Harder to Breathe

by licketyli

Sasuke comes back to Konoha after three years absence and awakens age old feelings in Naruto he thought he had finally buried.

Title: Harder to Breathe
Author: licketyli
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst/Romance
Wordcount: 7,894
Summary: Sasuke comes back to Konoha after three years absence and awakens age old feelings in Naruto he thought he had finally buried.

Note: This story disregards most current events. It's still set in the same Naruto-verse, but I am not up to date on the manga and a lot of facts were smudged to fit. For example, Sasuke didn't leave in this story until much later.

"Sasuke's back." Sakura sipped her drink. "Did you hear about that, Naruto?"

Naruto stilled, his heart hammering in his chest. Years ago, this would have been the best news anyone could possibly give him, but now it only reopened old wounds. Whatever kind of intimate bond the two had had in the past was obviously unimportant if Sasuke could leave without looking back as he had. It was as if what they had together was just a meaningless, enjoyable convenience. It had only taken him a few years to get it through his thick head that some people just didn't care.

Gone was the naive, optimistic boy that he used to be. He had wizened up over the years and held a quiet, respected maturity. He was still cheerful and outgoing, but it had definitely toned considerably down as he matured.

Despite all this, he was dismayed to find the familiar old feelings stirring again, as if they had simply taken a long nap.

"What?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? I thought for sure Tsunade would tell you, knowing how close you guys are." Sakura smiled brightly. "Apparently, he just kind of showed up. In return for him being allowed to stay in the village, he offered some vital information. A lot of it, apparently."

"Sounds awfully suspicious. Why would they believe him?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what he told them, it's top secret, but it obviously impressed Tsunade and elders because he was permitted to stay. He's back in his old house and everything, ANBU guards are apparently supposed to keep an eye on him."

"That makes no sense. They wouldn't even let a dog in here, let alone a dangerous missing nin."

Sakura smiled wryly. "Doesn't make any sense to me either, but look on the bright side, it seems like he had a change of heart after all."

Naruto frowned deeply, his chest feeling oddly sore in a place he hadn't known had the capacity to hurt anymore.

"Somehow, I really doubt that."

-

Naruto barged into Tsunade's office. The ANBU guards stationed around barely batted an eyelash as he charged through them. They were used to his sudden entrances by now and Tsunade always waved them away and allowed him through.

"Old hag!" Naruto fumed, storming up to her.

"Why, hello Naruto, nice to see you too!" She chuckled, rolling up a scroll she had in her hands. "To what do I owe this pleasant visit?"

"Have you lost your mind? Letting Sasuke back into the village, that easily?"

Reopening old wounds I thought had long past healed, tearing my heart to pieces all over again?

She furrowed her brow. "I knew no one could keep things secret around here, it hasn't even been a day and word's already gotten around. What happened to confidentiality?" She waved her hands around in despair.

"Tsunade, come on! Can you please let me in on what's going on here? He's dangerous! He's tried to kill me on multiple occasions! Don't you care about me at all?" Naruto still had a flair for the dramatic.

"That was years ago, boy. I don't think he will give you any problems this time around."

"His very presence gives me trouble!" Not in quite the way she might think, either.

Tsunade arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

"Listen Naruto, this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm a very smart woman. If I thought that he posed any threat, I would not have let him into the village."

"So that's why you have him guarded by ANBU members, huh?" Naruto countered.

She waved her hand dismissively. "That's to give everyone a little peace of mind."

"You've lost it, you've finally lost it, haven't you? Old age finally gotten to you, hasn't it? I always knew you were getting a bit daft, but this really takes the cake. You-"

"Naruto!" His rant was cut short by Hokage's sudden shout. "Enough. I haven't had enough to drink today to deal with this. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to learn to live with this. Sasuke will be staying."

"But-"

"Go!"

"Fine." Naruto glared. Fists clenched, he turned and stormed out. He couldn't believe Tsunade was so adamant about Sasuke, of all people. He wish he knew what Sasuke had said that had convinced her so thoroughly.

-0-

Naruto opened the door to his apartment and slid his Jounin vest to the floor. He didn't quite have the same ambitions as he had in the past. After Sasuke left, it was like a part of his light had gone with him. He had never been able to really get it back, though he loathed to admit that to himself. He really wanted to believe he was stronger than that. Sasuke really didn't deserve any part of him.

He had reached the Jounin status just a year ago, not for lack of power, but for lack of motivation. He detested the person he became when he was fighting, a real monster. It only took one time of losing control and slashing apart a whole crew of enemy ninjas for him to realize that with the Kyuubi he had a very unfair advantage. He could still smell the fear. He could still feel the beating heart as he shoved his claws through a man's chest. He could still see the vivid emerald eyes, looking up into his in bleak despair. It was then he realized that these were not nameless enemies, these were real people, people he could easily have been friends with in other circumstances.

