Chapter:1

Sherlock was leaving London in precisely 31 hours. He didn't bother to pack anything as Mycroft's minions would do that anyway and moreover he was a reluctant participant in this whole relocating thing. Yes, he was being relocated, to France, to his grandmother's house for God knew how long. Reason? Mycroft thought that Sherlock wouldn't be able to control his addiction once again and would fall prey to some dealer as Mycroft was temporarily leaving the country for an 'unavoidable legwork'. Bloody pompous git. So Sherlock had to live with his grandma who was going to babysit him from now on and Sherlock would soon be a suspect of a homicide or a victim of a suicide. He hadn't been able to decide which option he was about to choose, probably the later. However right now he was fiddling with his only faithful companion, his violin and cursing Mycroft very enthusiastically. He was just in the middle of a murder plan involving his brother when his phone sent a text alert with a ding. Sherlock decided to ignore it as it'd probably be Mycroft but then on a second thought Sherlock wondered if it was that DI of the Yard who, after many months of being nagged by Sherlock, promised him to invite him on cases. If that would happen then he might dodge this trip somehow. With that thought he reached for his phone quite eagerly. It was from an unknown number. His hope increased. He opened the text eagerly and instantly frowned.

"Hey Mike, got your new number from Harry. Im back for few days, wanna catch up mate? -JW"

A wrong number. Sherlock almost screamed mentally. Everything was spiraling down with his life. He hoped for a DI and got a JW instead. Hah! But he decided to inform the sender that it was a wrong number. So he sent a reply.

"You have gotten a wrong number or perhaps typed it wrongly. Anyway, this is not Mike. - SH"

Just when Sherlock was going to toss the phone away it dinged again.

"Shit. Sorry. Harry must have written it wrong. Im John by the way :) -JW"

Sherlock blinked. Is it a prank or someone did some voodoo on him to make his life miserable by every moment? He fired another reply.

"Why did you think that I would have needed to know your name? Do you deem yourself that much important or is it your usual way to waste other people's time? And to be honest it is very obvious that an idiot like you will have as common a name as John. I could have deduced it anyway. -SH"

"Whoa! Thats pretty rude mate. I didnt ask for your email password, i just told you my name out of politeness, you know. And for someone who claims to hate seeing their precious time wasted you certainly sent quite a long text. May be you just want to talk as much and just trying to play hard to get, hm? ;) -JW"

Sherlock was appalled! Was this really happening? He was eager to talk to some idiot? He was playing coy? He? Sherlock Holmes? Now it was a matter of self respect and Sherlock never shied away from a battle, ever.

"Your attempt at being droll is not only poor but it is pathetic. But it is completely expected from you. But if you want to keep your remaining dignity intact I advise you to stop imagining people's interests in you and vent your sexual frustration in some other ways which do not require appalling other people. And I hope that you at least know that you cannot end a sentence with a colon or a semi-colon and a bracket. You are not that daft, are you? -SH"

Sherlock was satisfied now. He was sure that his words would at last make that idiot to stop pestering him. It worked other times with other idiots. But it seemed that his misery was never-ending that day. Another text came making Sherlock irritated beyond limit. He usually preferred to text but he was beginning to hate that damned ding ding.

"An idiot like me? What do you know about me? Deduce me then. And you are kidding right? You surely know about emot-icons, right Mr. Know-it-all? :p -JW"

Sherlock was too deep to stop now.

"Oh I know more about you than you can imagine. You live outside London, you are in your early twenties, lonely, friendless, sexually starved, has a family member, probably a brother who is as daft as you or an addict. -SH"

There was a long pause after he sent the text and his smirked at his victory to shut this 'John' up finally, though he could have said some more things but he was satisfied anyway. So when the phone chirped once again he was mildly surprised but he knew what this text would contain: a string of profanities. He opened the text gingerly.

"Are you a friend of Stamford? Do you know me? How the hell did you know all those? It is a prank or something? –JW"

Sherlock huffed, though he was surprised that John was still acting so polite.

