smirk. The elder Jedi's face darkened slightly, the glare in his grey eyes glinting brightly under the reflection of the setting sun.
"A Jedi does not have the time for indulgences, Anakin," Obi-Wan remarked, quickly stepping away from the edge and back towards his friend, a hard scowl on his face. "The very idea that you would even think I have had such a… stimulating beverage is beyond my reasonable understanding."
At this, the younger Jedi's expression changed from one of suggestion to easy thought. He propped his clean shaven chin atop his fisted left hand, and allowed his elbow to rest on the arm of his mechanical aid and jutted his bottom lip out and frowned.
"There was that drink you had whilst I went looking for the changeling that tried to kill Pad – I mean, Senator Amidala. Then there was my eighteenth birthday, right before we were called off to Anison. Oh, and then there was the time when you had gone missing for twenty-four hours and I found you at Dex's with Garen, Bant and Siri, dancing on the bar with nothing but your pants –"
"YES, Anakin!" Obi-Wan cried out, slapping a hand over the lower half of his face in an attempt to try and cover the furious shade of red his cheeks and neck had turned. "That's quite enough. Though I will have you know that it was YOUR scandals that drove me to it."
Mock offence washed over the young Jedi, who reared back with a hand over his heart and adopted a high pitched and innocent tone of voice. "Me? Scandalise? Drive you to indulgence?" He waved his hand and chuckled. "I hardly think so, my dear old master."
Obi-Wan didn't have the energy to argue with his wayward friend anymore. All he wanted to do was get off of this darned roof and back to safety, more importantly, normality.
"Let's just get this over with…"
The smile on Anakin's face was practically dazzling – and that was only because he had just recently had his teeth whitened – and was stretching from ear to ear. Obi-Wan raised his hand to shield in his eyes, begging the Force that the sun didn't reflect off of them and blind him. Honestly, the boy's vanity when it came to reporter interviews was unfathomable!
"Wizard, Master!"
"Never say wizard again, Anakin."
"Now all we have to do is – wait, why am I never allowed to say wizard again?"
Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose tightly and sighed, shaking his head in frustration. "Because it's insatiably irritating, Anakin."
"You love it really," the boy countered good-naturedly.
He was met with silence.
"You looooooooveeeee it…" the Chosen One repeated, this time in a sultry tone of voice, as he sauntered over to his former master, who by now had returned his gaze to him and was standing stock still. The closer he got to his former master, the more uncomfortable he began to look.
Obi-Wan's eyes widened immeasurably. His stopped breathing, his face gradually morphing from an expression of serenity into one of extreme concern. He tried his hardest not to squirm.
"Come on, master," Anakin insisted, knowing that he had his friend's undivided attention.
Obi-Wan remained defiant.
Just what other buttons was the Jedi Master hiding that he could uncover and press?
With a devilish smirk, Anakin took the final step towards Obi-Wan. Their bodies were close together, the older Jedi's breath barely touching his neck. Slowly, Anakin bowed his head, all the while stretching his right arm up to grasp the other man's arm.
"Search your feelings…"
The older Jedi flinched. Actually flinched. Anakin felt rather offended that his flirtation skills were so harshly rejected.
But it was of no matter.
The bucket was hovering right above his old master's head.
Obi-Wan was incredibly flustered. It took an enormous amount of control for him to keep his body still and not tremble with embarrassment. His blood was boiling, flaming his neck and cheeks, although he was fairly certain that he was red all over, and the tall figure of his former apprentice standing in front of him was slowly transforming into a black smear across the orange tinted sky.
In the following instant the black smear became a runny mess. The sky and ground became a blurry mess, and a freezing chill, as cold as Hoth, seeped into his skin and penetrated every bone in his body. Solid, equally as cold, objects were simultaneously bouncing off of him, yet all Obi-Wan could focus on was the cold and the sound of his own scream of absolute terror.
Auburn hair clung to his forehead, matted across his sea grey eyes, which were the only things that could show any warmth in them, for they were shooting fire at Anakin, who was stumbling backwards, laughing hysterically at the sight of a drenched Obi-Wan Kenobi and the sound of his teeth chattering.