He shuddered at the memory, sitting down on his bed and flopping backwards to gaze at the ceiling. That day, still covered in blood, he had entered Tsunade's office and somberly requested not to take anymore missions. Tsunade, for her part, had never questioned it.

It was funny how things change. Years ago, Naruto would never have imagined giving up fighting; it was what he lived for. Then he grew up and realized that it was not all it was cracked up to be.

Now Naruto spent his days out with his friends, eating dinner, and teaching his very own Genin team. He still took the occasional mission, but only when he was absolutely needed.

His thoughts wandered again back to Sasuke. Why was he back again, after so long? They had been lovers for little over a year before he left. It was just one meager year, but a passionate, incredible year. No one had known. Naruto didn't particularly want to give people another reason to hate him and Sasuke didn't share anything with anyone, let alone the details of his personal life. They had never really discussed it; it was just something that was always understood.

The day he left, they had sparred in the woods as usual. Sasuke had smirked and told him he was, amazingly enough, actually getting decent, and Naruto had felt such pride. Then Sasuke pinned him to the ground and told him that he was "decent for an idiot" and before Naruto could even get riled up, he had kissed him deeply and passionately.

"You're so cute when you're all riled up." He had said, ruffling his hair. He hadn't been able to keep back his smile, and Sasuke had reflected one back at him. It was one of those rare things that Naruto had always cherished because only he got to see it. Sasuke's real smile.

Sasuke then climbed off of him and laid in the grass behind him. He gazed up at the setting sun. He then had closed his eyes and sighed contentedly, reaching down and holding onto Sasuke's hand, who gripped back.

"I really do love you." Sasuke had whispered, very quietly.

"You're making me blush!" Naruto had whispered back, jokingly. "But you know, I guess I really love you too."

Naruto had felt content then, as if everything was right in the world, as long as Sasuke was next to him, as long as he felt the same way he did, then nothing else really mattered. There was a long peaceful silence and Naruto remembered not wanting to speak or else it would break this perfect moment. He drifted off, which wasn't something he was usually prone to, and when he had awoken, Sasuke was gone. Naruto's heart dropped, instantly knowing that something was amiss, but not knowing what exactly it was.

Naruto would find out later that Sasuke was gone. He had very deliberately packed up his things and fled the village, without so much as saying goodbye to anyone.

Sasuke left, for good. Naruto had quietly lost his flame that day. It hadn't quite been snuffed out, more so that it slowly lost its heat and burnt out after long days of waiting, hoping, and longing.

Now he was back. Naruto ran his fingers through his golden hair. It had lengthened with the years and now was down to his chin. It was still slightly messy, but no longer spiky as it had once been. He liked it better this way; it had slowly lost its flair, just as he had.

He threw his hands over his face and clenched them tightly, ashamed to find himself close to tears. Ashamed to find out, abruptly, that maybe he wasn't quite over it at all.

-0-

"Naruto?" There was a delicate knock on the door. "Naruto?"

Naruto woke up in a haze, wondering why his chest was hurting so much. It had been a long time since he felt anything, why now? The day before came back to him like a punch in the face and Naruto gasped, his heart aching further. Fuck.

"Naruto, it's Hinata."

"Ah! Hold on!" Naruto scrambled, throwing on his loose black pants and the matching shirt, with a broad vertical orange stripe down the center. He took a look at the time, wincing as he noticed it was 12 PM.

"Yori asked me to come and check on you. You didn't show up to train them today, so they were concerned..."

Naruto jerked open the door, Hinata stood in the doorway. Her eyes stared directly at him and then seemed to waver and look beyond him. She had gotten over most of her shyness, but it was still there.

"I'm sorry! I must've over slept, fuck." The blonde rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, smiling broadly. "Count on Yori to send someone over to check on me, such a mother hen. You think they would be glad for a day off, ne?"

Hinata laughed softly, covering her mouth with her petite fingers. "I can't believe you would say such things, if Iruka found out you were skipping out on training, he would be so upset with you..."

"Oh no! You don't think those little squirts are going to tell him, do you?" Naruto asked worriedly, staring at her wide eyed. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Iruka to entrust a Genin team to him, as he was still so young himself, a mere 26. The last thing in the world he wanted was to let him down.

"I don't know Naruto, Kenji was really upset. He said something about you teaching him a special move...something about getting into the girl's showers?" She crossed her arms, smiling. Naruto flushed, vaguely remembering telling the kid about his sexy no jutsu. He kind of reminded Naruto of himself.

"I don't know what he means by that." Naruto avoided her gaze. "Anyways, they'll be fine. I'm hungry. Want to join me for some breakfast, or uh, lunch?"

He flashed her a blinding smile, Hinata blushed. She had always had a little bit of a crush on the blonde, but had no hopes for anything to come of it. Naruto never seemed interested in anyone, which was a shame. He had grown into a sweet and handsome man. "It just so happens I'm meeting up with Kiba and Neji at Ichiraku, if you want to come..."

