Beep: Ok, so HI. I'm Beep, KK's writing assistant. That's what you can call me, but I'm really just a figment of her imagination. So's HCM, who's a talking machine.

HCM: Salutations.

Beep: We would like to tell you that KK is well aware that she has not been updating Unexpected Circumstances lately, and for that she is sorry. She wishes she could update, but her mind keeps coming up with blanks. Instead, she came up with a totally new and stupid idea for THIS story. She is afraid that you may not be pleased with it either, but she could not resist. She asks that you please refrain from blowing up her house, because her family lives there.

Basically, KK isn't here because she's actually IN the story. (You're gritting your teeth in anger, aren't you?) So it'll just be me and good 'ol HCM in the Author's note. Is that it?

HCM: You forgot the disclaimer.

Beep: Oh, right. Um, yeah. We don't own it, 'cause we're not allowed.

HCM: Ok, now you're done.

Beep: Great! Alright, so I have some more news for ya! I'm no longer a red pterodactyl neopet thing! I'm a ghoooosst! Check it out on KK's profile's homepage-that's-not-really-a-homepage! I'm all cool! Oh, and here's HCM with the notes.

HCM: I feel special.

Notes:

1. Because we are doomed with an incurable phobia of having the house egged by Rabid Fangirls, there will be no HotGuyXKK pairing. The author will, because she couldn't resist, develop a relationship with one of her favorite characters, but there will be no romance, except for maybe pairings heavily implied in the show. (No Shounen-ai, sorry girls.)

2. Expect a lot of POV switches.

3. I don't know how much exactly, but in this chapter there will be quite a bit of Cartoonnetwork bashing.

4. Expect Plot changes. You can't add a character into an important part of a series and expect something not to change. The changes may not appear until a while, though.

5. The authoress IS a hyprocrite. She HATES these types of stories and yet is writing one herself. The authoress has not disabled me yet, proving that she herself agrees.

Authoress's Journal

I hate this place.

I hate the bed I am sitting on, I hate the room that the bed is furnishing. I absolutely loathe the house that the room takes place in. Even more so, I despise the owner of the house.

As you might have noticed, I'm in a hating mood right now. I'm writing this very sentence right now in a note book that I carry around. Once I get back home, I'll be typing this, and more onto Fanfiction(dot)net. If I get back home. Well, if you're reading this, then I'll probably be home. For now, I'll be recording what I can remember while I reside in this... world.

To put it simply, I'm in the Naruto world.

I know, I know, it's a big surprise, isn't it? It's not like hundreds of fangirls haven't already gotten sucked in!

And after all, those type of things only happen in fanfics...

Shut up.

Anyway. You would think that if I was in the Naruto world, I'd start gaining these unknown powers that were hidden in a burning flame deep inside my heart, but nothing like that has happened so far. Then again, I've only been here one day.

So why am I here?

No idea. I'm pretty sure I'm not related to any of them. Mostly because I'm pretty sure that I'm VIETNAMESE. Not Japanese. Or Konohanian or whatever. Really, I'm Vietnamese. Ask my parents if you don't believe me. Actually, don't. I love the show an all, but it's not like I examine every damn second of the show. So it's not like I can help them with anything. I try, but I can find no reason at all why I'm here, and I just want to get home.

I don't know how I got here, so I'll just tell you what happened today.

Author's POV

I set my pencil down, attempting to recollect my memory of those events.

It was the weirdest thing. One minute, I was getting my ass kicked in a game of baseball during P.E., and I tripped. But instead of slamming my face into hard and rough concrete, I fell on soft, comfortable grass instead. I don't remember a bright and holy light, I don't even think I got knocked out. It was like shifting scenes in a dream and not even noticing. After realizing the feeling I recieved from the ground, I sat up. From what I could tell, I was in a forest. Was it a forest? Whatever, it was a bunch of trees.

A gust of wind blew across. It held a scatter of green leaves. That was familiar.

After quite a few minutes, I deducted that I was in the Naruto-verse. I don't know how I knew. It was... just this... aura.

