Summary: Naruto had a rough, tedious past. From being mistreated in orphanages, living on the streets, and becoming an exotic dancer. But what happens when someone shows up at his door talking about an arranged marriage with the famed Uchiha Itachi? Can Naruto survive living up the the Uchiha standards and dealing with a dry, empty marriage? Or will he put it behind him and go "far"?

Part One of Naruto: The Baddest Bitch Series

Warning: This story is not what you think it is, the plot will probably get deeper each chapter. But anyway, *inhales* THIS STORY CONTAINS YAOI, MEANING: GUY ON GUY, ASS ON DICK, AND PENISES. The pairing is Ita/Naru in the order of Seme/Uke or Top/Bottom. Naruto is gonna be a little bit OOC because he's a lot more vulgar and loud, but secretly smart. So I guess he's gonna be BAMF Naruto. Itachi will be OOC as well, but only in the beginning, so it will change later on. This story contains sexual situations, coarse language, guns, violence and abuse. So beware...

Categories: Romance (eventual), Humor and Angst.

Rating: M

I don't Naruto or Naruto Shippuden, Masashi Kishimoto does. But if I did, Sasuke's bitch ass would have never left a gem like Naru-chan, and Danzo would've died the first episode.

~oO0Oo~

Kurai taiyō no hikari

~oO0Oo~

Prologue: Plotting

Flashback: 3 years ago

Sakura petals were blowing in the wind as the sound of children's laughter filled the neighborhood. All in all, it was a serene day. Birds were chirping, zephyrs were carrying the sound of chatter of talkative mothers, and the temperature was just right for-

"So why did I see you fuckin' some random bitch on my bed just five minutes ago, Uchiha!" A raspy, yet velvety voice echoed throughout the mansion… and probably the whole country.

Black, red-tinted eyes widened a fraction before narrowing. "It is none of your concern of what I do in this room, Uzumaki." A cool, impassive tone that could cut through the air like a knife in butter, passed throughout the room.

"It is when you're doin' it my bed! Ya know, like the bed I put my clean body into?! And you're contaminatin' it with your dick juices and liquid babies!"

A dark, perfectly arched eyebrow raised. "Liquid babies?"

Cerulean eyes rolled as a sigh escaped. "Figure it out Uchiha-bastard, use that brain you're always praised for."

Dark eyes blinked disbelievingly at the blond's blatant disrespect.

"Nah Itachi, you see, this is what we're not gonna do-" The blond was about to start clapping his hands.

Naruto's behavior was new to Itachi. He has never seen the 19 year old act this way towards him before. "Naruto, since when did you learn to speak like this?"

"Nunya damn business! So let's get back at the topic at hand." Naruto inhaled deeply before saying, "Which is you fuckin' a random bitch on my innocent bed that has done nothing to deserve this mistreatment-"

"Naruto, what happened to the ditzy, obedient little blonde that came at my beck and call?"

Naruto's eyes flashed a crimson red in anger at the raven's arrogant tone. But then plump lips smirked before saying, " What happened to the humble man that didn't let fame get to his head? Ya know, you used to be so wise back then, I think I could've even fell in love with you. But nooooo, you let your family dictate who you were as a person, and now you've changed. Hell, I even find it hilarious when you call the teme 'foolish otouto' because the real fool here is you. Simply tragic." The blond sighed in fake sorrow. "So, have fantastic life, and good day, sir!" The sunshine-blond stood up on his shapely legs and went to leave the room before being rudely interrupted.

"Where do you think you're going?" The man's voice was monotone, but you could easily hear the underlying anger.

"Daaaaang pretty boy, are you having an off day or what? Are your brain cells drinkin' bleach from having to live in such a bastardy brain?" Plump, pink lips smirked mischievously.

Itachi's eye twitched.

"Oooook, I'll even spell it out for you since your comprehensive skills are lacking today." Naruto said mockingly. "I'm leaving the mansion and never coming back. I'm sick of having to live with stoic bastards that act like they have a ten foot pole stuck up their ass! I'm sick of having to take lessons on how to be the "appropriate wife" and how to present myself to this world! So fuck your standards and this godforsaken marriage!"

While listening to this, Itachi's schooled, unemotional visage broke into utter surprise. The raven immediately jumped up and said, "You are not going anywhere! You are mine, meaning that you cannot leave."

