I woke up in a daze. My eyes would not open immediately, but I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I knew where I was, but I was not exactly sure of what I was yet. I suddenly felt a tingle reaching from my legs to my fingers that signalled I was getting the feeling back in my body. My eyes opened slowly as if hesitant to what they were going to see. I'd never been the best behaved kid who'd ever lived, so who knows which end I'd come up. My eyes finally found the courage to force themselves open enough so that I could see where I was.

The first thing that came to my attention was that everything was white. It looked like I wasn't anywhere near hell then which was somewhat a relief. Unless this was hell, and my hell was where everything was perfect. Of course it wouldn't be perfect. She wasn't here with me. I pushed these sad thoughts out of my head for the moment, I had to figure out exactly where I was. I looked around to see if there was anything apart from the endless white that stretched further than my mind could comprehend. I couldn't see anything that stood out against the bright void. Nothing but a beautiful world with no colour.

I bent down to touch the floor slowly expecting the inevitable pain in my leg that came with osteosarcoma; but it never came. I touched my leg to find soft skin, and that there was no artificial leg. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes, feeling the new warm skin that felt smooth against my fingers. I finally opened my eyes, and moved my hands to the floor to find it smooth like glass and cold as winter.

I stood up again finally, and gave a brief look at my surroundings once again. It suddenly occurred to me that if I was dead, then perhaps I was in heaven. But, if heaven's in the sky, what's above heaven? I looked up expecting to see a vast sea of stars that fell over each other like young children, still completely unaware of life's tortures; but instead was greeted by a metal ladder that stretched up into white and disappeared. 'Maybe that's why they gave me the leg, so I could climb up and do their work, and when I get there, their lazy asses can tell me I'm actually going to hell.' I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed inwardly.

I jumped and grabbed the bottom bar and held onto it as it came tumbling down with my body weight until I could pull it down enough so that I could reach it with my feet. I put my new foot on the first bar. It was cold. It felt good being able to feel again, the simple feelings that we get used to like cold and warmth that's ripped from you before you learn to appreciate them. I began to climb, co ordinating my legs as I reached further up the seemingly endless ladder.

I was about twenty bars up when I felt something digging into my calf. It was not unpleasant, but normally when you die they don't put things in your suit pockets. I held tightly onto the bar with my left hand tightly as I reached down to see what it was, when suddenly I felt the ladder begin to move. It wasn't very fast, but it was slowing progressing upwards. I was becoming more and more aware that because everything was white, it still looked as if I hadn't left the ground. I pushed my right hand into my pocket and pulled out a box. I flipped it over and saw that an opened box of cigarettes had been placed inside. I opened the packet and noticed the neat writing on the lid of the box. 'Hazel Grace, you beautiful creature.' I whispered, smiling at the note except inside I felt like I was breaking. 'You've given me a lifetime of beautiful memories, now go have another.' I knew it would not be anywhere as good as it had been with her, but I could wait.

As if I had awoken from a dream, all at once, I wasn't alone anymore. The white disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared to me and I was surrounded by a dimly lit street. It was familiar, but I couldn't remember how I knew it. 'Augustus Waters, I've been waiting for you. It looks as if you've been busy. Have you completely forgotten me?' Said a voice I knew only too well. I closed my eyes and faced the expectant face of the beautiful girl before me. She reminded me of Hazel. 'Hello, Caroline Mathers. It's been a while.'