(A Ranma/Highlander Crossover)
by Jim Robert Bader
(Based on the works of Rumiko Takahashi and the concepts of the Highlander Series;
The following is a work of Fanfiction And should not be construed as Copyright violation)
Part One.
"[Nerima?]"
"[Aye, me luv,]" said the very tall ice blond woman to her dark haired companion as they rode the bullet train together, "[A very old friend O' mine lives in a Temple near th outskirts O' town and I was thinking O' droppin' in for a visit, see how he's doin' an' such. Thought it'd be a good place to stay overnight before I take ye sightseein' O' Tokyo itself. All part O' yer continuin' education.]"
Leona Dubious pouted slightly as she considered that statement. For her companion, Erin O'Shea, the term "Old Friend" usually meant someone older than Methuselah, usually another Immortal.
"[By th' way, luv,]" Erin continued, "[Ye haven't said much since we left Kyoto a while back. Are ye enjoyin' the trip so far?]"
"[Huh?]" Leona reacted, "[Oh, uh, yeah...sure, no problem.]"
Erin eyed her companion slowly, then allowed herself to lean back in her seat as she seemed to gaze off into infinity, her Celtic voice invoking the poetry of the Bards as she reflected once more on a chapter of her life with a clarity that made it sounds as though it were a few years rather than decades (or centuries) to the time upon which she reflected.
"[Oh aye, Japan has changed much from the time O' the occupation. Been here off an' on a bit since they opened the place up to the West. Lots O' good friends I've known in me time, most gone now, sadly, but the memories linger.]"
Leona rolled her eyes. This part of her mentor she was all too aware of, the fact that Erin strode down through the corridors of time with blithe disregard for the passage of the centuries, and she was trying to make Leona grasp this fact as it might one day apply to her also. Two years since discovering the little secret of her origins had not made it any easier for Leona to accept the fact that one day she too would outlive almost everyone she encountered. Compared to her and Erin the rest of the people on this train were ghosts. Once here and soon forgotten.
Well, not totally forgotten. One of the annoying facets of Immortality, she had discovered, was eidetic memory. Immortals never forgot anything, could not forget a name or face, would never know senility and would always be able to instantly recollect in detail anything that they witnessed. It was a big help around test time but it also meant that you could remember stuff you would rather not remember...
"[By the way, luv,]" Erin noted slyly, "[Think it's best if we work on your language skills from here on out. After all, you need to brush up on your Japanese a bit if you don't want to sound like a tourist.]"
"[I am a tourist,]" Leona said in annoyance but relented as she added, "[Japanese is a hard language. I keep messing it up with the tenses...]"
"[Yer no worse than I was when I first visited Nippon,]" Erin noted, "[Before Ieyasu Tokugawa an' his heirs closed the place off for tourism.]" So saying she shifted to Japanese and said, "Besides, it gets better with practice, and you'll remember the details of nuance the more you hear it spoken."
"Maybe so," Leona replied in badly accented Japanese, "Me no can stand be treated as stupid. Why it so hard every time I got learn new language? No people here speak English?"
"Actually, quite a few people do," Erin noted, "They teach language skills in High School to anyone who cares to stay awake in class. That's not the point though, you're here to learn how to move about freely among mortals like you were one of them. It's always more polite to speak the language of the people you visit rather than expect them to accommodate you, and more practical besides. You never know, some day you might even visit here on a regular basis."
"Yeah, right," Leona snorted just as they felt the train slow down as it approached the next station.
Erin got up and urged Leona to follow as they retrieved their belongings from the overhead rack. Erin clutched her ever-present walking cane in one hand and headed for the exit, Leona being shoved and bumped from all sides as she tried to wade through a sea of people, mindful that her own dark hair fit in with this crowd far better than the pale apparition who boldly strode through the mass before her.
