Here is that tear jerker I promised, sad but sweet ending. Not as good as I wanted it to turn out, but decided to post it anyways.
Summary: Sometimes there is only one thing that your holding onto, and once you lose that you just have to let go.
Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch nor its characters.
Spoilers: General knowledge up to and including the 6th season.
Let Go
I'm not awake, but at the same time I am. All I see is blackness, but I commonly hear voices echoing around me. Voices of my mother, Faith, Sully, Davis and more still. They speak as if I am awake, even though they know I can't say anything back.
I know everything that has been going on in the past two months. Sounds kind of odd doesn't it? Considering that I'm lying in a hospital bed in a coma. Funny, it seems that people can talk a lot better when they know the other person can't respond to them and can only listen.
Like I said, I know practically everything that has been happening. I know that my ma and Sullivan have gotten very close. Since I'm unable to see them or speak, my other senses seemed to have heightened considerably, maybe it's true that blind people have a higher sense of hearing and smell…I've never really thought about it before. Anyways, back to my ma and Sully. I can feel the connection growing between the two of them every time they are in the room…together or alone. They speak softly together, and when they visit me individually, they often talk to me about the other.
My suspicions about how close they were getting was confirmed when Sully came to me a couple of days ago…
"Hey Bosco…I know we don't really get along sometimes…and I won't be surprised if you suddenly wake up and strangle me after I say this but…I think I'm feeling something towards your mother, something that I don't feel with any other woman."
Since I had already figured this out, I wasn't shocked. I'm not really mad either, a little freaked out maybe but I'm not going to kill the man. I know Sul can take care of my mom and treat her right…god knows she needs someone to show her the happiness she hasn't been able to see in years.
You know, being in a coma is kind of like being in a soap opera. People come and tell me their fears and confessions. Sasha Monroe told me about her secret, something I and only I knew, and it killed me when Davis came in and told me how great she was, I wasn't able to tell anyone what she really was.
Then there is Faith. When she comes and visits me it's the highlight of my day. She told me about what happened with Mann…what she did for me, she told me about how she was promoted to a detective, about how Cruz had been arrested for a couple of days…and about the divorce she and Fred had. The bastard cheated on her and won custody of the kids…they moved to Florida. I wanted so badly to wake up, look her in the eyes and tell her that everything would be okay. I couldn't though, all I was able to do was lay there and listen as she sobbed on my chest.
So much has changed, in so little time.
I sometimes just want to let go. I'm so tired, tired of the pain, tired of not being able to see, tired of the dark. I want to rest in peace, to go to the light and see what happens to me next, I've never been the wait around type of guy. The only thing that keeps me here is knowing that I can't leave Faith. My mom has Sully now, but Faith is totally and completely alone. I didn't take four bullets for her so that I could die and she could live a lonely and miserable life.
I couldn't let myself leave her like that.
When all my visitors are gone and the doctors and nurses come into my room to do their stuff, I hear them talking in low, serious voices. I know I'm in a comatose state, I know that my chances of waking up are slim, and that if I do I'll be scarred for life and never be able to move around on my own.
I'm better off dead, I know I am. I can't abandon Faith though, her happiness is and always will be more important than my inability to live or work on my own.
So more months pass. Its almost Christmas and I still haven't been able to open my eyes. I feel trapped. Trapped in my own mind.
My visitors have dwindled. Some still come, but most only see me once or twice a month. Ma and Sully are now officially dating, Monroe transferred to another house after everyone found out that she was the rat, Davis was angry and hurt, but he's starting to put it behind him. Cruz and Faith are getting along, seems the whole thing with Mann, me getting shot and the arrest caused them to become friendly with one another. Faith also moved out of her apartment and found a nicer one…with no sad memories.
December 23, 2004
Two days until Christmas now. Faith has been visiting very frequently, she's feeling lonely without her family with her for Christmas.
I've got a bad feeling in my stomach, it's been there all day. It's the feeling you get when something really big is going to happen, something that will change you forever. I don't know what it is, I know I'm not going to just suddenly wake up or anything, it has something to do with Faith. Call it my best friend and partner instinct.
Finally, Faith comes and visits me. I'm estimating that its about 3 in the afternoon now. Don't ask how I've been keeping track of time, I just kind of know somehow.
"Hey Bosco. I meant to come and visit you after work last night but I didn't end up leaving the house until 20 minutes ago, I was on a major lead with a murderer and rapist. I think I've finally got him at last, and I'm going after him right after I leave you today. Bos…I know this is going to sound weird considering that it is way out of the blue but I've got a bad feeling about tonight. I wanted to come and talk to you just in case I don't get another chance. I've just got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach you know? Anyway, before I get side tracked…I just wanted to come and thank-you Bos. Thank-you for saving my life, thank-you for always being there for me no matter what happened, I love you Bosco, thanks for holding on so long. I know you can hear me, and I don't want you to worry ok? Alright, I'm going to go now…Bye Bos…thanks again."