That, and everything looked like a Japanese cartoon. (Anime, manga, whatever. Don't need to get too touchy with the word, alright?)

Ahem. Then I got to wondering... did I look like I was drawn by a pen and animated myself? I didn't have mirror, and my glasses did nothing to reflect my face. I looked at my hands...

And I couldn't tell.

I'm not sure how to explain it. You look at your own hands, and that's definately not drawn, right? But what if the real world were a cartoon, and you were the one being watched? Are you real? Or invented?

As I stared at my hands, I couldn't tell. I wasn't sure if I looked drawn or real. Your definition of real, that is. What if I was both? It felt real. I think it did.

My unintelligible thoughts were interrupted when something bright orange caught my eye.

"Hey. HEY. You okay?"

I looked up, my heart beating against my ribs. I wonder how many ribs I have... back to the recollection! There he was. Uzumaki Naruto. Ramen breath and all. The Uzumaki Naruto. And gang.

His golden hair danced so... smoothly with the wind. His eyes, like pieces of the ocean, shone brightly against the sunlight. Beautiful...

This poetic thing is kind of scaring me.

"Wh... wha...?" I said intelligently. "OH! Oh, yeah, I'm okay! Umm... hi!" I said, with the biggest grin I could give. "Uh... I'm Lana! I... I'm a villager. Nice to meet you."

"Pleasure, Lana," Kakashi said pleasantly, his visible eye still on his porn. Bitch. "I'm Kakashi Hatake." (I heard, "Pleasure, Lana. I'm Perverted Sensei.")

I felt a tingle up my spine. Something was wrong with the way he said that...

"Hello, Lana, I'm Sakura Haruno." (Translation: "Hello, Lana, I'm Scary-in-Pink Forehead Girl.")

There was that something wrong again!

Sasuke was next to speak: "Hn. Sasuke Uchiha." ("Hn. Emo Chicken.")

My heart skipped a beat when I heard Naruto speak next.

"And I'M NARUTO UZUMAKI! Future Hokage! Believe it!"

Those last two words echoed in my head, breaking a piece of my world each time. I felt... so... cold. Could it really be? Had he dared to say... the accursed words? No... I just heard it wrong. I'm sure of it...

"S-say that again?"

"And I'M NARUTO UZUMAKI! Future Hokage! Bel-"

"YOU CAN STOP THER-"

"-ieve it!"

It was horrible. I was in the world of my dreams... and still in the wrong one. American-ized.

I couldn't help myself. I broke down, in my own circle of sorrow...

Ahem, circle of what? Let me rephrase that.

I broke down, surrendering myself to darkness...

Is that from Kingdom Hearts or something? Whatever. I give up.

Normal POV

"How is she, doctor?" Kakashi asked, going out of his way to pretend to be concerned.

The doctor closed the door behind her, an unreadable look on her face. Her voice, though betrayed her visible stoicism. "She's very... strange."

"Yeah, we got that, what else?" Naruto said irritably.

The doctor shot him a glare before continuing. "She's awake, but she won't tell me anything. Instead, she turns away, muttering some pretty bad things about something called... 'Toonami.' Do any of you know what that is?"

The team shook their heads, the word completely foreign to them.

"Well, whatever Toonami is, it makes me question her mental stability." The doctor sighed.

"We found her, maybe it would help if we talked to her?" Sakura suggested.

"Go right ahead," the doctor said before moving aside to give them passage.

"And Naruto?" Sakura said, before stepping in. "Well, seeing as she fainted in front of you, because of something you said..."

"Yeah?"

"Don't talk."

Lana was, as expected, in a fetal position on the hospital bed, brooding. There were even the purple brooding lines hovering above her.

"Um... L-Lana?" Sakura said tentatively. "Are you okay...?"

To their shock, the girl sat up cheerfully, an excited look on her face. "Great! I feel GREAT! Look! These lines around me- they twitch!" She poked one of the purple-blue lines. Indeed, it did twitch.

Team 7 sweatdropped.