"Ichiraku? Do I ever! Let's go!"

-0-

Naruto waved like a madman when they came upon Neji and Kiba. Hinata followed close behind. He took a seat beside Kiba, while Hinata perched on the other side of Neji.

"Hey guys, long time no see!"

"Hmph, so I heard you ditched your Genin team today, Naruto." Neji said sternly, though his eyes twinkled. "Kaeko, Kenji, and Yori were really upset. They said you've never missed training before, thought you died or something. They were frantically waving down anyone who walked by, asking for information on their "lost sensei"."

Kiba laughed loudly, in between bites of his soup. "Oh, that's classic!"

Naruto swallowed guiltily. "I slept in. Must've been really tired."

Neji looked for all world like he knew something was amiss, but he was never one to press into another person's business.

"Yo, Naruto. Did you hear about Sasuke?" Kiba babbled. "He's back. I saw him when I was turning in my mission report yesterday and nearly had a heart attack, thought I was seeing ghosts or something."

Naruto struggled to appear nonchalant.

"Oh? Yeah, Sakura mentioned it."

"I wonder what he's been up to all these years. Maybe he's been doing some hardcore training and is back here to show off."

"Somehow, I doubt that." Neji responded and rolled his eyes. "I heard he joined Akatsuki, that's been the general consensus since he left."

"No way, he couldn't have been a part of them, he would be dead. They all got wiped out. Hey Naruto, you and Sasuke were really close, right? What do you think?"

Naruto barely noticed as the cook set down his bowl of ramen in front of him.

"We weren't that close, really." He absentmindedly stirred the steaming bowl. Hinata silently observed, she was always drowned out by the boys.

"Sure you were, you guys were always together. Attached to the hip! You can't even tell me you guys weren't best buds!" Kiba said incredulously, completely oblivious to the blonde's increased discomfort.

"We were just partners. Nothing more. He wasn't the social type." Naruto bluffed easily, he had gotten a lot of questions about the mysterious Sasuke over the years. Lying about it had become so second nature to him that in conversations like this, he could almost believe it himself.

"Oh, yeah, he always did have a stick up his ass." Kiba grumbled.

The topic then changed to other unimportant things, for which Naruto was greatly relieved. He was having a harder time masking his emotions than usual today.

-0-

For the next week, Naruto purposefully avoided the entire side of town where Sasuke lived. Sakura had come and kept him updated on every bit of news about him. She was always a gossiper and seemed to figure since it was his ex-team mate as well that he was the best person to talk to about it. The daily updates both agonized and relieved him.

"He's not going to be on house arrest much longer." Sakura said. She was sitting on Naruto's couch, filing her nails. "Only a week, can you believe that? What kind of information could he have possible given them? I hate not being in the loop."

Naruto casually sipped his hot chocolate. The hell if he knew what was up with Sasuke and the hell if he cared. He had decided to come back after all and the village was welcoming him back with open arms, he would be damned if he did the same. Sasuke could hurt him all he wanted, but Naruto was going to hold onto one thing, his pride.

"Do you think he'll want to visit us?" Sakura asked quietly, kneading her hands in her skirt. "Do you think he cares?"

"I doubt he feels anything for anyone anymore."

Deep down, he was wondering the same thing. Did Sasuke still care about him? Did he still love him? Did he want to come see him? Did Naruto want to see him, after all this time?

Naruto knew the answers to all of these questions, no, no, no, and yes. His heart throbbed in response.

"Maybe he's changed. I mean, it's likely that he doesn't care about us anymore, maybe never did. Though, maybe he's met other people. It's been three years. " Sakura bit her lip. "For Tsunade to be so confident in him...he can't be all that emotionless, can he?"

That was something Naruto had turned over in his head before, reluctantly. The thought of Sasuke caring for someone else, loving someone else, possibly even more than he ever loved the blonde, made him feel short of breath.

"Who cares." Naruto scoffed, "He's a bastard. He left us without a backward glance. He never gave a shit about us and three years doesn't change a thing. It's about time we stopped giving a shit about him as well."

Sakura sighed. "Yeah, I realize that. I don't know, it's hard. Despite everything, despite all logical reasoning, I've still kind of missed him. Crazy huh?"

Naruto knew that feeling all too well.

"Yeah, crazy..."

-0-

The village was abuzz with news about the Uchiha. The general story going around now was that the Uchiha had left the village to gain top secret information to insure the safety of the village. It was so ridiculous. If Naruto had pulled a missing act, if even for a week, the village would be at his throat demanding that he be burned at the stake. Sasuke disappears for three years and somehow comes back a hero?

Flowers were being left at his doorstep. People were loitering outside his house hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Naruto couldn't walk anywhere without someone asking him if he had talked to Sasuke yet, since they had been "friends" and all. In just three short weeks, Naruto had been reduced from a greatly admired teacher, to that guy who was friends with the Uchiha. He couldn't believe it.

