AN: Hey, this is my first foray into Wolfstar or any HP writing even though it is my main fandom and all I ever read. I just always thought I wouldn't do it justice, you know? But this is something I did out of boredom and then thought...hey...why not share it? So I found this survey on the internet and answered as if I was Sirius. The survey was not written by me or for fanfic so some of the questions are pretty random but I answered them all as part of the challenge. Of course I had to tweak some of them to make them wizarding and not muggle.
Back story: So James knows Sirius is in love with Remus. He wants to find out if Remus loves him too and get them together so he makes sure he wins a bet and as a reward he makes them all play this game he bought from Zonko's with quills that don't allow lies and questions that will tell him all he needs to know. They are in seventh year. You will gather this in the actual questions but I thought you should know.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are in no way mine. Nor is anything else HP related. Except a ridiculous amount of merchandise.
ZONKO'S JOKE SHOP PRESENTS
Quash-Lie Quills and Humiliating Spills!
GET THE EMBARRASSING TRUTHS OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS WITH THIS UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL SURVEY!
TEN WHATS:
1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?:
"What day is it?"
2. What did you do last night?:
Planned our Christmas prank with the marauders, went to the owlery with Moony, stole food from the kitchens with Moony.
3. What is the most important part of your life right now?:
Well I am guessing old Googly would want me to say my NEWTs right at this point but honestly? I think the question is more 'who' than 'what'.
4. What would you rather be doing right now?:
Realistically? Talking with Remus up in the Astronomy tower. We do sometimes. They are my favourite nights. But if I could choose anything? Then we wouldn't just be talking.
5. What did you last cry over?:
Wow these are personal questions huh? I'm going to fucking kill James for these bloody Quash-lies Quills. I cried last because unrequited love sucks and my best mate found out my secret. Happy?
6. What always makes you feel better when you're upset?:
A hug from my friends. A smile from Moony. Though that can make me just as miserable as it can make me happy I guess. Oh DAMN THESE QUILLS.
7. What are your plans tomorrow?:
I believe we have some prank prep to do tomorrow. Last Christmas and all, has to be good!
9. What are you worried about?:
Remus finding out. And finding it too hard to be around me.
10. What are you looking forward to most in this week?:
Friday is the day of the prank! And then Saturday when most students go home and I stay here. Just me and Remus here this holiday.
NINE HAVE-YOU-EVERS:
1. Have you ever liked someone with a girlfriend/boyfriend?:
He has had a girlfriend before. A couple actually.
2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.
3. Have you ever played on a sports team?:
Quidditch!
4. Have you ever been out of the country?:
Oh yeah, my family love to take me on lovely holidays.
6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?:
I...I've done the back-stabbing. I didn't mean it. I just...Snivellus...full moon. I have never been more sorry. I've been backstabbed by family.
7. Have you ever had the aurors called on you?:
Ha actually, surprisingly no. Not thus far. But hey, give me time, I'm working on it.
8. Have you ever dated someone younger then you?:
Dated is a strong word. Mindlessly snogged in order to keep up a reputation? Sure.
9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?:
Noooooooo! That is Moony's thing.
EIGHT WHOS:
1. Who was the last person you saw?:
Well I can still see James and Peter and Remus.
2. Who was the last person you hugged?:
James.
3. Who was the last person you wrote to?:
Remus.
4. Who was the last person to write to you?:
McGoogles. Detention note.
5. Who was your first crush?:
Merlin, I honestly don't know. Depends what you mean by the word. I've snogged a lot of girls, you know? But I guess I've never had any feelings for any of them. I reckon it's always been Remus. Ever since...well ever since fourth. Though it took me a couple of years to admit it to myself. And I wish I hadn't. Denial was less painful. James is smirking at me now. He can see me try to stop myself writing. Bloody git.
6. Who was the last person to pass a note to you?:
Prongs.
7. Who is the last person you passed a note to?
Prongs.
8. Who did you last yell at?:
Prongs. About these bloody quills.
SEVEN WHENS:
1. When was your last shower?
This afternoon. After Quidditch.
2. When did you last see your mother?
Not long enough ago.
3. When was your last hug?:
Two nights ago. When James found out.
4. When did you last dress up?:
Halloween. I was a stunning McGoogles.