"Ooh, sweatdrops! Do they burst?" Lana said curiously, and approached Sasuke. She poked his sweatdrop. "Hey, they don't pop! Cool..." Sasuke twitched.

'Ah... anyway," Kakashi said a bit louder than usual to change the subject. "The thing is, Lana, that we were coming back from a mission when we found you. Therefore, you are an event that happened during the mission. So we'll have to report you to the Hokage. I've set up a meeting with him, and you'll have to come with us. Do you mind?"

Lana lowered her hand from Sasuke's face. "Oh. Sure, okay. I mean, I don't mind."

Author's POV

The old smoking man in a hat sat in the table across from me. A polite smile was on his wrinkled face as he said, "Your name is Lana, you said?"

I decided to give him a last name as well, before they asked so it might look less suspicious. Of course, I had to pull something out of the sky. "Yes, I'm Lana. Lana Reinagara." Reinagara? What the heck is Reinagara? Please let there be no one named Reinagara that the Hokage knows...

He nodded, seeming to accept it. "And where are you from, Lana Reinagara?"

"Oh, um... It's a really small village, you've probably never heard of it."

"Try me."

"It's... Amer..riku. Yeah, Ameriku." Seriously, what the hell? What part of my mind does all this crap come from?

"Then, if I may ask, why are you in Konoha and not... Ameriku?" Sarutobi asked.

This was a hard part. How did I get here? I don't even know how I got here, let alone make up a story about it.

I looked into his eyes, hoping to get an idea. But they were just eyes. I don't know about you, but I can't read eyes. I don't know why so many writers use the eyes to tell what people are feeling. How can eyes be cold? How does "A flicker of amusement dance" in one's eyes? Maybe it's just me, but the only thing I can really tell with someone's eyes, is i they're crying or if they're dead. Or if they have pink-eye.

Back to the story, decided to tell him the semi-truth.

"I... don't know," I said honestly. Now on to the lies. "I mean, I don't remember. I... think there was an... explosion." I squinted, pretending to try to remember. "Um... I can't... I really don't know. It's all a big blur," I was surprised when my voice shook, it made me sound like I was on the verge of tears. Hey, I think tears are coming to my eyes! Cool! "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay..." Sarutobi lifted his pipe, and a small puff of smoke rose and spread to cloud his face. "If you wouldn't mind, Lana, would you go outside? The genin will lead you."

I got up, and followed Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

Normal POV

"She was lying," Sarutobi said.

"Yes, Lord Hokage. She is one of three things: A villager, like she said, a very good shinobi, or a very bad one. I could barely sense any of her chakra. She may have been hiding it, but maybe there is nothing to hide," Kakashi mused.

"Maybe. Keep an eye on her. Do nothing to make her suspicious."

"Yes, sir."

Outside the Hokage's tower, Sasuke was standing like a statue by the door. Sakura was yelling at Naruto for asking her out on a date for the umpteenth time. Lana was fiddling with her fingers, trying hard to look like she was thinking about a nailclipper, while she was really thinking about whether or not Konoha beheaded people, hanged them, electrocuted them, or did that suicide thing she forgot the name of.

"Alright, team, I've got a new mission."

The four twelve-year olds looked up, wondering how Kakashi even got there without opening the door. Or how he opened the door without them noticing.

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked excitedly. "'Cause I wanna show my new cool moves, bel-"

"Just figure out which of you three has room for Lana to stay for a while. Good luck!"

"W-wait a minute, Kaka-" Lana didn't finish before the jounin disappeared into thin air. She stared at the place where he once stood, then turned around slowly to face the three genin. "Um... hehe." Looking among the three, she said nervously, "...do you guys mind? I mean... I don't have any money yet, but..."

"It's our mission," Sakura said simply. "Naruto's out. His apartment's too small and messy. The best choice would probably be me, but my parent's would never let you. They aren't shinobi, they wouldn't understand, even something like this. Besides that, we have no guest room."

Author's POV

I was surprised. Sakura was very... leader-like. I didn't think she'd have this type of personality until somewhere near the time skip. I listened to her, and realized what her reasoning meant. If Sakura and Naruto didn't have room for me...

