A short, angsty One shot in honor of Valentine's Day. Enjoy
He picked up the phone. "O'Neill." He knew it must be important because he'd told his secretary to hold all calls. He was in the middle of appropriations and he had to finish the damn report for the committee by Friday.
"Jack, it's Daniel."
He smiled slightly and set down his pen. Anyone from Sg1 was exempt from the 'hold all calls' directive. It always (or almost always) brightened his day when he heard from one of his former team.
"Hey Space Monkey – how's it going?"
"Uh fine – good, yeah, it's uh okay."
"Well that sounds promising. What's up?"
"Nothing. I mean – I'm fine, Teal'c's doing okay – he just got back from the Jaffa council. I think he's a bit depressed at all the infighting. Now that the Goa'uld are pretty much wiped out the Jaffa are starting to turn on each other."
"Typical of freedom movements. They're so used to fighting that once their enemy is gone they look to find someone else to hate."
"Mmm hmm. I guess."
"Okay Daniel – something's up so spill. You didn't call just to chat and I'm in the middle of doing a budget report."
"Really? You?"
"Yes, me. I do have some responsibilities you know."
"I know. I guess I just didn't picture you doing budgets and that kind of stuff."
Jack sighed and picked up his pen again. "What? Did you expect me to point my P-90 at the bureaucrats and force them to give me the money I need?"
Daniel chuckled, although it sounded forced. There was a pause on the line and Jack suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Daniel, tell me. What's wrong?"
"Uh – it's Sam", his friend said in a rush.
"Sam?" He felt his heart drop into his shoes. God, what if – "What happened? Is she okay? Is she hurt? God Daniel, what's wrong?"
The pause on the other end just about killed him. If he could have he would have reached through the phone and grabbed the other man's throat to shake the answer out of him.
"No, no. She's fine Jack. It's not that."
"Then what the hell is it?" He'd just spoken to her a few days ago – one of their rather awkward and yet special phone calls. She'd seemed fine then, if a little distracted.
"She has a boyfriend."
If Jack's heart had landed in his shoes a minute ago, it had now gotten up and run out of the room. He felt like his world had just shattered into a million pieces. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't talk.
"Jack?"
He pulled himself together as quickly as he could. He still had his pride, even if everything else had died. "Really? Good for her. I'm sure she's been lonely."
"Jack!"
"What Daniel?" he said, trying desperately to keep his voice steady and sounding as if he didn't have a care in the world.
"How can you say that? I thought – we all thought – you and Sam –"
"Me and Sam? Daniel, she and I are friends, nothing more. Like I said, I'm happy for her. I just hope he's a nice guy."
"How can you -" he obviously must have bitten his tongue because he stopped suddenly. A moment later he continued. "I just hope he's better than Shanahan."
"You don't know?" Why was he doing this to himself? Get off the phone Jack. He really needed to go crawl somewhere in a hole.
"No. I haven't met him. I don't even know his name. I just heard about it from Cassie."
"From Cassie? But she's away at college."
"I know. She called me last night in a panic. I guess she and Sam were talking when Sam dropped the bombshell. Cassie's really upset. Seemed to think like the rest of us that you and -" His voice faded out as he seemed to recognize that he'd better stop talking about it.
"I – see." He couldn't say anymore or Daniel would certainly guess. It was best to just act casual and say as little as possible and get off the phone as soon as he could.
"I – well, I guess if you're okay with it I won't worry. I just thought I should tell you."
"Yeah – thanks for thinking of me. Look, I'm sorry to cut you off but I really do have to finish this report. Take it easy Daniel."
"Yeah, okay Jack, you too."
Jack slowly put down the phone, staring at it blankly for quite a few minutes. He finally shook his head, forcing himself out of the paralyzing shock he'd been in. Why this had rocked him he didn't know. He should have expected it. It's not like he and Sam had been dating. Hell, they could barely talk to each other over the phone.
He laughed softly. Yeah – but still their calls had meant something to him. He'd been sure that they were moving ever closer to admitting their feelings and moving to a whole new relationship. He'd figured that those calls were their way of discovering new things about one another – things that weren't about Colonel or General O'Neill or about Captain/Major/Colonel Carter. He was getting to know 'Sam' and he'd been opening up to her as 'Jack'. He'd been so sure – and it was now clear he'd been so wrong.
He stood up and put the papers in his desk drawer and locked it. The appropriations committee could go to hell. There was no way he could work on budget figures. Now he had to get out of here. He had to go somewhere and – and what? He couldn't go to a bar and get drunk, not in his position. All he needed was some reporter to be hanging around and next thing he'd know he would be in the middle of a scandal. 'Head of Homeworld Security seen falling down drunk in local bar." He could go home – although he really didn't think of it as 'home'. It was more just the place he slept and kept his clothes. Home was in Colorado or in Minnesota, not in some brownstone in DC.
That left his remaining choices rather slim. He could get in his car and drive to Minnesota, but he'd get in trouble when people in the Pentagon started looking for him. There'd be mass panic that he'd been kidnapped or something but when it turned out he'd gone AWOL the crap would really hit the fan.
