PLEASE READ BOLD PRINT FIRST BECAUSE IT'S RUDE TO SKIP MY FEELINGS! :P
I wrote this on another account on Quizilla (if you recognize it, feel free to message me because I honestly don't mind), but since I was deleting my account for lack of use (and that some of my stories on there were, in my opinion, too good to be left up for grabs by others) I decided to instead post it on here so that people could still read it if they ever felt like it. HOWEVER, I fixed grammar/spelling mistakes and also added/deleted things that I felt were either out-of-character, too alternate universe, or simply because I didn't feel like having a sex scene in this story.
WARNING: Very angsty (which was typical of my style of writing on Quizilla) and rather depressing. Suggested violence and mental trauma and sexual themes. YAOI! MALExMALE LOVE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
CAUTION: Characters may be out-of-character (OoC) and story may not fit into the timeline of the anime, therefore may be considered to be 'alternate universe' (AU) (though aren't all Fanfiction stories AU?).
ALSO: based on the 2003 anime (of which at the time was my only reference material for this). Any other stories like this that will come from me will be based on the 2009 anime (since I haven't read the manga).
That's enough of a lead-in. Go read. :D
Roy felt groggy the moment he opened his sore eyes. Blood was oozing from his mouth and nose. He could feel the bruises that laced his ribcage and tormented his back and chest. Nausea stung his stomach, making him want to gag.
Around him, the room was dark and emotionless.
He blinked and tears ran down his cheeks, stinging his marred skin.
Vainly, he tried to remember what had happened.
At first, no thought came to his sluggish mind, but then recollections began to pool across his vision. Hadn't he been in his bathroom in his house in Central? Having just finished shaving he had reached for his shirt. He had been getting ready for another hard day of researching Hughes's death, as much as he had loathed the tedious task due to the emotional strain it put on him. The reminder of his best friend's death brought up tingles of emotions in his throat and gut, but he fought them back.
What had happened after he had reached for his shirt? He didn't remember ever putting it on, but upon looking down he found it was now buttoned upon his torso. What had happened?
He sighed, but the action burned his throat.
"Hey..." He managed to croak. "Is...anyone...nn...there?"
He tried to move his arms and found them chained behind his back to the wall he was pressed against. A cloth was wrapped tightly over his hands, forcing them into fists, making even scratching out a transmutation circle impossible. Though he was aware his situation called for him to be panicking, he found he couldn't muster up any fear, even as he resorted to calling out for aid.
"Help..."
"Now why would anyone help you?" A voice laughed sarcasticly and Roy slowly turned his throbbing head to peer at the crazy-haired young man who had spoken to him.
The crazy-haired individual was sitting on an oil drum and looked every bit as comfortable as someone at home in their environment. A liquid devious smile had spread across thin lips and the pose the lithe youth was in suggested relaxation about to explode into action.
"Who...who're you?" Roy gasped at the sharp pain in his chest.
"The name's Envy." The young man smiled as he held a hand pointedly to his chest. "I hear you're Roy Mustang, the Colonel that is causing so much mayhem. You work with Fullmetal, right? Funny. With your sarcastic rule-abiding superiority-complex-infused personality, I'm surprised the pipsqueak can even be in the same room as you. How do you two stand each other?"
"What do you want?" Roy tried to order sternly, but his voice ended in a whisper. He gulped for air. For some reason, it was hard to breathe.
"Go easy, Colonel." Envy chuckled, his eyes slanted and daring as he leapt with ease off of his perch. "I've been told to eliminate you."
Roy frowned despite the pain it caused him. "W-why?"
He felt he should be more afraid at this moment, but his mind was still crawling through each sentence they exchanged in an attempt to keep up and his body was purely exhausted.
"'Cuz you're a nuisance to a certain someone in the military." Envy stepped closer. "Do you know where we are?"
"I...haven't a clue..." Roy mumbled. He did not like the look in Envy's eyes nor the tone of the young man's voice.
"Well, then I'll tell you."
Envy walked up to Roy and leaned against him then raised himself up on tip-toe, the action causing Mustang to realize he was standing with a rope around his chest to keep him stationary.
"Laboratory 5." He whispered into Roy's ear.
Roy stiffened. The Fuhrur had labeled Lab 5 as unsafe. People weren't aloud inside.
"You idiot!" Roy fumed then he coughed in pain, wincing with every motion.
"Not too kind, are you." Envy chided, having not moved away from Roy. "Mmmm...I like the feel of your body."
Roy's mouth dropped open, mind paralyzed with shock.
"Oh, by the way," Envy smiled coyly. "I'm a Homunculus and you're hotter than fire, Flame boy!"
