Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters.
A/N: A little Quinn/Rachel angst. Told from Rachel's POV.
Write again soon, please read and review :)
Cheater
TheSilentPen
'I love you, but I also love him… if he were to ask me out, I don't know who I'd choose.'
The note makes your blood boil with untold rage. Makes you feel as though someone's stabbed you in the back and twisted it straight into your heart.
If she loved you, wanted to keep you… Claimed that she would never leave you so many times… prevented you, even before you were together, from saying yes to a person you truly would have been happy with. Why would she do this to you? Why would you suddenly become a choice?
It makes you mad that she made you refuse offers, the only offers that you would have gotten for a long time. Once again, because of her.
Because before you two were together, at the wave of her hand, you could be humiliated. Dripping with ice cold corn syrup before everyone the crowd or have cheap pornographic depictions of your body splayed across some wall.
But then she wanted you, and she made your life an even greater Hell when you refused her for all her cruelty and possessiveness.
Everyday, you would walk out and the jocks would grab you onto their shoulders and throw you into the dumpster. When you crawled out, there always seemed to be an extra person waiting outside for you, just to throw you back in.
And at the end of the day, she would look at you, smirking and asking simply:
"Give up and be mine, Berry?"
And you would spit on her whitewashed shoes and glare into pretty hazel eyes with something that said 'never.'
And she would lean against the side of your locker, press you against it, want burning dangerously in those primal greenish browns. "I'm Quinn Fabray, Berry… and what I want I will get."
And apparently, you were what she wanted most.
Everyday, it gets a bit harder to tolerate the treatment she's inflicting on you. You feel yourself lose a bit more of yourself everyday. She's chipping away at your self-esteem and your usual vigor.
Slushies you can take, but she's turned your friends against you now. Threatened them with possible slushy showers and fist beatings from the hockey team.
Now you seem to be the person they all avoid.
Avoid because of Quinn Fabray.
So you resist by taking the loneliness. You hide yourself away from your friends and from your pursuer. Try to keep yourself from going to Hell.
And you think you're triumphing over her. Even if you've been declared the unofficial piece of meat of Quinn Fabray, you're still very much your own self, even if you don't have anything or anyone to lean on.
But one day, as you're walking to the bathroom after the several slushy facial of the day, you can hear crying radiating from the depths of the bathroom.
You open up the door slightly, surprised at what you see.
Quinn Fabray, sitting on the dirty gray floors, face buried in her hands and delicate shoulders shaking with untold pain.
"Why Mommy… Why Daddy… Why Rachel… Why won't you love me?"
And for the first time you feel something of pity for the girl. Something other than the burning hatred that plagues you in an irritable fire every time corn syrup stains your eyes.
So you step forward and you place a gentle hand on her shoulder, causing her to stir up, hazel eyes red-rimmed and swimming with tears.
And when she grabs onto you, burying her face into your argyle sweater, you pay no heed to the fact that it is indeed your tormenter, Quinn Fabray, that's grasping you so desperately.
You simply pay heed to the fact that there's someone who needs you.
Someone who's hurting as much as you are.
And gradually, you two became friends. Spending a little more time together, smiling at each other a little more often.
And eventually it evolves into a new type of burning. A timid flame.
And you know that you like her.
So when you finally accept her proposal to go on a date, she smiles and kisses you for the first time.
And nothing seemed better.
You two are very happy for a long while.
Always smiling, always spending time together, always laughing.
But it only lasts a year before things go sour.
You hold Finn's hand a bit too long during a choreographed solo. You talk to Mike in the hallways a little too long.
You never have time for Quinn anymore.
At least, that's what Quinn claims and yells and argues with you about daily.
And even though you protest and attempt to explain, she won't hear it. She won't let you get a single word in. And it seems she'd much rather be suspicious of you than trust you as you trust her.
But even if you never speak to Finn much, or you leave Mike Chang hanging whenever he tries to talk to you, or you spend a little less time on work to spend extra time with Quinn…
She's never satisfied.
