Summary:Slash Jack/Spot One-shot(maybe) Spot is sitting on the docks of Brooklyn, thinking about Jack and what he means to him. Why did he leave? There's nothing left for Spot now. But what happens when Jack comes back?
Disclaimer: If I owned Spot or Jack I wouldn't be sitting in front of my computer right now. Alas I own nothing that you notice i.e names. But I DO own the plot as meaningless as this is. Oh, and I also own Dice.
I've never been one to hope for much. Maybe that's what makes me the way I am today. The cold leader of the Brooklyn Newsies. But there is one thing I will hope for one thing that makes me keep going in this world. That is simple, and he goes by the name of Jack Kelly. The leader of the 'hattan Newsies. Yes this boy has captured my heart. And now he left, taking it with me.
None of my boys know about Jack and myself, and I intend to keep it that way. Besides, Jack isn't comin' back, that's for certain. He left, and when he did, he took my heart with him. Off to Santa Fe, without me. He told me to stay.
And stay I did.
But what am I supposed to do now Cowboy? What am I supposed to hope for now that you're gone? Forever. It's a harsh word that slaps me in the face. Hits me full force, almost knocking me off my perch. I have nothing to remind myself of you. Only the gentle tingle of our last kiss. I close my eyes, and I can still see your face, bright eyes gleaming in the setting sun as you get on that train and leave me here.
Race is taking your place as the leader over in 'hattan, but not in my heart. Which I guess he can't. Seeing as how my heart is in New Mexico right now. With you.
"Jack." I whisper to the stars.
When I was younger I would wish on them. Then I became a Newsie, then I had no time for those childish things anymore. I grew up, and fast. Rising up from the bottom to the top. Climbing up fast after I escaped from the Refuge.
That's where I met you. We were both in the same room. Two young boy's, abandoned by the world. Forgotten by everyone. I admit I didn't like you at frist. But that's all changed now. I love you Cowboy. But I never told you that. And now I wish I could have.
I cried myself to sleep that night when you left. I hope you know that. And I hope it makes you happy. Why did you leave? You had your boys over in Manhattan. And you had me. Aren't I enough? There's nothing left for me now.
A single tear finds it's way out. And I wipe it away. That was your job you know. To make me feel better when I cry. Do you remember when I saved you from those bulls all those years ago? No. I suppose not. Well that's when we really became friends. I remember it like it was yesterday. You were always there for me, and I was there for you. Only a bridge away. I helped you out during the strike. And I would again, if I had to.
"Why did you leave Cowboy?" I voice again to the stars. They're twinkling, I remember that too, they would reflect in your eyes, making them sparkle. Especially after you opened them again from one of our more heated moments we stole in alleys. But now they just twinkle just above where I can't reach. They're mocking me. They know I can't have you anymore.
Did I have you to begin with? When you kissed Sarah in front of all the Newsies instead of kissing me, that hurt. Almost as much as when I saw you walking out of the distribution center in that new suit. You betrayed me. If Davey haden't gone up there and tryed to soak you, I'da done it myself. Nothing hurts me more than being betrayed. You know that, and yet you still did it.
And I still love you.
After everything you've done to me, I still love you. I still love you after you left me here. Alone. Left me to rot in the hell that I've created.
You tought me love, and pain. But I'd still kill for you. I hope you know that.
"Spot?" One of my Newsies says to me. I turn slightly and see Dice looking at me. "Yous ok?" I nod, and he turns and leaves me out here, heading back to the LH. He leaves me alone again with my thoughts of you. That's where they are these days. On you. Where are you? Are you happy? Do you miss me? I know I seem very selfish right now, only thinking about myself. I can't help it, that's just the way I am. You would always laugh when I said I was going to be leader of Brooklyn. Who was laughing when I was right?
The train whistles, it's heading back from where ever it came from. All my thoughts drift not to you, but to the stars again. Then, they stray back to you as I begin naming everting I love about you on them.
Your smile.
Your eyes.
Your laugh.
Your sense of loyalty.
You taught me love.
"I love you Jack." I say out loud again. As if willing you to hear it from where ever you are. I can hear you answering too. Am I going insane?
"I love you too, Spot." I hear you say. I am going insane. But I've never been sane, not really. Not since I met you. I feel someone sit down next to me, I don't bother to look this time.
