Homage to Transit by Edmund Cooper first published Faber and Faber 1964. Re-imagined as a Torchwood AU.

One

Jack Harkness, tall glass in hand, stood by the kitchen bench as he stared out of the window into the garden. Tipping the glass, he took a deep gulp and felt the liquid burn its way down and warm his belly. Tilting the glass to his mouth again he realised something was missing. Scowling, he saw his glass was empty. Checking the bottle on the draining-board he calculated if he could fit in another glass before he had to leave for another pointless drudge filled day. Using his middle finger, he wiped the inside of the glass to catch any remaining drops. Sucking his finger, he went back to staring out at the charred remains of what had been a very middle class suburban garden. His eyes rested on the one patch of green that remained.

Damn he must have missed it during his rampage at the weekend.

'To Monsanto and the creators of Roundup,' he said, raising his empty glass in a mock toast.

Now all he needed was a dry spell, petrol and a match. Smiling grimly, he wondered if the fire service could get there and extinguish the blaze before it was all burned to hell.

That ought to shut up Mrs Blyth and her fucking snide comments. 'Condescending fucking bitch.' Or maybe he could just let the lot rot. 'Yes, let the lot rot,' he repeated in his mind. Although burning it all to hell had a good ring about it, he imagined Mrs Blyth running around in hysterics as the smoke greyed the perfectly white façade of her perfect house. Pity he couldn't stake the bitch out and douse her while he burned her along with the garden.

His watch alarm went off; 7.30 am, heralding the start of his work day. A day of boredom, pointless activity and going through the motions awaited. The mini bus would be here to pick him up soon, to whisk him off to the delights of a PR exercise created by the pale bloated, overpaid, under worked, management above him. 'It was an opportunity to demonstrate his management skills' they had told him. He didn't need an opportunity, his sales team out-performed every other team in the company and he had sales awards on his desk to prove it.

Apparently, there was no longer respective teams, they were one company, one culture, they were all one, he reminded himself of the blurb. So today was the big team outing, working at team exercises at some corporate, team building, venue. It wouldn't have been so bad if it could have been his team, but they were all mixing and matching. The idea was supposed to break down the barriers so they got to know everyone. Looking at the glass with longing he poured in generous amount then drained it in two gulps.

Taking out his breath spray, he used it. Maybe this day was an excuse to ease him out. No, he covered himself too well, no drinking at work. Only here, where he was the sole occupant of his own private hell, he could drink away the terrible numbness that had consumed him since Clare had died.

He tipped the bottle before him; it was a ¼ full. He checked the lounge and did a quick tally. There was an empty bottle on the coffee table, two on the couch and several more empties piled behind the wreck of the TV.

A horn sounded. He checked his pocket for his wallet, picked up his keys and coat and raced out the door. Clicking the lock, he slammed the door shut and pulled it to double-check.

Racing down the drive he boarded the mini bus, nodding at those he knew, then sat down on the only empty double seat. Pulling out his mobile he sent an order to his liquor agent. Twenty bottles should do it. He thumbed payment and felt the warmth in his belly fade.

Arriving at the conference centre Jack stood waiting while the organiser began to check off their names. He took a quick look around. There was a fine mist hanging in the trees of the grounds, creating a spectral beauty. 'Jack Harkness,' he called out when his turn came.

Something caught his eye on the ground. It looked like someone had lost some jewellery. Picking it up he saw it was a white crystal of immense beauty which began to glow so bright everything around him disappeared.

Jack opened his eyes, all he could see was the same white glow. He blinked and tried to clear his vision then sat up. Instinctively he looked at his watch and realised it had stopped 'Strange,' he thought. He had only replaced the battery a few months before and it was good for five years.

He was in a square, backlit room of white. In the corner near his bed was an all-in-one toilet and sink. Along the wall facing him was a table which seemed to be part of the wall and a simple chair. On the wall was a flatscreen TV. On examining the table, he saw it had a built-in keyboard.

Considering the circumstances, he felt strangely calm. 'Had he lost it and been committed then drugged?' he asked himself.

Searching the room again for a second time, he tried to think back. He remembered he had arrived at the teambuilding venue. He had gotten off the bus and found some jewellery; no, a crystal, it was glowing and he couldn't pull his vision away.

He heard a ping and, twisting his head around, he saw writing going from left to right across the screen on the wall.

'You are safe, in no danger and will not be harmed. All needs will be provided. All needs are to be communicated via this keyboard.'