"I don't know Stamford or any -ford (except cars). I don't have friends. And I certainly do not waste my time playing tricks with strangers. I just deduced about you. –SH"

"That was brilliant! Absolutely brilliant mate! Although i must protest about that 'sexually starved' and 'friendless' bit; my sexual life is quite active and i have sufficient number of friends, thankyouverymuch. But will you tell me how did you 'deduce'? I mean we are just exchanging texts -JW"

Sherlock blinked and blinked and then forgot to blink. Brilliant? John called him brilliant? Even after Sherlock intentionally insulted him? This never happened before in his entire life and his brain was refusing to register this new information.

"You really think so? That's not what people usually say. And I narrowed down your age by your enthusiasm to text back a complete stranger and also from your lack of proper punctuation and capitalization. You said in your first text that you have come home for few days so obviously you live outside of London otherwise you would have been able to visit more often. You are sending text to a friend whose number you have got from another person so it is clear that you are not in touch but then also you are contacting him because you are unable to find any other friend at this time of the year. Conclusion: friendless This Harry you mentioned is not your friend as he 'wrote' Stamford's number. If he were a friend of Stamford they two would probably have each other's number already and if he were a friend of yours not Stamford's then Stamford would have taken your number instead of leaving his own. So Harry is probably a near family. Now, this Harry wrote the number instead of adding the contact in his phone instantly which concludes that he was too disoriented to use a mobile phone or small keypad. There is also a possibility that he doesn't know how to operate the device but in that case he should have wrote the number correctly which he clearly did not. Hence the conclusion is an addict. I can also tell that the place where you work does not allow personal phones and judging by that information you are probably in the army. –SH"

By the end of the longest text Sherlock had ever sent he was very feeling very smug. He didn't get praised for his deduction, ever, so John's flattering words actually pumped up his confidence and he did his best to show off his talent through the text.

"OH MY GOD! You are a genius, aren't you? A bloody extraordinary genius! You were spot on except for a few things. Wow! I can't believe you got all those things just from my texts! You are Brilliant SH. But what do you mean you don't have friends? Everybody has them. And what do other people say about your deduction?. :D –JW"

'Not a complete idiot then as he can appreciate my deductions. May be I can grant him some of my time after all.' Muttered Sherlock and began to write a reply.

"I can't be sure about the 'bloody' part but yes, I am a genius, quite extraordinary too. And I prefer myself to be alone. Alone protects me. 'Piss off'- that is what people usually say about my deductions. – SH"

Quickly Sherlock sent another text,

"Which things did I miss? –SH"

Another long pause. Then, ding.

"That sounds like a Vulcan quotation!Well, You are wrong Mr. Spock, friends protect people. And you are also an arrogant git, aren't you? :p – JW"

Sherlock narrowed his eyes at the mention of Vulcan and Spock, the names sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn't remember anything, might have deleted then. But he actually smirked reading the last portion.

"S stands for Sherlock, not Spock. Sherlock Holmes. And what is a Vulcan quote? Now tell me the missed points. –SH"

"John Watson, at your service, My Lord. But you seriously don't know what Vulcan is? I mean, really? What are you, 95? :p –JW"

Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"Tell me what did I miss, NOW. –SH"

"Hah! Quite a patient man, aren't you? ;) Well, I'm nearing my mid twenties, not early; I'm not lonely or sex hungry, I remind you again; Harry is short for Harriet, she is my sister.

'A sister?! Urgh.. there always something, always', groaned Sherlock. Another text came.