"That leaves Sasuke." Sakura turned toward her crush. Suddenly she started to blush. "Um... Sasuke? I know that it would be uncomfortable for you to have a girl in your house but... you're the only choice. W-would you?"

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. The traitor? Why me? Granted, it would make sense. He had the biggest place out of all of them, and he had enough money and room. Still... it's Sasuke. Sauce-gay!

I couldn't help but speak up. "You better not have fangirls attack your house in the morning," I said. It came out ruder than I expected, but I didn't really think there was a polite way of saying it. I was serious. If there were fangirls, there's going to be another mass murder in the Uchiha compound.

All three of them looked at me curiously. What? Did they expect me to fawn over a guy that drilled a hole in his best friend's chest?

... Oh yeah. Didn't happen yet.

To my surprise, Sasuke smirked. "Once you get a job, you're paying half the bills." Was that like the second time I've heard his voice?

(Line Break)

"Very... big," I remarked. We had just entered Sasuke's house. I wanted to say something else, but I really couldn't.

The place was well furnished, and everything looked good and luxurious. Still, there was just something that made it all so... dreary. If I could describe it in a color, it would be gray, I suppose.

I followed him to a room with a queen-sized bed. I wonder if he ever had any other guests in this room.

"This will be your room," he said shortly. "Any complaints?"

"Would you care if I had any?"

"Nope."

"Then I'm as perfect as a peach!" A rotten one.

"Good. Here." He tossed me a small sack. It jingled as I caught it. "That should be enough to get you any necessities, and at least five changes of clothes. Try to be less like a girl and spend it wisely."

I glared at him. This was to be a glare that would be repeated at the same person for many days to come. "Thanks," I muttered.

"It shouldn't be hard to find the good clothing stores. If you get lost, ask around."

"I hope they don't all act like you."

He shrugged. "Here's the key," he said, leaving a small silver key on a table nearby. After that, he left without another word. I sighed, looking at the money Sasuke gave me. Should I have shown more gratitude? Whatever, he probably would have flipped me off anyway. Is flipping people off allowed in cartoons?

I left, and found my way easily to Konoha's mall. I was a bit surprised that I got there, being that I get lost very easily.

It wasn't unexpected that half of the stores there consisted of shinobi equipment. I followed the maps that were conveniantly placed to a good store that sold clothing for non-shinobi.

Let's get one fact straight about me: I'm not that interested in clothes. I walk in the store, pick something decent, try it on, and buy it if it fits and doesn't make me look like a multi-colored disco ball.

When I walked out of there, I still had enough of Sasuke's money to buy toothpaste, girl stuff, shampoo, etcetera. By the time I was done, it was 6:30 p.m. Realizing that I hadn't eaten since breakfast, I figured that I'd do what I'd always dreamed of: Eat at Icharaku's. Really, tell me you haven't fantasized it. I dropped my stuff off at my new residence, and made my way to the famous ramen stand.

And who should I see there but the one and only Uzumaki Naruto? Excuse me, Naruto Uzumaki. "Hey, Naruto," I said, sitting beside him.

He looked up. "Hey, Lana! I'm waiting for my ramen. Are you going to eat here, too?"

"Yeah, so what's good here?"

"Hmm... I'd say just about everything, but I don't think you'd like to order one of everything," he said cheekily.

I smiled. "Well, what do you recommend for an amateur ramen tester like me?" I joked.

"Mmm... the beef is one of my personal favorites, but my other personal favorites are chicken and shrimp... it's all my favorite, actually..."

I blinked at him, a bit confused, but not surprised. I picked up the menu beside me, and looked at all the options. It all looked so good. I set the menu down and decided to that I only had one way of doing this.

When in doubt...

Eeny meeny miney moe.

Catch a tiger by the toe.

If he hollers, let him go.

Eeny meeny miney...

Moe!

I looked up. "Medium-sized seafood ramen, please."

The demon container stared at me incredulously. "That's how you decide things?"

