Author's note: This is kind of a follow-up to my one-shot, Diana the Huntress but you don't need to read it to understand this story due to the fact that this is set a few months before it. It is musical-based with references to other incarnations.
And to the people who have been waiting for this, sorry for the delay. I discovered Billy Green(if you've never watched them, go onto youtube after you read this. Wes Taylor is hilarious), I listened to an audio of Krysta Rodriguez as Wendla in Spring Awakening(pretty traumatizing), and I learned that my boyfriend of six months had never seen either of the Addams Family movies so I had to watch them with him. Not to mention the fact that I'm currently taking eight classes in school(the normal amount is six). But anyways, without anymore excuses, here is the story of how Wednesday Friday Addams got an iPhone.
I own absolutely nothing. If I did, there would have been an actual third movie made before Raul Julia passed away(RIP) and the atrocity known as The Addams Family Reunion would not exist(and I'm saying this because I just found my VHS of the movie and wanted to chuck it out the window five minutes in).
She listened for every sound in the house and before determining that aside from Lurch in the kitchen, and Grandma sleeping in the attic, Wednesday was home alone with her father.
This was an incredibly rare occurrence as none of the Addams got out much so they were almost always home. But today, Morticia, Pugsley and Uncle Fester had gone to a funeral across the city(none of them had known the person who had died, but they thought it would be a depressing experience). Wednesday and Gomez had been invited along as well but both had planned other things for the smoggy Saturday. Or rather, Gomez had planned on repairing some of the exploded parts of his extremely elaborate train set and Wednesday had come up with a nonsense story to also stay home.
Her plan had worked out perfectly. Now all she had to do was go up to her father's playroom, and say to him, "Father, I want an iPhone." No that wouldn't work. There was no way he would ever buy her something like that. It took weeks of nonstop begging to get him to buy her a car that wasn't from the 30s(hers was from the 50s). To just out right ask him to buy her not only a cell phone, but the cell phone that every teenager in America either had or wanted, would never work. Addamses don't conform. If they did, they wouldn't be living in a creepy mansion in the middle of Central Park.
But Wednesday didn't intend to conform. She simply wanted a phone that could play Beethoven and look up torture techniques on the internet at the same time. Hopefully her father would see it as she did.
She found Gomez nailing a new bridge into place on his train set. He heard her step on a creaky board and turned around to her. His face was as bright as a child's on Christmas morning. Which meant only one thing, he was about to destroy everything he built.
"Paloma! You're just in time to give me a second opinion on this bridge." Wednesday obediently walked over to where her father was standing and looked at the bridge. To the normal eye, the bridge was absolutely perfect. So to the Addams eye, it was anything but.
"It seems awfully stable." Wednesday concluded. Gomez nodded.
"I couldn't agree more. But I don't want it to collapse as soon as the train goes over." He explained. Wednesday nodded in understanding. She reached over to her father's tools and grabbed a hammer.
"May I?" She asked. He nodded. Wednesday looked very closely at the bridge's support before lightly tapping a certain tiny board until it broke. She did the same to another, only this time, leaving it slightly intact. "That should work." She stated and set the hammer down.
Trusting his daughter's judgment, Gomez began setting two of his custom-made trains onto different parts of the set. Wednesday hoped it would work. Her plan would work even better if Gomez was in a good mood.
"Would you like to do the honors?" Gomez asked as he stepped aside so Wednesday could get to the controls.
"No. You can do it." Wednesday refused. The only thing Gomez loved more than building the treacherous tracks, was operating the trains, so he didn't fight her. Instead he grabbed his conductor hat from its usual place and put it on.
"Are you ready?" Gomez asked his daughter with great enthusiasm, his hand on the power button.
"Yes." Wednesday said after taking a step back from the set in case one of the trains flew off the tracks(something that was a very frequent occurrence). Gomez pressed the start button and both trains roared to life. Both spewed an incredible amount of smoke as they slowly gained speed.
"What do you think, Wednesday, should I let them go at the bridge at this pace or should I use the diesel?" Gomez yelled over the noise of the trains.
"Diesel!" Wednesday replied to him at a matching volume. Gomez hit the correct control and the trains began going faster than ever. The play room was full of enough noxious smoke to knock out or even kill an average person within a few minutes and the entire Addams mansion was shaking. The first train then went over the bridge. It managed to just make it over before the thing collapsed, so the second crashed into the faux river.
"Wednesday, the tunnel!" Gomez yelled and Wednesday ran over to the opposite side of the train set from Gomez. The first continued to roar around the track. Wednesday then grabbed what looked like a mini dynamite detonator.