"Oooh get real honey, yes the fuck I am - Oh! And by the way, here's your ring back!" Naruto threw a ring with rubies and the Uchiha emblem surrounding the metal band at Itachi's forehead, then swiftly turned and walked out the door, closing it with a wall shuttering slam.

The raven stood in the middle of the room in shock. He had a small red spot forming in the middle of his forehead. 'How dare he?! I thought I would leave Naruto before he left me. He used to be so quiet and sweet, so who is this...this delinquent that just insulted me? I need answers.' He stood up on long legs.

Itachi ripped the door open and ran down the corridor, his low ponytail flying up as he flew by doors in the hallway rapidly.

He finally made it to the front door to witness Naruto getting in a taxi cab with all of his bags. 'So this was planned from the very beginning?' The man pondered with controlled, but increasing rage.

The raven ran up to the car door just as the car was getting ready to pull out of the cobblestone driveway. Naruto surprisingly rolled down the car window and looked up with big blue eyes expectedly.

"So after we pulled you out of the strip club and let you in our house with kindness when you basically had no home, you're just going to up and leave like that?" Itachi asked with contained fury.

Cerulean eyes blinked slowly about three times before Naruto finally answered. "Yup." One slim, tan finger pushed on a button, and the tinted car window ascended back at the top. Naruto turned his head to the supposed cab driver. "Come on Kaka-chan, I wanna get to the airport sometime this year." He whined cutely.

The silver headed man smiled from under his black mask, and said, "Okay Naruto-chan, anything for you." Kakashi placed his foot on the gas pedal and pulled out of the driveway and exited through golden gates with the Uchiha fan on it. The obnoxiously colored car flew down the road at high speeds towards Tokyo Narita Airport as a raven stared at the road road in disbelief.

The blond took off his shoes and sat improperly in the the car seat as he picked up his brand new smart phone (with a new number, too) and dialed a familiar number. After a few rings it finally went through.

"Who is this?" An aged voice asked with annoyance.

"Oi, Ero-sennin, is that anyway to greet your cute, newly free godson?" Naruto said with humor lacing his tone.

"S'bout damn time you got out of that house, gaki. But did you really need to interrupt my research for this?" Jiraiya asked from the other line.

"When are ya gonna quit with this research shit? It's always 'research this, research that' when we both know you just perv on innocent women-"

"Whatever gaki! You know this is for my latest book, Icha Icha-"

"-and you're just an old, wrinkly man who probably can't even get it up in the bedroom and-"

"SHUT UP GAKI!"

Beautiful laughter filled up the car. Even Kakashi snickered.

Jiraiya's tone suddenly turned serious."Ok gaki, are you sure you are ready to open up this organization? You know this can get dangerous-"

"Awww, is Jiraiya-chan worried about little ol' me? How cute. Ya know damn well that I can handle this, I'm badass -ttebayo." Naruto dramatically flipped his hair, even though it wasn't even long enough to flip.

Grumbles could be heard through the other line. "Last time I try to be worried about you." The phone made a loud beep, signaling that the call was over.

"How rude." The little blond pouted.

Kakashi chuckled loudly.

Flashback Over

'Heh. I still remember that day like it was yesterday.' The 22-year-old blond smiled, reminiscing.

"-Uzumaki-sama!" A normally lazy voice yelled sharply as he tried to get his boss's attention.

"Yes Shikamaru-kun?"

A tall brunette stood in the door entrance lackadaisically. His half lidded eyes were a deep, chocolate brown and his long brown hair was tied up in a spiky ponytail "It's time for orientation." He drawled.

The little blond smirked sadistically. "Yay! Time for torturing!" He cheered excitedly as he bounced out of his office to change into more appropriate apparel.

Shikamaru shivered in fear for the members. 'That blond is scary, but hot. Mendokuse.'

~oO0Oo~

Many young adults were located in a spacious, beautifully decorated dojo with fox paintings adorning the walls. They were chattering to one another to pass the time waiting for for their leader to make his first appearance.

"Alright ladies!" A loud booming voice cut off all the chatter in the room immediately. "Make sure your panties are on all the way because this very day determines if you are fit to be in this gang, Akai Uzu, dattebayo!"

TBC

Well y'all... that was the prologue to my first story ever. If you want this story to continue please review (even though I'm probably gonna continue it anyway). So RR!