"Most of the time... other times I close my eyes and point, but my favorite method is a Magic 8 ball."

He narrowed his eyes comically. "Boy, I bet we wouldn't survive on a mission that needed strategic thinking with you as the leader."

I poked him in the head with my chopsticks.

"Ow!"

"Aw c'mon, I barely touched you."

"I feel it throbbing!"

"Yeah, yeah, stop whining." I looked around, realizing that someone was missing. "Hey... sir?" I said to the old man. I forgot his name, ok?

"Hm?" he said, turning around, setting a bowl of ramen in front of Naruto.

"Don't tell me you work here alone. Isn't there someone else?"

Naruto looked up, after breaking apart his chopsticks. "Yeah, come to think of it, where is Ayame, old man?"

Right, that's her name!

"Oh, Ayame's going to be gone for a few weeks. She went off to some country I don't have the youth to remember the name of. Getting some ingredients that are only available there. I'm by myself till she comes back," he explained.

A polka-dotted lightbulb turned on over my head. I got a stupid idea. "Hey... I'm looking for a job... do you think I could work here until she comes back?" I asked.

"Hmm... that's not a bad idea," the old man said. The polka-dotted light bulb nodded smugly. (It's all metaphorical, just so you know.) "But how much patience do you have?"

"Not much patience with people who have the IQ of negative 200, but other than that, I'm like a monk."

"And where do you stand on poor pay, long hours, and burning, blistering hands at the end of the day?"

"I'll kill myself, then come back the next day refreshed and ready to do it again."

"Perfect! You're hired!" he said, putting a bowl of ramen in front of me. I think he just liked the fact that I said I'd kill mysef.

"Great. I'll start tomorrow. Let's eat!"

Yeah. Ramen is bliss. Anime ramen is heaven dipped in seasoning. A pleasured sigh came from my mouth.

After getting over my first taste, I looked over at Naruto.

"So, tell me about one of your missions, Naruto."

He gave a big grin. "Well, my latest mission took place in the Wave. I've gotten other missions, but I think their too gory for you to handle right now."

You guessed it. He told me about his first C-class mission that turned out to be more.

Of course, he exaggerated everything.

"We were escorting this rich owner of a construction company, when we got attacked by to A-ranked missing-nins called the Demon Brothers!"

Why not go along with it? It might be fun. "Really? How did you beat them?" I said excitedly.

"Oh, it was pretty easy, believe it!" Ok... take it easy... you just have to get used to the English stuff, ok Lana? Not even noticing that I stopped breathing for a bit to calm myself down, Naruto continued. "They had these poison claws though, and the ingredients for the antidote is extremely rare! I had to rescue Sasuke and Sakura a few times but..."

It went on like that for a while. Even though I knew he was lying, I was actually pretty interested. Naruto's a good story teller. Before I knew it, both of our ramen bowls were empty, and Naruto's tale was finished. "Well, I should go now. Sasuke hasn't given me a curfew yet, but I don't want to take any risks," I joked.

"Ok, see you later," Naruto waved.

I got up to leave, but then turned around. "Actually, can I get a small vegetable ramen to go?" I asked the old man.

"Getting dinner for Sasuke?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm paying with his money. Might as well use it all," I shrugged. "Extra tomatoes, please."

I grabbed the order after he finished. "Ok, bye Naruto. I'll see you tomorrow morning, old man!"

"7:00 a.m. And the name's Teuchi!" Right. Gotta remember that. I repeated the name to myself as I walked to Sasuke's place.

Sasuke came home a little after 10:30 that night to find me getting ready for bed.

"Bought you dinner," I informed him. "Figured you'd be hungry after all that training."

Sasuke opened the ramen, then closed it and said, "How'd you know I was training?"

"It'd be the only thing for you to do at this time of night. Uchiha or not, no bartender's gonna let you in at your age."

"Hmph. Thanks... though it was my money."

I shrugged. "Don't worry, I didn't pee in it or anything." I walked to my room and closed the door.

