Roy Mustang understood that he didn't have the luxury to dwell on his regrets. All he could do was move forward, and try to change things.
But sometimes…
He stared at the boy seated across the desk from him. He was scowling, which Roy had learnt very quickly was his default expression; and Roy was sure his arms would be folded if it wasn't for the sling supporting his right arm. Other than that, the boy was uninjured. But Roy was aware of how badly things could've gone.
"What possessed you to run after him?"
"Because he was the bad guy."
That was a childish answer, but the person giving it was just a child. At his side he heard Riza Hawkeye sigh, a noise that was almost unnoticeable.
"It didn't occur to you to wait for backup?"
"If I'd done that he would've got away!"
And you wouldn't be sitting here with broken automail.
"Full-" Roy stopped. That was wrong. The Fullmetal Alchemist – that was an adult's title. A person heard that name and they'd picture someone like Basque Grand, not the tiny twelve year old with a permanent scowl sitting at his desk. Edward could've been one of the children visiting their parents while they were at work, not a solider in his own right. He started again. "Edward." Impatient golden eyes met his.
"Well, what? I haven't got all day."
"Are you positive that this – being a State Alchemist - is what you want to be doing?"
"You're kidding right? You come all the way to Resembool and practically beg me to become a State Alchemist and now you want me to go home? Worried I'm stealing all your glory, that it?"
Edward took Roy's silence as an affirmation.
"Well that's too fucking bad for you. I'm where I want to be, and I'm doing what I want to be doing."
"I'm just asking you to consider the possibility –"
"I made my choice and it had nothing to do with you." Roy pictured another boy with golden eyes and hair, a boy whose face he only knew through a photograph he'd seen the Elric house. "If that's everything Colonel" it was amazing how much disrespect Edward could cram into a single word, "then I'm going."
He left, slamming the door behind him.
"Remind me not to show concern for him again." Roy said, half to himself, half to Riza.
Riza moved from his side to take the chair Edward had recently left, "He's not chosen an easy path."
"Did he choose it, though?" Or did I make up his mind?
"All you did was offer him a choice. And hope."
Roy could still picture the boy in the wheelchair. Edward had looked like he'd given up, and that wasn't an expression Roy ever wanted to see on the face of an eleven year old again. It had only been when Roy had given him the possibility of being able to restore his brother that Edward had even reacted to his presence.
But still. It didn't change anything. It may have helped his career but that didn't mean he didn't regret it.
"Edward is stubborn." Riza continued, "he would've come to the military on his own in time."
Roy laughed, "No-one could be as stubborn as that."
"Really? I can think of someone who is." She had reached over to take some of the papers from his side of the desk, and allowed her hand to brush against his for the briefest of moments.
Roy smiled, and pulled Edward's report towards him. He'd need to give it a quick read over before he signed it. The Fullmetal Alchemist had a bad habit of adding unflattering observations about his commanding officer into his official reports.
Paperwork may be dull, but it had to be done. Like Edward, Roy had his own journey to complete. And nothing was going to stand in his way.