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A small note, here. Thank you to Pied Flycatcher for the minor edits you pointed out to me. :)
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There was the absence of movement here, on the deck. No clicking of Barret's gun arm, no tinkling that usually accompanied Red as he walked along steel pathways, the steady rumble of Vincent's voice was absent ... the chirpy hint in Yuffie's voice didn't bounce off the walls anymore. Even Cait's annoying clicks when he foretold a fortune ... that sound was gone as well. The smell of Cid's cigarettes still lingered though, faintly, if you tilted your head just so to get a whiff of it.
It was so quiet. Too quiet. It was just the two of them. It had never been just the two of them. Sure, people had been around, and it was convenient to get distracted then. It was easy to get interrupted by someone else, your once intimate conversation railroaded over with the next question or exclamation. And now? There was no room for that. No excuse.
They could talk all they wanted now. But they didn't, of course. Not right away. But the silence was poignant enough, heavy with unsaid meanings. Even the crew had deserted them, it was just the two of them on the deck. Cloud, leaning against the control panels, his face a subdued mask of emotion and Tifa, eyes downcast, hands fiddling mercilessly with her gloves.
After a long, long pause, it was Cloud who finally suggested something - much to Tifa's surprise.
"Want to watch the sunrise?"
The slow shock radiated over Tifa's face like a balm. What? ... "But ... it's not even close to night yet."
But Cloud was already heading out, his back to her.
"I know that, Tif." He stopped momentarily. "I don't think I'll get much sleep on a night like tonight. I just figured ..."
Tifa smiled softly. "Okay. Okay, Cloud. Sure. I'd love to."
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Tifa sat with her knees drawn tightly up to her chest, her arms tucked around them. She shivered slightly in the cool dusky air which swept over the planes. The airship bobbed in the distance, it's lights flickering, then dimming, then brightening again. The motion was almost soothing. She scooted over on the coarse grass, shifting closer to Cloud. If he noticed her subtlety, he didn't speak on it.
She glanced to her left, studied the lines of his face. Her mouth opened, closed and opened again. Tifa faced forward again, watching the night sky framed with winking stars for a moment longer. We can't just sit in silence for the whole night ... Tifa reasoned, smoothing a hand over her face as if to reassure herself. Finally, she spoke the question she'd been thinking for quite sometime.
" ... Cloud?" Her voice came out low, plaintive.
He looked abruptly, and she was swallowed whole by the depth in his gaze.
She took a steadying breath, collecting herself. Her heart was in her head - it seemed - because it was beating so loudly. She could taste the uncertainty in her breath. She could feel it on her tongue. The surging feelings within her were so strong, she didn't think she could fight them. It was so close, so close on the tip of her tongue that she just wanted to blurt everything out but something held fast within her, curbing her words.
"Hn, Tif?"
"What ... " What do you feel for me, Cloud? Pregnant pause as she licked her lips. "What are you thinking of?" Was what she said instead.
His mouth twisted into a small, small wicked smirk, the smirk she faintly remembering him possessing as a child.
"Lots of things, Tifa." Then he averted his eyes again, and fixed on some unknown destination.
Silence. The shuffling of her feet and a long sigh.
" ... What if I'm not strong enough?" His voice was deep, husky and filled with doubt.
Cloud's right fist clenched venomously, his face tight.
Tifa looked over to him worriedly then, her brow furrowed, and her thoughts scattered with his next statement.
"Or what if I lose it again? What if I can't make it to ... ?" He interrupted, shaking his head so violently that her eyes widened.
Silence. Thick, deafening.
"But you won't." Tifa said firmly.
Cloud recoiled, his glinting eyes whirring to her so fast she nearly flinched. "How do you know?" He fiercely whispered.
"Because ... I believe in you, Cloud." It was the closest she could come without saying how she really felt. It felt dangerous, reckless, saying those six little words that she said instead of saying those three little special ones that she wanted to - I love you - but her heart was pounding again within her tightening chest and the blood was rushing through her veins as if she had confessed. It was almost enough to make her lightheaded. Almost. But his eyes which held her own - those marvelous, swirling eyes - tethered her, kept her grounded and in the moment.
