Shock Jock

Warnings: M/M goodness, with lemon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, if i were to ever acquire it then it would be on HBO at midnight with Puck and Kurt in all their hot smutty glory.

Summary: Kurt is wrong for once and for some reason that doesn't bother him as much as he thought it would.

'I can't believe it' was the first thought that came to Kurt's mind as he watched Puck dance (not so smoothly) across the floor of the choir room.

'Then again... I totally can' was the one that came right after.

Kurt is a people watcher. He spends hours in the mall (after buying out half the stores there) people watching. He loves it and because of it he became very good at reading people and learning things about them that they might not want him knowing. He learned that half the guys on the football team weren't as straight as they claim to be. He learned that Artie was still in love with Tina no matter how much he denied it. He also learned that Blaine wasn't as into him as he thought when he saw the longing looks he gave Karofsky on occasion. He was hurt when they broke up but that's another story. And now as he sat in his chair watching his , dance challenged, teammates run through the choreography ...again, he thinks he knows that Puck has a secret.

See there's a rumor at McKinley that Puck is more than well endowed, but Kurt now has reason to doubt the truth in that rumor. He knows that the metallic waist band peeking out from under Puck's pants belong to underwear designed by Andrew Christian. Underwear that's also known as the chicken cutlet for men.

Andrew Christian is the designer that came up with the idea for male enhancement underwear. The briefs he designed has a pocket in the front, in which to place a foam contouring cup, to make it look as though the guys penis is bigger than it actually is. That is how he decides the rumor about Puck is possibly false and that is why Puck is such a dick all the time, because if you're that small to need enhancement underwear you'd be an asshole too.

Kurt tries his best not to care about the underwear Puck is wearing. He tries to forget that Puck just keeps on pretending, keeps on lying. He tries; he really does try to just let it go, but Kurt being Kurt... He knows it's a lost cause. It's not that he's a nosy person, it's just that when he wants to know something it bugs him til he is (almost) pulling his hair out and he just can't stop thinking about it until he knows for sure. This is becoming one of those things that he just has to know. So he tries a different tactic than just ignoring. It's time to play detective... again.

Kurt's been following Puck around , covertly of course (if he had his Sai swords, he'd really be like a ninja). He's tried peeking in the locker room but that just ended with him red faced and running from the place when he caught Karof... Dave and Blaine instead. He had seriously considered splashing another slushy in his face, just to see if it would wipe the memory from his mind. He tried again when they were changing into their outfits for Sectionals but was thwarted and forced to help his step brother because if he didn't, he would've had to explain to Carole how her son had strangled himself with his tie. Though once he got that straightened out, Puck was already dressed. The only other time he had a chance (and it was by accident when he opened that supply closet, he swears) was ruined because Puck was turned around but at least he knew now that Puck really does have a nice ass, especially when not covered by baggy jeans.

He's almost at his wits end and this close to just asking Puck for proof, when said person comes strolling out of the en suite bathroom, HIS bathroom... in HIS bedroom in nothing but the underwear that started this whole (he refuses to call it stalking) thing. He can't help the way he stares at Pucks chest, watching the water droplets roll down and disappearing into the waist band. And as his eyes travel down to land on the um... package encased there and he has to bite back a moan.

He's brought out of his reverie by someone clearing their throat and he realizes Puck has been watching him, watch Puck.

"Like what you see, Hummel?" Puck asks quirking an eyebrow and pulling a smirk.

Kurt says the first thing that comes to mind "Depends on if what I'm looking at is real."

Not 'What are you doing in my bathroom' or better yet 'What are you doing in my house'. No his brain apparently has shut of the filter to his mouth because that is not what he was going to say.

As soon as he says it he turns bright red, blush creeping all the way down his neck. He curses he pale skin sometimes and this is one of those times.

Puck looks confused by the statement for second, and then a look of understanding comes over his face.

"Just because i wear a certain kind of underwear doesn't mean that it isn't real." Puck says continuing to smirk at Kurt.

"But that's what it implies, for those who know what the underwear is for." Kurt says trying to keep his averted on anything but Puck because if he continues to look at the mostly naked boy, he's going to have bulging underwear of his own.

Puck shakes his head and moves closer to Kurt, who backs away for fear of what Puck might be planning to do.

As if Puck can read his mind he says "Relax Hummel, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to prove to you that im all real and i don't need anything to enhance my maleness." He takes Kurt's' hand and presses it to the front of his briefs, letting Kurt feel that he is definitely all real and growing.

Kurt pulls his hand back reluctantly "Then why would you wear those?" he asks motioning to Pucks front.

"I like the style... and they are the only ones that I can really 'FIT' into without it being uncomfortable, before I found these I usually just went commando."

Kurt thinks about what that must mean. That Puck is so big that he needs extra space to put everything just be comfortable. Kurt feels himself blushing again at that thought. And again his brain to mouth filter must still be shut off because the next thing he asks is...