"No mattah how amazing it was in Santa Fe, all the stars in the sky, there was one missing." My head snaps to my left(or is that my right?)and there you are. Maybe it's just my imagination letting me see you one last time. I blink.
You're still there. My heart begins to race.
"You." He whispers. You reach out, gently moving the hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear. You're smoking, I can smell it, so you're not just my imagination working over-time.
"Jack?" I ask, quietly. My voice sounds hoarse, a lump forming in my throat. You nod, smiling.
God I missed your smile.
I say nothing, but you close the space between us. Enveloping me in a hug. I can't breathe, but not from the hug, from the feeling. I missed this; more than anything else in this world. Well, almost anything else.
You lean foward, the space between our lips is gone. My mind goes blank, and I act out of instinct. My hands finding their own way into your hair, raking my fingers through you brown locks. We break away, and I come back to reality.
"Why didn't you let me go with you Jacky-boy?" I ask being serious now. My eyes cut into you. I feel you shift away slightly. You're uncomfortable now. I can tell. No one, not even poker-face Race can keep any emotions from me. "I missed you." I state simply.
"I dunno." You say. Is that all you can say after being gone a year. A year, four months two weeks and four days. Yes I counted. You left after the strike. Almost six months after.
"Is that all you can say?" I snap, getting to my feet, and turning away from you.
"Spot?" I don't respond, closing my eyes tightly as if wishing you gone. After all the nights I came out here, wishing you would come back, I wish you would just leave. This kills more than anything. That kiss was amazing, I'd waited so long to see you again. But this really isn't the same you. You look the same, but I know something is different.
"Please, Spot. I didn't want you to give up your dream for mine. You've always wanted to be the leader of Brooklyn, I didn't want to take that away from you." Too noble of you.
"Jack," I say quietly. "There's always been one ting i wanted more than being the leader. You." I say, a tear again falling down my cheek, this time I leave it. More follow, making tails down my face.
You grab my shoulders, and turn me towards you, and I can't look you in the face. Gently you put your finger under my chin, forcing me to look you in the eye. "I wouldda left anyting to be wit ya." I say quietly. You do your job, and wipe the salty tears away. Gently kissing me again. Cowboy, you became a real cowboy, but are you still MY Cowboy? I look into your eyes, the still glitter with the stars light, jist like beore.
"I came back for you, Spot. And this time, I'm not leaving with out you. But I'm not going back to Santa Fe. I'll go where ever you want to go." I smile. A genuine smile. Something very rare any more. "But, jist remember, that the stars always shine brighter in Brooklyn." Isn't that what you said before Cowboy?
"The stars did noting but remind me of you." I said, taking your hand in mine. I hate being small. Too shrimpy. No one took me seriously, 'cept you. You knew, didn't you? But there's somethin you don't know. "The stars meant nothin without you wit me. Jist there, and now I's got you again. I's don't need no stars." It's your turn to smile. "Can we go to Louisiana?" I ask, almostly childishly. I want ta go ta Mardi Gras.
"Spot, that's not until Febuary. It's only September."
"I's know. There's a lot I gots ta do until then. I's wanna catch up with you." I grin, smirking. You laugh, kissing me again.
"Louisianna it is then. Now go git your tings. Let's go tonight." I nod. I can give up one dream for another, can't I. Dice will take charge. I trust him. "Now go." He lightly smacks my ass, pushing me towards the lodging house.
I entered, and everything got quite. I found Dice playing poker with a couple other guys. I go over and tell him to take care of things while I'm away. I didn't tell him if I'd be back or not. I didn't even know myself. What little I own, I get and put in one of my extra shirts, putting my slingshot and cane where they belong. Hat on my head.
Back in the room with everyone else, they all stand up, wishing my good-bye. I nod, and head back outside. Jack joins me as I wave to all of my Newsies. He kisses me in front of them all and I couldn't be happier that this time it was me and not Sarah.
Anyways, even if the stars WERE brighter in Brooklyn, I don't need them anymore, those I couldn't touch. This star, I can.
A/N: so how'd you like it? I might write another for Mardi Gras, but I might just leave it there. Tell me what you guys think. I'll do what most of you tell me to do. Okay then. R and R.