Title: Confused Heart
Author: Ying fa18 (just call me Ying fa! –wink-)
Short Summary: Falling in love? Great! Twice? Now that's different! A young girl's heart is caught up on who or what to follow…she can't just let destiny to unfold itself… she has to unfold it herself! Easier said than done…For now… Hope for the best!
Full Summary:Sakura Kinomoto falls in love with a total stranger on her birthday and finds out next morning that she's engaged to hell-knows-who and runs away to seek comfort down town and falls in love all over again, this time, to some commoner with an attitude who seems to be more than meets the eye…Can first love easily be just overcame by three weeks time by some who knows jackass?
Disclaimer slash claimer: Yes, I do own CCS and CLAMP……In my dreams! I don't own either one 'coz if I did it wouldn't be finished 'coz I would have died from all the excitement and romance of it all…sad….really….sigh
Ages: : Sakura-18 : Tomoyo-18 :
Caution: M rated…… for language! (hmm…evil people think naughty eh! hihihi)
Chapter 1: "The joy of being me…"
'Crap! I hate
this all! To hell with my life! Ugh!' A girl with waist-length
auburn hair, angelic features and striking emerald green eyes thought
to herself.
"Being a princess stinks!" Sakura said as she stood up straight as a maid helped her into a dress.
"That's you done mistress." The maid with shoulder-length red hair and dark blue eyes told her mistress, Princess Sakura Kinomoto.
"Well…ok I admit…it's not really that bad being a filthy, stinking, rich princess and all…" Sakura said as she stared at herself in the mirror.
She twirled around to better see her dress for tonight.
It was a spaghetti strap gown. It was light pink in the top and slowly got darker and turns into hot pink by the hem. It also had frills by the hem and above the chest part.
It was just right. Not too frilly, not too plain.
It went with her make-up perfectly.
Sakura never really fancied make-up, she only put on powder, pink eye shadow and clear lip gloss as an everyday wear.
But this day wasn't just and just an everyday. Today was her 18th birthday! So the maids, on Tomoyo Daidouji's orders of course, made her look simple, yet extra special on her 18th birthday.
Sakura had blush, pink lip gloss, powder, and light pink eye shadow.
Sakura Kinomoto, the princess of Japan. Currently 18 years old.
Heir to the throne of Japan ever since Prince Touya Kinomoto
declined. One and only biological daughter of queen Nadeshiko and
king Fujitaka Kinomoto.
Sakura's POV (point of view)
"Now you're ready to meet your doom Sakura." Cherry, her maid said to her giggling.
"Don't remind me! Please! I beg you! And… yeah… So you finally remembered to call me by my first name just like how I told you 3 months and 2 weeks ago! And counting I presume?" I said.
I told cherry she could call me by my first name. I never really wanted to be a princess…let alone be treated like one…but life just really needed to make my life miserable for some reason I have to find out someday…somehow…
"You're just lucky my respect was drained out for today from all the excitement from you birthday party…" Cherry said emphasizing the word "birthday party".
"And the orders!" Cherry added as an afterthought.
Cherry Sasaki, has been serving the Kinomoto family for eight years. Hired to be Sakura's personal maid. 28 years old.
Cherry was my only true friend in this castle… besides of course my cousin/step-sister/sister/best friend in the world, Tomoyo Daidouji.
Tomoyo is my best friend who also happens to be my second cousin.
Her mom, my aunt, Sonomi Daidouji, died when Tomoyo was 2 years old. After that, my mom went to their mansion to get her as we were the only family she has left now.
She wasn't exactly a princess like me.
Her family was just stinking rich. Probably second to us. So when she got to live here, all the money of her family was combined with ours but my mom, Nadeshiko Kinomoto, promised it would only be used for Tomoyo-chan's future. My dad, Fujitaka Kinomoto, gladly agreed as money wasn't that important to him as the well-being of his family, namely me, mom, my hell of a brother Touya, and his now-seems-to-be-but-really-isn't-'coz-that's-life daughter, Tomoyo.
"Ok, so are you ready for the 'finishing' touch?" Cherry said with an glint in her eyes.