"How big are you?"

Puck grins and asks, as he leans forward into Kurt's space, "Do you really want to know?"

And all Kurt can do is blush and nod because he's pretty sure his brain has completely shut down now.

Puck grins and puts his thumbs in the waist band of his underwear and tugs them off in one fluid motion. Then he's standing there in front of Kurt. Completely naked and completely hard. Kurt forces himself to keep his eyes on Pucks chest, until Puck grabs his chin and tilts his head up to look into his eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this Kurt?" Puck asks gently and Kurt nods his head again so Puck steps back a little and directs Kurt's head down. When he finally gives in and looks at Pucks cock, his mouth waters and his own cock twitches in his pants. Puck has to be at least 10 inches maybe 12. He is ... huge!

Kurt tentatively reaches a hand out and brushes the head of Pucks cock. It's soft and little damp from the precum leaking from it. Kurt gets bolder and wraps his hand loosely around Puck and strokes and few times. He chances a glance back up at Puck and what he sees makes his cock twitch again. Pucks pupils are blown wide with want and he has his bottom lip between his teeth, when Kurt rubs over the head of his cock again, Puck lets out a little moan from the back of his throat. Puck wraps his own hand around Kurt's (still looking at his face), squeezing slightly to add to the pressure, then he starts thrusting up into Kurt's hand and throws his head back and moans again, a little louder this time. Kurt lets him continue for 3 more thrusts, and then he takes his hand away and pushes Puck back. As the back of Pucks knees hit his bed and forces him to sit down, Kurt gets on his knees in front of Puck. Puck looks at him again, a question in his eyes and moans again when Kurt takes the head of his cock into his mouth. He's not the most experienced at this but by the noises Puck is making, he knows he good. He had a feeling that the whole 'no gag reflex' thing would wind up working out for him in other ways than just being able to brush his tongue with no problem.

As he thinks this, that's exactly what he does to Puck, and Puck all but screams when he swallows around him. With only a grunt for a warning, Kurt swallows down the cum that's coming out of Puck in warm spurts. A little escapes his mouth when he pulls off and he brings his hand up to wipe it away but Puck beats him to it by dragging his thumb across Kurt's bottom lip.

"That was... just ... Uh... Wow." Puck stammers out and Kurt's confidence shoots up a level despite his lack of experience. Puck falls back on his bed and Kurt gets up and starts to leave when Puck reaches out and stops him by grabbing his wrist.

"Where do you think you're going?" Puck asks accusingly and as Kurt stammers something about Puck being straight and not wanting to make him uncomfortable Puck rolls his eyes, sits back up and tugs Kurt back in front of him.

"Oh no, I'm not done with you yet, you're not going anywhere til I've had you writhing underneath me moaning and screaming my name til you come so hard you pass out."

Kurt tries to explain that Puck doesn't need to reciprocate, that he doesn't need to risk his reputation of being the straight jock to just make Kurt happy. He tries to tell Puck to stop, but his protest are obviously half-hearted because even though he's saying no, he still lets Puck undress him, still lets Puck pull him down on the mattress, still lets Puck kiss him fiercely and leave and trail of burning kisses down his chest, and still lets Puck push his knees up to his chest as Puck licks at his entrance. He moans and bucks up wildly when he feels Pucks tongue entering him, stretching him out for something larger. He cries out "Noah" when Puck places a spit slick finger inside him and again when Puck adds a second finger. He's lost all form of speech when Puck has three fingers thrusting inside him and when Puck brushes up against that sweet spot, he almost screams. He whimpers when Puck removes his fingers and moans when something bigger is trying to replace them. He's panting hard by the time Puck is fully in and he practically yells at Puck to "Move, damn you!"

When Puck complies, Kurt's given up on trying to understand why this is happening when he thinks he knows that Puck is straight and focuses more on Puck thrusting in and out of him. And when he angles his hips just right and keeps hitting that spot over and over he's forgotten everything except "Noah, Noah, Noah." over and over again. And when he comes, he's pretty sure the neighbors now know Puck's name and before he can truly think about what that might mean for him, all he sees is black.

When he comes back to consciousness 15 minutes later, he's startled by a soft chuckle from his right. When he looks over to find Puck, he's slightly nervous for second til he remembers what had happened previously then he smiles and snuggles closer to Puck, and Puck lets him.

"Told you I would make you black out." Puck says smugly.

And Kurt finds himself thinking that he wouldn't mind being wrong all time if this is what it gets him.

A/N: This is the first thing i've done in a long time. I've been meaning to write a Puck/Kurt for sometime now, it's just that every plot idea i've had never works into a story right. I dont even know how i got to this page on the internet but when i saw it, i just had to write about it. Please R&R and if a sequel is needed i could possibly be persuaded to some up with something.

Link to the idea for this story is hear: .com/2011/01/06/chicken-cutlets-for-men/