5. When was the last time you cried?:
Two nights ago. When James found out.
6. When did you last go out?:
Yesterday was Hogsmeade day. This is where James got this bloody 'game' from and why he has suddenly made us all sit and do them together.
7. When were you born?:
20th October 1959.
SIX WHERES:
1. Where does your best friend live?:
James lives in Devonshire and Remus...you know actually he has never mentioned. I think it is somewhere near London. I have never been to his or Peter's house.
2. Where did you last go?:
The great hall for dinner.
3. Where did you last hang out?:
Well, here in the dormitory. Duh.
4. Where do you go to school?:
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
5. Where is your favourite place to be?:
Here. At Hogwarts. With the marauders.
6. Where did you sleep last night?:
In my room. In my bed. Dreaming I was in my room. In someone else's bed.
FIVE DO/DOES:
1. Do you like someone right now?:
For Merlin's sake, I think we have covered this already. Do you need to keep making me spell it out? Yes, alright? Yes I do.
2. Do they like you too?:
No.
3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?:
I wish I was someone good enough for him.
4. Do you know the muffin man?:
What?
5. Does the future scare you?:
Leaving Hogwarts scares me. There is a war brewing. Some of us could be lost.
FOUR WHYS:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friends?:
James is a brother to me. He took me in when my family wouldn't. He makes me laugh and is there for me if I need him. He plans the best pranks and when he isn't mooning over Evans, he is light-hearted and carefree. Peter is annoying. He follows James and me round like we are Merlin's gift to wizard kind. But...he is sweet and innocent and bumbling and can be a laugh. He is a marauder. Then there's Remus. He's...he's Remus, you know? He's...everything.
2. Why did you get this game?:
I bloody well didn't. James, the prick, thought this would be a good idea, even though he knows what truths are going to come from me, truths I do not want people finding out. But then he won chess so I had to agree to play and now he has us all using these DARN QUILLS so that we answer truthfully and then he is going to take all our answers and read them because he is a DIRTY LITTLE SHIT. You read that Prongs? I have half a mind to make you sorry for reading this by telling you all about my very graphic dream about Remus last night. Only that would just depress me and turn me on right now and you are all here. So that would be a bad move.
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?:
They are pretentious prats who think purebloods need names befitting of their 'might'. So we have astronomical names. I got Sirius because they thought I would be the brightest star of the family. I am glad I am not their brightest star. That actually turned out to be darling little Regulus.
4. Why are you doing this survey?:
Because James is fucking forcing us to as reward for his winning chess.
THREE IFS:
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?:
Well I am already an Animagus and I am already generally awesome at magic. I guess it would be cool to be a metamorphmagus. Or...like, I know it is awful being a werewolf. I see the pain Moony goes through. But maybe it would help him if I were one too. Maybe he would feel less alone if he had a friend who knew exactly what he went through and went through it with him. If it would make it any degree easier for him, then I would wish to be a werewolf too.
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?:
I would change that night. That night where I betrayed him. I did the worst thing I could have ever done. He could have become a killer that night and it would have eaten away at him forever. I didn't even stop to think of the consequences for him that night and I will regret it until my dying day.
3. If you were stranded on a desert island and could bring one thing what would it be?:
My wand. Then I wouldn't be stranded. Duh.
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVERS:
1. Would you ever be friends with someone again, who you promised yourself you never would be because they were mean to you?:
Bit of a generalised question. What had they done? I am used to people being mean to me. No one I cared about would be. Not if I didn't deserve it.
2. Would you ever shave your head to save the person you love?:
Obviously. Even though it would be a tragedy to rid the world of these luscious locks.
ONE
1. Name a dream you wish to fulfill:
To be good enough for him. To do something, be someone that could make him happy.
Do you have any tattoos? :
No.
What's the last thing you bought? :
A butterbeer.
Do you have a job? If so, where?:
No I don't.
What was your most embarrassing moment?:
Crying like a girl on the shoulder of my best mate.
What is in your pockets right now?:
My wand, 5 galleons and a dungbomb.
What was the happiest moment in your life?:
Well in a way...that week after that night, when Remus avoided me, was the worst week of my life. But the day he forgave me...it was the best feeling in the world to have him pull me into his arms and tell me he still loves me. Even if he didn't mean it how I like to pretend he did. It was the worst day of my life because I knew I didn't deserve his forgiveness. But it was the best as well.