Roy jerked away as best he could, pain shooting through his body, then he yelped when Envy clawed his already wounded face.
"Please, Colonel!" Envy mocked. "I need a real man!"
With that, the Homunculus proceeded to undress Roy, which was more like having his clothes shredded off of him. When Roy was bare of clothing, Envy again pressed himself against him.
"Ohhhhh...I like your feel. You're so warm and muscular. Wrath and Greed would never let me do this and Gluttony is so fat and ugly. I might have fallen for Lust if I liked women, but men like you are my type. Mmmmm..."
Despite the compliments falling from his lips, Envy retained a sarcastic tone as if each word was a lie.
Roy winced when Envy licked his nipple.
"Don't..."
Envy ignored him and began to kiss Roy everywhere, starting with his feet and working his way up. The Homunculus let his hands search every nook and cranny of Roy's body, pausing in places he most enjoyed. Roy stiffened as Envy kissed his lips, his tongue invading immediately and without invitation. Roy was trapped, helpless, by a perverted Homunculus!
Riza slammed her fist onto the desk and Falman and Havoc jumped.
"Someone must have, at least, found a clue!"
"A bloody bathroom, an open window, and no fingerprints." Falman counted off the short list. "There really wasn't a struggle. He must have been hit hard enough to knock him out or...kill him instantly...then dragged off. There really isn't anything else."
"No witnesses?" Riza asked, flustered.
"None." Havoc sighed as he lit another cigarette. "No one saw or heard anything. Even the dogs found nothing. No scent."
"He's been gone for an entire week!" Riza found herself screaming.
"That doesn't make the search any easier." Falman stated factually as Havoc stood up.
"Hawkeye..." Havoc mumbled and then she fell into him.
"Hold me." She cried into his chest. "Please, just hold me."
Havoc put his arms around her and pulled her closer. He had never seen her so helpless before and that worried him enough to reassure her despite the evidence. "Hawkeye, we'll find him."
Riza sighed sadly. "But I promised that I would watch his back. Now he's in danger, hurt...maybe, even killed."
"Don't talk like that." Havoc felt like giving up hope outright too, but he instead kept it in. He had to be strong...for Riza and the others. "We don't know that yet. We'll find him. We don't know what's happened. Let's keep this positive."
"Why?" Riza began to sob. "I feel so weak! We should have known something like this was going to happen with Hughes having been killed. Roy was bound to be next, especially since he was snooping around the case! We should have been there for him!"
"And what would we do? Hmmm?" Havoc rested his cheek upon the top of her head. "It's not like we could move in with him."
Riza swallowed then tugged Havoc as close as she could. "I'm scared...for him and everyone else...like the Elric Brothers. We should call Fullmetal and warn him about what is going on around here..."
"News of Hughes's death just hit him!" Falman blurted then he blushed. "I'll leave you two for the moment."
"We need to tell him." Riza stated when Falman was gone.
"All right." Havoc frowned. "But I don't like it. He'll have a heartattack knowing that his chief supporter is, well, missing and all."
"You were going to say "dead", weren't you?" Riza asked in a wet voice, but he never had a chance to answer.
"Lieutenants!" Armstrong, followed by Fury, Breda, and Falman, shouted as he burst through the door.
"Sir!" They both saluted, Riza nearly loosing her right hand as she smacked Havoc in the shoulder during the process.
"They've found him!" Armstrong bellowed.
"Who? Where? When?" Riza ran right up to the Major.
"A search party found him early this morning." Armstrong quickly explained. "He went berserk when one of the soldiers touched him. He's badly wounded...they..."
His hesitation provoked an encouraging "Well?" from Riza.
He cleared his throat and finished with a mumbled, "They found him naked."
Gasps went round as they all inhaled as one.
"Where was he?" Riza demanded.
"He..." Armstrong looked down at the ground. "He was in Lab 5. He's already been taken to the hospital."
Riza rushed out the door without looking back as Armstrong finished with, "He's in pretty bad shape and the doctors...can't...seem to figure out what's...wrong."
She was already gone and the remaining soldiers began to follow her, though not at a dead run.
"What were you two up to?" Armstrong asked after a prolonged silence and Havoc held up his hands defensively, his cheeks blushing.
"Oh, nothing, Major!" He responded quickly, waving off the Major's questioning look with a shaky hand.
Riza arrived at the hospital and made short demanding conversation with a nurse before she was led to a room. She gently edged the door open and peeked inside. Roy lay upon a bed, his eyes closed and his breathing soft. He would have appeared peaceful if it weren't for the leather straps belting him down. She turned to the nurse.
"Why is he restrained?"
"He's gone insane every single time the doctor has gotton near him." The nurse explained, her voice deep and her eyes sorrowful. "He even manged to give the doctor a giant gash upon his chin."