With that, Faith kissed my cheek softly and left the room silently, leaving me with that sickening feeling in my stomach for the rest of the afternoon and night.
Angela Rose Boscorelli clutched John Sullivan's hand tightly as she entered her sons hospital room. It was 3 o'clock in the morning and both adults were sporting bloodshot and tired looking eyes.
Angela sat down beside her sons bed and took his hand lightly, she was shaking uncontrollably. Sully stood behind her, his large hand gripping her shoulder for support.
"Maurice…hey sweetie. You must be surprised to find me visiting you at this time…but…well, I had to. I-I got a call from the hospital a little while ago. They woke me up and…and told me that I was the only number besides yours on her list that was local…oh god this is so hard for me to say." She spoke, a sob emitting from her throat.
"I'm so sorry baby…Faith…Faith was driving to her apartment and she hit a patch of black ice, her car flipped and hit a pole…oh god it burst into flames and she…she was killed instantly. I'm so sorry Maurice there was nothing that could be done…" Angela choked out, totally dissolving into tears.
Sully gripped her shoulder, gently squeezing it. "Maybe we should go back to your place now…" He spoke, his voice starting to constrict as his emotions began to totally overwhelm him.
"No." Angela replied firmly.
She had more to say.
"I know…I know that you've been holding on for Faith's sake Maurice….but she's not going to be here anymore…I love you so incredibly much, so much that I can't stand to see you suffer like this anymore. I know that your stuck in a place in between life and death…a dark, lonely place where you feel trapped. I…I have John so you don't have to worry about me…go to Faith and Michael. Please sweetie, don't make yourself stay in a place where you don't want to be, walk into that light and be happy forever. I'm going to miss you so much but I know its what's best…I love you Maurice…" Angela said softly, gently stroking her sons hand.
"You…you don't have to do this to yourself Angie…" Sully said gently into his girlfriends ear.
She didn't reply, and just continued to stare at her son, waiting for something to happen.
Just when it seemed nothing was going to change, Bosco's hand squeezed his moms gently. His eyes did not open, but a very small tear leaked out of his eye and dripped down past his temple.
'"I love you, please tell Michael and Faith that I love them too." Angela cried, kissing the same cheek that Faith's lips had kissed 12 hours ago. There was no stopping her shaking now, but she seemed to hardly notice. Her son's tear had spoke volumes to her.
The heart monitor by Bosco's bed started to change slowly.
"Let go baby…it's okay…you can let go now…" Angela spoke gently with a hint of encouragement, knowing that her son wanted too but was hesitating in his dark space.
The heart monitor suddenly went flat as a long, sharp beeping sound filled the room.
"Bye baby." Angela whispered, burying her head into her sons chest, her shoulders heaving as she cried softly.
Sully leaned down beside her, not knowing what he should do with himself. He had just lost two of his closer friends in a matter of an hour. He had dealt with this level of grief before though, and began to try and console Angela in anyway he could.
"Bye Bosco." He mumbled to himself silently.
I knew, I knew the moment I heard my door squeak open that something had happened to Faith. My ma didn't even have to tell me, I could picture her and Sully standing by me, staring down at the floor with sadness in their eyes. The amount of misery and grief in the room was over powering.
Faith, my Faith…was dead. Dead the day before Christmas, because of some stupid fucking piece of ice in the road. Emily and Charlie…motherless now…with only that woman Fred had married to be their mentor. Now ma is telling me I shouldn't suffer anymore…stuck in this dark place in between life and death. She says she'll be alight…to go to Faith and Mikey. I want to, I want to so badly it hurts. I want to be able to see Faith again, to hug her and tell her everything is alright…I want to see my little brother again…and tell him I love him and that I'm sorry for not being able to protect him as much as I wanted to.
I want to get out of the dark.
Emotions like I've never felt before washes over me. I don't want to leave my mom but I know that she will be alright, and I know its what I need to do. I can feel my heart beat weakening as a tear slips down my face.
"Let go baby…its ok…you can let go now…"
So I do.
"Bye ma…" I whisper as a bright light begins to make its way through the darkness.
My breath catches in my throat when I realize where the origin of the light is coming from. Faith is walking towards me, the white light surrounding her body…almost angelic like.
Soon, she is right in front of me and is holding out her hand for me to take.
"I can see you…" I whisper in disbelief, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards me into a deep, gentle hug.
"Hi Bos…" She laughs softly as the light begins to wrap around the both of us, the darkness starting to ebb away from around us.
An overwhelming discovery hits me as we continue to stand with our arms wrapped around each other.
This is the way it was supposed to turn out.
I couldn't leave this place without Faith. I needed her to get to the light…and the only way for that to happen is for her to die…and to come and rescue me from this darkness that she has always protected me against in the years we've known each other.
Faith is my light.
And light is my faith.
I'm not the type of guy who just gives up, or one who goes down easy…but like Faith said…I'm not superman, and right now I've never felt so relieved to just let go.
…end
Not as good as I wanted it to be but decided I'd let you guys read it anyway. Constructive remarks are welcome by the way.