Jack sat down and began to type with two fingers.

'WHERE AM I AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!' Jack typed back.

'You are safe, in no danger and will not be harmed. All needs will be provided.'

'You have not answered my question. Where am I and who the hell are you?'

'You are safe. You will not be harmed.'

'You are harming me right now by keeping me against my will and refusing to tell me who you are.'

'Define.'

'Keeping me prisoner is harming me.'

'Explain how you are being harmed?

'Just answer my question. Where am I and who are you?'

'You will not be harmed and you are safe.'

'If you have kidnaped me then you are in for a big surprise. I have no money.'

'Explain?'

'POUNDS, SHLLINGS AND PENCE.'

'Explain?'

'Paper and rounds bits of metal used to buy things.'

'Explain relevance?'

'I have no money.'

'Noted.'

'Whatever you did was against my will.'

'Define will?

Infuriated Jack pushed himself away from the table.

Jack looked around to see if he had missed a way to escape. Searching again he confirmed that the room was seamless. There was the toilet and sink; maybe he could flood the floor to get a reaction. He pushed in the centre plug in the sink and turned on both taps. The sink filled but just as it reached the edge the plug self-ejected and the sink drained. Taking off a sock he pushed the plug back in. This time he was ready as soon as the plug raised itself he jammed the sock around it. 'Ha got ya you bastards!' Jack shouted out. He watched as the water flowed over the sink. To his dismay, instead of flooding the floor water seeped away. He put his hand down and found the floor was dry.

Jack stared at the screen feeling peevish at his failure of creating a flood, sat down and typed 'Why did the quick brown fox jump over the lazy dog?'

'What does the fox and dog have in relation to each other?'

'The brown fox is quick and the dog is lazy.'

'Explain?'

'They had a choice for a start not like this fun and games.'

'Define fun and games?'

'Games are played because they are fun and being trapped here is no game.'

'So the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog because it was a game and fun?'

'No, the lazy dog was playing the game.'

'Define game'

'As stated games are played for fun.'

'Define fun in reference to the quick brown fox jumping over the lazy dog?'

Jack sat back either the person on the other side was being obtuse or just yanking his chain. Either way this was not getting him anywhere.

Pursing his lips, he sat in deep thought and felt his stomach roil.

'I'm hungry,' he typed in. 'Are you going to starve me?'

'Please indicate preference?'

'Chicken, green salad, no onion, two slices of white bread, butter.'

Jack prepared to meet his jailers when a panel appeared in the wall, there lay a tray filled with exactly what he had requested.

'NO coffee!' Jack typed in.

'Please indicate preference'

'Black, one sugar.'

The panel re-opened and he saw a cup of coffee was now included with his meal. He checked the chicken salad and it was substantial. Whoever had him didn't want him to go hungry and he was hungry.

Draining the coffee, he now typed, 'Whiskey, double,' and looked at the panel in expectation.

'Check your trunks for personal items.'

What trunks?

'There are two trunks side by side against the opposite wall.'

Turning his head Jack saw two substantial marine storage trunks that had not been there before.

He opened the trunk marked as personal items. It was filled with carefully wrapped whiskey bottles, six layers deep. He picked up the first bottle and pulled off its protective cover to see the brand. Not just whiskey, but the sort of whiskey he used to enjoy before volume overcame quality.

He screwed off the lid and took a sip and rolled the liquid around his mouth, enjoying how the flavour invaded his senses.

Now he paid attention to the second trunk. He pulled out several sets of new clothes suggestive of a hot climate along with a pair of good hiking boots and a pair of sandals. There was a shaving kit along with several spare disposable shavers.

Now empty of clothes, he saw the bottom was lined with paper, his oil paints, charcoals, pencils even a collapsible easel. After losing Clare his creative passion had died with her; in fact, he hadn't painted for over five years so he was bewildered to why these were included.

Pulling himself up he took the opened bottle of whiskey and filled the cup. Jack sat looking at the unpacked contents strewn across the floor. Whoever packed these knew him down the core of his being. Yet no one living knew about his drinking or that he used to paint. Let alone pack his favourite brand of bucket list whiskey worth hundreds of pounds a bottle.

Draining the cup, he felt suddenly exhausted. Leaving the mess as it was he laid down and within a few moments fell asleep.

Waking, Jack felt the same sense of calm he had when he has first awakened. Standing, he saw all the items he had pulled out of the trunks had been repacked.