A week after Sasuke's house arrest had expired, he was over at Sakura's house, who had a party to celebrate Ino's birthday. Everyone around their age had been invited. He should have known Sasuke would be there. Sakura would never pass on a chance to include Sasuke; she still seemed to have a bit of a crush on him, again. She had even dropped the tentative budding relationship with Lee at his reappearance.

Despite this knowledge, when Sasuke entered the party, Naruto felt as if he was going to pass out. He chugged the tall glass of sake he had in his hands and gripped the banister tightly. This was going to be a tough act to maintain.

Sasuke's eyes seemed to immediately search his out and when they locked onto his, Naruto had the sudden feeling that the boy knew everything he had been feeling all these years. It was very discontenting and he was thankful that Sasuke was quickly pulled away and paraded about by Sakura and Ino, who seemed eager to reintroduce him to everyone. He hastily excused himself before they could make their way over to him.

Once outside, Naruto barely walked three feet before he leaned over and retched behind a nearby bush. He spat, panting. The sake he chugged mixed with his hurricane emotions made him feel completely nauseous. He closed his eyes tightly and fought back tears. He thought he was over him, dammit. All this time he hadn't felt a thing. He had been fine with the fact that he would never see Sasuke again, that he was just gone. He liked it that way. He didn't like seeing that face again and being reminded of everything he once had, everything he once felt. Sasuke really had been somewhere else for three years, not caring about Naruto. He could no longer pretend that he had just vanished and that was that.

After he had taken several deep breaths and regained his composure, he wondered if he should head back inside to the party. He wasn't positive that once he saw that face again that it all wouldn't all come crashing back, but he knew it would look even more suspicious if he just booked it after Sasuke made an appearance. He really didn't want any more attention than he already had.

Steeling himself, he slipped back in.

"Naruto! There you are!" Sakura yelled, waving him over. Naruto cringed, how had she spotted him so fast? Fuck it all. Sasuke was standing next to her impassively, studying him.

He made his way over to her slowly, as if he was walking to his death.

"Hey." He said casually, he put his hands in his pockets and looked away for good measure. That's it Naruto, keep it casual.

"Sasuke, you remember Naruto, of course? He's not as dorky looking as he used to be." She laughed lightly and gestured to him.

Naruto held back the childish urge to stick out his tongue at her, instead, he waited with bated breath as Sasuke seemed to ponder this at length.

"Hn." He said finally.

Naruto became more determined than ever to not show any reaction at that point. That's the only response he got? A year long relationship and all he got was a 'hn?'

"Well, hn to you too, you bastard."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. Sasuke smirked almost imperceptibly. Sakura hit Naruto on his arm.

"Naruto! Don't be so mean."

"Ow! What the hell. It's not my fault he's a bast-ow! Sakura! Stop hitting me!" This was quickly regressing back to their times as a Genin and Naruto flushed in embarrassment. He probably looked so stupid right now, so much for playing it cool.

"Nice to see you again, Naruto. It's been awhile."

Sakura and Naruto both froze at his sudden words. Sakura clapped her hands.

"That's the most he's said all night!" She beamed, as if she had been the one to coax it out of him. Sasuke was staring fixedly at Naruto, who was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

"Big deal." Naruto said, looking away from Sasuke and crossing his arms. The man's gaze was really unsettling. "Where's the rest of the sake?"

"Naruto, you've already had three bottles! Don't think I didn't notice who's been swiping all of the sake!"

"I didn't swipe it, it's for the guests, me included!" Naruto kept the conversation going, eager for anything to talk about other than the ominous figure standing calmly between them.

Sasuke chuckled. The sound startled Naruto and Sakura out of their brief argument. After a slight pause, Sakura chuckled as well, "Sorry, three minutes back and we're already acting like kids again. Those were such good times, back then. I wish it was still like that."

"Me too." Sasuke said, looking straight at Naruto. Naruto flushed. Dammit, was Sasuke fucking with him? Hadn't he screwed him over enough already for one lifetime?

"Things were so perfect." Sakura sighed wistfully, taking a sip of her sake.

"It was perfect." Sasuke said softly. Naruto shifted uneasily from foot to foot, suddenly unable to maintain any sort of eye contact with the Uchiha. He suddenly felt like he was burning up, he felt like a fire was building in the pit of his stomach and exploding outwards, and he didn't think it was all due to the alcohol. He wasn't sure if the Uchiha was referring to their relationship, but it sure seemed that way. Why else was he staring at him like that? To make him uncomfortable? Well, Naruto was going to be damned if he was going to let Sasuke have that effect on him.

"Well, I think it was a shitty time in my life." Naruto loudly declared. "I like it much better now. Or at least, I did until a few weeks ago."

"Naruto! What the hell!" Sakura's eyes widened. She smiled sheepishly at Sasuke as she hastily grabbed the blonde's arm and tugged him away to a corner, out of hearing distance of Sasuke. "What is wrong with you? Why are you being so mean?" She whispered angrily, tugging on his arm harshly.