Riza frowned then entered the room. She tip-toed up to Roy's side and stared down at his sleeping face. He was badly wounded and the nurse quickly explained that the doctors had been unable to patch up his features while he was awake. His face was cut up and bruised, but he apparently had no life-threatening injuries. In fact, the battery wasn't even enough to warrant a forced surgery.
She felt tears forming in her eyes as she gently placed her fingertips upon his forehead.
Roy's eyes flashed open. He had been sleeping to rid himself of the pain and to pass the time, but now Envy was back. He was sure of it!
A screech scorched from his throat as he fought against the straps Envy undoubtedly must have restrained him with given Roy's increasing struggle by each passing day. Why did Envy enjoy torturing him and for what purpose did it serve?
His eyes bugged out when he saw the form Envy had chosen for this occassion: Riza. He jerked back. She was the worst!
"No! Not again, you bastard!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "Stay back! What do you want this time? I...I can't take anymore! I just can't! Monster! Help! Please! Can't somebody find me?"
Riza stared at Roy, her eyes wide and amazed. He was going crazy! She reached to stop him because she didn't want him to hurt himself, but he snapped at her hand. His teeth dug deeply into her soft skin, splurting blood. She felt a yelp begin to well up in the back of her throat, but she restrained it as she yanked out her gun and used it as a battering weapon upon his head. He released her palm.
"Envy..." Roy mumbled as he spat out the blood swishing in his mouth. "Your form may change, but your heart is still black. It will always be black."
Riza gaped at him as the nurse grabbed her hand. She did not even feel it.
"Envy..." She mumbled dazedly.
Armstrong and Havoc entered the room and stared at the sight before them, stunned. Both frowned.
"Is he all right?" Havoc asked slowly and with uncertainty.
Roy's eyes widened as sweat began to form upon his brow.
"Wait!" He gasped as he looked at the three in both horror and confusion.
There was no way that Envy could be all three and Mustang knew this, but quickly realized the Homunculus must be playing some new trick onhim.
"No! damn you, Envy! Why do you do this? You...you just like to torment me? Kill me, please!"
Roy began to quiver uncontrollably.
Armstrong reached out a hand to comfort Roy, but the maddened man tried to bite him. His hand jolted back and then raised instinctively to strike. "Why...you need some sense knocked into you!"
Roy cringed, preparing for the blow that Envy was about to inflict.
There was a long pause and Roy looked up at the bewildered form of Armstrong. What was with Envy today? He was acting stranger than before in a completely un-Envy-like manor.
"Roy..." Armstrong shook his head slowly. "What happened to you?"
Roy's eyes began to fill with tears he normally would never have shed as he finally reached a wonderful and terrible conclusion: these people were not Envy. They were really who they really were.
"Oh, God..." He mumbled, choking on himself. "Oh, God...it is really you..."
He buried his face into his hands as he begged suddenly, "Please, just leave me alone...and bring me...bring me...just bring me Edward, please..."
Edward frowned as he rubbed the back of his head. The phone call Havoc had given to him had consisted of mumbled curses, sighes, and blibber blabber of which Full Metal could only dicifer, "Roy...in...something of a bad...shape...kidnapped...beat...hurt...wounded... freaking out...you...board next train... come...damn...to Central..." and that was after two hours of listening to nonsense and not getting a word in edgewise. He still did not understand, but, when he asked for Riza, she had only cried into the phone. Hearing her, of all people, cry like that made him certain this wasn't some scam to get him back to Central. Armstrong had refused to talk over the phone and everyone else was apparently off doing errands.
"Brother?" Alphonse asked from the seat across from him. "What do you think is wrong with the Colonel?"
"I don't know." Edward sighed, playing with his watch as he stared half-mindedly out the window. "But if it made First Lieutenant Hawkeye bawl like a baby then it has to be serious..."
His voice trailed off as he began to get lost in the mind-stumbling question: What had happened?
"We've arrived, brother." Al said what felt like was a few minutes later, though the Fullmetal Alchemist was sure much more time had passed.
Edward, still lost in thought, made his way off the train and towards headquarters. If Riza was this upset and Havoc this disoriented and Armstrong this subdued then something seriously awful must have happened to the Colonel. He wasn't dead (that would not have bothered Ed too much) or Havoc would have said so, Edward figured...maybe...
"Major Edward Elric, sir!"
He looked up to find a saluting Kain Fury.
"Oh..." He frowned at the serious look on the man's face. "What's up?"
"You're here to see the Colonel?" Fury asked, trying to keep his face straight, but the look of distraught in his eyes was trying to destroy his disguise.
"I'd like to see someone who can tell me what is going on!" Edward thundered.
