Protection Detail's Over
Tony's POV
The gunshot rang out to late for me to warn her. I felt that if I had done my job and done it well, Kate would be alive. I, however, didn't do my job, and that, in my opinion, cost Kate her life. I didn't understand. Life no longer made sense. Why Kate? Of all the people, why did that terrorist kill her? Why the sweet, smart, and beautiful women every one loved?
I had never been so devastated. Sometimes, you never come to appreciate someone until she's gone. I know now that I have always loved her. I finally knew then, but it was to late. She was already dead. I think that I am as dead as she is. Tony Dinozzo at that point would never be the same person, because he lost his best friend. The women who is sometimes his only friend.
For the past two years, going out with other women seemed wrong. As much as I loved the different women, she was never the same as Kate. The reason I flirted with all those women is that I was trying to find someone that could replace Kate. The problem was no one could come close to comparing to her. It still seemed like an innocent method. The he-she murderer that I made out with and the serial killer that ended up almost killing me were setbacks, sure, but no system's perfect, right? Sure, I may date and make out with some that are a little homicidal, or something, but that's life, right? Everyone does it once in a while. Regardless, Kate was the one.
For two years, I tried to gather the courage to tell her how much she meant to me, but when I did, it was too late. I always wondered if she loved me, and I guess I always will wonder. I can't ask her anymore.
I wish I could tell her that I would take care of her and love her and care for her for the rest of our lives. I would do it regardless of what she said, but I wish I could tell her that. I also wish she could tell me if I made her as happy as she made me. At that point in time I could only guess if I made her happy. If I stood by her when she truly needed me, if I made her laugh as much as I should, and if I showed how much I loved her on a day to day basis. It was my goal, and I didn't know if I succeeded.
All I know is that she did.