Title: One Day
Summary: Merlin struggles with the promise of One Day, and dealing with the aftermath of Uther's death. Set sometime in the future past 4x03.
Warnings/Spoilers: Up to 4x03. No beta. Mentions of Character Death (minor)
Word Count: 1k
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or this series would be going completely different!
A/N: I must say I'm in an angst mood. Normally they're hard on Merlin, but these past few episodes have been a lot and forced this fic out of me. Also I have no idea of Gwen's status but I felt this fit. If they can have a talking dragon, I can create nobles.
Merlin reentered the hall with a new jug of wine and took in the scene before him. To his right, the knights were gathered in all the chainmail and finery, laughing and recounting their adventure on their latest patrol. Gwaine in particular was gesturing grandly and had the other knights doubled over in laughter.
To his left Merlin saw many of the nobles eating and gossiping away with each, smiles all around.
At the front table Arthur sat upon his throne, his crown shinning with the light from the sun, making an almost ethereal effect around him. He was currently talking to the man on his right, Lord Agravaine his uncle. Agravaine, in his full black ensemble, had been constantly at Arthur's side giving out most sought after advice to the fledgling King.
To Arthur's left sat, looking a bit out of place, Lady Guinevere (having reached Lady status after Elyan was knighted and Arthur King). She was talking to one of the other noble woman to her side. Guinevere was dressed in an extravagant gown of purple satin that accentuated her curves, her curly dark hair done in a fancy bun with tendrils hanging down the side of her face.
Merlin just stood at the front of the hall, frozen. This was exactly how Arthur's court would be in the future, the difference being Guinevere would be wearing her own crown and more elaborate dress. She would be at Arthur's side as his queen and love, the knights as Arthur's men and protectors, and Agravaine as Arthur's advisor and mentor.
Quickly Merlin turned to the closet servant and shoved the full jug at him to hold. At this point in the evening everyone would be deep in their cups and wouldn't notice him missing.
Striding swiftly, Merlin made his way out of the palace and into the lower town. Keeping his head down, he picked up his pace through the street. The lower town was alive with happiness and children's laughter, as the all reveled in Arthur's reign, and seemed to catch the merriment in the palace.
Merlin made his way out and into the Forest of Ascetir and without realizing, was full out running. He focused only on his breathing and the thump thump of his feet hitting the ground.
Out of breath he made it to the Ridge of Ascetir, and he turned around and could see the flags bellowing from atop the castle of Camelot, lit aglow by the dying sun.
It all started here. Here is where he looked upon Camelot for the first time, a naïve peasent boy with a secret gift, ready to start fresh in this new and exciting place. The possibilities had been endless, and all his dreams possible.
Merlin wishes that he could go back in time and tell that boy to return home and convince his mother his place was in Ealdor. By the gods Merlin wished he could!
So much pain had entered his life once he left that ridge. The constant threat of execution loomed, as was shown the second he stepped foot into Camelot. Then he became the prince's manservant.
Merlin will never regret saving Arthur's life.
Never.
However, he does wish that it had been someone else who was "destined for great things". This "destiny" of his costing him his childhood best friend, a potential love of his life, his father, and now finally a close, dear friend. He lost all of that and more for the honor of being Arthur's dogsbody and verbal and physical punching bag, with the most rare acknowledge of being something less than a fool and more like a friend. Truly that acknowledge is all too rare.
And this he does in a the hope of one day Arthur will see him for who he truly is and respect him instead of thinking he's the byproduct of "evil magic". His only solace had been the promise of one day.
Everyone in that banquet hall had their roles, and after this latest fiasco with Morgana and the death of Uther, Arthur has hardened his heart against magic probably forever. And so now Merlin's tole will always be the stupid, clumsy, incompetent SERVANT.
Merlin was tired. He was so very tired of not even garnering the most simple of respect, let alone recognized for all his hard work. He fears that he will forever be picking up Arthur's clothes, instead of owning more than the rags he possess, and serving wine to the King and knights instead of dining with them.
The thought of this always being his life, hurt. It hurt more than he could bear. Merlin was not meant to be a servant, and for all that he's improved from all those years ago he still wasn't fit for it. Not really.
Knees crashing to ground, Merlin looked out upon Camelot with deaden eyes. Arthur would make a great king, but Merlin has almost single handedly insured that Arthur will never bring back magic to the land. His heart clenched at the thought of forever living a lie, and hiding who he truly is because if he were to tell Arthur, he would lose him forever. Maybe Arthur would spare his life, but he would, at best, be banished, and the bond between them broken for good.
Merlin turned from Camelot's turrets to look out over the forest and the world beyond. His talents would be appreciated, even marveled and praised, elsewhere. He could live in a life of luxury and be of importance to others, use his gifts to help those who truly need it.
Merlin let himself get lost in this fantasy for a while, and only once the moon was high in the sky, did he turn back and began his journey back to Camelot.
Merlin knows that no matter how lonely and dejected he gets that he will never abandon Arthur. Even though he's aware that Arthur would hate him if he learned who Merlin actually was, he still continues back.
This is his life. His role is Arthur's silent guardian. Though Merlin feels he will endlessly remain in the shadows, his treacherous heart will always believe and hope for one day.
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