"He's a jerk Sakura. Plus, we don't even know what he's up to! He abandoned us and magically coming back doesn't change anything!"

"Naruto, stop being so immature! Tsunade says he's alright and even though we don't know the details, I trust her judgment! Now stop! This old rivalry thing is long over, Naruto. Grow up! He was being perfectly cordial to you."

"He was taunting me!" Naruto let out, before he could stop himself.

"How exactly?" Sakura whispered harshly.

"With...with all that...uhm..." Words failed him, he couldn't think of a good explanation. "He just was."

"Naruto. Please, you're being ridiculous. He's not the same person he was before."

Naruto smiled bitterly. That's the problem.

"You're going back over there and you're going to apologize. Without me forcing you."

"Sakura..."

"Naruto, please do this, for me." Her emerald eyes softened. "Please."

He melted instantly and she knew it. "Okay."

He took a deep breath and looked across the room at Sasuke, who was standing there stiffly. He did look kind of miserable. Naruto almost felt bad for him...almost. He walked over as casually as he could manage. He was more than a little bit tipsy and nearly ran right into Shikamaru, who merely arched his eyebrows at his sloppy state.

He stood directly in front of Sasuke, who seemed tense. Good, Naruto was glad this situation had some kind of affect on the stoic boy.

"Listen. I'm...sorry for calling you a bastard." Naruto said hurriedly, looking resolutely somewhere past Sasuke's shoulder. "Sakura's right, I'm too old for name calling. I'm not usually like this. You just..." He swallowed tightly. "You never fail to...get under my skin, I guess."

Naruto finally looked down at the ebony eyes, which were staring back at him with some unreadable expression. There was no answer.

"I just don't get you, Sasuke..." He said, whispering now. "The way you just left...like...fuck. What was that all about, huh?" Naruto was quickly realizing that drinking wasn't the best idea. He didn't mean to lose control like this, but it felt too good to stop. He wanted to get it out. All the unanswered questions from the last three years came pouring out of him. "Couldn't tell me to my face? Didn't have the guts? Or just didn't give a shit enough? Which is it, Uchiha?"

Sasuke looked deeply pained. Good, Naruto was glad. "Naruto...I..."

"Tell me Sasuke, how could you leave me like everyone else...?" H

"I'm back!" Sakura chirped as she came up and put her arms around him and Sasuke. She glanced back and forth between them, lips pursing at the palpable tension in the air. "Uh...guys? Is everything okay? Don't tell me you're still arguing?"

Naruto smiled brightly, masking any sign of emotion that was just displayed clearly across his face. "Nah, Sakura, we're just peachy now. I gotta go though, I have to get up early and train my team."

"It's Sunday tomorrow, Naruto...and it's only ten! Come on, everyone's having a blast. You can't bail on me now." Naruto was already walking away. "Naruto! Really?"

"See you later, Sakura-chan!" He yelled teasingly, exiting her house. Once outside, his smile dropped and his solemn face took back over. This was going to be way harder than he thought.

-0-

The next week passed in a haze. Naruto was completely out of sorts. He barely slept at night, his mind was constantly racing. He skipped two more of his Genin training practices, too exhausted muster the strength to pull himself out of bed. It was only a matter of time before someone noticed.

Today, he laid in bed with the blanket tugged all the way up to his chin, staring at the ceiling blankly.

"Yo, Naruto!" A voice carried from the door. Naruto shot up in bed, nearly tumbling off of it as his legs tangled in the blanket. "I'm dropping by for a visit."

Kakashi waited another moment before he came inside. Naruto groaned to himself as he pulled on his shirt. If Kakashi was paying him a visit, it couldn't be good. The silver haired man stepped into the door of the bedroom. Naruto scrambled to his feet and innocently smiled.

"Naruto? Are you alright? Yori asked Iruka to come check on you, who then asked me. He said you've been missing a lot of practice this week." The blonde inwardly cursed Yori, but was flattered the young boy cared enough to ask someone to check on him, even if it was only because he wanted to train.

"Oh, yeah...I haven't been feeling well. This weather, you know, the sudden change from warm to cold." He sniffled loudly for extra measure. Kakashi looked disbelieving. He leaned in closer.

"That's strange, because I thought the Kyuubi prevented you from getting sick."

"Well...don't ask me how, but I'm sick! Geeze!" He said lamely.

Kakashi shrugged. "Well, whatever you're sick with, get over it. You have duties now, Naruto."

The blonde felt guilty. His team always looked forward to training, but he hadn't stopped to consider them at all.

"Fine, I won't skip anymore practices." He grumbled.

"Good!" Kakashi beamed from behind his mask. "Now I can do better things!" He vanished with a pop, before Naruto could demand to know what was more important than checking in on his favorite ex-student.

