It really was the picture of pure domestic bliss. Bridget was slouched on the large brown sofa, a drama series capturing her attention for the past half an hour. Next to her lay Franky, asleep. Her head was lain on a cream plump cushion, and an arm was sprawled across Bridget's lap. Bridget subconsciously stroked Franky's arm with her thumb as she lay engrossed in her TV show, the feeling of her skin a welcome, familiar comfort. Franky began to murmur softly in her sleep, as she often did as she was transgressing from a shallow slumber to a deep sleep; but the murmuring continued and she began moving in her sleep, the wrath of a nightmare invading her mind.
"No, no," she whimpered, her eyes still firmly closed. Her face became wet and Bridget could see tears falling as she dreamt about something. Bridget shook her gently, an attempt to rouse her from whatever was plaguing her sleep.
"Franky," she said gently, stroking her face. "Baby, wake up."
Franky bolted upright, her breathing heavy and her face wet. "Fuck."
"You're OK baby, it was just a nightmare," Bridget consoled, rubbing her back. Franky edged away from her partner and began to cry into the cushion she was lying on. It may have been a nightmare but the experience was real and it always came back to haunt her.
"What is it, Franky? You can tell me."
Franky sniffed and wiped her face roughly, taking a few deep breaths.
"I'm sorry," she began. "What did I do to deserve you Gidge?"
Bridget said nothing, instead squeezing Franky's knee gently. She knew Franky would talk to her in a few minutes, she just needed to gather her thoughts first.
"I keep having the same dream at least once a week," she began. "It always begins in the same way, when you came to my cell and, well you know what I did." She couldn't meet Bridget's blue eyes, the shame and regret of her attack on her lover still imprinted fresh in her mind. "But after that it always changes. This time, Juice and Macado grabbed you and beat you with snooker balls in a sock and made me watch. Fuck, I'm never going to escape that place, am i?"
"It was just a bad dream," Bridget said.
"But it wasn't was it?! It happened, and what I did to you was awful, and it's going to haunt us forever." Franky wiped her eyes as they pooled over.
"I forgave you Franky," Bridget said quietly.
"Yeah, well, you shouldn't have. I hurt you, I really hurt you."
"Yes, you did, very much so, but I know why you did. It wasn't the right thing to do, but I understand. Your anger and protective instinct kicked in, that place made you re-visit your past demons. I was angry and hurt, but I forgave you. You need to forgive yourself." Bridget spoke calmly, but her heart was racing. She had put that behind her and wanted Franky to do the same.
"I don't deserve you."
"Enough," Bridget began, but was interrupted.
"I mean, how did I even think for one second this would be the fairy tale ending I wanted it to be so badly? Look at me, Bridget."
The raven-haired woman rarely called her girlfriend by her proper name and it unsettled the other woman. She looked Franky dead in the eyes.
"I'm an ex-crim who's done 2 stretches inside. I'm from the wrong side of town, chewed up and spat out by everyone. I was dragged up by a waste of a space mother and by the local authority. I learnt how to survive the hard way. But you are everything I am not, Gidge. You're beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated, confident, nothing short of a miracle. How could you love someone like me?"
Bridget tried hard to keep the tears from falling as they gathered in her eyes. Franky had changed since her second stint inside Wentworth, her self-worth and confidence reduced to nothing but a shred of what it used to be. It pained Bridget to see her like this, this amazing, vivacious woman.
"Someone like you?" Bridget blinked several times, not wanting to cry. "Franky, you want to know what I see when I see you? You have the biggest heart full of love. I wish you could see how your eyes light up when you see little Tess, or how cherished I feel in your company. You are one of the most expressive, opinionated people I know, not to mention intelligent, both book and street-wise. You are resilient, you have ambition and you're not afraid of hard work. You are so beautiful, you have no idea what those green eyes do to me, but most of all I love how your guard has come down and you trust me."
"I feel dull next you you," Bridget continued. "Stop doubting everything in your life. You are allowed to be happy."
Franky wrapped her tattooed arms tight around her body as she sat on the sofa, suddenly feeling extremely concious.
"It's OK to feel a little lost, you've endured so much, but the self-loathing has to stop. I'm with you, I choose to be with you and I love you. Being in a relationship isn't always hearts and flowers, Franky, but sticking together when times get tough is what it's all about. I'm here, and I always will be."
Franky shuffled closer to Bridget; the blonde wrapped her arms around her lover and pulled her tightly towards her, kissing her warm forehead and smoothing the hair out of her face. Franky sunk into the crook of Bridget's neck and inhaled the sweet, safe aroma of her. She wept, part of her hating herself for becoming so emotional, but most of her happy to realise she was victim to the strongest, more uncontrollable emotion - love.