'Wow…this must be good…that kind of glint only shows in the eyes of Tomoyo…this is gonna be one hell of a night…' I thought to myself seeing Cherry with that kind of spark…and smirk…scary…
When mom and dad told me that they planned to have a party for my 18th birthday, I requested for it to be a masquerade ball so that no one will treat me like I'm queen of the world.
'Not that I am of course…soon to be anyways…almost…' I thought to myself grinning.
After that little announcement, I immediately asked Cherry to make me a mask. Tomoyo already knew all this party thing and of course, she made my gown and when Cherry told her that I asked her to make a dress Tomoyo gave her the design for my mask and she worked on it.
"R-r-really…?" I asked. "Hell yeah!" she said and put it on me just as I closed my eyes.
'I think I'm a bad influence to Cherry now….' I thought as I heard her say the word "hell".
I kept my eyes closed and Cherry knew what I meant she guided me to the mirror and I opened my eyes to see. It was simple, perfect with what I was wearing. It was pink and it covered the edges of my eyes and at the sides it looked like it had little wings on it with glittery stuff.
Leave it to Tomoyo to make something like this.
"Kawaii ne? (cute right?)" Cherry asked.
I could just nod. My throat felt oddly dry for some reason I would hate to find out.
"Now for your hair…" she stated glancing at me.
She grabbed a red headband from my table. It was a headband that attached to the whole of your head on the back. It looked like three laces but joined together when it reached the back.
Cherry gently placed it on my head as if it were made of glass.
I twirled my head to the side to see my reflection better and smiled when my curls bounced.
Cherry and I curled the ends of my hair earlier to give it a fresh look. I was happy with it that way.
Suddenly, someone knocked on my door.
"Who is it?" I asked curiously, seriously wondering who it was.
"Geez Kura, who the hell do you think it is at this time? Shi no tenshi (angel of death)! " a voice I knew oh so too well replied.
'How ironic…'"Well, actually, yeah, you see, last week, my doctor came here and sadly said that I would be dying soon… sometime around by this week…so I assumed you were death, here to take me away from all this misery, pain and loneliness." I mildly said, trying to sound, half-grave, half sad.
All Cherry could say…rather…do… was laugh manically… loudly…
"Now really Sakura! You really shouldn't joke about things like that" Tomoyo said as she burst into my room (literally…), pulling up her lavender dress a bit so she won't trip.
She wore a long lavender dress with long sleeves that flared down when it reaches her hands and a white ribbon adorned her neck so it looked like a choker. By the way she lifted her dress, you could see her light purple step in shoes.
Lady Tomoyo Kinomoto, youngest daughter of the Kinomoto family,
almost… only daughter of Lady Sonomi and Ken Daidouji. 18 years
old, currently. Adopted by Nadeshiko when her cousin, Tomoyo's
mother, Sonomi died two years after Tomoyo's birth.
"Geez! Come on 'sis! You know me! I always joke around like that! And you know…you k-know…h-h-h-how…. How dead serious I am." I said trying to keep a straight face after I saw the look on her face. Which was hard.
All this was just unbearable! I just burst out laughing like the maniac I really am.
"Hmph!" was all Tomoyo could reply to me.
"Hey come on Tomoyo!" I said looking at her.
"You're not really mad at me are you? How can you with this cute face of mine?" I asked her making the cutest face EVER! Not that my face wasn't already cute as it is!
"Hey yourself Sakura! And you're ANYTHING but CUTE! You're so mean too!" She pouted at me.
"Hell yeah I am! Except for the me not being cute part!" I replied laughing.
"Now really, ok, Dad asked me to call you." Tomoyo said to me.
Dad told Tomoyo that she could call him dad, and Nadeshiko mom as we were her family now. Tomoyo was all just too happy at the idea having someone to call family again so she gladly obliged.
"Aw man…alright…" I sighed.
I knew what was coming, a long lecture about behaving myself and not run off just because no one knows who I am because of all the masky thingers.
"See ya Cherry, Tomo…" I said as I put on my pink step-in shoes and went on my way...sadly…
"I'm here, mom, dad…." I said as I curtsied to them as I went into their room… "…Touya…" I said as I glared.
