It's All the Same

By: Falk

Disclaimer: Digimon is copyright by Bandai, among others. I am unfortunately not one of them.

Takato's lips.

It was a thought that clouded the mind of the vulpine digimon known as Renamon. She mulled the memory over in her mind, as she remained perched in a tree near the center of the familiar Shinjuku Park. With the memory came sweet sensations that she found herself having difficulty understanding. The feel of his lips were soft, and it tasted of a familiarity that one would associate with a close, long time friend. The emotions that came with it were intense and passionate, but at the same time strangely comfortable and... right. She wasn't sure what to make of the experience.

A distracting image of Guilmon, her friend and longtime companion, invaded her thoughts. She forced it away.

The feelings were a result of her recent biomerge with her closest friend and tamer, Rika Nonaka. She found herself gratefully accepting the time she was granted by her tamer's need to attend school so that she may sort through her own emotions regarding the matter. It wasn't often she found herself so confused by matters of the heart due to her nature as a digimon. It didn't seem to traverse beyond friendship as it did with Rika, particularly since the girl entered high school. But this, she found, was extremely different.

Renamon smiled to herself as the memory of Rika's first kiss played over again her head. It was evening and the young teenagers were just about to part ways at the stone hut they had taken to meeting at. Rika and Takato seemed to idle around pretending to be busy while the rest of their friends left. They chatted about meaningless things while they continued the back and forth act of pretending to have a reason to stay and then Takato said something that made Rika retaliate with some ferocity. Takato backed away as Rika advanced and Renamon would have thought to intervene except... then Rika kissed him. It was an act she didn't understand the extent of until recently. Not even when Terriermon, having returned for something only to find that scene, made it a point that everyone knew "Gogglehead" got more action than Henry.

Renamon could feel Rika's happiness from the core of her being and she felt solace in the fact that her tamer found something that could fill the role she knew she could not. If only the onset of those new feeling didn't force some of Renamon's own to evolve.

Guilmon...

The name persisted in her mind and it was getting increasingly difficult to look the innocent saurian in the eye as of late. The image of Guilmon constantly returned to her throughout the day and with it feelings she didn't know how to act upon. It seemed the emotions that Rika felt towards Takato were reflected in her towards Guilmon. It wasn't something she felt wholly sure that she liked.
Not long after the event in which she inherited the memories and feelings of her tamer, she began to feel... self conscious around the dinosaur. Irrational thoughts regarding her appearance and her actions would make her hesitant to remain present for long, much to the dismay of Guilmon it seemed. Recently, she had even raised her voice at the rookie, an action she instantly regretted but had no time to apologize for having already run away with the strange feelings. He simply commented on how her scent was different and Renamon took that as a shot to her pride though she knew he meant no harm by it.

The whole range of human emotions was not something she was prepared for.

She rested against the tree feeling the breeze gently course through her fur while the feelings that stirred in her core mixed like something akin to a hurricane, a contrast that did not leave her without some small amusement.

"Hmm? Renamon?"

An innocent, gentle voice that threatened to completely clear Renamon's mind rose from below her. Silently, she reprimanded herself for not being aware of the location that her senses chose for her to relax in; right outside the very same stone hut that the tamers would gather at near daily. She graced the saurian with a look that hid her inner turmoil and contained only her characteristically mild curiosity. It seemed that was far more than enough for Guilmon.

"Hey, Renamon! Let's play!" The happy dinosaur danced cheerily in place in hopes that Renamon would accept his invitation. The memories of her recently strange actions flew away from her mind. Renamon, surprisingly, found that she had all but forgotten her questions. She was however, once again, feeling self-conscious but perhaps, she thought, it was time she further explored these emotions. The phrase "when opportunity knocks" came to mind; a phrase that a particularly noisy rabbit friend of theirs seemed to voice quite frequently lately.

Renamon phased from her perch down to the side of the dancing dinosaur and smiled so as to say, "What would you like to play?"

Guilmon took a moment from his dancing to gaze back at his smiling friend and an almost mesmerized look seemed to glaze over his expression. Renamon, in response, recoiled a bit at the expression. She felt as if he might have found something on her face that she, by some act of a higher power, had somehow missed with all of her worldly senses. Of course, such a thing was impossible but the feeling remained. Guilmon seemed to notice her strange response after another moment or so and shook his head fiercely to rid it of whatever came over him. Then he laughed, smiling like he had done something strange. It was a familiar laugh. A laugh she had heard far more frequently in recent weeks. It was...

His tamer's nervous laugh?

Renamon rolled the thought over for a second before placing it into the far reaches of her mind which is the best she could manage as she never let go of information. Noticing that Guilmon was setting off she began to follow, her graceful step easily keeping up with his despite the slightly faster pace. It was a pace that struck her as... a bit nervous? No, that was highly unlikely. This was Guilmon after all and he was never nervous in good company... wait, then maybe she was bad company? That wasn't a thought that entertained Renamon at all. A frown unconsciously made its way to her face as another feeling that she had trouble controlling rose from within her. Those feelings that lacked the confidence she would normally carry in her every graceful move. Feelings of... inadequacy. That, she thought, is something she has never dealt with aside from her position with Rika and even then only in the bare beginnings of their relationship.

Beginnings... Another word that might help explain what she was going through. It almost felt like she was a kit relearning how the world worked from a human perspective. So lost in her thoughts she didn't even take notice when her companion stopped.

"Are you mad Renamon?"

The vulpine digimon snapped back to her senses hearing the sound of sadness from the now droopy-eared Guilmon. She raised her hands in a placating gesture to reassure him that she was fine. Confused yes, but angry she was not. She actually felt a growing sense of warmth while walking with her longtime companion. She began to feel a different sort of warmth when she realized she had lost her words and instead chose to gesture her assurances. Taking a healthy, breath she calmed herself and collected her thoughts again.

"I assure you Guilmon, I only..." a brief pause punctuated her words as she thought to choose what word might best fit before continuing. "I am happy to spend this time with you."

His face visibly brightened at her words and his ears perked back to life once again. Seeming exceedingly happy with what she said, he continued walking. She noted, briefly, that this was how Takato acted with Rika and often still does, though she felt she couldn't quite respond with the lighthearted insults her tamer did.

Maybe, she thought, she shouldn't think so much on the complicated things. She recalled something Rika's grandmother, Seiko, had once said, "The best things in life are simple," a phrase that was often paired with a modest cup of hot tea.

The vulpine digimon looked to her companion and he shared an uncharacteristically furtive glance with her. Perhaps, for now, this was all right. There was no need to rush the feelings that continued to grow inside her. She laid a paw atop Guilmon's head that he first recoiled slightly against but quickly nuzzled into. The contact seemed to comfort both of the digimon as they continued in silence, Guilmon's new playground all but forgotten.

A/N: Just a little one shot to get me back into swing. I reasoned that if they shared their feelings when partners, then further when biomerged, after so many times I thought the line between the Tamer's feelings and the Digimon's would blur. I also like a little RenaGuil fluff.

This may undergo one more edit in the future as I've been waiting on a response from my editor but since I've been waiting a few weeks I put it up now. Also thanks to Crazyeight for also helping beta this.

Please review or flame as you see fit. Try to be constructive either way though.