It is a rare treat whenever we go to the beach. We are breaking nearly five rules in the process, but my mother insists that this is a good enough reason to go.
Tomorrow is the day for my aptitude test.
The waves crash against the shoreline, forming bubbles of foam along the side of my feet. I wriggle my toes in the sand, enjoying the feel of soft sand and the gentle tug of the waves as they continuously form and fall. The aptitude test should make me worried, but I'm not. The only feeling I have is the feeling of regret. I am the only family my mother has left, besides her sister, and to leave her would be like kicking her in the stomach. She can feel it, too, I know she can. My behavior ever since I was little did not describe the Abnegation faction. I am too rash, too outspoken. I think that's why she brought me out here today. She wanted to spend as much time as she can with me before I go. Her voice echoes throughout the area, sounding pure and beautiful like birds singing a melody. "Daniel, don't go out too far! Your sunscreen will come off!" It is a huge risk that I have my shirt off in the first place, considering that I am as pale as pale can get. I have many nicknames that I am aware of, some of which are Whitey, the Albino kid, and Powder. I have this skin pigment from my father's side of the family. The only part of my body that seems somewhat normal at the moment is my legs and feet, most likely because the sunscreen already rubbed off from the waves blowing past them.
The water is up to my knees before I respond. "Alright, mom!" My voice, ever since I can remember, sounds bored and grainy. Neither of my parents have either of those attributes, so it is a mystery of how I obtained that certain characteristic.
The sun is dropping. Noting its position, it looks to be about three o' clock. My mother's voice calls my name once more, only this time it is time to leave. I take one last look of the scenery before I leave this life forever. The sun casts a sparkle in the water, making the ocean seem more beautiful than I could describe in words. It takes every ounce of willpower to turn my head and walk back toward my mother, who is smiling at me. She beckons with her hands, urging me to walk faster, so I do.
Any normal sixteen year old kid would be nervous to the bone, limbs shaking and tears at the ready. I am, however, more excited than nervous. I've been thinking about which faction I want to go to since I was fourteen. Needless to say, I had ample time to think about it, and as of last year, my thoughts revolve around the Dauntless. I often catch myself glancing and staring in their direction whenever they jump on and off their train, almost in envy.
We walk a slow pace. Neither of us are too eager to get back to our house, especially since our time is so limited. The silence is awkward and welcoming. I don't want to talk about tomorrow, and I'm sure she doesn't, either. Suddenly, I feel arms being wrapped around me suddenly, and I instinctively wrap my own around her in return. She sobs into my chest, and for a moment I think that leaving will be a bad decision. She pulls her head back to look at me in my eyes. "No matter what," she says, "choose what will make you happy. Don't worry about me." She sniffs. "I still have your aunt, you know." A weak smile forms on her lips. I smile back at her. My mother, always so selfless.
Something that I can never be.
The trek back is quiet. Since my mother and I are barely noticed in the faction, we slip back into our house without a problem. Nobody questions where we were because nobody cares enough to. She says it's better for me if we lay low, since my behavior is far different than any ordinary Abnegation. Always thinking about me first and her second. She truly is a selfless woman. I envy her for that, too.
-
The cafeteria is filled with students in my class. The table I am sitting at is filled with my peers from the Abnegation faction, some anxious and some excited. We all look uniform and plain, with our hairstyles the same and our clothing the same shade of grey. Across the room, Dauntless students hoot and holler at each other, taking no heed at the stares being given. The room is filled with an eerie nervousness, the same kind during an important exam or test except multiplied tenfold. Thankfully, with my pale face, I look expressionless and bored. Perfect.
My group is called first. 'Thank God,' I think. 'Better to have it over with.' I hear laughs behind me as I stand. Names fill the air, all nasty. Ignoring the lot of them, I walk toward the exit, taking my time. Before I enter the door, however, I turn and promptly fly them the bird before exiting, hearing laughs and gasps echo behind me. I smile a little.
My smile immediately turns into a frown when I walk into my cubical. An Erudite man waits for me to get seated. Without batting an eye I sit and make myself comfortable. I can feel his glare piercing through me, but I am too determined to care. The room around me is simple, with mirrors covering all sides of the walls perfectly. Seeing myself in a mirror is rare. My faction does not allow us to see ourselves, and we never complain. I find it unfair, however, that we must all look the same. There's a reason the other factions call our people Stiff's.
The man introduces himself as Ray. To be respectful, I nod my head, acknowledging him, only to have a wire attached to my neck in return. 'The chair is comfortable, at least,' I think before having a cup full of clear liquid shoved at me. With a blank stare, I look at him, catching him put a wire to his neck as well. "Drink," he commands without batting an eye. Without arguing, I chug the vile liquid with a grimace. My eyes close shortly after.