"Hey kaiju" he said smiling at me.
"Ugh! Haven't you grown out of that brother dearest?" I said as I stuck out my tongue at him.
Prince Touya Kinomoto, eldest child and only son of the
Kinomoto family. 24 years old. Supposed to have been the heir to the
throne but wanted to have been a soldier so the throne was to be
passed down to their second eldest child, Sakura Kinomoto.
"Hell naw! And I don't plan on it you monster." He said laughing. "OUCH! Haven't you grown out of that?" my brother dearest asked after I stomped on his foot… HARD.
"Hell naw! And I don't plan on it brother of mine." I said mocking him.
"Whatever.." he said as he hopped out of the room.
I faced my parents, Nadeshiko and Fujitaka.
Queen Nadeshiko Kinomoto, mother of Touya, Sakura and Tomoyo.
40 years old (and still looking young!) Queen of Japan. Gladly gave
Tomoyo shelter, food, good education, love of a mother, a family,
and a future.
King Fujitaka Kinomoto, father of Touya, Sakura and Tomoyo. 51 years old. King of Japan. Gladly obliged to adopting Tomoyo when he heard of Sonomi's death and gave her the loving, fatherly affection she never got from her father Ken, who died even before Tomoyo was born.
"Now sakura, the reason we called you here, is not, as you expected, a lecture, yes Sakura, we're not going to lecture you, but instead, we're here to tell you that the reason for this party is so that you could find a suitable husband…" Nadeshiko said.
"H-h-h-h-HUSBAND!" I screamed letting mom's word sink in to me…
'hell no….please…' I thought as the word husband echoed in my head over and over again taunting me for as I assure, the rest of my life until I find a husband.
'well…the…erm…"bright" side to that is that there's a new entry to the "HOW TO BREAK BAD NEWS TO YOUR BELOVED DAUGHTER…" that book could seriously exist…and the author would be…yours truly, Sakura Kinomoto…'
"Yes Sakura, husband, as in a man to share your life with, a man who will care for you and love you, a man strong willed, who is there to be with you to comfort you…" Fujitaka stated...
"A man to provide you an heir I suppose?" I said reading their mind. Literally. It's a thing in all kinomotos…
"On the dot dear." Mom smiling softly at me as if it was the most happiest thing you could announce to your daughter...
'Great. Just what my life exactly needed… a boost to doom…' I thought groaning.
"Well, the party's starting, better get in there!" Mom said. I just walked out putting all that information together like a puzzle.
'My life is just too much of a crappy hell thing!' I thought to myself.
I went to the ball room to find thousands, (literally) of people already there, some were drinking, others dancing and just simply any person would do at a party like this one. The birthday of their beloved princess… I sighed.
'At least no one will know who I am.' I thought to myself.
I asked mom and dad to not introduce me, so no one will know who the hell is who.
The only ones that are going to be known are the king and queen, translation equals, dad and mom.
I sighed again.
I walked to the dance floor to try and find Tomoyo and after a bit, I found her by the table, grabbing a drink.
"Oooh! Sakura!" she greeted me.
"Sshh! I don't want anyone to know who I am! Just call me something else in public for now…like…uh…dunno…you think!" I said looking around to see if anyone heard me.
"Ok! Let's do it like this, since we both know Chinese anyway, I'll call you Ying fa! As in Chinese for Sakura! That alright with you?" Tomoyo asked grinning at me.
"Hey, why not!" I asked also grinning at her idea.
"What about you?" I asked her. But I instantly regretted it wondering why I even bothered.
She didn't mind it and not much people paid attention to her anyways since. Not that she minded.
"Don't worry about me Ying fa!" Tomoyo winked.
"So…what do we do?" I asked her looking around.
A lot of people were dancing with each other… all of them looked like they were really having fun…except for… one guy…
He wore a black hood and a mask over the edges of his yes just like mine… I couldn't see his hair… just his nose and mouth and everything else below that. He wore a gray long sleeved button-up shirt and black pants and shiny shoes…. He had his arms crossed just looking around at everyone…no…looking isn't right…more like… like… like...glaring at them…as if it was the world's worst sin to enjoy, have fun and dance and act like how everyone should act at a party…and in everyday life…
'hmm…gothic…sad…must be…?' I thought after observing his clothes…and his glare…
'Wonder who he is…must be one lucky fella not being forced to dance… or marry a guy…erm…girl… overnight…' I thought to myself.
