Katie: Well, guys, it's time for me to rewrite one of my favorite woman-empowerment movies: Legally Blonde! The girl who gets into Harvard Law School to get her ex-boyfriend back, only to turn him down when he proposes!

Natsu: I'm so lost, here.

Lucy: Who's playing whom?

Erza: I would like to know that, myself.

Katie: Weeeellllll… you might not like the casting.

Gray: Lay it on us.

Katie: Here's the cast list: Callahan will be played by Master Jose, Vivian will be played by Cana, Gray will be Kyle the UPS guy, Juvia will be Paulette, Loke will play Warner, Natsu will be Emmett, Ichiya will be Nikos Argitakos, Freed will be Carlos, Ultear will be Chutney, Levy, Wendy, Lisanna, and other Fairy Tail girls will be the Delta Nus, and Enid will be Evergreen.

Lucy: But wait! You're missing someone. What about Elle?

Erza: Yes. What about her?

Katie: I was getting to that! *evil smirk and laugh*

Happy: Natsu, I'm scared!

Katie: Elle Woods will be played by… *drumroll* …LUCY!

Lucy: Me?! Are you serious!?

Katie: Who's more "legally blonde" than you?

Natsu: I'm so lost right now.

Katie: *pats Natsu's shoulder* You always are.

Erza: Let's get this story started!

Levy rode her bike to the house. She had just picked up the card for the president of her sorority to congratulate her for her engagement. Well, Lucy wasn't engaged quite yet, but they just knew Loke was going to propose that night. As the bluenette went inside, she handed the card to various girls in Delta Nu, who signed in excitement. She ran into Lisanna, who slid the card under Lucy's door after signing it herself.

"Oh, hey, Plue!" the Delta Nu president said to her precious puppy. "Whatcha got there?" He had picked up the card and gave it to her. "'Good luck tonight! Lucy and Loke forever!' Aww! Aren't they just the sweetest? Oh! I have some serious shopping to do before tonight."

The blonde, in a pink sundress, found Levy talking to Lisanna down in the courtyard.

"Oh, my God, you guys*," she said. "I love the card, but are you really sure he'll propose tonight?"

"Of course!" piped up Wendy. "Levy said he just had lunch with his grandmother so he could get the ring!"

"What's he going to do, Fed-Ex a 6-carat diamond?" Lisanna giggled.

"Come on, girls, we have shopping to do!" They laughed as they walked toward the boutique.

"I don't know why you're ignoring your signature color!" Levy chided her best friend.

"I don't want to look like this is any other date! If he proposes, I want to look… perfect." Lucy let out a gasp. "Bridal!"

"No-one easier to sell to than a dumb blonde daddy's girl," one of the clerks whispered to her coworker, ripping the "special sale" tag off a nearby dress. "Excuse me, have you seen this? We just got it in yesterday."

"Oh!" Lucy said, smiling. "Is that a half-loop stitch on China silk?"

"Uh-huh!"

"But the thing is, you can't use a half-loop stitch on China silk; it'll pucker. And you didn't just get this in because I saw it in last May's Vogue. I'm not about to buy last year's dress at this year's price!"

"Show her who's boss!" Lisanna cheered.

"Go, Lucy!" Wendy chirped.

"UGH!" the clerk said, stomping off.

That night, Lucy and Loke headed to a nice restaurant for their date. He kept looking at his watch, like he had somewhere else to be.

"So, Luce, I was just thinking about the future," he told her. "And you know how we've been having so much fun the past few months?

"Yeah," she answered.

"Well, Harvard is different. I've got to stop messing around, you know, get serious. Especially if I'm going to be a senator by the time I'm thirty."

"I completely agree, and you know you have my support."

"That's why I think we need to—"

"I do."

"—Break up."

"What?!" she said in shock.

"I've been thinking about it, and I think it's the right thing to do." Lucy started crying. "Sweetheart, please don't cry."

"So when you said, you would always love me, no matter what, you were just messing around?!"

"It's not like I have much of a choice here! I've got a lot to live up to! My family has five generations of senators, my brother's in the top three at Yale Law, and he just got engaged to a Vanderbilt, for God's sake!" Lucy continued crying, making everyone in the restaurant glare at him. "She's okay. Bad salad." She stood up and stomped out. "You get the car, I'll get the check."

Lucy let out a sniff as she began walking towards Delta Nu. Loke pulled the car up alongside her.

"Get in the car, and we'll talk about this."