I find myself standing in the Abnegation streets. Nothing living can be seen for miles. In front of me lay a loaf of bread and a butcher's knife. Better to be safe than sorry, my fingers grasp the handle of the knife, twisting it in my fingers. I turn around, only to find a rabid dog growl a greeting. "Nice puppy.." I say, my voice faltering. Surely it can smell my nervousness. Any animal can. I grip the knife tighter, holding it out. 'What the hell would that piece of bread do?' I instantly wonder, my thoughts going astray. 'It would eat it for a second before turning its' attention back to me. Useless.' The beast lunged, foam escaping its mouth as it snarled. The knife in my hand instantly went up, piercing the dog through the chest. Lifeless eyes almost two inches away from my face started back at me before falling to the ground in a dead heap. My breath is ragged, now, coming out almost manually. Almost instantly, the scenery drops through the floor and I end up standing on a bridge, water hitting the side of my face. It is raining. I hear yells and screams in the distance. A faint glow can be seen through the darkness, showing people with knives and weapons running toward him. 'Oh, crap,' I barely managed to think before I turn and bolt, running toward the middle of the bridge. As I get closer, I see that the middle of the bridge is broken, leaving a massive hole. I look over my shoulder and see the group coming closer, the voices getting louder now. Without a second thought, my eyes close and I jump, swan diving into the rapids below.
My gasps fill the silence as I awake. I choke and cough, like water is filling my lungs. 'It was only a test,' I say, clearing my head. My head swivels over my shoulder to watch Ray take the wire off his head, nodding his assent. "You're definitely Dauntless."
-
The house is surprisingly active when I arrive. My aunt can be seen, sitting at the dinner table conversing with my mother. I say my hello's and walk upstairs, obviously trying to avoid conversation. I just need time to think. I think they knew, because neither of them stopped me to ask how it went.
I want Dauntless. I chose each option that represented Dauntless; the knife, killing the dog, jumping off a bridge. Those are things that Dauntless people do. Of course I got Dauntless. Now that the test is over, I wonder what I would get if I didn't only go for Dauntless. A pang of guilt sinks into my stomach, realizing now that I didn't give any of the other factions a chance. Would I have killed the dog in real time? Would I have jumped off the bridge? Maybe I belong in Amity, or Abnegation like my mother.
Now I'll never know.
The feeling stays with me all through supper. My aunt stayed over to celebrate my last meal as student. After the ceremony, regardless of which faction I pick, I will be an initiate until I pass a test. Then I will become a member. The topic of factions didn't get brought up at all the night, though. It felt normal – me staying quiet whilst the two women conversed freely, only speaking when I am spoken to. Such is the culture of Abnegation. We believe that it is best to listen than to make ourselves known. I just ate my food in relative silence, only half listening to the two women talking.
-
The day finally arrived. The nerves start to get to me now, almost gnawing at my insides, making me sick to my stomach. The Choosing Ceremony is a huge deal, and the fact that I have to choose my faction finally kicks in halfway up the elevator. No, I don't just have to choose my faction. I have to choose my life. The elevator doors open.
It's time.
My mother walks out first, waiting for the group of people in front of me to leave before we walked, our arms locked. I smile at her and she smiles back. With a push, she ushers me into the room where a stage waits the lucky sixteen year olds who will get to choose their factions. Groups of each faction are constructed until everyone who will be participating in the Choosing Ceremony is present.
We arrange ourselves in alphabetical order. I am standing between a Erudite who won't stop scowling at me and a Dauntless boy who keeps pointing out my paleness. Of course, with me being the short, pale kid, I am easy prey, so I just ignore the both of them and focus on what's ahead of me.
The Ceremony is starting.
A man comes out to the podium. Since the ceremony is taking place in the Erudite faction this year, it's only natural for him to be wearing a Erudite robe and glasses on the tip of his nose. The speech barely comes through to me. All I can think about, all I can see, are those bowls at the center of the stage, staring me down. Smoke rises from the Dauntless bowl, where smoldering rocks await my blood like crazy, ravenous vampires. I gulp.
The sight of an Erudite boy walking to the bowl snaps me out of my train of thought. Gritting his teeth, he slices the knife handed to him into his palm before holding it out over his factions bowl: He chose Amity. There is silence as his old faction stares him down, but applause from Amity. The boy gave a wry smile as he sat down with his new home before another sixteen year old took his place. Of course, since my last name starts with an 'S', I'm nearly last on the list.
Now we play the waiting game.
One by one, boys and girls go to the center of the stage and slice their hand open. Choice of faction differs for each; not too many for Dauntless, besides Dauntless born initiates, and even then, some Dauntless seek refuge from Amity or Erudite. The Dauntless boy to my right kept fidgeting, obviously nervous about his decision. Thanks to my skin tone already being pale, no one can tell that I'm nervous, aside from my sweaty palms. I wipe them on my standard, gray, Abnegation shirt.
The Erudite boy next to me stood and walked forward. His expression is that of everybody else's: pure terror. He slices his hand with force, probably more than he should have, and holds it over his choice. Erudite. Applause. Silence.
My name.
I stand and walk forward. Every eye in the room burns me, and I feel my face grow hot. The knife feels cool in my hands, my fingers fondling the wooden handle for a moment before it makes contact with my palm. My facial expression barely changes. On the outside, I may seem cool and collected, but on the inside, I'm nearly pissing myself. I set the knife down and cup the blood against my palm, creating a pool. I can hear the Dauntless bowl call my name, my gaze immediately setting on it. Without hesitation, I reach over to the bowl and let the blood spill inside. Sizzling welcomes me.
- Well, there's the first chapter. I REALLY want to make it longer, but it seemed perfect to end it here, mainly to make sure that I'm not wasting my time writing this for nothing. This is actually my first time writing in First Person PoV, so tell me if I made any mistakes or what I can improve on. I might revise this a little later, but I really wanted to throw this out there. I am, also, taking As always, please review and favorite. It really means a lot to me if you do.