Four girls in school uniform were having a picnic. May was brushing Misty's beautiful long hair while Giselle and Duplica were setting up the picnic blanket and food. Then, Giselle sits under a tree and reads a book while Duplica started eating the food. Suddenly, Giselle was being carried away by something purple. So were May and Misty as May was still brushing Misty's hair. The food and the picnic blanket were also being carried away with Duplica sitting on it. None of the girls had any idea that they were being carried away.

(Ash's V/O: "Rattatas are known to carry weight almost a hundred times their size. An average-sized Japanese Schoolgirl would be enough to feed an entire pack of Rattatas for a whole month.")

The Glass House 2

(Sequel to the Glass House, starring Taichi Kamiya, Ash Ketchum and Sakura Avalon)

Episode 01 Summary: On this episode, Ash admits to us that he is intelligent to us and fortunately he is speaking through a fanfic, so his secret is relatively safe. Ash also deals with floods, fire, arrogant breeders and feminists in the same way he hates flutes.

Warning: This fanfic may contain cruelty to humans, cruelty to Pokémons, sugar, bits & bytes 1 to 8 and traces of nuts.

The fanfic is filmed on location in Kanto, Johto and Hoenn, with the main studio at the Goldenrod Radio and TV (GRTV) station.

By PikaFlash

Disclaimers: As usual, all characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

Ash climbed down a ladder backstage and meets up with Max. Max sees a thread on Ash's jacket. Max pulls the thread as Ash walks through the studio doors.

"And now, the winner of two Pepsis, a 7-Up and a Yakult, Mash Ketchup!"

Max pulls the thread as hard as he could, Ash was suddenly pulled backstage. Then Ash walked back out and sat on a chair and drinks a Tropical drink with a sparkler on it.

"Tasty." Ash looks at the audience. "An observation. If Vegeta wants to be taken seriously by the public, he should probably not wear that ugly pink shirt when Frieza tried to invade Earth. Who's with me!"

The audience cheered.

"A lot of fans write to me and ask if I am intelligent. And of course I would answer, 'Yes, I am'. Or as James would say, 'Yes, he is'. You see, I've just written a book. It took me three years and cost me my marriage. And the title of the book is called, 'Which Pikachu farted'. I won't say that it will win the best book award, but I'm glad that it's nominated. If you want to vote, you could find a form in the 'Cerulean Times'. And the book will be released at all good Pokémon Centers. And maybe also that awful one at Cinnabar Island.

Ash suddenly spots Pikachu in the corner holding a tennis ball.

"Not now, Pikachu," said Ash.

Pikachu walks off with the tennis ball.

"But we are not here to promote my new book. The Daidouji Corporation has set up all policies preventing me to do that. We are here to make fanfiction funny and funny fanfiction you will get, like this first one."

At a burnt out house, Ash was leading Insurance Agent Brock around.

"And this is the main entrance area," said Ash, pointing at a burnt out corridor. "An antique chair in the corner, next to the mirror."

"I see." Brock writes into a clipboard.

"An entertainment unit there, some bookcases. My sofa and couch used to be there. A hat rack to hold my hats."

"And all was destroyed?" asked Brock.

"All destroyed. But it doesn't bother me as I'm glad no one was here when it happened."

Brock continued writing on his clipboard and said, "We would need to catalogue it all for a claim."

"Of course." Ash said, continuing with the claims. "There is the master bedroom. Queen size bed. The bedding. The carpet, built-in wardrobes. Even the clothes are gone. There used to be a table there. And a Japanese Box too."

Ash points at a spot.

"And this is where I started the fire..." Ash realised his mistake. "Oh crap."

Brock closes his clipboard

At Prof. Oak's ranch, Ash was looking around.

"Hey Tracey, has anyone seen my Snorlax?" asked Ash.

"Shhhh..." Tracey was standing next to Snorlax under a large blanket. "He's sleeping."

"That's odd. He hasn't eaten yet, especially when it's in the middle of the Pomelo season."

Ash pulls the cloth away, only to reveal a pile of pillows to make a shape of Snorlax. "Oh no. He has made his escape! Where did my Snorlax go?"

"I think I know where he went!" yelled Tracey, pointing at a trail of destruction leading towards Prof. Oak's house. Ash hits Tracey in the head.

"How did you miss that trail of destruction, Tracey?"

Both Ash and Tracey quickly made their way to the house, only to hear a car starting up. And a voice yelled out, "HEY! That's my car!"

Snorlax was slowly driving off in Professor Oak's now 'compact' car, with Professor Oak running after it.

Brock was on stage dressed like a magician.

"Cells randomly move around to be collected in a pile causing a freakish evolution. Digimon is Evil!

And there is no such thing as Hollywood."

Brock bows down.