"I'm g-g-g-glad that you… you f-f-f-f-find my ap-appea…rance… amusing…"
The Chosen One's hysterical laughter could be heard from miles away. Speeders had stopped the flow of traffic so that its occupants could see what was going on, and some Jedi were actually now climbing onto the roof themselves to witness the spectacle.
"This is… the funniest thing… EVER! I love whoever made this challenge!" The younger Jedi cried, clapping his hands. His face was now tomato red, his crystal blue eyes so wide that they looked as though they were about to pop out of his head.
Something snapped inside the Jedi Master.
The boy was oblivious to this until he heard the all too familiar snap hiss come to life before him.
Slowly, all amusement melted off of the boy's face to be replaced with slight trepidation, for standing not five feet away from him was one, practically ratted, VERY angry but doing a good job of not showing it too much, Obi-Wan Kenobi, who held his thrumming lightsaber in his right hand.
Anakin held his breath, praying that Obi-Wan wasn't going to try and kill him, yet still expecting all of the horrible things that this man could do to him to happen.
That's why he promptly fainted when he saw the unexpected: Obi-Wan had lofted the sizzling blade above his head and was using it as a hairdryer for his hair.
When Anakin came to he immediately noticed that something wasn't quite right.
Allow me to make a list of the four reasons why Anakin noticed that something wasn't quite right…
One; his head felt unusually heavy.
Two; His hands were above his head.
Three: He was tied up.
Four: He was in a very compromising position.
No, no Jedi has been introduced to the novel Fifty Shades of Grey, which somehow survived the test of time into the galaxy that we all know is far, far away and love, so you don't need to sit there anymore with your mouth hanging wide open, like you are trying to catch flies or something and think, 'holy s***'. This is NOT how Anakin has made things look like.
On the contrary, Anakin found himself listing all of these reasons for his compromising position, because in actuality, he happened to be hanging upside down and was looking directly at a very nice pair of shiny, brown boots.
"Feeling comfortable, Anakin?"
The Jedi closed his eyes and groaned at the sound of the familiar voice reverberating against his ear drums. Defeat coursed through his entire system.
"Master…"
Casting his gaze down, so that his chin was touching his chest, his crystal blue gaze locked onto the now dry and amused face of one Obi-Wan Kenobi, his hands planted firmly on his hips. He looked like he had just done the most heroic thing in the galaxy and was now striking a pompous, heroic pose.
A gust of wind met him and his master, which sent the bottom of his cloak billowing up from the ground and into the open air. It rippled like a hoisted flag, catching the younger Jedi's eye momentarily. The movement made him slightly nauseous, as though he were swinging like a pendulum. Wait…
He looked up and saw the edge of the temple roof.
"YOU HUNG ME UPSIDE DOWN OFF THE ROOF?!"
To say that Anakin was only slightly perturbed would be the largest understatement in the galactic history of understatements.
Anakin was pissed.
Royally pissed.
"And you flirted with me!" Obi-Wan countered, quick as a blaster bolt, his eyes flashing, and a deep frown etching itself between his brown eyebrows.
"You call THAT bad?!" Anakin howled, flourishing his arms about and only making his heart beat increase as the motion caused him to swing back and forth over the precarious drop. He had faced Gundarks, Nightsisters, a nightmarish Zabrak with a crazed, vengeful brother, Separatist droids, Geonosian zombies and Sith Lords, but NEVER had he felt as much fear as he was feeling now.
Obi-Wan grinned, and Anakin couldn't believe the cheek he was receiving. Obi-Wan was gloating; actually gloating.
And the crazy goon was enjoying his protégé's misery.
He began to wonder if he had turned him into a secret Sith. After all, they always seemed to tail the Jedi Master, whether it be for revenge, or because they were the master of another Jedi he was tied to and thought it would be great to turn his said grandson into a Sith and be Sith family or something. Whatever Dooku wanted it to be.
"No," Obi-Wan laughed, rubbing the side of his nose absently. "This is just getting even."
He promptly lifted a bucket and dumped its contents over Anakin's helpless form.
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Freezing cold water cascaded down him, soaking into every part of his clothing and wetting him. Ice cubes smuggled their way into his tunic and bit at his skin, chilling him to the max. Some even made it way down his pants.