"Tell me something about you. – JW"

"Why? –SH"

"Well, you know so many things about me; it's only fair that I know something about you too. –JW"

"I deduced about you, you didn't tell me anything. –SH"

"Are you tempting me to deduce about you, Mr. Holmes? :p –JW"

"Hah! As if you can. And seriously, what is with this colon and small p you seem to insert at the end of every text? What is it? –SH"

"It's a smiley face Grandpa :p ! ":" is eyes and "p" is tongue. :p :p :p and I CAN deduce you, you know. –JW"

"Dull. Pray tell what you have deduced about me? –SH"

"You are a genius, an arrogant, impatient brilliant one. You can actually be 95 but I am having this feeling that you might be a lot younger than that. You are funny, interesting and absolutely smitten with my charms :p ;) –JW"

"Your sense of humour is appalling, John. –SH"

"Yes, I like you, too ;) –JW"

Sherlock huffed with fake irritation and tossed the phone on the couch. Though he would never admit it but the past few hours which he spent texting John were somewhat interesting, he wasn't bored at least. Sherlock stood in front of the window and stared. It was getting dark outside. Yet another white Christmas in London. He still felt bitter about leaving his beloved city, especially at this time of the year but talking with John made him feel a little better which was surprising. He took up his violin, his only companion who never disappointed him.

~0~0~0~

The next text came when Sherlock was deciding whether to sleep that night or skip it.

"Hey, what's up? –JW"

Sherlock replied quite quickly.

"Why should anything be up? –SH"

"I don't know, it's just an opening line. –JW"

"And why do you need an opening line? –SH"

"I wanted to talk to you. And you see I am punctuating my sentences properly now :D –JW"

"Why? –SH"

"Because you told me so, I mean you called me stupid for not doing so.-JW"

"Why did you want to talk to me? –SH"

"Because you are interesting, because I like talking to you. –JW"

"I have only insulted you so far, I was rude to you. There is no reason for you to keep talking to me. –SH"

"Yeah, you did but I don't mind. A great brain like yours should at least deserve some liberties from normal social niceties. And everything you said was true so there was nothing to get offended. I enjoyed those deductions. You are quite funny too. –JW"

Sherlock's stomach felt funny. He should have eaten something but he wasn't entirely sure it was the lack of food that caused it.

"Social niceties not really my area. –SH"

"What's your area then? –JW"

"Science, experiments, deductions, solving crimes and violin. –SH"

"Wow! You are a charmer, Sherlock! But solving crimes? Are you with the police then? What kind of experiment do you conduct? –JW"

"I do not work with the police and never wish to. They think I am too young to outsmart them. Idiots. I solve crimes using my own methods and observations. I want to be a Consulting Detective, only one in the world. I like Chemistry. Currently I am experimenting about some tobacco ashes. –SH"

"That's good, that's really good. So, you are not really a grandpa then, huh? See, I can deduce too ;) How old are you anyway? What is a Consulting Detective? I've never heard of it before. And tobacco ash? Really? What's so special about them? I myself was a student of science but I liked biology better. –JW"

"You never heard of it because I invented the job. When the Yard will fail to solve a crime, which they do almost always, they will consult me. There are many interesting things regarding ashes, not that I expect you to understand, but if you are smart enough to broaden your mental faculty a bit then you can read about them on my website. I will upload the results once the experiment is concluded. –SH"

"Then technically you will be working with the police. I would love to enlighten myself with tobacco ashes, Mr. Holmes, send me the link please. -JW"

Sherlock ignored the second part and answered the first.

"[Link attached]

Well, if you think that way then yes, technically but I will be on my own, I will use only my own methods. –SH"

"Whatever you do you will be great, Sherlock. I'm sure of it. –JW"

John Watson was proving to be an exception to all the notions Sherlock had about people. He was actually impressed by this stranger and now the way John showed his confidence over Sherlock's ability, no matter how stupid it was, made Sherlock happy and a little bit shy.

"Thank you, John. You said you liked biology then why didn't you pursue it? –SH"

"I did pursue it. I'm an Army doctor. I enlisted, completed my degree and got deployed. –JW"

"Afghanistan or Iraq? –SH"

"Afghanistan. –JW"

"I will be 21 in January. –SH"

"Definitely not a grandpa then :D Thanks for telling me, Sherlock. It was really nice talking to you. –JW"

"I enjoyed it as well. Good night, John. –SH"

"Good night, Sherlock –JW"

Sherlock saved John's number as Strange John.

~0~0~0~