Fury flinched. "Well, Major...anyone who might be able to tell you anything substantial is at the hospital..."
"Then take me there!" Edward snarled.
Fury nodded then led the way to the hospital in a silence only a bustling city could offer.
Once there, it took them a few minutes to get lost before they talked three nurses and a doctor into getting them even more lost and finally getting directions from a janitor, who turned them completely around, causing them to accidently stumbling upon the correct hallway.
Riza, Havoc, Armstrong, Falman, Breda, Gracia, Elysia, and Sheska were all sitting or standing in the corridor outside of Roy's door. Edward raised a brow at this and Havoc answered his unasked question.
"No one can be in the same room as him unless he's knocked clean out." He explained in his ever-casual tone, but there was a stiffness to the edge of it that had never been there before, even during the Nina incident two years prior. "We don't know what's happened to him, but he was kidnapped by a freak he's been calling Envy and whatever this guy did to him it was pretty bad. He's beat up and won't even let the doctors or nurses at him. He's been put in restraints to protect everyone else, but it's not doing him any good. He's only asked to see one person..."
Havoc paused then, despite knowing the answer, Ed asked, "Who?"
"You..." Was the straight-foreward and simple reply.
Roy sat staring at the ceiling above him.
Though he wasn't positive if he was dreaming it or not, Roy was sure Envy had visited him every night since he had arrived in the hospital, despite the three guards stationed at his window outside and at his door. Since he had rebuked his friends because he couldn't stand looking at them and since he was in restraints for trying to kill the doctor, he couldn't really do anything except let Envy do whatever Envy felt like doing, which often enough included the Homunculus posing as someone working at the hospital (or someone dearer like Riza) and then Envy raping and beating all sense out of the Colonel. The only proof he had that this was really happening was the added pain mixing with the dull reminder of his older wounds and the absolute horror on the faces of the hospital staff every morning when they came in to check on him. They, however, were convinced the wounds were self-inflicted from his nightly struggle with the constraints, especially since the guards testified to no one entering or exiting the room. Perhaps, he mused, they were right.
Roy shuddered, partially with the jogging memory of Envy's visits and partially with a growing fear that he really was going crazy.
The door opened and Roy flinched as he waited for his tormenter to enter; instead the form of Edward edged into the room.
Relief flooded onto Roy's face as tears welled up in his eyes. This "Edward" could very well be Envy, but the Homunculus had never beat him using this form. In fact, he had done the opposite and bandaged his wounds. The Edward-form had always comforted him, kissed him gently, loved him slowly, caressed him softly, and made him feel safe and well. Undoubtedly, there was a malicious reason behind such an act, but Roy had always pushed that thought aside and dreamed of snuggling down with the Edward-form: his sweetheart nurse.
Chills raced up his spine.
The bewildered look that stung the features of the Edward-form before him proved this was the real Edward. The real Edward would never understand Roy's feelings given that he was a child and an outsider to the pain inflicted upon the Colonel. How could he even if he did understand and he was an adult?
"Colonel..." Edward choked, skipping all formalities as he shut and locked the door behind him. "What the hell did Envy do to you?"
Roy closed his eyes and shook his head. "Please, Ed...don't ask. Ignore what you see here. I merely requested your presence because I can't see any other way for me to return to my work if I can't even have people in my office. As you are the only one my mind's eye can trust, I am requiring you give up your current hunt for the time being until I am more at ease with my new...predicament."
There was silence as Edward stared at him, digesting all of this. Roy half-expected the youth to fly off the handle at the suggestion he abandon his hunt for a way to return his brother's body back to him, but he hoped the more logical side of the young alchemist would present itself in this moment when only logic and understanding were permitted.
Edward shuffled slowly towards Roy's bedside all the while talking. "Tell me what happened. You don't have to be worried. I'm not Envy."
Roy frowned as he opened his eyes to stare up at Edward when the young state alchemist stopped at his side.
"You knew about Envy's abilities?"
"Haven't you read any of Hughes's reports yet?"
Roy paled. Now that he thought of it, Hughes had mentioned a Homunculus that could change its shape to look like others...even imitate their voices.
"Colonel," Edward grabbed the railing on the side of Roy's bed as determination filled his golden eyes. "I can help, but only if you tell me what he did."
"Fullmetal..."
Roy began to cry, startling the youth into backing away a couple of steps. It took a few moments for the colonel to compose himself enough to begin retelling the story.
"It was horrible! So horrible!" He began to sob, his body shaking as he spoke. "He...he would turn into others, people I knew, and he...he would beat me! Beat me! Hard! I've never felt such pain before!"