"Ready?" Gomez yelled as the train rounded another bend and headed straight for the tunnel that went through the miniature mountain."Ready!" Wednesday replied. As soon as the train entered the tunnel, Wednesday pushed down on the plunger of the detonator. A series of explosions shook the room. The fake mountain was almost completely obliterated and the train caught on fire. The house was completely silent. That is, until Gomez exclaimed,
"That was the most horrific train wreck in years!" Wednesday nodded in agreement, but truthfully she found the whole thing to be rather childish. Gomez didn't regard her lack of enthusiasm to be anything but typical Wednesday, so instead he took two cigars out of his pocket and lit one. He held the other out to his seventeen year old daughter. Wednesday reluctantly took it. Unlike her father and brother who could chain-smoke the things, Wednesday almost never smoked. But she wanted to get on Gomez's good side, so she let him light it and took a big drag.
"So how's that boy you've been seeing?" Gomez asked in an effort to make conversation. Wednesday exhaled the smoke.
"Henry?" She asked and Gomez nodded. "I honestly don't know." Gomez looked at her with confusion. "He kind of…disappeared." she added and took another drag off the cigar. Gomez raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Would you care to elaborate?" He asked. He wondered why they hadn't worked out. In his eyes, they were the perfect match. Wednesday had met Henry while she was picking up her home school books a few weeks before. He was tall, gangly, had greasy, mousey brown hair and a look in his eye that screamed 'future serial killer'. And according to Wednesday, he had a part-time job as a taxidermist assistant. He was an absolute perfect match for an Addams. Maybe even a little bit better than the boy she dated in 7th grade.
"Not really." Just thinking about Henry made her want to go kill something. Namely him. She took a final big drag off her cigar before putting it out in the nearest ash tray. Talking about her ex any more was only going to lead to her storming out of the house and going on a one-woman manhunt for the bastard, so she figured now would be a good time to finally do what she had planned all along.
"Uh, Daddy?" Wednesday got her father's attention cautiously while he carefully inspected the train set. "So I'm seventeen years old now." She stated. Gomez cringed at her age but nodded. "And I know that by Addams tradition I'm still technically a child." Gomez seemed more happy about this. "But don't you think I deserve a few more privileges?"
"Wednesday, what don't we let you do?" He asked. She took a deep breath. This was it. She just had to say it.
"Well, I was thinking that I could possibly get a cell phone?" Gomez's cigar actually dropped out of his mouth.
"A what?" he asked in disbelief. Wednesday flinched.
"A cell phone, Dad." She repeated. Gomez felt like he was going to be sick. How could his little girl want something so awful? He knew that if his wife were here she'd probably faint. He had to do something about this before she got home.
"Absolutely not." he said and picked up the cigar off the floor.
"Dad, it's really not an unreasonable request. Lurch has a cell phone!" to prove her point, Lurch was standing just outside the door and grumbling into a black brick phone that belonged in the 80s while dusting an end table that held a bouquet of rose stems.
"Lurch uses it for work. Besides, who would you possibly need to contact that don't live here?" Wednesday didn't exactly get out much, and even when she did, she never really socialized. Morticia claimed it was due her being traumatized at that awful summer camp, Chippewa. He would never forgive himself for sending her there.
"Nobody. But let's just hypothetically say that I went hunting one day and through some freak series of events, my crossbow malfunctions and I get an arrow straight through my eye. How are any of you to find me before I bleed out through my eye that now looks like a squished grape?" Gomez rubbed his forehead and sighed. If Morticia were there, this argument would have been ended long ago with a firm, 'No'.
"Wednesday, we've been over this before. If that happens, just scream at the top of your lungs and one of us will find you." he reassured her.
"The arrow knocked me out and I bleed out while unconscious." Wednesday added to her horrific hypothetical situation.
"Then you would die. Even IF you had a cell phone." Gomez stated truthfully. Wednesday sighed. She swore she wouldn't swoop this low.
"Daddy, this means so much to me. And it may help me get over the horrifying things I had to endure at the hands of Gary and Becky Granger." She hit a nerve. "Please Daddy. I'm your only daughter and I have been suffering for five years. They made me watch DISNEY movies." She then forced a single tear to roll down her cheek.
"OK! I'll get it for you just stop crying!" Gomez caved. He couldn't stand his little ball of darkness being so sad. Especially when he could do something about it.
"Can we go buy it now?" Wednesday asked while keeping up the depressed facade.
"Go put on a jacket." Gomez said. Wednesday nodded and left her father in the playroom. Lurch was waiting for her at the staircase.
"Uhhhhhhh?" He asked her.
"Hook, line, and sinker." She replied with a smirk.
Good? bad? Leave a review either way. This has an epilogue so stay tuned!
And to clear some things up, this is about three months before Diana the Huntress and a year before the musical. Wednesday's ex-boyfriend is a reference to Gomez telling Mal that the last boy Wednesday dated "just disappeared" in the musical(and he is named after someone I WISH would disappear).