I suppose this would be a good time to tell you who I am? They may not know, but you aren't part of the show, so what do you matter? That didn't come out right.

Anyway, my name is Lana. Can't tell you my real last name, because according to my brother, "There are some real crazy people out there." Maybe I'm Lana Lang from Smallville. Or that Alana that goes to your school. Maybe not.

I'm a Vietnamese twelve year old, and I hold the record of being the shortest in my class. Every. Damn. Year.

Here's how I look. Thick black hair, black eyes, and double-jointed fingers. Oh, and I have acne. I've got annoying glasses. I about as athletic as your couch. It's amazing I'm not over 100 pounds. You may think I'm joking, but I'm not. Yes, I am your everyday Asian Naru-tard.

Hmm... that's about all I'll let you know for now. Alright, so I dropped myself into the bed, recovered from the fact that it was like lying on a cloud, and pulled out a black and white notebook that I bought earlier. I grabbed a pencil that I found conveniently lying around. This is what people do, right? They record stuff when they're on mysterious journeys and stuff like that?

Anyway, I opened the notebook, laid my pencil on the first page, and...

... That's how I got here. So now I'm laying on this stupid bed, and loving it because it feels like a freakin' peace of heaven. It's 12:50- something, and now, I can't even sleep because I keep wondering why the hell I'm here and how I get OUT. And on top of that, I also can't sleep because

I stopped there, realizing the other reason of why I couldn't sleep- there was a noise.

But not like the noe of someone breaking in. (What robber would break into a house of a skilled shinobi, I don't know.) It was more like the noise of... crying. It definitely wasn't me. My eyes were dry. The only other person was...

"Oh... fu..." I didn't say the whole word because I don't think that's allowed on cartoonnetwork. Uchiha Sasuke was crying!

What. The. Hell? A million thoughts rushed through my head. But I had to see it to believe it. I slowly stood up, the floorboards creaking underneath me. I crept out of my room, and to Sasuke's door. I opened it, praying that it didn't squeak.

It was dark, but I could see his dark figure on his bed. Sure enough... his shoulders were shaking. I stepped closer, and closer. Soon, I found myself staring at his face. It was scrunched up in pain, and I saw two rivers of tears flowing down his face.

Inside, I panicked. That's what I do when people cry. I never know what to say when people cry, because I always seem to make things worse. And doing that hugging thing is just too weird. I can't do that when people are awake, so what can I do when the crying person is asleep? Did he know that he cried? Why would he give me a room so close to his if he knew?

"Mother... Father!...No..." he sobbed. I winced, having some idea of what was going on in his head.

I hesitated, but then I forced my mouth to open. "Sasuke?" I tried to say. But my voice didn't come out; I only ended up mouthing it. I tried to clear my through without going 'AHEM', and tried again. "Sasuke?" This time I reached out to touch him, and for a split second I felt my hand shaking along with him.

I say split second because for the next part of the second, Sasuke woke up. And he did what any other ninja would do: Pin me up against the wall.

Ok, I can understand why he would do it. I mean if someone touches you in the middle of the night, you have to do something. It was his instinct. But there was his rough hand choking me, his Sharingan all up in my face, and it hurt!

"S... Sasuke!" I choked out.

Once he realized who I was, he loosened his hand, dropping me to the floor. Painfully. I rubbed my neck, and tried to ignore how hard my heart was beating.

Just before he turned away from me, I saw his red eyes turn black again. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

I couldn't think of anything to say. Anything smart, that is. "I... I thought I heard... um... a scary noise... um... in my closet... and..." If he could turn to look at me, I think he would have told me with his eyes how stupid he thought I was. Sasuke couldn't turn to look at me, though, I knew his eyes were still tear-stained. I think he knew it too.

"It's just the trees. Go back to sleep."

I nodded, though he didn't see it, and left silently. When I went back to my room, I wrote a bit more in my notebook before putting it away.

Thanks a lot, Sasuke-teme. Now you made me feel guilty, asshole!

I didn't hear a sound from his room for the rest of the night. I don't think he slept.