Have you ever egged a house?:
No, that is very muggle.
Who is your role model?:
McGoogles of course! And old Dumbly, he is pretty legendary. And Remus. He is so strong and good even in the face of what he has to go through.
What's your favourite holiday?:
Christmas.
When is the last time you stayed up all night?:
Last full moon.
What is your favourite book?:
Don't tell anyone but Moony has these muggle books he loves. And I read his favourite once. Just because it was his favourite. It was called the Magician's Nephew. It was part of a series so then I read the whole series. It was such a Moony series of books, you know? Like I could almost sense him in the pages. Then I started reading these other muggle books he loved. Dickens and Shakespeare and Bronte and Austen and Gaskell and Tolkien and they all just...By Godric, James don't you ever tell anyone. Only Remus knows that I like muggle books and...it is our thing, alright? Just shut it about this one, Prongs.
Who is your favourite author?:
C.S. Lewis. He wrote Moony's favourite. Which is my favourite too.
Where did you have your last birthday party?:
In the Gryffindor common room.
Who came?:
Eeeeeeveryone. Well everyone in Gryffindor. And a couple of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. No Slytherins.
Who has changed your life the most for the better?:
James and Remus. James has given me a home and a family. Remus has made me a better man. A happier and better man. A happier and yet so much more miserable man.
What's your favourite song atm?:
I don't know actually. I don't listen to the WWN much. I'm not fussy really.
Have you ever been in the hospital for more than a day?:
Nope.
Do you like to write poetry?:
I wish I could.
Do you like to read poetry?:
Yes I do. Once, I came into the common room and Remus was reading his beloved book of Shakespeare's sonnets and he had this beautiful smile on his face. It was small, like he didn't even realise he was smiling and when I asked he said it was because it was his favourite. I asked to hear it and he looked at me like he didn't know if I was serious (he should know I am always Sirius though- hehe) but I sat down on his bed and he read it. It was beautiful. He read it so well that I am sure the words sounded even better than if Shakespeare himself had read them. And he would look up at me every so often and I pretended all the words of love were for me. When I was alone in the dormitory one day I took the book and wrote out the sonnet for myself. Now I like to read it every so often. And I remember how he read it to me that one time. As if he meant every word. Shut up, James. Please. Just...shut up.
Have you ever written a song?:
No.
What's your favourite band?:
Again, I haven't really got an extensive music knowledge. I quite like The Pumpkin Carvers.
Who is your favourite solo singer?:
Don't have one.
What is your favourite inside joke you have with a friend?:
I love how people think Remus has a badly behaved rabbit.
Name the people who know and understand that inside joke:
Remus, James and Peter.
Have you ever thrown a party in which complete strangers have attended?:
Not really, we know most of the Gryffindors, at least by sight.
Do you look more like your mother or father?:
My father.
Are you an only child?:
No.
Do you have any brothers or sisters?:
A brother. Dear little Regulus. Mummy's pride and joy.
What is your favourite colour of ink to write in?:
Black. Like me!
How tall are you?:
5"11.
What's your name again?:
Sirius Black.
What's your biggest fear?:
Wow, uh...turning into my parents. Losing the Potters. Losing him. There never being a cure for Lycanthropy. People finding out about him and shunning him. Him finding out about me. Him finding someone else. Merlin, that sounds selfish. I mean, it would kill me, you know? But so does seeing him miserable. This war that is coming. If he died...if any of them died...
Do you believe in love at first sight?:
No.
What is your lucky number?:
Uh...4? I don't know.
Who is your favourite family member?:
Andromeda. My cousin. Though good old Uncle Alphard is responsible for my disowning not leaving me bankrupt.
What is your favourite breed of dog?:
Haha now here is a question! I hope the other three all say 'black, shaggy mongrel' or I will be SEVERELY OFFENDED.
What is your favourite name for a dog?:
Padfoot, of course!
What is your favourite name for a cat?:
Uh...I am not a big cat person. They are fun to chase, yeah. But they look down on dogs too much.
Have you ever been drunk?:
Too many times, mate.
Have you ever gotten high?:
Nah.
Have you ever been on the WWN?:
Nope.
What's the worst thing you've ever done?:
We all know the answer to this one. That night. When I nearly lost him forever.