Seeing a grown man in such a state, Edward was at a loss for words and this silence only increased in duration due to the alchemist realizing that Roy was not just a fullgrown man, but also a celebrated Hero of Ishval and one of the few people Edward saw as a real 'man', which meant someone who would never ever openly cry like this.
"Did he...did he do anything else, Colonel?" Edward asked abruptly and Roy shook his head after a long hesitation.
It was no surprise that Edward didn't believe him.
"Don't lie, Colonel." Fullmetal was surprised by his own collected calm and demand for the full truth.
Roy hesitated.
Would Edward understand? Likely not...but he had to tell someone or let the wounds fester inside of him until he cracked.
"Fullmetal..." He whispered, new tears filling his eyes. "He...used everyone from Riza to Havoc to the Fuhrur to the florist I dated a few weeks ago and he...he used them to..."
Would Edward understand?
Roy wasn't sure, anxiety nearly stopping him from finishing his sentence. Ed was just a kid! Roy shouldn't throw such a heavy burden on his shoulders!
Edward was strong though. He shouldered the loss of his mother and disappearance of his father and the fact his brother was a soul tied to a suit of armor and that he, himself, was missing both his arm and his leg. Though life kept throwing curveballs his way, he managed to get shoulder his way through each trial and come off better than he had been before.
This was enough reason for Roy to finally whisper, "He raped me..."
Edward's eyes grew wide. "Even as Armstrong?"
Roy nodded weakly.
"By Truth..."
Edward had not expected this. Raped? Envy had truly wanted to hurt Roy and by damaging his ego, Envy had ultimately succeeded...and that made Edward feel sick, even more sick than he had felt the moment the 'r' word had left the Colonel's lips.
"Fullmetal..." Roy croaked and Edward's mind snapped away from its adventure. "Don't hate me."
"I don't." Edward stated hastily then realized how soft he sounded. Quickly, he questioned, "Did he...well...did he use me?"
"N-not in the same way." Roy blushed with embarrassment at what he was telling Ed, now confronted with the possibility of horror from Edward at hearing this new development. "He used your form only to bandage me and...t-to be nice to me..."
"Like?" Ed found himself asking. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could barely breathe. Even though Roy had been with Envy, he had been staring at Edward. By the amount of red blazing upon Roy's cheeks and the sheepish look creeping onto Roy's features, Ed could tell Roy had enjoyed "Edward", which meant those feelings likely still resided inside of him.
"I..." Roy fought within himself. "I...can't tell you..."
"Tell me, Colonel." Edward gritted his teeth to keep from yelling. Why did he feel so afraid all of a sudden?
Roy sighed. "Fullmetal...you...I-I mean...he was very careful when he l-looked like you. You would...h-he would be careful with me, gently help me. You...I-I mean..."
"Just say whatever's easiest." Edward snapped with irritation as his rising nervousness got the better of him. "I'll know what you mean!"
"W-well," Roy stuttered. Seemingly disoriented by the outburst, it took him a few seconds to reorganize his thoughts and put them into words. "Y-you would always be nice...h-hold me when I cr...er...l-lost it and s-soothed me. Y-you kissed me gently and n-never forced me to do anything I w-was unfit for or d-did not want to do. I felt...s-safe with you around...and I...uh...I l-lov...liked you..."
Edward wanted to run as far away as he could, but he forced himself to remain even though he had no idea what motivation or purpose was gluing him in place.
"Do...do you still feel that way, Colonel?"
The desireful look Roy tried to hide froze the blood in Edward's veins.
The next thing he knew was the world spinning as he raced out of the hospital at a near sprint. The echoes of familiar voices calling his name eroded at his ears for a little while then he was gone, running as far and as fast as he could before finally collapsing, panting, under a tree several minutes later. Tears had welled up in his eyes at some point during his travel, but he didn't know exactly when nor why they had appeared.
Only one thought prowled his mind: Roy had fallen for him, be it love or lust, and it had not even been him!
Roy sobbed for hours after Edward had dashed from the room, a sickened look in the boy's eyes. Despite all inner objections, he had trusted Ed and, in a way, Fullmetal had betrayed him. Now, Roy merely prayed that Ed didn't leak this information out to everyone else, not only for the man's pride, but also because he didn't want them to worry more than they needed to. Enough damage had already been caused to his men.
Eventually, he fell into fitful sleep. He dreamed of Envy attacking him again, forcing pleasure upon him on top of excrusiating pain. He moaned aloud in his sleep, unaware that Edward sat beside him.