"Stupid Kakashi, interrupting my moping." He muttered to himself, flopping back on his bed. Despite his complaints, the visit had cheered him up a little. It reminded him that there were things in his life that didn't get upturned just because Sasuke was back.

-0-

Later on that night, Naruto was tired of being cooped up in his house. He was never one to stay home for anything, even moping, and decided to go on a walk. This walk eventually led him to the same place it generally did, a familiar clearing.

Naruto heard loud footsteps in the distance and turned in that direction. It couldn't be an enemy ninja, it was way too loud. He arched an eyebrow as none other than Inuzuka Kenji barged into the clearing.

"Sensei!" Kenji yelled, he stopped in front of Naruto and panted. "You jerk. Teach me Sexy no Jutsu!"

This little boy was a cousin of Kiba. He shared the same black hair, though his was silky and down to his shoulders, instead of spiky like his elder cousin's. They both had the same markings on the cheek, a tell-tale sign of the Inuzuka clan.

"How did you find me?" Naruto asked, glancing around. The woods were totally empty. He was deep in the woods, where he and Sasuke used to meet up. He often came here to think, particularly when he was feeling sad. The place was filled with so many warm memories, it was comforting, in a bittersweet way. He had always kind of hoped in the bottom of his heart that he would run into Sasuke here, doing the same thing he was doing, rehashing old memories. Now that it was a little bit likely, Naruto wasn't sure how he felt about it anymore.

"Akai led me here!" He pointed down at the small dog, which was wagging his tail happily. "I let him smell this packet of ramen and then he led me right to you!"

Naruto's eye twitched. He really hoped he didn't actually smell like ramen. He just barely refrained from sniffing himself.

"Okay, okay. I applaud your skills. So therefore I will teach you...later."

"No! Sensei! You've been telling me later every single day, I'm not going to let you away with it this time. I know you think I'm too young to know something like this and you think my mom will get mad at you, but I promise I'll keep it a secret! I gotta get into that bath house! You don't understand my needs!" With this declaration, he fell to his knees and clasped his hands, looking up at him pleadingly.

"Oh wow, okay. Uhm, wow." Naruto scratched his head, really not sure how to get out of this one. He had a mini Jiraiya on his hands. "Tomorrow morning, I promise. It's really late right now and you need to get some sleep! This is a tough skill to master and it will take a lot of energy, you can't learn it while you're tired."

"Awww, do you promise?"

"I promise this time, and you know I never back out on my word!" Naruto smiled cheekily.

"Tch, yeah right, you do it all the time!" Kenji stuck out his tongue at him. "I'm holding it to you this time. If you don't, I'm going to Iruka-sensei and telling him you're skipping out on our practices!"

Naruto grimaced, imagining an unpleasant visit from Iruka. That man could be really scary when he wanted to be.

"Okay, okay, sheesh."

Kenji eyed him threateningly as he backed out of the forest and ran, Akai following on his heels.

Naruto chuckled to himself. That kid really was something, if he had nothing else, at least he had his team.

A sudden cracking of leaves made Naruto tense up. He cursed himself for not noticing there was someone nearby earlier, he was unused to being on guard, it had been so long since he had last been on a mission. He was about to leap away when he heard a familiar voice.

"Naruto." Silky and perfectly casual, Uchiha Sasuke strolled into the clearing, looking not too much different than he did three years ago. This time he was wearing a loose, unbuttoned white shirt with dark pants. They were tied loosely at the waist with a pale purple silk ribbon.

Naruto felt his legs turn to jelly. His whole body tingled and raw heat surged through his body while his heart pounded brutally against his chest. He betrayed none of this. He lifted his chin defiantly.

"Sasuke." He said. He crossed his arms to hide his shaking hands.

"For being my best friend, you've been the least welcoming person so far."

Naruto couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. "Don't expect a warm welcome from me, Uchiha. Our days of...friendship are long over."

"They aren't over for me."

Naruto felt his pulse racing.

"It's been three years, in case you haven't noticed. I've grown up. I'm not the same idiotic kid in love that I once was. You left him behind."

"Naruto..." There was so much emotion in Sasuke's eyes that Naruto couldn't bear to keep the gaze, he looked away. "Naruto. I...I know you don't want to forgive me. I don't expect you to, but I don't want you to hate me. I don't want your memories of me, past and future, to be tainted. So, I want to tell you why I did what I did. I want to tell you everything. You deserve to know."

Naruto looked back up into the deep, dark eyes. They were swirling with pain, so much pain that he couldn't refuse him. He let out a shuddering breath and nodded.

"The Akatsuki had been acting up lately. The attacks were more frequent and more violent than ever. We had no suitable defense against them and they were frightened, Tsunade and the elders. They didn't know what to do. Then they came up with an idea.

"They wanted me to go on a mission, long term. They wanted me to infiltrate their ranks and send information back. No one could know about this. I had to be declared a missing nin, because if word got back to Akatsuki that I was on a long term mission, it would ruin everything. They had to believe that I really came to them of my own accord.

