DISCLAIMER: I don't own south park or anything to do with it, and i'm sorry if Eric seems a bit out of character, its just the way i precised him morning over someone he liked so much.. yeah. soo enjoy i suppose~ :3
Taunts, Teases and Cancer
There she was.
She lay there, frail and white-skinned, her stormy gray eyes closed to the world forever, red lips a stark contrast to her chalky skin.
She had not wanted a viewing, she hadn't wanted people to see her at her weakest, she wanted people to remember her for the strong person she was. To remember her the way she was inside, the way she used to be, instead of the twig-like figure that disease had turned her into.
Instead, she had written letters to people dear to her, and hidden them away in special places in her house for them. They were to come find them immediately following her death.
He, Eric, had been one of the people called to her house that day. He had confusedly made his way to the house, thinking about what could possibly be in the letter.
He had no idea why she had called him, as they had hated each other, and were always fighting.
Eric had secretly had feelings for her, maybe even loved her, although they were only fifteen. But his feelings were ill-practiced, as he could not get within five feet of her without saying something horrendously cruel.
She, though, had clearly hated him from the bottom of her heart. She had always taken his taunts with grace, not showing that anything he said bothered her. She had never attempted any sort of physical reaction or violence; her tongue was swift and her words were as sharp as any blade.
But here he was, standing by her bed, looking at her angelic face. He couldn't stop looking at her, but even if he could have, he wouldn't. Even in death, she was so beautiful; it made him want to cry. Somehow, she seemed stronger now than she ever had during her lifetime. In a way, her death brought to home how strong she really was, not just of will, but of mind, body, and spirit.
Why had she given up her life? Why couldn't she have saved the time she had left, instead of ending it so soon?
When she had found out she was going to die, she had fought. She had done everything in her power to bring herself back t health, even when the future was evident. But when the doctors told her she only had a month left to live, and with any more time her organs could not be transferred like she wanted, she had made her decision. In order to save the lives of others who needed her organs, she had given up what little time was remaining of her life.
He remembered the day she had left, the day she had somehow made clear that she wouldn't be coming back.
All day, she had walked around the school, absorbing every detail, looking at everything like she was seeing it for the first time. She was incredibly cheerful, and made sure to compliment everyone and talk as much as possible. She volunteered for every question in all of her classes, and asked questions on everything she did not know, whether it was subject related or not. She had eaten the cafeteria food like it was a five course meal, and he had ridiculed her for even that.
LIttle did he know it was the last meal she would ever eat, the last time he would hear her voice again as she talked to him, not a yell, not even with a sharpness to her voice.
"You don't know what you have until it's gone, Eric"
Eric. She had used his first name. It was the first time in three years she had called him by his first name. Even a small thing like that should have triggered an alarm bell in his head. But, of course, it didn't. He replied without a second look back or that bat of an eye.
"And then you know you haven't got much."
She hadn't bothered to reply as he walked away, something that should have triggered another alarm bell. But his conceited self just though that he had won, and for once someone had rendered her speechless. He didn't bother to look back, to see a sad look on her face as she got up, her food not even half way eaten, and dumped it all in the garbage can.
But what told him most was what she had done at the end of the day. Just in rememberance, he touched his lips, remembering how soft hers were as they met.
She had caught him by surprise as they were leaving the school, pulling him under the eaves of the building. Then, without warning, she had kissed him. After a second she had pulled away, much to his dislike.
"Eric?" She had asked quietly.
"Eric, do you love me?"
When his stupefied brain did not answer, she took it as a no, and her eyes widened.
"I'm sorry, I just needed to make sure, before I-Goodbye Eric," she said in a rush, and ran off as fast as she could, what little color she had left rising to her cheeks.
It wasn't until later that he realized that she had died because of him.
Eric finally decided to start looking in her room, the most logical place to put anything for a person who had never been in your house before.
When he got there, Eric had no idea wee to start looking. Suddenly, a picture of him peeking behind things and calling out for the letter pushed its way into his mind. The whole thing reminded him of some sort of gruesome scavenger hunt.
On a sudden impulse, like something unseen was forcing him to, Eric started slowly walking across the room.
About halfway across, he heard a creek. He remembered hearing her talk to her friends about a loose floorboard in her room where she kept everything.
"Bingo," Eric said under his breath.
He slowly bent down and opened up the floorboard.
There, lying neatly like it had been placed there moments before, was a letter, with the name 'Eric' on it in neat print.
Dear Eric:
I'm sorry I didn't tell you this earlier, but I love you. I am writing this as I go into the surgery room, knowing my father will put it in the place I specify. I just wanted you to know that I kissed you today to see if you loved me back, but I guess you don't. You see, I would have spared you kissing me, but they found a cure. It would have taken a long time ad much pain for me to heal, but I could have done it. I was going to go ahead with my scheduled death and organ donation, but then I realized that I loved you and if you loved me to I didn't want to leave you. I am sorry that you do not love me, as anyone who's love was not returned would be, but most of all, I am sorry I did not tell you sooner. I could have found someone new to love if I was note set on clinging on to the tiny shred of hope that you may have still loved me. So, for everything, I am sorry, and maybe I shall see you again someday. I hope you find someone wonderful to love and cherish, because all I want is to see you happy, even if it is not me that makes you that way.
Love,
Shanon
When Eric read this, he felt strangely empty inside.
All those years they could have spent together, wasted away with insults and bitter memories.
And now, only when her life was cut short by a cancer she had spared us all the truth from, could they both reveal their true feelings.
"Well, she can," Eric though sadly.
"She will never know how I feel."
Eric re-read the letter several times and then proceeded to walk down the stairs. When he saw her pale face, his feeling of emptiness increased. He had done that to her.
Eric walked up to her.
"I love you," he whispered, giving her a soft kiss. "Goodbye."