Edward frowned when Roy moaned in both agony and pleasure. There was no doubting what Roy dreamed, but only one who knew what Edward now knew would have been able to discern this. A sickening feeling rose into the pit of his stomach. Roy had trusted him and so that was one reason why he had come back; though, also because Roy had no one else to turn to because the colonel literally could not trust anyone else. It would likely take years and years of hard diligent labor to undo even a smidgen of what Envy had accomplished during Roy's captivity, but Ed had no doubt the man would try to push himself to get over it much sooner. Even then, it was only a small chance.
For some reason, tears began to form in Ed's eyes; however, he had no idea why. He held no respect for the colonel and definately no love. Roy Mustang had harassed him, belittled him, used him for various reasons (such as to rise in rank or catch the Fuhrur's attention for an increased chance to rise in rank), and he had barely supported Edward, but...Roy was still human and, Edward hated to admit it, Roy still had emotions, despite his cold-hearted guise. This concept was coupled with the strange reality that Edward was associated with Roy, which made the colonel almost a friend, even a figure to look up to if Ed really wanted to. He had trusted Mustang with his own secrets and he knew, despite all appearances to the contrary, that the colonel meant well to the country and to each individual.
Right now, Roy needed assurance and, even though Edward wouldn't have minded if Roy went on and did, someone to keep the colonel from killing himself.
Roy shifted slightly so that his face was towards Edward.
In a way, the colonel was beautiful, Edward decided. His eyes were closed, but not so much that they were sealed doors, more like curtains drawn merely to dim the brightness of day instead of extinguishing it like shutters. His skin, though, currently marred, held a moon-like luster about it that made his eyes either more sad or more serious, depending on the moment. His hair was a black mess at the time, but Edward realized he had always liked its awkward unorderly crop.
A chill ran up his spine.
If he was correct, he had liked and now still liked the way Roy normally did his hair.
Warnings flashed through his head. He realized with more and more dread that he might end up having to sacrifice his own desires in order to save the colonel. His stomach tightened again then he grabbed some gauze from the stand beside the man's bed. It was about time someone truly and fully took care of Roy's wounds.
Roy awoke to someone wrapping bandages around his head. He was shocked to find Edward gently securing a strip and then Fullmetal paused to observe his work, his hands upon his hips and his legs spread ever so slightly apart. As Edward studied his work, Roy studied Edward.
The Fullmetal Alchemist had a fascinating body. Well-preportioned, toned, slightly muscular, and slightly lean, Edward was a perfect combination of muscle, childish softness, and lethal prowess...at least, in Roy's eyes. A stubborn manliness blazed in Ed's golden eyes, but fresh innocence marked his almost exotic face. Experiance haunted his actions, especially since he carried around two heavy automail limbs to reveal his past idiotic choices...still, that smirking casual grin that commonly scarred Edward's face sent thrills coursing through Roy's abdomen.
"Oh! Roy." Edward's voice piped into existance, shattering Roy's thoughts. "You're awake. I just finished bandaging you up. Envy must have really been harsh. I've never seen anyone so badly beaten up, but nothing you'd need a doctor for. How you feel?"
At first, Roy could only gape at Edward's kindness.
"I don't hurt as much as before. Thank you." Roy mumbled. "But are you sure you're okay?"
Edward glared at the colonel before answering in a stubborn snort, "Look. I'm only helping because I feel sorry for you, got it? Don't take this the wrong way and don't get any weird ideas about it either. Sheesh...this is going to be harsh...and I thought you were perverted before..."
Roy felt a smile creep onto his face as happy tears filled his eyes.
"Thank you, Fullmetal." He whispered. He owed the runt a lot.
"Okay," Edward stretched and yawned. "Well, I brought you food so eat up."
Roy glanced down to see the restraints gone.
"I had to unbelt you in order to bandage you up." Edward picked up a tray and held it out to Roy as the colonel sat up. "Here."
Roy stared at the tray before he took it in his fumbling hands. Tears glistened in his eyes as he began to eat. Edward was such a sweetie!
He paled at his thoughts.
He couldn't have Edward, firstly because Ed wouldn't let him, secondly because it was wrong, thirdly because they were both male, and fourthly because Ed was a minor.
"I don't want to know what you're thinking." Edward hissed as he opened the door. "I'll be out here if you need me."
Roy nodded and a sense of awe filled his chest. He felt safe again...finally.
Roy stretched as he stood from his office chair. Three weeks had passed since Edward had re-arrived in Central and Roy had been released from the hospital a week after that. Much to his surprise, he had kept his office, his job, and his position...even his subordinates, but none of them could come into his office unless he wasn't there...if they did, he could not help it when he freaked out. Only Edward and Alphonse could enter and exit whenever they wanted, but Roy prefered it when Edward was the one coming in and out.
At that thought, Edward came into the room and set down a couple of books. Across the hall was another office in which Roy's subordinates did their usual duties. Ed and Al were kind of like the messenger boys between them.
