Decline
Summary (PG version): "If I ever end up like Robin, do me a favor okay? Shoot me."
Warnings: Character death, buckets of angst and anger.
Pairings: Rob/Star, Star/OC, BB/OC, Rae/Cy (Eventually)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, which is probably good for their health, in this case.
Author's Note: Robin's obsession with Slade spawned this piece. I wrote this story starting with the idea: What if he reached that same level of obsession with every villain he faced? The answer that I came up was a not a happy one. You have been warned.
He is falling down the slippery slope into the abyss. Over time, it becomes clearer and clearer that this is indeed what is happening. Even Robin himself recognizes it. It's not too late yet to stop this, to end his obsession before it ends him.
Robin doesn't like to think about it. It's painful. When he does think about it, he's usually past the point of exhaustion and in no state to make a clear judgment about it anyways. He wouldn't think about it then, but he can't help it. Totally exhausted, he cannot maintain the carefully erected barriers around such thoughts.
When Raven thinks about it, this compulsion of Robin's, it frightens her, because she knows him so well. Too well, for her liking. The bond they share means she understands him better than anyone else. Better even than Starfire, who loves Robin but has no frame of reference to truly understand this aspect of him. Raven knows and understands the darkness and guilt he feels always, because she feels it too. She's always felt it. She worries, sometimes, that their connection is too strong, too established, that his life is projecting on hers and she will someday be consumed by her demons as she watches Robin slowly succumbing to his own. She understands his obsession, but can't explain it to anyone else, because she understands it through feelings and not words. Still, this insight doesn't change the fact that she knows the obsession is unhealthy.
Starfire is frightened too, if for different reasons than Raven. Starfire sees the man she loves disappearing before her eyes. She sees him being consumed by his need to eliminate all evil in the world. She tried once, to gently tell him it was a fool's errand. She knows there is and will always be evil. But Robin rejected this theory, and pushed her away. He yelled at her that day, hurtful things she knows he can't have meant. But they hurt still.
Beast Boy is quieter now. Robin's obsession has reached such levels that even the rambunctious prankster of the group is subdued by worry. Beast Boy can feel the wrongness that hangs in the Tower now, that has been hanging and refuses to be dispelled. He notices changes in the others too. They are all of them more withdrawn, in response to their leader's mood. Not intentionally and not by a lot, but enough to be worrying. Sometimes the green Titan thinks he can see madness waiting, lurking just out of sight. Sometimes he thinks Robin has already gone mad.
Robin's behavior worries Cyborg. Robin withdraws more and more, leaving Cyborg the defacto leader. It's hard, much more difficult than he imagined. Especially with Robin the way he is now: unpredictable. For the most part he lets Cyborg be in charge, but occasionally overrules him for no apparent reason. Though he knows it is unfair to think so, sometimes Cyborg thinks Robin is doing it on purpose, just to show he's still the boss. What is more worrying is that he cannot draw Robin out. Robin leads the missions, but back at the Tower, he will not lead. He spends most of his time in his room or training, endless training. Sometimes he comes up with new training routines for the team, which Cyborg, has to admit, are usually pretty good. But it's obvious to everyone that Robin is no longer the sole leader of the team, and the dual leadership is hurting everyone.
Still, they stumble along, and the team more or less holds together.
Hope you enjoyed this. There are more chapters to come.
~OSuzanne