"Tree? What tree?" he sighted. Sometimes Remus was just to romantic for his own good. He looked up at the ancient willow, its branches was spread above his head, taking him in into a breath-taking embrace. He didn't feel well in enclosed places, he had never done since he had been a child and even this poor tree did make the hair at his back to rise.
"Why this tree?" he asked his lover anxiously.
"Because it's green and calming and everything." Lupin explained enthusiastically.
"All trees are green you know." Severus was starting to get really annoyed by now. Couldn't Remus see that he didn't feel very well in this fucking place? He probably didn't, or he simply didn't care. The grey eyes met his dark brown ones and Lupins face went into looking very disappointed. Severus just heaved a sight and turned on his heal, leaving as he should have done before he even stepped inside this hopples bush.
"Why are you always so insensitive?" it was Remus again, couldn't he just leave him alone? It was strange how this wonderful person had started to irritate him lately. It would be soon six months since he had met the wolf in the hospital wing after yet another nightly adventure in his dog fur. As he lay there exhausted and vulnerable he looked so beautiful, and Severus had of cause been forced to fall for him, as he was one of the few who didn't seem to turn their backs on him. But as soon as they started to go out together, as the wolf gained his strength, he had begun to be a real murder.
"I'm not insensitive." He decided to reply, his usual tone of ignorance feasted firmly in place. This didn't seem to convince Remus a bit as he saw the flash of hurt in his eyes. He heaved yet another sight. Why was Remus so fucking sensitive then? What was wrong with this man? He knew what was wrong with him, he was simply gay witch Severus unfortunately was not. Even if he had no problem to sleep with the man and he even found himself enjoying it, he felt nothing for him. He somehow didn't feel anything at all, for anyone or anything.
It had been long ago and Severus just didn't what to think about it too often, and still he did. He remembered breaking up with Lupin just a few days after the tree incident. More people like this had followed. At school it had been only Lupin, everyone ells seemed to despise him to much or just seemed to be to frightened of Potter and Black to risk their own skin for his. But after school he had had a few girls in his apartment, none of them lasting longer then six months. With the war at his heels and then his conscience even closer after the unfortunate day that Potter had died, he had no more lust to be with people more then he had to. After the war he had gotten his quiet place at Hogwarts where he could take his anger out on the kids and not on adults that actually could take revenge. And then the second war that took every last hope he had left. He somehow managed to fuck everything up for himself. No one believed him now, from none of the sides. He was finally left alone as he had always wanted, but now it seemed too lonely. With no real work but to brew and sell potions for the black market and his not to good-looking apartment in London, he missed something. His life went in a to boring pattern of everyday work, walks out in the smog, reading, eating and sleeping.
He closed his eyes shut against the light from the streetlamp outside his window and cast the blanket over himself, sure that this night as so many others, he would not get any sleep at all.
In the same time a much younger women, thought the same in her bed. Even if she had a red haired husband snoring by her side, it didn't feel that good at all, it had felt better some years back, during the war, but that was then. Now it was different and much more complicated then it had been then. Marriage had in her case turned out to be much more trying then the whole war itself.