"Come on Ying fa! We should do what normal people do at parties! Have fun!" Tomoyo said with a glint in her eyes.
She just loved parties. It gives her a chance to take ideas from what other people wear, and out of it, create new ones….for me…
"Yeah but we're not normal people Tomo! We're the princesses! Well...me…but still…you could still be one if I decide to reject the throne…" I started not taking my eyes off the guy.
He too was looking around the place. Just watching the people do their stuff.
"Come one Ying fa! Isn't that what the whole mask things are for? So that you would look like a normal person! So come on! Lets go!" Tomoyo said grabbing my hand.
Tomoyo glanced back at me.
"I doubt mom and dad would allow you to step down…" Tomoyo said gravely.
"I… I guess…I forgot…" I said sadly forgetting that teeny info…" I said.
"And…Oh yeah! I also forgot I had this stupid mask on…" I said as I suddenly remembered I had a mask on.
I finally tore my eyes away from that strange kid and turned to face Tomoyo.
I looked around again... just out of curiosity. The boy was gone!
'curiosity killed the cat?' I thought thinking about how strange that guy is.
"Oooh! Look Sakura! They're playing Purachina! (Platinum!) one of your favorite songs!
Mom really wanted to make this party special for you!" Tomoyo said humming to the tune.
---End of Sakura's POV---
---
Platinum is the 3rd opening song from card captor sakura season 2 –wink-
I'm a dreamer…hisomu PAWA-…
watashi no sekaiyume to koi to fuan de dekite'ru
demo souzou wo shinai monokakurete'ru hazu
sora ni mukau kiki no you ni anata wo
massugu mitsumete'ru
mitsuketai naa kanaetai naa
shinjiru sore dake de
koerarenai mono wa nai
utau you ni kiseki no you ni
"omoi" ga subete wo kaete yuku yo
kitto kitto
odoroku Kurai
I'm a dreamer
hisomu PAWA-…
mada minu sekai
soko de nani ga matte-ite mo
moshimo risou to chigatte mo
osore wa shinai
tori-tachi wa kaze ni nori tabi wo shite yuku
kyou kara ashita e to
tsutaetai naa… sakebitai naa…
kono yo ni hitotsu dake no sonzai de aru watashi
inoru you ni hoshi no you ni
chiisa na hikari dakedo itsuka wa
motto motto
tsuyoku naritai
genkai no nai kanousei ga koko ni aru
kono te ni
(It's gonna be your world.)
mitsuketai naa kanaetai naa
shinjiru sore dake de
koerarenai mono wa nai
utau you ni kiseki no you ni
"omoi" ga subete wo kaete yuku yo
kitto kitto
odoroku Kurai!
---
TRANSLATION…
---
I'm a dreamer...
Hidden power...
My world
is made of dreams, love, and worries.
But there are still things lying hidden
that I can't even imagine
---
Sakura liked this song… she felt it reflected how she is…what she wants…how things should be…Her world was made of dreams…how she wants her life to be… love… being protected by her loved ones…not knowing any other except them…WORRIES… about finding a husband over night…
---
Facing the sky, like all the different trees,
I'm gazing right at you.
I want to find my dream... I want to make it come true...
There is nothing that I can't overcome
if I only believe.
Just like singing, just like miracles,
"feelings" can change everything!
Without a doubt... Without a doubt...
It's almost surprising!
I'm a dreamer...
Hidden power...
A world yet unseen...
No matter what awaits me there,
even if it's not the ideal,
I won't be afraid.
The birds travel on the wind
on a journey from today to tomorrow.
The birds travel on the wind
on a journey from today to tomorrow.
I want to tell you... I want to shout it...
---
'how I wish I could mom… dad…' Sakura thought sadly
---
I am but one entity in this world.
But like a prayer, like a star,
even with a small light, someday,
I want to be
stronger and stronger.
There are limitless possibilities,
right here in my grasp.
