This is just some crap I wrote on a trip when my little brother was talking about this Rome Total War. Its not a bad game, I just pointed out some strange flaws that I found during playing it.
The legions marched forward, their unison breathing and stomping made things easier on Emperor Dumaz son of Dumadze grandson of Dumb Ass. He breathed calmly and looked at the incredibly simple stone bridge that stood in front of his approaching legions. The other army morphed into a single mass and charged blindly at the side of the bridge. Their yells strangely traveled all the way to the catapult crossbow things next to him.
"Switch into Phalanx position Soldiers." They did not adjust their spears a bit and a few nonconformist warriors started to shake wildly as they bumped into the edge of the bridge wall.
"Sir You Can't move more than one units of a the roman imperial bartenders onto the bridge at a time sir." Dumaz's advisor yelled from five feet away into his ear.
"Well, why not!" He stared dumbfounded at his cross eyed and moronic assistant who simply bobbed his head up and down at his request.
Meanwhile, the imperial legion bartenders were being slaughtered by the Turks who aimlessly stabbed at the air around them.
"Retreats1!!!1one!!" Another yelled "Raise your surrender are flag!"
The morons ran on invisible treadmills up the hill all the while yelling nonsensical words and stabbing their spears through their heads. Then they collided with charging warriors who combined and twirled uselessly in the air.
"Idiots!"
"Sir, your armies are completely oblivious to what you are saying! This is no way for an army to behave, if only your general had done a betters job!"
"Oh, Shut up." Then Dumaz felt a pain in his stomach and reached down with his hand to feel the arrow gouged into his organs. He then felt an urge to fall to the ground and pass out.
"Sir your general has fallen. Your armies suddenly feel the urge to continue fighting and to get off their translucent stairmasters Sir!" These were the last words he heard before passing away to the main screen where he clicked save battle preview for is has the bestest save ma' challengar.
Ok so it wasn't Charles Dickens but I thought it was ok.
Please review thanks Photo88