He couldn't find the words to express what that statement meant to him. So he just sat in stunned silence, unable to break her gaze. Cloud didn't need a heartfelt confession to add to his worry. It would only add to his mounting confusion. To break through his doubt, he needed encouragement and support, things she was more then willing and able to give. Pushing past present emotion, she spoke, forcing the words past her lips and tongue.
"You are strong enough. Look how far you've come already, Cloud ... "
"But I nearly broke," he protested, quietly.
Tifa's voice wavered - slightly - with the force of her newly found conviction. "But you didn't break, did you? You still found the strength to hang on. The strength to fight, even after ... all those years ago in Nibelheim, even now, after what happened in the Lifestream ... you still have the will to fight, despite everything. You can't be this close now and start to doubt yourself. Not when there is so much on the line. Not with so many lives at stake." Her hand reached out and pointed to Meteor, glowing red and twisting angrily in the distant horizon. "And not when we have that to worry about. The Planets future depends on you. It depends on us, Cloud."
Cloud ran a hand - a faintly tremoring hand - through his hair, and scoffed. "Tifa ... "
The blood was still rushing to her head after her spiel. "Hmm?"
"After Mideel ... I never got to thank ..."
Tifa held up a gloved hand, effectively cutting him off. "Don't." She smiled gently, reassuringly. "Thank me after."
Nothing else needed to be said.
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The first thing she noted was how warm it was, and how luxurious that beckoning warmth felt against her skin. She leaned closer into it, nuzzling her face against it. A low rumble - the sound of a throat clearing - momentarily jerked Tifa from her slumber. She mumbled in protest, her fist clutching into a soft garment and shook her head defiantly. The rumble came again, low and close to her ear this time.
"Tifa?" The voice was questioning, amused and enthralled at all once.
The voice cut straight to her gut and she realized who - not what - she had been snuggling against so adamantly. Tifa was so content, and it felt too good to lose this. Not now. "Just ... just let me have this moment." She whispered pleadingly. Last night, he hadn't realized she had fallen asleep until she'd slumped against him. And he hadn't lasted much longer, succumbing to the sleep he hadn't known he needed.
Cloud fell into obedient silence, sparing her a glance through half lidded eyes. Through the strain of recent days, it didn't make it's mark on her visage. Her face was relaxed - even blissful - in sleep. Tifa had a fistful of his sweater and she had burrowed quite comfortably into his shoulder. He took a deep breath of the brisk morning air. They spoke few and far between last night, but it wasn't how much they spoke, it was the meaning behind each word. And despite their past, she stood by him now. That was the most important thing.
He shifted a bit, and Tifa mumbled something unintelligible. He really hated to wake her, but the sun was blazing trails across the sky, sending the morning horizon into a spanning riot of colors. This could be the last sunrise he saw ... Cloud nudged her gently and whispered; "The sunrise, Tif. You're going to miss it ... " That caused her to stir and sit up, allowing the easy pressure of his arm encircling her waist to fall.
Blearily, she blinked into the blaring sunrise. Through her rapidly clearing eyes, she could make out the yellow ball of the sun streaking trails of blue, yellows and pinks along the rapidly lightening sky. Tifa rapidly took in air, taking in the abrupt peace that filled her. She relished in said peace, because she knew it was fleeting. Not unlike the sunrise. Beautiful when it lasts, but tragically temporary. It was then that it hit her. This was the first real time she'd ever seen the sunrise. The first time she'd really looked at it. And it was beautiful. She was grateful to have shared it with him.
It was then that Cloud finally turned to her, his haunted eyes glimmering with something different.
Hope, maybe? She could only wish it so.
The kiss of the sun was forcing Tifa from the depths of sleep. She yawned languidly and stretched. Cloud rose first, uttering something about getting back, and she nodded in response. As quickly as it came, the calm haze that had settled over Tifa slowly shattered. There was still so much to be done ... When she looked up, she was met with Cloud's outstretched hand. Smiling sleepily, she took it and stood.
The sun greeted their backs as together, they trudged back over the grassy hill towards the Highwind.
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