(It's gonna be your world.)
I want to find my dream... I want to make it come true...
There is nothing that I can't overcome
if I only believe.
Just like singing, just like miracles,
"feelings" can change everything!
Without a doubt... Without a doubt...
It's almost surprising!
-END-
---
Sakura wanted to have her own dream…her own goal…one she has thought of herself…something she wants…not because someone thought it for her… like the throne being passed to her…
---
She wished that there really is nothing she can't overcome…but that's hard if you're a princess locked from reality…how life truly is… how life truly works…how love finds its way to you…not vice versa…
---
She wishes that it's true that nothing's impossible…
'But whoever said that nothing's impossible obviously didn't try to slam a revolving door…or spread his wings… or get a guy pregnant…or…I'll stop right there…' Sakura thought.
---
She dreams that if she releases what she truly feels inside to her parents… she can have things go her way…not theirs…but hers…
A shooting star flies overhead…unnoticed by anyone except an old man…
"My, my...so many wishes…so much desire…yet …all possible…even for…just…three weeks…." The old man murmured to himself…
"Just to let you have a glimpse…together with…that other boy…Prepare for your best three weeks...this is a once in a lifetime chance..."the man chuckled…
She again looked around… And found the boy she saw earlier.
He wasn't looking so grumpy now…As if the world has been turned upside down in a matter of seconds… changing all the sad and lonely things to happy and bright things…turning all the horror into happiness and dreams and fantasies to reality…without Sakura…leaving her as miserable...as ever and always...
he was walking towards the food… then disappeared.
'I lost him in the crowd.' Sakura thought to herself.
'Wait! Why do I even bother! What the crap's going on with me! UGH!' Sakura added to herself as an afterthought.
But after a while…he emerged…he was eating something…
'What is it?' Sakura thought trying to get a look at the food the mysterious boy was holding.
'Wait! Why the hell am I even wondering what crap that guy stuffs in his dirty mouth who's been to Kami-sama (God -don't wanna disobey the second commandment saying "Do not use the name of God in vain" I'm like that…hehe….well…-) knows where! I'm going crazy… hell I should be in a mental hospital! What's going on with me! Ugh!' Sakura said mentally to herself.
'Hey look…Chocolate…hmm…weird…NO! I'M WEIRD! I need to get these thought out of my head that holds my beautiful hair…mmm…WAIT! I'm thinking WHAT about my HAIR? ARGH! I'M GOING MAD…INSANE…' Sakura thought scrunching up her face without realizing it trying to drive away the thoughts about the mysterious boy…and her hair….hmm….
"Uhm…Sakura? Are you…alright?" Tomoyo asked looking at Sakura's scrunched up face…"Are you feeling sick or something? " Tomoyo added.
"uhmm…no…it's alright…I just got back from my own little world…he...he -/swt (anime sweat drop)-…uh…yeah…." Sakura said.
Tomoyo knew what sakura meant by "her own little world"
Sakura usually would space out sometimes when a sudden thought hits her…or when she has a mental battle between Sakura and….well…Sakura…. -/swt-
Tomoyo sweat dropped inside her own head seeing her sister like this…acting like a child…on her 18th birthday…-sigh-
'that's how my sister…Sakura Kinomoto is….this is how she lives it…her life…it's the joy of being Sakura Kinomoto…princess of all Japan…' Tomoyo thought to herself following sakura going towards the food table as the next song, "Let Me Be With You" played.
(Let Me Be With You)
I cast a spell to let me meet somebody…
The end!
Hope ya'll enjoyed Chapter 1: "THE JOY OF BEING ME…"
Hehe…just wanna say…I was inspired by my idol's stories…my idol is
WOLF BLOSSOM. For me, she's the best writer of Sakura fanfics! I've read ALL of them! Seriously! No joke! Sorry if you think this chapter is short! This is also my first story on CCS! I've don one on my notebook but I ain't gonna post it here 'coz it's a multiple crossover from CCS, my brain, Vision of Escaflowne, Saber marionette J, etc. can't remember right now…demo…can't post it! Hehe…
Reviews are happily accepted! ---hugz you all!---
---Ying fa18---