So – no choices. He walked over to the coat rack, feeling every one of his years and even more. It reminded him briefly of Kinthia's planet. He stood looking at his coat, not even having the energy to put it on. Instead of reaching for the coat, he put his hand in his uniform pocket and pulled out a long, slender box covered in velvet. He turned it over and over in his hand until he finally took a deep breath and opened it.
Nestled inside lay a stylized heart-shaped pendant on a chain. It was made of platinum and in the middle was a perfect round sapphire, the blue twinkling in the lights of his office. It wasn't an elaborate gift but when he'd seen it he knew he wanted it for her – to tell her, without words, how he felt. He had been planning to fly to Colorado and surprise her for Valentine's Day. He'd checked with Hank to make sure that Sg1 was going to be on Earth that day.
Well, he might as well return it, he decided. That thought made him want to scream – or to destroy something. No, he thought, something was already destroyed – his heart.
He put the necklace back in the box and into his pocket and reached for his jacket. He might as well just go back to his house and get drunk there. He told his secretary he was sick and headed out. The moment he arrived at his house he threw off his jacket and lid and grabbed the nearest bottle from the small liquor cabinet. He barely noticed that he'd picked up some extra good Scotch whiskey. It didn't matter though – anything would do and he'd get drunk just as fast on this as on anything else. As long as he drank at home no one would see him and he could make a complete fool of himself as he tried to drown the pain.
Sam whistled as she organized everything. She could hardly wait. It had been a long time since she'd been on a date – since Pete in fact. She was nervous – very nervous – but she had hopes that it would go well.
She wondered what they would talk about. Work was out but what did one talk about? She thought back to Pete and realized, with a frown, that they hadn't really done that much talking. Mostly it had been him telling her how wonderful she was and how much he loved her – and him planning their wedding, the honeymoon and their whole life together.
She took another deep breath and continued to get ready. Damn but he was handsome, she thought of her date. He was so hot she worried that she'd want to fall into bed with him on the first date which was, for Sam, a complete no-no. Looks didn't mean much if the substance wasn't there. She wanted to get to know him better first and then she'd think about sex. Although it was going to be hard to resist. She would really like to sleep with him - it had been way too long.
She finally finished getting ready and walked to the front door. She was so nervous, so excited, so looking forward to going on a date and getting to know him. Damn – he was handsome!
Jack woke up – or regained consciousness was probably more accurate. He was lying half on the couch half on the floor. Unfortunately, the part on the floor was his head, which felt like someone had driven a Tel'tak straight through it. No, he decided, that was his mouth. His head felt more like that leather ball the kids on Chulak liked to kick around.
He groaned and rolled his whole body until he was on all fours on the ground. He wanted to stand, but he was pretty sure that his stomach, or at least its contents, would end up on the ground if he did so.
Once the room had stopped its swimming around he pushed himself up – first to his knees and then onto his feet. He swayed again and – immediately sprinted to the bathroom.
He almost made it – almost. Damn, another two feet and he wouldn't have to worry about cleaning up the mess. Maybe he should just leave it, he thought. It would remind him of what the rest of his life was like.
Eventually – in about ten seconds – he realized he couldn't take it and went to get the cleaning supplies. His stomach was still doing its rendition of the beer barrel polka but the nausea had receded somewhat.
After the clean up and some serious time spent on the throne he returned to the living room – the scene of the crime. The place was a mess with bottles and glassed thrown everywhere. There was even a bottle of soya sauce on the table. He moved it quickly as the smell made him want to vomit again. A small part of his brain tried to figure out what the hell Soya Sauce was doing there. In the end he figured he really didn't want to know. Maybe that's why he felt so miserable.
He knew that getting drunk hadn't solved anything. In fact, he felt worse this morning than he had last night. Still, at the time it had felt good to forget, if even for a few brief moments. He glanced up to see the calendar hanging on the wall and snorted when he realized what day it was. Valentine's Day. Well, if that wasn't a farce!
He managed to fall back asleep and this time it was late afternoon by the time he woke up. He felt somewhat better physically but much worse in all other ways. He had no idea what the meaning of life was for him now. So yeah, he'd saved the world a few times (with his team), but he didn't have anything to show for that except a few medals. He had friends, but no family, no one to pass on the O'Neill legacy. He sat down and felt very sorry for himself.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but he eventually realized that he smelled horrible. He then glanced around and again noticed the mess. He slowly and carefully stood up and began to tidy up. It was almost an hour before things were done and it was only then that Jack turned and headed towards his bathroom. He quickly removed his clothes and was soon scrubbing himself under a hot shower.
By the time he got out he was clean and tidy but he still felt pretty lousy. He dressed in some casual clothes and decided to head back downstairs and check out the TV. Maybe it would get his mind off the fact that his chance with Sam was gone.
He was sitting staring at the TV screen – it was some program about a family with way too many kids, who all looked rather plastic and refused to think of anything. All he knew was that his house was clean and so was he and Sam was dating someone. Those three thoughts kept chasing themselves through his mind.