"I don't know how much more of this I can take."
Ed plopped down into a chair and flipped open one of the books. His statement, he realized, had a double meaning. The work was exhausting, but he didn't know how much more he could stand the look Roy often gave him. It was growing almost intoxicating the way the colonel would eye him with a hint of desire and longing.
Ed put his chin in his palm. His braid was about to come undone and his eyes were fatigued. It was true that Edward worked hard here, dashing between the rooms in a mad attempt to keep the workflow from stopping due to miscommuncations. Lately, he let Alphonse do most of the philosopher stone research.
Roy grabbed his jacket. "I want to go for a walk."
Ed sighed. "Fine."
Every time Roy went anywhere, Edward had to accompany him to keep him from going crazy. Roy simply could not go anywhere alone. Ed stood and walked to the closet to get his jacket, but he tripped and fell, landing pressed against the Colonel's chest. Roy stiffened as he looked down into Edward's golden eyes. Temptation and desire burned through his veins and he began to quiver slightly. Edward pushed himself away from the colonel slowly and grabbed his jacket. He felt strange all of a sudden. He would have never expected himself to enjoy the feel of Roy's body pressed against his own, but he had. He had loved the warmth and the protective feeling of a muscular chest. As of late, his thoughts had begun to run rampid with odd desires no doubt fueled by Roy's confession and the constant looks the colonel was no longer trying to hide.
Ed began to tremble as they left headquarters.
Their walk was silent and lovely, shared in each other's presences and the world around them. They stopped at the park for a little while then took the long way back. By the time they returned, it was dark and nearly everyone, except some late stragglers in the library, had gone home or to bed in the dorms.
Roy glared at the piles of papers on his desk. He hated signing things and now would have to deal with the forms when he really wanted to go to bed.
Ed yawned. "I'll be in the other room catching up on philosopher stone info if you need me."
Roy nodded and Ed shut the door.
The colonel set his coat down upon a chair then took his seat at his desk. He glanced around the room and noticed a gun upon the edge of his desk. He recognized it as one of Riza's. Though it was unlike her, he figured she had probably set it down and forgotten about it.
Gingerly, he picked it up and took off its safety. He checked its ammo supply and was content to see it was fully loaded. Then he cocked it.
Slowly, he brought it up to his head and began a twenty second countdown.
He knew he had to. He could not live his life frightened by his friends and desiring of Edward all that Edward could not give.
He had to do this...for Edward's sake and for the sake of his own sanity...
Edward sat down momentarily in the office then he stood and stalked to Roy's door.
He paused, hesitant.
He knew he had to tell Roy his newly developing feelings, but he was scared.
How could he explain that, in the last couple of weeks, he had started to feel some kind of twisted desire for the humbled, soft-spoken, and simple-minded colonel? Roy had become so frail and innocent, finding pleasure in the simple things, such as listening to a bird's lonely song or letting the wind comb his hair into a wild new hairstyle. His walks through Central were spent in avid fascination of how each new scent lit sparks of pleasure in his mind and of how much green was spotted throughout the stone buildings and asphalt roads.
Ed smiled then opened the door.
What he beheld on the other side sent chills down his spine.
"Colonel..." He mumbled. staring at the gun Roy held to his head. "Don't..."
Though momentarily startled by the interruption in his countdown, Roy regained control over speech quickly.
"I'm sorry, Fullmetal." Roy felt like crying, but he held back his tears as the shaking of his gun-hand ceased with his newfound resolve. "But I have to..."
"NO!"
Ed leapt across Roy's desk and took hold of the gun. It went off in their hands, the bullet whizzing by Roy's head and piercing the ceiling above.
"Please, forgive me." Edward mumbled as he took hold of the side of Roy's face and pressed his body against the Colonel's, subconsciously deciding that actions spoke volumes louder than words.
Slowly, he brought his lips to Roy's and kissed him in all his awkward, sloppy, and unpracticed glory. Thrills raced through both of their bodies as Edward pressed harder against Roy, turning the kiss into more a teeth squishing lips together than anything romantic. Nonplussed by this, Roy dropped the gun on his desk and let his hands wander up and down Edward's back, searching him with regained desire.
The far more experienced colonel pushed Ed's head back a little to soften the kiss and then his tongue begged entrance, for which Ed's virgin lips complied after much coaxing.
Roy's elated moans provoked Edward into shakily unbottoning the colonel's jacket and then his shirt, tearing off a few buttons accidentally in his hurry. His hands traveled the length of Roy's body, desiring the warmth and smooth texture of honed muscles. He discovered scars upon Roy's shoulders with the tips of his fingers and tore from the kiss to caress the marks with his swollen lips. Roy groaned as the blood began to pump between his legs and a tent in his pants began to develope soon after.