First relieving himself, he washed his hands and went over to the table. Sitting, he saw the opened whiskey bottle was on the table along with a glass. His hand instinctively moved towards the bottle but he stopped himself. He was unsure how long his hoard would have to last so he better start rationing.

Next, he picked up his watch. He felt strange not being able to tell how much time was passing.

'I need a battery for my watch and breakfast,' he typed.

'State preference?'

A few moments later the panel slid opened, on a tray two slices of toast, butter and honey, with a cup of coffee, along with a small watch battery.

Looking down at his now ticking watch, he wondered exactly what time he should set, then decided he was going to claim this as morning and set it to 8:30 am.

'Now what?' Jack typed.

'You will complete a test.'

'And what if I don't want to?' Jack typed in irritation.

'The test is not harmful.'

'I didn't ask if the test was harmful. I said I don't want to.'

'Please replace the tray.'

'Don't want to,' Jack replied, feeling petulant.

'All your needs have been met. Your cooperation is required. Completing the test will lead to a reward.'

'What sort of reward?'

'Completion of the test will reveal the reward.'

'Can I choose my reward?'

'You will find the reward suitable,' came the enigmatic reply.

'Will I enjoy it?'

'That is up to you.'

'Goons,' Jack typed then put the tray back into the slot.

There was a beep and the screen filled with instructions. It was a maths test and it was timed for two hours.

He felt a wave of rebellion and wondered if he should fail on purpose. Then again, maybe the test would help give him insight into what was going on.

Leaning forward, he pressed start. He was three questions away from finishing when the test ended.

'Okay where is my reward?' he typed in after five minutes passed and nothing happened.

Without warning the west wall was gone. Standing in an identical room was a young man in a formal suit minus the jacket.

'I guess you are my reward,' Jack said and the young man blanched.

'I am not anyone's reward,' the young man snapped back.

'That came out wrong.' Jack held out his hand. 'Jack Harkness. I'm not sure if I should be glad there is someone else or unhappy because you are in the same situation as me?'

'Ianto Jones.' The young man shook Jack's hand warily and snatched it back as if the contact made him uncomfortable.

'You were on the bus,' Jack remembered. 'You were sitting towards the back on your own.'

Ianto rubbed the back of his neck. 'You were the last person we had to pick up. I remember you were wearing a great big overcoat reminded me of something out of World War Two.'

'Do you work for Torchwood Enterprises?' Jack asked as the man appeared familiar.

'Yes, I'm PA to Yvonne Hartman.'

'What do you last remember?' Jack queried.

'I was following the co-ordinator when I saw what looked like diamond ring. Next thing I woke up here: white room, toilet, table, keyboard. Good food, strange conversation via the keyboard and promises I'm not going to be harmed. Two ruddy containers appeared out of nowhere and today I did this test.'

'What kind of watch have you got?' Jack asked.

Ianto looked at him strangely.

Jack explained. 'Mine is digital. About five months ago I put in a new battery which was good for about five years but it was dead when I woke up here.'

'Mine auto-winds up. I noticed it had stopped. Few flicks of the wrists and it's fully wound,' Ianto said.

'How many days would your watch run if you just left if somewhere?'

Ianto shook his head. 'No idea. '

'Look, we're both standing. Why don't we sit down?' Jack suggested. Ianto hesitated then moved into the room, taking his own chair and joining Jack.

Sitting by the table Ianto picked up the bottle. 'Wow that's is a good brand.'

'Nothing but the best, would you like a drop?'

Ianto raised a hand politely declining. 'So I guess the question is where we are, what do who ever has us want, and what next?'

'Is it just you and me or are there others? I mean we can't just go missing, people will notice,' Jack said.

'I'm not sure about you but there's no one to miss me. Well, not until my boss hasn't got her coffee,' Ianto told him.

'When we don't turn up to work, queue management will notice for a start,' Jack explained

'I guess,' Ianto reluctantly agreed.

Jack went to say something when he heard a familiar beep and a new message scrolled across the screen.

'Please return to your rooms. Another test is about to begin.'

'No, we want to stay together,' Jack typed in.

'You will not be separated long.'

Ianto now added his own message. 'We are not moving.'

'You must return to your rooms.'

'NO,' Ianto typed.

Jack laughed then typed, 'Go screw yourselves we are staying together.' He looked at Ianto who was smiling for the first time.

'What now?' Ianto said as moments passed and nothing happened.

'Not sure, but I think we won,' Jack said smiling.

