read and review, s'il tu plait! (plz) title translation: Your brother, always.
Sirius,
I'm not certain this letter will ever sit in your hand. It's a nice thought for me, as if I am seeing you in my own way. Next to you, again. By the time you may or may not receive this, I will surely be dead. For that, I am not sorry. There are so many other things more important for me to regret than my inevitable death. All of the horrible things I said to you in school, as I made your bravery and defiance against Mother seem like a horrible unholy thing. It wasn't, Sirius. It was brave, and I always admired you for that, even when I was being a prat and letting my self be cowardly manipulated by Mother and Father.
I truly wish I'd done as you did. Say when enough was enough. Maybe then I wouldn't bare this ugly, awful scorn upon the skin of my wrist, branding my youth with blood and showing clearly my naive idiocy of making the foolish choice of allowing myself to be initiated into such his forces, far worse than any death I can imagine. Even the one I now face. Maybe I wouldn't be awaiting to float across this evil sea to my impending doom. Maybe then I wouldn't have this morbid knowledge in my mind, this obvious certainty that soon, I will be no more. I feel like such a demonic fool Sirius, I know you think the same of me. For stupidly allowing this fate for myself. I should have listened to you, I'm sorry I didn't. I'm sorry I shoved away your words with anger and disgust, when they were the only honest kind words I ever received in my life. I'm sorry I did all those horrible things to you. I'm sorry I wasn't the brother you deserved. You deserved so much better than I, and I deserve so much less than what you blessed me with. I have such an idolized big brother, my best friend, till the end. Till now. You always watched out for me, and always cared even when I deserved none of it. All of those things I was never brave enough tell you, so many thing I'd done to hurt you, so many sins in my life, now, I intend to set them right. I will make my life mean something to the world.
I hope someday you'll forgive me. I love you, Sirius.
Your brother, toujours.
Regulus
title means your brother always.