And it was so that when the two Jedi were done, they walked back into the Temple, much to everyone's dismay, dripping wet and shivering. One looked very pleased with himself. The other looked like he wanted to go and live out the rest of his days on an asteroid, far away.
Anakin, to say the least, was the one who wasn't amused, for every step he took caused his boots to squelch loudly on the floor, earning him so rather nasty looks, and for the remaining water in his underpants to slosh about. The latter made him walk like a penguin.
Obi-Wan was happy, though he seemed to be having trouble walking straight and without nearly walking into his fellow Jedi, and any nearby walls.
This concerned the young Jedi, who enquired worrisomely.
"Oh, it's nothing, my dear friend," Obi-Wan grinned, and Anakin had to grab his arm to pull him inwards before he walked nose first into a gold statue. "Everything is just yellow at the moment because of your hot pink bucket you gave me."
"Seeing yellow are we, Master Kenobi?" A stern voice called out of nowhere, causing both Jedi to freeze. Anakin felt Obi-Wan's arm tense up tremendously beneath his hand.
Surprising him greatly, the older Jedi chuckled nervously and turned, very slowly, to face every Jedi's worst nightmare: Vokara Che; terrifying healer.
Out of the corner of his eye, Anakin could visibly see Obi-Wan wringing his hands nervously.
"No, Master Che. I was merely exaggerating. I - ACHOO!"
Obi-Wan hunched forward, hands covering his nose and mouth. Anakin flinched, knowing what was to come.
The blue-skinned Jedi healer looked unimpressed, her arms folded tightly across her chest, and a scrutinising glare shooting nothing but ice at the two of them.
"With me now."
Before Obi-Wan could even blink, the other Jedi had him in a Force hold and was dragging the helpless Jedi across the floor, ignoring his guttural cries for help.
Anakin watched the spectacle, mouth agape and absolutely helpless. He was NOT going to get on Vokara's bad side too. He turned, ready to make his way to his quarters, and put one foot forward….
Only to painfully walk into an invisible barrier.
Clutching his nose and squeezing his tear-filled eyes shut, Anakin groaned not for the final time that day. Annoyed, he wondered how this day could possibly get any worse.
He found his answer when he opened his eyes. Yes, it could.
He was floating off the ground and was levitating in the same direction as Obi-Wan.
Dear Force…
"Master, what are you doing!?" Anakin cried as both he and Obi-Wan were unceremoniously thrown onto separate beds.
The Jedi healer glared at Anakin like she had just caught him stealing sweets from the sweet jar.
"Checking to see if you have a cold as well, Knight Skywalker."
"I never get colds!" He protested.
Vokara looked at him with a disbelieving expression. "You get a cold every year, boy, and you both decided that it was clever to accept your challenge in the middle of winter."
"YOU HAVE TO DO IT WITHIN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS OR YOU FAIL!" The two Jedi yelled, outraged.
"NOT DOING IT MEANS GALATIC SHAME!" Obi-Wan protested, eyes wide and flickering with desperation.
"AND I WILL BE DAMNED AND ROASTED ON MUSTAFAR IF I AM SHAMED TO THAT DEGREE!" Anakin hissed vehemently.
Vokara stared blankly at them. "You are both still getting a flu jab."
"YOU HAVE NO HEART!"
In the council chambers the video was playing on full volume. The rest of the Jedi Council were sitting comfortably in their seats, sipping cups of tea and blue milk, and dunking biscuits into the former beverage, thoroughly enjoying the two Jedi's misery.
The doors opened and light bled into the darkened chamber, causing the Jedi to pause the video and look to their visitor.
"Ah, Padawan Tano," Mace Windu greeted the Togruta, surprisingly gleeful and actually showing an emotion to indicate that he was in fact a living being rather than an android. "Would you please deliver this to the news reporters? I believe we have a story that they will be most anxious to feed the public with."
The young Padawan gave a devilish grin and held her hand out. Mace placed the holodisk in her awaiting palm.
"It would be my pleasure, Masters."
As usual, things get a bit chaotic for our two favourite Jedi, and they take it to extreme measures. They both seem intent on scarring each other for life. xD
Anyway, I hope you found this one funny too. Thanks again for the requests and maybe I'll see you around in future fics! Merry Christmas, folks! :)