Act 2: Eric

Ash was at the desk.

"That was Eric, Master of Disillusion. 4 points. "

Ash faces the camera. "Early this week..."

Suddenly, the phone rings. Ash answers the phone.

"Hello?"

"Did you know that I am not wearing any underpants?"

"Errr...no."

Male voice: "Ohhh...arrrr...man...that's a relief..."

"Next time, take digestive medicine instead of calling me from the toilet, Professor Oak."

Ash hangs up.

"Earlier this week, Pokémon Breeder Suzie Firestrum was presented with the 'Young Pokémon Breeder of the Year' award and a very pretty check. She was chosen from almost 200 other Breeders by the Pokémon Breeders Association for her outstanding contribution to Pokémon Trainers and Breeders and she joins us now."

Suzie was next to Ash.

"Congratulations, Suzie. Young Pokémon Breeder of the year, huh?"

"Well, I'm flattered by the award, Ash. A lot of people were nominated and I guess it was my lucky day."

"But you're obviously the most outstanding Young Pokémon Breeder of the year in Kanto, aren't you?"

"I don't know about that," said Suzie. "There wasn't really much between us breeders. We were doing our best in our chosen fields."

"But the Pokémon Breeders Association didn't agree. They say you are the best."

Suzie was modest. "Well...I wouldn't go that far."

"So, what you are saying is that there has been a mix-up in the voting process and they awarded you a lot of money for nothing. You're saying that it has gone to the wrong person?"

Suzie shakes her head. "No, I guess they decided that my contribution was so...you know."

Ash was confused. "Wa?"

"It's really not up to me. It is up to the judges," replied Suzie.

"I know, but you can think for yourself, can't you? At least give me an assessment of your own ability," said Ash.

Suzie laughs for a bit.

"I guess my question amused you."

"I'm just an ordinary girl doing my job...I guess," said Suzie.

"You guess what?" asked Ash.

"I guess my contribution to Pokémon Trainers and Breeders was an outstanding one."

Suddenly, Ash changes his tone of voice. "Ohhhh, if you say so yourself."

Ash looks at the audience. "That was Suzie Firestrum, 'Young Pokémon Breeder of the Year' and one of the most arrogant young women I've ever met."

Brock woke up in a tent. He was having trouble getting up when May unzips the tent entrance.

"Had a good sleep, Brock?" asked May.

Brock got up. "Not very well. I think we're on a bit of a slope."

"Not to worry," said May. "It's only for the weekend."

Outside, the tent was planted on the side of a building, with May standing up on the sidewalk looking into the tent.

At a funeral, Misty was on the stand. "One person who was very close to Brock is Ash."

Misty got off the stand and Ash stood in front of the microphone.

"'A gentleman who could not say no to a woman'...is how I once described Brock Harrison to Professor Oak. He was a man who loves his Pokémon. And if you're ever in trouble, he'll be there, either with a primitive rock ax(e) or Onix. I know Brock would be embarrassed if he heard me tell you this...but he was under suspicion for a number of robberies in the area. He wasn't charged but he was questioned by Officer Jenny on several occasions. May..."

May looks up, thinking it's about Brock's words about her.

"...I'm sure he told you this many times, but the happiest time of his life, was when he is filled in a room full of Officer Jennys and Nurse Joys."

May's expression changed from proud to surprise.

"Brock and I had a drink one night. I loved Brock and I missed him dearly. Oh, he also said that I could have his couch."

Ash walks off the stand, and steals a wreath off Brock's coffin.

Game show segment

Ash was hosting a game show with Brock, Tracey and Misty as the contestants at the buzzers.

"Welcome back to Round Two," said Ash. "Who am I? I suffered a head injury in a car accident and lost my memory. I've been wondering the streets for the last few hours, disoriented and confused. I have no idea who I am. If you can identify me, please call the police immediately."

Ash walks back to his desk.

"She makes Tea Garner looks like Anzu Mazaki. No, she's not some superior plastic surgeon. She is Hoenn's leading feminist, who is the head of the Trainers Woman's Group. Her new book has been released, called 'Sapphire's Muse'. It's about 120 pages of interesting facts. But don't let me spoil that for you, I'll let May do it. May Fallal, ladies and gentlemen."

May enters the room and Ash stood up and shakes hands with her. Then, they sit at the chairs.

"I'm a bit confused on whether to kiss you or not," said ash.

"Well, you could have kissed me."

"I suppose the moment is lost now, otherwise it would be awkward to kiss you in the middle of an interview."

"Yeah."

"But do you think it is a problem now, especially for an attractive one as yourself to...you know, knowing what to do these few days?" said Ash.

"I probably think the problem is with men."

"I know, but you caused it. I mean, people like you."