"Fullmetal..." Roy was breathing hard already, face flushed. "Don't...I'll take...I'll take advantage of you...I can't let...you..."
"Shut up." Edward snapped bitterly. "I can't let you kill yourself, colonel. Not when I feel...l-like...uh..."
All stern demanding gone from his features, Edward sputtered out lamely, "Equivalent exchange!"
Roy's brow rose slowly. "What has alchemy got anything to do with..."
"I'll give you half of my life if you give me half of yours!" Edward blurted as red lit across his features.
Roy's eyes widened. "You...you want me?"
"All of you..." Edward started then corrected, "I mean, I want half of you."
"Y-you can have all." Roy whispered. "I don't...I don't mind."
"Oh..." Ed mumbled, not expecting this reaction.
Roy, apparently, hadn't expected it either because he didn't know what to say. After an awkward pause, he simply wrapped his arms around Edward and held him close.
"D-does this mean I get h-half or all of you?" Roy finally questioned in a nervous stammer.
Though he couldn't be sure, the colonel swore he heard the youth mumble, "All."
"Let's go to my house for the night and talk this through first." Roy eventually suggested. "You're ruining your life, you know?"
"Shut up." Edward grumbled, which made Roy grin as it was a completely 'Ed-like' retort.
"We are a couple of freaks, aren't we?" Roy snorted.
"Speak for yourself."
Roy unlocked the door to his house and pushed it open.
Edward walked inside, stretched, and then looked around.
The house was simple, furnished with only a single brown couch in the center of the living room. Two doors existed on opposing sides and a curving staircase lay dead ahead.
Ed smiled. The place was sweet in a dry way.
"You need to decorate more." Edward teased.
"There used to be pictures." Roy mumbled. "But I took them down."
"Couldn't stand the faces?" Ed's eyes softened and Roy nodded.
"Look." Roy's voice was stern as he set his keys down on a stand by the door. "You don't have to do this, Fullmetal. Your life is still ahead of you. I can't let you throw yourself away."
"I'm not throwing anything away." Ed corrected stubbornly. "I'm giving it to you."
Roy shook his head, baffled by how calm the youth seemed. "Fullmetal, we need to talk about this...before rushing in like amatuers...despite our feelings."
Edward chucked. "I am an amatuer. How else do you think I'm going to react?"
Secretly, Edward admitted to himself that he was indeed acting odd. He had never been in a relationship before and Roy had been his first kiss...
"Fullmetal," Roy was shaking. "I can't...ruin your life."
Edward stepped closer to Roy, placing a nervous yet reassuring hand on the man's arm.
"I won't let you ruin your own life." He stated. "And this isn't some sudden realization. I've been feeling it coming on for a while now."
They shared a kiss, this one far more passionate than the one before, but Roy stopped it before he could grown any more bothered by it. Though it was difficult, he had to keep reminding himself that it had been him and Envy who had gone all the way, not him and Edward.
"I'll set you up in my bed." Roy told the boy. "I'll sleep on the couch."
"We could just sleep in the same bed." Edward suggested casually.
Roy sighed and decided being straightforward was the only way to ensure that no confusion arose.
"No, Fullmetal." Roy stated sternly. "I wouldn't be able to resist trying to get into your pants. It's better to sleep seperately until we've led up to such an experience, if we ever do."
Redfaced and pulling his jacket tighter around himself, Edward agreed without further persuasion.
Despite this embarrassing situation, they managed to move through it, getting themselves coffee and eventually sitting on the couch in enjoyable conversation, which mostly discussed what their relationship was going to be and what guidelines they needed to set up to keep it legal. Even if it was all right for a man to kiss a much younger date, it wasn't all right for a man to be kissing another male in public and then there was the problem of the colonel being Edward's superior. They eventually decided to keep their relationship a secret, acting strictly as they always had before when in the presence of everyone else. As soon as Edward was able to get his brother's body back, he would quit the military and, as he promised, come take care of the colonel.
"I don't need to be taken care of by you." Roy stated, but his words were met with a peck on his lips. "Fullmetal."
"You know, we should at least refer to each other by our names." Ed pointed out with annoyance, but then he barely mumbled out a pathetic, "R-R-R-R-Roy."
Smiling, the colonel put an arm around the youth and pulled him close. "All right, Edward."
They kissed again, eyes closed and hearts thrumming excitedly with the feeling of doing something absolutely forbidden.
Outside, staring as the scene unfolded into trepidatious cuddling, crouched Envy, jealousy boiling in his veins.
This is the end. I don't know if I'll write more to this series. It depends on if people want any more.
Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.
Review and favorite and follow if you want.