"No."

"Luce, I need someone serious, and my parents, they're not going to want a daughter-in-law like you."

"So you're breaking up with me because you think your parents won't like me? But everybody likes me! I'm the Lambda Delta Pi sweetheart!"

"East Coast types are different than the ones out here. Get in the car."

"No."

"You're gonna ruin your shoes."

"Okay." She got in. As soon as he dropped her off, he left.

A week later, Wendy knocked on Lucy's door.

"Lucy, it's Wendy! I need some advice," she called.

"Sweetie, didn't you hear?" Levy asked. "Warner dumped her last week."

Lucy, on the other hand, was binge-eating chocolate and watching a movie.

"I love you," the man on screen said.

"Liar!" Lucy sobbed, throwing the chocolate at the screen.

"Here," Lisanna said, handing her friend a shake. "Drink this." Lucy sipped it.

"Sweetie, it's been a week. What's the one thing that always makes us feel better?"

"Mani-Pedi's!" Lisanna squealed.

"It's terrible," Levy told her manicurist. "We all thought that she would be the first to walk down the aisle, but now she's totally adrift. She had six grilled cheese sandwiches. Just stuffed them in her mouth all at once. Her nails are totally chipped, and she hasn't conditioned her hair in like, a week."

"Maybe she's going for the grunge look," Lisanna put in.

"She'll never get him back with those cuticles." Lucy sighed, and began rifling through a magazine. She found a picture and gasped.

"Do you know who this is?" she asked the woman next to her. "It's Loke's older brother, Scorpio! He just got engaged to Aquarius Vanderbilt, First Year, Yale Law. This is the type of girl he wants! This is what I need to become to be serious!"

"What, practically deformed?!" the woman asked.

"No. A law student." Lucy got up and left.

"Law school?" her father asked as she swam in the pool.

"It's a perfectly respectable place, Daddy," she answered, holding on to the edge.

"But law school is a place for boring, ugly, serious people, and you, Button, are none of those things."

"Please?" The look she gave her father made him give in.

"Only if you make the right grades to get in, Button."

"Harvard law school?" the career counselor asked.

"Yes," Lucy replied.

"But that's a top three school, and you're a fashion major. Harvard's not going to be impressed that you aced 'History of Polka-dots'!"

"Please, I have to go there."

"All right. What are your backups?"

"I don't need backups; I'm going to Harvard."

"Okay, then, in that case, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors, one heck of a personal essay, and at least a 175 on your LSATs." She printed off a page and handed it to the blonde. "Good luck."

"I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Beta Lambda Kappa. This is going to be easy."

Lisanna peeked into Lucy's room and gasped, bringing Levy running.

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" Levy asked.

"Studying for the LSATs," Lucy answered.

"What's that?"

"It's an exam. Girls, I'm going to Harvard!"

"Wait, isn't that Loke's school?" Lisanna inquired.

"Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back."

"Sweetie, are you sure you can do this?" Levy pressed.

"I have the highest GPA in Delta Nu."

"Then, you're going to need this." Lisanna handed her a rose quartz bracelet.

"Your bracelet?"

"My lucky bracelet. It helped me pass French."

"You passed French?" Levy yelped.

"Girls, help me study!" Lucy begged.

All through the spring, through dances and parties and mixers, Lucy studied. Her Delta Nu sisters were by her side, keeping her focused and determined. On the day of the LSATs, Lucy did her best. The day the results came, all the Delta Nus were gathered around as she opened the envelope.

"What does it say?" Wendy asked anxiously.

"179!" Lucy announced. They all began cheering.

"And that's why you should choose me, Lucy Heartfilia, future lawyer for the class of 2018!" the video finished. The men stared at the girl on the screen.

"Well, she does have an impressive resume," one pointed out.

"A fashion major?" the head asked.

"Well, sir, we've never had one before. And aren't we always looking for diversity?"

"Lucy Heartfilia… Welcome to Harvard."

Katie: And there you have it, folks. The first chapter of a story I started writing last December but forgot about until this morning. Seriously, the part from the conversation with her dad to this author's note is about twelve hours from today. Sorry I've been busy with other work. I'll try to update this one more often.

Natsu: When do I come in?

Katie: Chapter 2. You know, her first few days at Harvard.

Gray: Why am I the UPS guy?

Katie: Reasons!

Lucy: I like this.

Katie: Me too! Read and review, and so long and thanks for all the fish!