The doorbell sounded right in between the clean house and Sam. He looked at the clock in surprise. Who would be coming to his house at this time of the evening? It must be a mistake.
When the doorbell rang again he made his way over to answer it. He didn't bother to see who it was, figuring that if it was a murderer he would be totally okay with going.
There was a few second delay between the time he opened the door and the realization that she was standing there.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked sweetly. She looked different than usual. She had a long white coat buttoned right up to the neck and her hair was done in some kind of fancy style, which he'd never be able to describe, but that looked breathtaking.
"Jack?"
"Huh? Oh, sorry." He held the door open and ushered her in. "Whatcha" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "Whatcha doing here?" he asked. God, she was so gorgeous – and dressed up like she was going out. He frowned, trying to figure out what was going on.
"What am I doing here?" she asked laughingly. She looked happy but Jack, who had known her for a long time, knew that there was quite a bit of fear and apprehension in her voice. "It's Valentine's Day", she told him, as if that explained everything.
And maybe it did. He finally had the courage to look at her and was – blown away – by what he saw. The love and desire were clearly written all over her face and he was just beginning to realize that they were focused on him.
"Yes, it's Valentine's but that still doesn't -"
Sam reached out with her finger and put it over his mouth. "Shhh." She gave him a small smile and then took his hand and led him to the couch. She immediately had him sit and sat closely beside him. "Of course it does", she murmured. "Where else would I be on February 14 except with the man I love. I was waiting for you to ask me, but then I realized it's hard for you in your position so instead I came to you."
She watched him closely and he could see the moment she grew puzzled, realizing that something was wrong. "What is it Jack? You look – pale. Oh god", she held her hand up to her mouth "did I make a mistake? Did you not mean – not want me -"
This time he held out his finger and stopped her from speaking. "Of course I wanted this. I just – Daniel called."
The seeming non-sequitur threw her for a moment. "He did?"
"I was going to go to Colorado to see you", he replied, again seeming to flip topics. "I had everything planned but -"
"- Daniel called."
"Yes. He – told me you were dating someone."
"What?" she regarded him in confusion. "I was dating someone? Who in the world would tell him that? I certainly didn't."
"Cassie."
"What?" she said again, even more confused. "Cassie? But how would she even know? She's away at college."
"According to her you called and told her about your date with some hot, sexy guy."
She continued to stare at him, wondering what in the hell he'd been smoking – or Cassie for that matter. Suddenly however she knew what had happened. Her eyes grew big – bigger – and she abruptly started to laugh.
"Oh God", she gasped. "She – oh no. And Daniel told – how could he!"
It was only once she was done laughing that she noticed Jack's face. Instead of enjoying the joke with her he looked – stricken. She frowned and looked closely at him and knew that he was hurting – that he had been hurt. Her amusement quickly turned to anger at Daniel, who should know better by now and to Cassie. What the hell were they thinking?
"I called her to ask her advice on my hair", she told him softly. "I guess I did tell her I had a date but not who with. Somehow I wanted to keep it quiet for a little while. I – she jumped to conclusions."
"You weren't dating someone?" He could feel the relief seep into him.
"No – not then. I kind of hoped I would be tonight though", she told him. "I – flew out here because I thought maybe -"
"Maybe?"
"That you'd be my valentine."
He really wished Doc Frasier was alive right now so he could ask her if uncontrollable joy was dangerous. How could the day have started so badly and ended like this?
She watched as his bleak expression turned to one of complete happiness. Before she knew what was happening, he'd reached out and pulled her to him.
She stood cuddled up to him, her head in the crook of his neck. He didn't do anything – just held her – but for now it was enough.
"I'd like that", he whispered.
"Like -", she'd completely lost her train of thought.
He leaned his head back a bit and looked at her. "To be your valentine, but only if you'll be mine?"
She gave him a knowing smile and nodded. "Yes, I'd love to be your valentine. I was kind of hoping you'd ask me."
"Good – just wait here." He moved away from her abruptly and fled up the stairs towards his bedroom. He was down in a flash, a velvet box in his hand.
"Will you be my valentine?" he asked gently, holding out the box.
She peered at him silently and then took the box. She opened it and gasped – the necklace within was simple, yet beautiful. What really got her was the fact that it was a heart – and clearly told of his feelings. She touched it gently, reverently, knowing it signified his love. She looked up then, as one lone tear made its way down her face. "Thank you", she whispered. "Will you put it on?"
"Well, I don't think it's quite my color, but if you -"
She swatted him and giggled. Leave it to Jack to diffuse an emotional scene with some humor. "On me silly!"
He lifted it out of its box. "I'm a General", he informed her. "We aren't allowed to be silly."
She snorted but then reached up and touched the necklace with her fingers. "Thank you", she said again.
"So? You haven't answered my question."
"Your – oh! Of course I'll be your valentine. That's why I'm here."
"Yup – best valentine's present ever. Oh, and by the way - I'm keeping my present."
She smiled slowly, her eyes twinkling. "Good. So am I."
With that he reached out and again pulled her to him. He looked deeply into her eyes and lowered his head. As his lips touched hers he whispered – "so, what are we doing for Easter?"