He was about to say more when the food panel snapped open. They both turned and a saw piercing white light.

Jack opened his eyes and knew he was staring at the ceiling. He was back on his bed, arms by his side. He sat up Ianto was gone.

He walked across to the keyboard. 'Where is Ianto?' he typed.

'He has been returned to his room unharmed.'

'I want to see him.'

'You will not be separated for long.'

'How do I know he is safe and unharmed?'

'He has been returned to his room unharmed'

'I want to check for myself.'

'He is unharmed and you will not be separated for long.'

'You have stripped us of all control. What you did was unfair and uncalled for,' Jack typed, worried he may have lost contact with the only other human here.

'You were asked to return to your rooms and you did not comply. Do not agitate yourself. There will be another test and there will be a reward.'

'Why didn't you say so? Let's get this started.'

'It has been some time since you took nourishment.'

Jack had a thought and sat down as he tried to recall every cooking show he had ever watched so he typed, 'I want the real thing; no substitutes. Consommé, Turduken with white truffle stuffing, potatoes roasted in duck fat, fresh peas, 24-layer trifle with fresh fruit finished off with gold leaf. A bottle of Moet and Chandon champagne. And a cup of Kopi Luwak coffee.'

Twenty seconds later the panel slid open and his order was filled to the letter. Either there were thirty chefs back there who knew exactly what he was going to order and just happened to have everything ready to go or he was witnessing the impossible.

Finishing what was the greatest meal of his life, Jack drained his coffee cup then placed it and the tray into the slot.

'Ready,' he typed.

This time it was a general knowledge quiz with some science thrown in. Mostly it was multi-choice which he could bluff his way through. Others he took his best guess.

However, it was the last section that was most curious.

Sex is too life as Fire is to: Furnace, Forest, Fluid, Fulfilment, Flame. He pondered then wrote Furnace.

Later there was another, Mountain is to hill as man is to: Ape, Woman, Child, Foetus. The best choice appeared to be Ape.

Power is to wisdom as Religion is to: Devil, Hope, God, Salvation, Love. Jack chose God.

The last part was even more intriguing

If you were a Supreme Being would you endow the living with infinite potential or would you set a limit upon their evolution.

If you were a Supreme Being, do you think you would understand the meaning of death.

If you were a Supreme Being, would you care more for the death of a virus or birth of a galaxy.

Jack wrote (a) Unlimited potential. (b) No (c) Virus.

Finally state what you believe are the greatest and worst achievements of mankind.

Under worst he listed; War, nuclear weapons, pollution, plastic, cruelty to animals, environmental destruction, genocide, overpopulation.

Best: Music, art, literature, science, medicine, striving for equality and understanding and acceptance of all peoples. Death of smallpox and polio. Courage over adversity. Love.

'Now I've done my preforming seal trick now open that wall and show me Ianto,' Jack demanded.

'Define performing seal trick'

'NEVER MIND THAT MOVE THE WALL.'

'Do not agitate yourself'

'You promised me that we would not be separated for long. Now open up the wall.'

In a blink the wall was gone.

'Who the hell are you?' A woman in her late twenties, dark hair with a gap in her teeth. said.

'Where is Ianto?' Jack asked, looking around her.

'I don't know any Ianto. Last time there was this bloke, bus driver full of himself all sorts of theories, glad to see the back of him if you ask me. It was a bit too much beer and bloke if you get what I mean…'

'Last time there was a young man in his early twenties, Ianto Jones,' Jack interrupted.

'I know who you are,' the woman said, her eyes widening 'You're Jack Harkness. You work on the 6th floor, I've done temp work for you. I'm Gwen Cooper.' She held her hand.

'Nice to meet you Gwen Cooper.' Jack shook the offered hand.

'You probably don't remember me. I sort of fill in when needed, take the overflow, sort out orders. The bloke I met had all sorts of theories, do you have one?'

'I don't have one,' Jack answered honestly 'Do you have a watch?

'What that got to do with anything?' Gwen asked, confused.

'Something, most likely nothing,' he replied.

'I think it's one of those reality TV shows like Big Brother, or one of those shows they put people into and let them sort each other out. I never expected to be part of anything like that. Not that I'm boring or anything.' Gwen stopped. She realised Jack was distracted and not listening. 'So, was he a looker then this Ianto?' She laughed. 'What am I saying, how the hell would another bloke know about that?'

'He worked in the same place we do. He's the personal assistant to Yvonne Hartman,' Jack told her.