"I wanted to do it because I thought I could get my chance to kill Itachi, but I still wasn't sure. There was one thing holding me back, Naruto, and that was you. Itachi wasn't worth ruining the one good thing in my life I had left, he had ruined everything else already.

"But Tsunade pleaded with me, and then she let something slip. She didn't realize it, but that was what changed my mind. Akatsuki, they weren't after the village particularly, they were after you. They wanted the demon inside of you."

Sasuke took a deep breath. "It was then I knew what I had to do. Akatsuki was powerful, if they wanted you, they would get you. With no inside information we would be caught totally blindsided and they would succeed. I took a few days to think it over. I imagined them torturing you and then killing you. I barely slept. I knew if I went on this spy mission there was a very good chance I wouldn't come out of it alive. Even if I managed to survive, I could never leave the organization without them killing me. But, if it wasn't me, it would be you, and that far worse.

"So I told Tsunade I would take the mission. I left just a week later. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. I knew you wouldn't let me go and also I didn't want you to hold on to me after I left. I wanted you to move on because I honestly never thought I would return.

"It didn't take long for Akatsuki to find me and recruit me. I infiltrated the ranks of the Akatsuki. This would have been nearly impossible for anyone else, but since I was Itachi's brother, I was welcomed. That's probably why Tsunade and the elders picked me for the job. I spied on them for years after that, every dangerous move, particularly towards Konoha, I reported back to Tsunade. We communicated back and forth through carrier pigeons. If it wasn't for me, they would have definitely killed you by now. Every attempt to attack you was thoroughly foiled, thanks to my information.

"But then, I was found out. I knew it was only a matter of time and had expected this. I was fully prepared to die, my only regret was that I would no longer be able to give information that would protect you. But they never got the chance to get to me, Itachi…he…" Sasuke clenched his fists and looked downward. "I hated him, I hated him for so long for what he did. I wanted to kill him, I honestly did, but he…he saved me."

"When they tried to kill me, he slaughtered them all. He saved my life. Kami, it was so surreal. There he was, standing calmly in the middle of all these bloody bodies, just like years ago.

"Then he tells me he knows I'm on a mission for Konoha, has known from the beginning, and he knows this because he is as well. He's a spy too. I asked him why Konoha would trust someone who massacred his entire clan in cold blood.

"You know what he says, Naruto? He told me that he did it as a mission from Konoha. The elders and the Hokage decided our clan was a threat. They wanted us wiped out. I didn't want to believe that, but it all clicked. How the Hokage sometimes knew details that I never told her, how Itachi had known where to find me to recruit me, it just fit.

"He asked me if I wanted to kill him and stood there and smiled at me, taunting me. He opened his shirt and bared his chest at me. He told me to kill him. He told me he wanted me to kill him."

Sasuke took a shaky breath and seemed hesitant to continue. "I couldn't kill him. I tried, but every time I gathered chakra it just fizzled out, I couldn't do it like this. This was too easy, it wasn't satisfying.

"He laughed at me and told me I was still so weak. He told me I still had so much to learn and that I would regret not killing him. Then he knocked me out.

"When I woke up, I was in the Hokage's office. I guess Itachi brought me there, but he was gone when I woke up. He apparently told them that we killed them all because they were making a move to strike Konoha. Tsunade seemed particularly relieved; I guess it was a huge burden off of her shoulders. She and the elders promised me that I would be welcomed back with open arms since I had given up so much for the mission. The whole time I felt so angry, these were the same people that ordered the massacre of my entire clan. I wanted to tear them apart, honestly.

"But then I thought of you and realized I would never be able to see you again if I did that. So, I chose to stay. I'm sorry, Naruto, honestly…I never meant to cause you so much pain, but it seems like in my quest to protect you I ended up doing the exact opposite." Sasuke finished forlornly.

"Kami, Sasuke. You should have come to me about it, you could have told me that they were after me and we could've fought them together! You didn't have to leave me; you didn't have to be sent to your death. It wasn't noble, it was just naïve!

"Three years of your life Sasuke! You accomplished nothing. You were on some misguided mission to…protect me? I don't need protection Sasuke. I have a fucking demon inside of me!" Naruto fumed.

"Naruto, you don't think I know that? They had ways! I saw them take down other demon hosts effortlessly. They were cruel and efficient; it's only by a great deal of luck that I kept them away from you. Why can't you understand? I did this for you, Naruto!"

"When are you going to learn that you can't do everything alone? When are you going to learn to depend on other people? There are more people than just you in the world. There are other people that can help you if you would just open your god damned eyes!

"Fuck, Sasuke. You tore my heart to pieces. I was so depressed, I couldn't even fucking eat. I couldn't sleep. All I could do was lay awake and think about what I did wrong and why I wasn't worthy! I would almost have rather died!"

Sasuke marched up to him, narrowing his eyes. "I should have known you would be completely unreasonable, you're just as thick headed as always."