So on your monthly anniversary (which Quinn insists you spend together every month) you get out of work early to surprise her at her house, flowers in hand and smile on your face.
But when you enter her house and there's an unfamiliar blue SUV parked out front, the smile drops from your face.
And you try to find some excuse as to why it's there… something to defend the one that you love.
And there's nothing.
You creep up the stairs slowly, barefooted against the pristine white carpet that you have found your way up oh so many times, and you walk to the door of her bedroom, pausing slowly outside the door.
There's moaning and groaning and sounds that she's only made when she's with you.
But this time, your name is notably absent from her groaning.
Instead you hear her cry out something rather different:
'Oh God…Sam!'
And your heart breaks into a million pieces. And as instantly as the hurt appears, hatred quickly takes its place, rearing its ugly head.
You slam open the door, eyes ablaze as you take in the scene before you.
There they are, pale and tan skin splayed in a terrible clash, hazel and alarmed blue looking at you, eyes wide in shock.
"Rachel..." she gasps, hazels alarmed.
Your arm shakes with rage, and you observe the fact that the two of them are naked beneath the blankets… on a bed that you two tentatively made love upon the first time you gave yourself to her. And your jaw grits in agony as your chocolate eyes turn a thunderous steel brown.
"You dare to accuse me of cheating on you…" your voice is low, ferocious, and sends a surprised, pained look across Quinn's features, "when you're whoring yourself to the school's quarterback?"
"R-Rachel…" she scrambles from the bed, grabbing a sheet from it to cover her lithe, naked form, "This isn't what it-."
"You know what, Quinn Fabray," you throw the flowers to the ground, eyes wild with anger, "damn you to Hell! We're through!"
And you turn on your heel, ignoring her cries of your name, ignoring the fact that she's rushing down the stairs after you.
And you ignore her as she pounds on the window of your car and you speed off down the street, jaw set firmly in resentment.
And that's when you find the note in your locker the next morning, and you burn with rage at the fact that she seems to think that even now she still has an edge over you.
So you walk down the hall and slam your arm in her way, glaring angrily at her.
"Hey, baby," she says timidly, reaching out to embrace and kiss you.
And you shove her away in disbelief, unable to believe the fact that she believes you can just walk away from this problem as you have from all the others.
And you feel angry.
"Get your hands off me, Fabray," you hiss angrily, "I don't think you recall the fact that our relationship ended last night."
"Baby," her eyes are desperate, "I-It… w-was a mistake. I just need to figure out who I wa-."
"Who you want more?" you step forward, eyes wild with anger, "You should've thought about that and talked to me before you decided to cheat on me with the damn quarterback!"
"I was vulnerable… confused…" she bites her lip, golden eyes looking away, "And he was the only one there for me when you weren't."
"I was always there for you!" You put your hands to your face, drawing lines down your cheeks. "But I have a life I need to live! I have to do things for myself, not just you! I NEEDED to work, Quinn!"
"You never put aside ti-."
"Quinn!" you cry desperately, "I took as much time as I could. I was being docked several hours of pay to spend time with you!"
"Then you should've quit the damn job," she hissed.
And you stand there, unable to believe that you fell for the mask of kindness… of love that she put up. And you know that the woman that you loved is anything but present anymore.
She's a lie.
"Fabray, you no longer have to choose between me and your boy toy," you straighten, eyes cold, "you can have him. You and I are… HAVE been finished."
"Rachel…"
"Shut up!"
And you turn on your heel, ignoring the pain of your shattered heart and you speak unconsciously to yourself.
That was a year ago.
And now she and her boyfriend are the golden couple of the school… and you?
You're as low as ever.
But that's okay…
Because at least you're your own person. At least you have your friends back and things have become as normal as they were before she ever began to start pursuing you.
But sometimes, when you're alone in the choir room and at the piano, singing, you can feel her staring at you from the door with the same hungry gaze as ever.
But you ignore her, and the tiny twinges of hope that always start in your breast whenever you see her.
Because she played you.
And she doesn't deserve a place in your life.