May was confused. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean, it's hard for a man to meet an attractive woman, such as yourself, and conscious, to your feminist qualities, which are your rights, as they should be and you wouldn't be denied that, and to me, say again, I knowing that err...am...if. So, if I could approach...err...for example, should I stand when you enter the room, or offer you my seat on the bus or open the door for you...that sort of stuff."

"Well, I hope that what I write in my book would mean more than just feeling awkward when feeling polite, but it's not about whether you stand up for me or kiss me, it's about why you want to do it that is important," explained May. "Like why didn't you kiss me when you had the chance earlier?"

"I thought it was more appropriate to do it."

"Is it because you find me attractive or you wanted to make me feel more comfortable?" asked May.

"It's a bit of a showbiz thing," said Ash. "Everyone kiss everyone here and there."

"Do you kiss Brock hello?" asked May.

Ash sees Brock standing next to a camera, who looked confused. "Yeah, I do give him about a couple of pecks here and there but nothing major."

"See. It's nothing wrong for you to find me attractive. That's how people relate to each other on the degrees of attractiveness. In fact, I find you attractive."

Ash blushed. "Why thank you."

"Besides, you have a kind of Inuyasha thing."

"Then, there is nothing wrong with me trying to get the Shikon Jewel...heheheheheh," said Ash, in an attempt to act like Inuyasha in voice.

"I mean the way you dress nicely," said May. "On a superficial level, I am very open to you..."

"Well, I'm also very attracted to you too, May. You got a very good looking, a nice body, and a pretty face." Ash points at May and said to the audience, "She has a pretty face, right?"

The audience applauded.

"You see, Ash. There is a difference between finding someone superficially attracted to someone and being attracted to someone."

"Well, I am superficially attracted to you. I have no idea what you do other than looking into your Biography, which I have right now and I will read it."

Ash looks at the Bio. "A University degree. Good for you."

"Well, you're patronising me," said May, blushing.

"Oh, don't be stupid. It's like this thing...when an image of you on a pedestal high up, I need to be on a crane to go up to your level. And to avoid a glass ceiling...not to look under your dress."

May looks at Ash. "Excuse me?"

"Actually, I was hoping that you would interrupt me," said Ash.

"Ash, when I said that you were good looking, you automatically interpret that as a sexual invitation, which is inappropriate for an interview."

"I did not interpret it that way." said Ash. "It was far from that in my mind. Well, you started it, with your hellos and other stuff."

"I mean I find you attractive. I find everyone attractive. I even find Brock attractive."

Brock was at the camera, smiling at this revelation. Ash mumbled to himself, "You could as well marry him, May."

May was able to hear every single world Ash mumbled. "See, that's what I meant. You can't help being offended because you find me attractive in a sexual way."

"No," denied Ash. "I mean, you're the one who want to sleep with him."

Brock started to be confused from the interview.

Ash continued. "I mean, I won't find Brock attractive, even if he was a woman. And where would that leave me?"

"That is an interesting point because men would assign a different type of beauty to men than to women," said May. "Did you watch the Pokémon episodes where you are dressed as a woman?"

"Well...yes."

"Do you find yourself attractive?"

Immediately, Ash shakes his head and said, "No. Because the difference is that I have something women don't."

"What about before that?"

Ash looks around, finding a way to cut the interview. "I think Brock is giving me the wind-up. We could be talking about this for hours."

Brock was at the corner, not doing anything.

"Everyone, thank May Fallal for promoting her new book, 'Sapphire's Muse'."

Ash and May stood up from their chairs and May suddenly kisses Ash in the lips and Ash's body suddenly stiffens up.

A navy ship was scouting the ocean. In the bridge, Admiral Ash was with his crew scanning the whole area.

"Sector 3, range and mark clear."

"Sector 4, range and mark clear."

"Continue the sweep, Lieutenant Max," said

"Admiral, I'm picking something off my radar," said Brock.

The crew quickly walked to Brock at the radar as Brock picks up a cup of coffee.

"It's a cup of coffee!"

A few seconds later, the crew carried Brock out onto the deck and threw him overboard into the sea.

On stage, Brock, Misty and May were in black outfits and sunglasses doing a dance and song with disco music.

"Disco...disco dance. Disco, disco time."

Then, the trio points at Ash, who was with a poor Meowth at a sign reading "Sponsor a Pokémon."

"If every Anime Character in the Anime World donates a dollar to this Meowth, he would earn a weekly income of $20 Billion. That would be enough PokéChow from here to Neptune, transported by a solid gold space shuttle, fueled by burning banknotes."

Ash pauses, and then looks at Meowth.

"Seems a bit excessive, doesn't it?"

Meowth nods.

Max, Tracey, May and Brock were waiting for a bus when Ash walks to the bus stop in his usual outfit and cap. Ash waits for the bus next to Brock. Brock looks at Ash.