"Fuck you, Sasuke." Naruto snarled, pushing against his chest. "You don't know anything about me anymore."

"I know enough to see that you're pretending in front of everyone. I know you well enough to see that you're fucking miserable and pushing me away isn't going to make you feel better!"

Naruto was so angry he was shaking. He didn't know how things had crumbled so quickly. He had so many pent up emotions demanding some kind of release. All the feelings he had been masking were cascading out of him like a dam cracking. He growled and flung a punch at Sasuke's face, who easily dodged. This made Naruto even angrier and he delivered a volley of kicks and punches, all of which missed. He didn't even manage to get one hit in.

"Fuck!" Naruto finally shouted. He was already a little out of breath.

"Come on Naruto, is that all you got? I let you hurt all of those years. I probably even made you cry too, huh? You were always such a bab-" A lightning fast punch knocked him backwards and slammed him into a tree. Sasuke grunted and quickly regained his composure. Blood slid down his face from the new wound on his lip.

Sasuke stood up and raced towards him. When he encountered Naruto, there was a furry of arms and legs, flesh pounding against flesh, hard enough to leave bruises for the morning. Naruto suddenly felt very alive. He felt release, like he hadn't in so long. He let go completely, losing himself in this violent, bloody dance. Sasuke threw his fist towards Naruto's jaw, Naruto bent backwards and twisted, grabbing onto him and throwing him to the ground.

Sasuke didn't even pause, as if it was scripted to begin with. He did a smooth roll and came to his feet again before charging forward. He acted as if he was going to attempt to punch him head on again, then jumped into the air, flipped, and twisted and landed in a crouch. Before Naruto could figure turn around, Sasuke had swiped his foot under him and knocked him off of his feet.

Naruto landed flat on his back ungracefully. The dark haired boy leaned over him from the side and pinned down his arms. He then swung a leg over and sat on the blonde's stomach. He leaned forward, his dark hair falling forward like a velvety curtain and tickling Naruto's face. A drop of blood from Sasuke's busted lip fell onto Naruto's lip.

"Feel better?" Sasuke whispered softly.

Naruto flushed, he was unaccustomed to such close contact. It had been so long. He felt heat erupting inside of him, starting from his heart and melting downwards. After all this time, Sasuke still caused a reaction that no one else could.

"You're blushing." Sasuke mused, a semblance of a smile playing on his lips. He moved even closer, until Naruto could feel his warm breath on his lips. Naruto licked his lips nervously, tasting Sasuke's blood that had started to dry there.

Sasuke kissed him, cautiously and gently, as if asking for permission. Naruto responded by opening his mouth wider and pressing his mouth firmly back. He could taste blood and wasn't sure if it was Sasuke's or his own, neither would surprise him. Their tongues roamed over each other, exploring the achingly familiar territory. Sasuke moved his hands from Naruto's arms and held the sides of his head, pressing him deeper into the kiss. Naruto pulled his arms up reached around to the back of Sasuke's head in a similar manner, holding him tightly as if he could physically meld them together this way.

Minutes went by, though it felt like hours, and Sasuke finally pulled back. Both of them panted. Naruto was pleased that the other boy now looked as flushed as he did. He was sweltering in his clothes and a sheen of sweat had blanketed itself on every inch of his skin.

"Sasuke I…" He sighed deeply. "I can't do this again. I've already been hurt once, how do I know you won't leave again, just like that? You told me before that I'd never have to be alone again and you lied. I don't think I could take it a second time around."

"I'm not going anywhere this time, I promise Naruto."

"What about Itachi? He's still alive somewhere. Aren't you going to go off and get your revenge?" Naruto said scornfully, turning his face away. He was ashamed of the stinging sensation in his eyes.

"I don't give a shit anymore. Let him do his fucked up psycho act by himself. If I kept heading down that path, I would've ended up just like him, and that's not what I want. Not anymore."

"Why?" Naruto croaked, "What changed? That used to be all you cared about."

"Someone taught me how to see the light even when I'm shrouded in darkness." Sasuke whispered.

"That's deep. Whoever taught you that is a smart man."

"Idiot." Sasuke rolled off of him and laid on his back. After a moment of silence, he reached a hand down and clasped Naruto's hand gently lightly, hoping Naruto wouldn't pull away. Naruto squeezed his hand back in response.

He still didn't know if he was ready to forgive him, let alone him back into his heart, but the blonde wanted to try. They felt so right together like this, it was such a wonderful feeling to have Sasuke back by his side again. It was as if his world had been upside down for the past few years and had only just now righted itself again.

Naruto wondered if maybe he would get his happily ever after, after all.

-fin-

Author's Note: Sorry for any errors! I probably double checked this story at least five times, but I still am not too sure!

Anyways, I am thinking about making a sequel about them getting closer again, working through their trust issues, and Naruto's fear of everyone finding out about them. Would anyone be interested in reading that?