'Oh him, I sit to next to Lisa, they went out a couple of times. Very shy. We were amazed he has the bottle to ask, and those suits…always so dressed up. Overdressed if you ask me.'

'So that's three for three,' Jack said out loud, interrupting the flow of gossip

'Three for what?' Gwen asked.

'So far all three of us worked for the same company. Did you find out anything about the man you spoke to?'

'No, he just went on about his ideas to what is going on?'

'What was the last thing you recall?' Jack checked.

'We had just arrived at this swanky in the country place for some day out where we get to play games, see how we all work together. All I knew was it was day out of the office. As I got off the bus and I saw someone had dropped their earring. I picked it up and next thing I wake up here. Then there is this stupid bloody screen asking me questions like I was back in school. Gave me a right headache.'

'Storage containers?' Jack questioned.

'Yes, and you?'

'Whiskey.'

'Cigarettes and Mills and Boon romance novels,' she laughed. 'I love a good ciggy and read. Except for couple of favourites they are all new. Normally I buy one a week on the way home from work every Friday.' She was stopped when they heard a sound of a panel opening.

'Don't turn around.' Jack pulled her towards him. 'The last time Ianto and I refused to be separated. The panel opened and we turned, next thing I know I woke up alone.'

'Jack, I'm scared,' Gwen said, her eyes widening in fear.

'I'm going to turn and look,' Jack said.

He laughed. 'It's okay. It' a pot of tea for two.'

'I ordered just after I finished that stupid quiz. It must have thought we might like to have a drink together.' Gwen nudged his arm.

Returning with the tray they both sat nursing their drinks.

'What do you think will happen to us?' Gwen asked.

'That I don't know. What I do know is we have not been harmed. We have been looked after, fed, everything we need is here including our favourite things. We could be anywhere,'

'You hear about alien abductions,' Gwen suggested.

'Other than the tests we've not been touched,' Jack added.

'No probing for a start,' Gwen laughed.

'Once all three of us don't turn up I'm sure the alarm will be raised,' Jack pointed out.

'Well I hope so. I had plans, going out we were for a temp girls' night out. When I don't turn up they will check to see why I didn't come,' Gwen added.

'Family will report you missing I'm sure,' Jack said.

'My dad walked out when I was three. Mum died two years ago. Been drifting a bit to be honest.'

'So far there are three of us from Torchwood Enterprises. If all three of us are missing an investigation will be raised,' Jack reasoned.

'Maybe this all part of the day out,' Gwen suggested. 'See how we cope with extraordinary circumstances.'

'The meal I just ordered would have cost a couple of thousand pounds. I can't see Torchwood Enterprises paying for any of that,' Jack said.

'I've just been ordering things like fish and chips or burgers.'

Jack went on to explain.

'What on earth is turkduken?' Gwen asked when Jack finished his list of food items.

'Turkey, duck and chicken. You bone each then roll them all up together one inside the other and roast it. I also asked for white truffle stuffing. Truffles start at five thousand pounds of a kilo. The best champagne I could think off. To really throw them a curve I asked them for Kopi Luwak coffee.'

'Never heard of that neither.' Gwen pulled a long face.

'The coffee is made from beans that have been eaten by a Civet, a small animal that lives in Asia'

'What do they cut it open?'

'No, they wait.'

Gwen eyes widened. 'That is absolutely disgusting. So this coffee is basically shit coffee.'

'They wash the beans but the reason I asked for it was because it very expensive and rare.'

'And why would you order such a complicated meal and end with that horrible coffee?'

'I wanted to test to see how long it would take.'

'And?'

'Twenty seconds.' As Jack replied they both heard a familiar beep from the screen that told him there was a message.

'Return to your rooms.'

'I don't want to go,' Gwen typed, distressed.

'You will not remain apart for long.'

'You said that last time,' Jack typed.

'Return to your room and please lie down.'

'No,' Gwen typed

'The next stage is about to begin.'

Jack moved Gwen aside and began typing. 'Stage of what?'

'The wall will not be replaced but you must return.'

'Can we push the beds together?' Gwen asked.

'If that is what is required for you to comply.'

Working together they moved the beds until they were side by side and lay down. As they did the ceiling disappeared and was replaced with a field filled of millions of stars.

Jack gasped at the beauty as the stars appeared to glow. Then a blue planet came into view. A perfect jewel set against a host of other jewels.

'This is life,' a calm voice intoned.

Then as an act of mercy he sank into oblivion.