"You got your cap frontward," whispered Brock.

Ash feels his cap. The cap was facing the front, so Ash quickly turns his cap backwards.

"Thanks, Brock."

Ash was back at the studio.

"It's been four days since the City of Cerulean was devastated by heavy rain and flood. We now cross live to Cerulean City, where Misty Waters is cleaning up the Cerulean Gym."

Misty has finished moping up any excess water off the floor in front of the Gym.

"Yeah, we've been really lucky, Ash. All we lost were some costumes and electrical equipment. Some others weren't so lucky. Some lost their homes and their livelihood. But there is an appeal coming up where you could donate..."

"I'm sorry, Misty, but I'm afraid we have to cut you off there. Your shirt's wet and I don't think you're wearing a bra." Ash looks back at the camera. "Anyway, we love receiving letters from our fans, correcting their spelling and grammars, and then returning it to them. Sometimes, they are interesting. This week, we've got one from a very special person and our special guest delivery boy who will deliver the letter is 'FireBoy'!"

Max walks into the studio engulf in flames and hands Ash a burning letter. "Maybe next week we should give FireBoy a different job next time."

Ash walks into a music shop, where May was at the counter.

"Can I help you?" asked May.

Ash looks at May. "Yes. Do you have any flutes?"

"Sure. Come with me."

May takes Ash to a cabinet and takes out a flute.

"This is a top of the range flute. An Armstrong."

May takes out another flute.

"And we do have the more popular Yamaha brand."

Ash takes the flutes and looks at them. "And are these it?"

"Yes."

Ash places the flutes on the floor and stamps on it, breaking the flutes to pieces. After a few stomps, Ash picks the two flutes up and gave them back to a surprised May.

"Pika, I really hate these things," said Ash.

A trumpet was being played by a block of Hay with a pair of legs.

"Thank you, Brock. Now, as you know, popular shows require overseas sales as funding, but for us at the Glass House, we can't get such funding unless we can break into the market. Which is why I have come up with an idea to curry some favor from the British by stealing one of their ideas and characters. Enjoy."

The A Factor

Simon Cornball (Played by Brock), Marron Rosbourne (Played by Misty) and Parry Hotter (Played by Max) were at the A Factor auditions. Butch was singing. Before he could reach the second line of the song, Simon stopped Butch.

"You know what. Your singing voice is so horrible that it would wake a hibernating Ursaring and have a temper enough to kill you in your own home. Next!"

Rozzy Rosbourne (Played by Ash) entered the auditions room.

"The s-song I'm (beep)ing singing today is the (beep)ing c-classic 'Born Free', to get my (beep)ing w-wife back."

Three Horrifying minutes later

Simon, Marron and Parry were at the table.

"Parry, what's your comment?" asked Simon.

Parry liked the song. "An excellent work."

"Well, your opinion doesn't count because you're a wizard," said Simon. "Marron?"

"Oh, Rozzy..."

Marron got up and kissed Rozzy...

"Marron. You can (beep)ing swear at me all you (beep)ing want..."

Marron and Rozzy left the auditions room, leaving behind Simon and Parry at the table.

"Bullocks," cursed Simon.

Professor Oak was walking down a street in his lab coat with a pair of headphones on his head. Then, he waits at the traffic light. As the cars stop to let Oak cross the street, Professor Oak removes his lab coat and tosses the white coat on the front windscreen of the car. Then, Oak drops his pants onto the road and started dancing.
Back at the studio, May holding a Shakespearean Skull, Brock wearing a Knight's helmet and Misty eating a watermelon, were watching Professor Oak doing his dance while Ash was using another headgear to instruct Professor Oak what to do.

"And keep on dancing like that until I tell you to stop."

Ash takes off the headphones and looks at the camera. "That was Professor Oak. He wanted to be on the show, so I decided to make him do a dance in the middle of the street. And like an under-stocked salesman, we are out of oregano...I mean Time. Thanks to our guest, X and Y. Oh, looks like someone forgot to update the autocue. We would also like to thank our special guest mail delivery boy 'FireBoy'."

Max appeared with the fires extinguished. "And I also thank you for putting out your fires to be on the final segment."

"Oh please!" Max angrily walks off.

Ash looks back at the camera. "And the answer to the previous season unanswered question..."

Q: Is Officer Jenny a real Policewoman?

"And of course, the answer is 'No.'"

Ash was eating an orange.

And as it is getting late, there's no time for pleasantries. May, Misty and Brock, you are all lazy, stinking and untalented. Goodbye, everyone.

Ash was in a cage on a tree, waiting for something to happen. Then, Ash looks down to see Pikachu holding a tennis ball.

"Not now, Pikachu," said Ash.

Pikachu walks off with the tennis ball.

End of Episode 1