What's your favourite quote?:
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?:
Chocolate. When I have chocolate, Moons always asks for some and I always say no and then he always does the pleading eyes and then I always give him some and then he always smiles.
Who do you wish you were talking to right now?:
James. So I could tell him HOW MUCH I HATE HIM RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any nicknames that you liked that your friends no longer use?:
I'm still Padfoot. That will never die! Sometimes Remus calls me Pads. I like that. James calls me Padders when he is trying to cheer me up. My mother used to call me 'useless scum' and other variations. Oh how I miss those sweet pet names...
Who is your hero?:
Is that really different from role model? Remus. Because of the aforementioned reasons of all he goes through and still manages to be the best and strongest person I know.
What is your favourite day of the week?:
Saturday. Isn't everyone's?
What is your least favourite day of the week?:
Monday. Again….isn't that universal?
Do you like rain?:
Rain is so fun when I can transform and then shake myself off all over the others and they get so angry and chase me around but really they are laughing and it can be the most fun ever!
What is your favourite word?:
Um...mischief?
If you could visit any country, where would you go?:
I have never really had that much desire to travel. I like adventure. But I don't care where that adventure is.
Who would you want to take with you?:
Remus and James and Peter.
How old do you act?:
About 8 most of the time. That is what Moons says anyway.
How old is your best friend?:
17.
When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up?:
A Gryffindor.
What do you want to be now?:
An Auror.
Do you think you were an adorable little kid?:
I don't think, I know!
What were the names of your imaginary friends?:
I didn't have any.
Do you have any knuts sitting on your desk?:
Nope.
What is the most unique thing about your bedroom?:
Uh….I share it with a werewolf, a rat and a stag.
What colour is your pillow case?:
Gryffindor red, baby!
What are you thinking about right now?:
How best to kill James.
When was the last time you brushed your teeth?:
This morning.
Do you have a girl/boyfriend?:
No.
What is his/her name?:
I said I didn't have one and I think you could have gathered this from my answers THROUGHOUT this BLOODY POINTLESS GAME.
How long have you been together?:
James you better be scared right now. You put me through this deliberately?
Do you love him/her?:
I know you just saw my eyes, James. You saw what this is doing to me. This is the question that did it. I wish I knew why you were doing this. Remus saw too, you know. He did his concerned forehead crinkle. You bastard.
How long was your longest crush?:
It has been years. I don't know if that even counts. It...I think we all know it has well surpassed crush.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?:
I haven't.
What is your favourite emotion?:
Love. Requited love. I wish I had it.
What is the stupidest thing you've ever heard somebody say?:
Ha that time Wormtail couldn't remember the 5 signs of recognising a werewolf.
What annoys you the most?:
Fleas
Who annoys you the most?:
Snivellus, my family...James.
Do you know any gay people?
James I saw you smirking a couple of seconds ago and now I think I know why, you absolute UNICORN TURD. Other than myself, NO I FUCKING WELL DON'T.
Where did you meet them?:
Shut up.
How long have you known them?:
And again.
What's your favourite season?:
Autumn. It means coming back to Hogwarts.
What's your favourite subject in school?:
DADA.
What's your least favourite subject in school?:
Uh...that I have ever done? Divination. What a load of shit that was. I just kept seeing these floaty bits of drapery. Like that means anything.
Who is your all-time favourite teacher?:
McGoogles has my heart! Hey, what d'you know, the quills allow sarcasm.
What is your best friend's birthday?:
Both James and Remus are in March. Remus on the 10th and James on the 27th.
What is your favourite flavour of Bertie Botts Beans?:
Uh...I'm not really a huge fan. Maybe strawberries and cream?
Would you rather have friendship or love?:
I'd rather have both with the same perfect werewolf.
What makes you nervous?:
Serious (har har) conversations.
Describe yourself in five words:
Ooo um...Brave, loyal, outgoing, adventurous...smitten.
If you knew the truth was gonna hurt you would you still wanna hear it?:
I think the right answer is yes. But why do you think I haven't told Remus?
Do long distance relationships work?:
Depends on the couple.
Would you change yourself to make someone else happy?:
I'm trying to.
What one thing makes you happy?:
My friends.
What phrase or saying do you use the most?:
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Mischief managed. Some joke revolving around my name.
What would you do with a million galleons?:
Nothing really. Buy a suitable house and then invest in a cure for lycanthropy.
If your house was burning down and you could only take one thing with you, what would you take?:
Excluding my wand? My photos of us at Hogwarts. The map as well, if I had it.
Who is the biggest flirt you know?:
Ha, probably me.
Are you glad this survey is over?:
Yes. I want to kill James now.
ONE LAST LITTLE GAME:
Can you name 20 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people.
Remus Lupin
Peter Pettigrew
James Potter
Lily Evans
Snivellus
Frank Longbottom
McGoogles
Dumbledore
Marlene McKinnon
Regulus Black
Andromeda Tonks
Orion Black
Walburga Black
Fabion Prewitt
Gideon Prewitt
Ted Tonks
Trelawney
Mr Potter
Mrs Potter
Bellatrix Black
THE QUESTIONS:
• How did you meet number 10?
Regulus. Was born into the same wretched family as me.
• What would you do if 20 and 17 dated?
Trelawney and Bellatrix? Be torn between laughing my arse off and being sick all over the place.
• If you could marry either 7 or 18 who would it be?
Ha Mc-G or Mr Potter? McGoogles of course! My heart is hers, always!
• Have you ever seen 4 cry?
Evans? Yes. Angry tears.
• Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
Evans and my bastard father? NO! Sick thought.
• Would number 1 and 20 make a good couple?
My Remus and that bitch? If that ever happened...I...I...there would be death. Painful death. And tears. And vomit.
• Describe 8:
No way I can describe the Big D. How can you? He is practically just this massive beard of wisdom.
• Do you like 12?
My father, no.
• Tell me something about 17:
Trelawney is crazy.
• What's 7's favourite colour?
Ah my dear McGonagall. Green? I actually just made that up. I don't know.
• What would you do if 1 just confessed they like you?
Is this whole game against me? How has he come up so many times? I'd...I'd not believe it. And if he...Merlin if he meant it. I'm not sure I would be able to stand, or speak, or breathe. Godric, my heart is thumping so loud now that I am sure the others can hear me across the room. James has finished already and he is...he is watching me. I hope he can hear my thoughts as I threaten him with my eyes right now. My heart is beating like he really did just confess the impossible. James when you read this...none of this helped me with this whole thing. And yesterday you said you wanted to help. I don't understand why you did this.
• When was the last time you talked to number 15?
Gideon. I think I said hello in the corridor once when I was in like second year.
• How do you think 19 feels about you?
Mrs Potter. I hope I can be a second son to her. She is the only mother I have ever had.
• What language does 13 speak?
My mother speaks Pureblood drivel.
• What year is 16 in?
Ted was in Andy's year. They are a few years older than me, I forget how many.
• What is 6's favourite music?
Frank? You know, I could not tell you.
• Would you ever date 3?
Over my dead body. James? I think I would rather the Giant Squid. No offense, mate.
• Is 10 single?
Regulus? How should I know or care?
• What is 11's last name?
Andromeda Tonks these days! Good for her.
• Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 7?
I have been trying to get my darling Minerva to accept my hand for years!
• Where does 18 live?
Mr Potter lives in Devonshire.
• What do you think about 20?
Bellatrix. I hate her.
•What is the best thing about 4?
Evans...she loves our Prongsie.
• What would you like to tell 14 right now?
Fabian... I would congratulate him on his classic prank of '74.
• How did you meet 9?
Marlene was a Gryffindor. There was some meaningless snogging in a broom cupboard.
• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
Best thing: Peter. He is one of us.
Worst thing: He needs to grow a pair.
• Are you going to know 3 forever?
James Potter is my soul brother. (Not now though. Now he is my ENEMY)
•Would you ask number 5 out ?
Snivellus? Excuse me while I kill myself at the thought.
• What word comes into your head when you think of number 9?
Gryffindor.
AN: So...there we have it! If you want more, if enough people ask, I will do Remus's answers as well. And then if THAT does well then maybe I will write about what actually happens next. But yeah. We will see. I hope I got Sirius right. And for any Shoeboxers reading this, there are a few references in there that I put in just for you! Also this doccument is a mess and I don't know how to solve that...so I apologise if it is hard to read. It is so neat and lovely on the word document!