Not long after this they were in a cab heading for an address Erin gave the driver, passing through a part of town that looked ordinary enough, just like any other big city suburb, except for the signs that were all in Japanese symbols. Leona could not make heads or tails of these up-and-down characters...kanji Erin called it, but she did know a restaurant when she saw one and felt a rumbling in her stomach. She looked hopefully at her mentor and saw Erin smile but shake her head in denial.
"We can eat when we get to the temple," Erin replied, "Holy ground's the best place for enjoying a meal."
"I no think can wait that long," Leona groaned, her stomach adding its own voice on the matter.
"You won't die from hunger, my love," Erin said indulgently, but she cast a furtive glance out the window and smiled before saying, "On second though, maybe it won't hurt to have you sample some of the local cuisine. Driver, stop here. If I guess right we're about to meet another old friend of mine, and this time he's a mortal. Should be safe enough for a bit."
"[This doesn't have anything to do with octopus or squid does it?]" Leona asked with great suspicion.
"Calimari?" Erin replied with a wide grin hinting at mischief, "Not a bad idea, but not this time. No, you're about to sample one of the great cultural delicacies of Japan. It's called okonomiyaki, the local equivalent of pizza."
Leona's eyes widened and then she grinned back for the first time since Kyoto.
Erin went in first, as usual, making waves by her very presence as there were not too many Japanese men who were as tall as she was, over six feet and highly athletic. She scanned the place with a sweeping glance before her attention became riveted on the chef behind the main counter. Leona followed her gaze and saw a young girl close to her own age with long brown hair held over her back by a large white ribbon. As they approached she saw the girl look up in surprise, followed shortly by recognition.
"Can I help-Erin?"
"Kuonji Ukyo," Erin replied as she came up to the main counter, "I thought I might see you when I read the your sign. Ucchan was the nickname your father always used to use for you. Is he around some place?"
"Not around here," the girl replied, looking Erin up and down as though unable to believe that she was real, "Wow, you haven't changed a bit! If anything you're prettier than I remember."
"The same might be said about you," Erin replied in a fond way that made Leona bristle slightly, "Only you have changed, and grown at least half a meter. The little girl playing at being a boy has turned into a fine strapping young woman. I'll bet you have to beat them off with a club."
"More like a spatula," the girl grinned, then took notice of Leona and said, "Who's your friend?"
"My student," Erin replied as she indicated Leona, "Dubois, Leona, late of Kansas City in the States. I've been taking her on a tour to see the world, and we just happened to be cruising by your place. Leona, this is the daughter of a friend of mine from about ten years back. Her name is Kuonji Ukyo, otherwise known by a few as Ucchan."
Leona frowned as she automatically remembered that that the Japanese placed their family names before their personal names, so this girl was actually Ukyo Kuonji, who she now thought looked even younger than she was (actually that was difficult to tell since Leona looked pretty much the same as she did when she was Quickened two years ago, but inside she still felt...older). She was somewhat relieved to learn that this Ukyo had been a child when Erin had last seen her, which eliminated the possibility of her being an old girlfriend, and she certainly was no Immortal. She was actually quite pretty, if somewhat masculine in her choice of dress, and her expression was certainly friendly enough. Leona began to relax somewhat as she took a seat beside Erin facing Ukyo across the counter.
"What'll it be for you and your friend?" Ukyo asked as she held up a pair of spatulas as though preparing to conduct an orchestra performance.
"Two house specials," Erin replied, "It's Leona's first time."
"In that case I'll give her one of my super-duper specials," Ukyo grinned, and then she went into action with her spatulas becoming almost invisible. Leona's eyes widened as a disk-shaped cooked wafer topped by sauces and condiments landed on her plate as if by magic. Another just like it landed on Erin's plate a half-second later.
"Splendid!" Erin complimented, "Your technique's vastly improved. I doubt your father himself could match your speed and skill, Ucchan. He must be very proud of you."
"Yeah, well..." Ukyo glanced away, "We really don't talk much these days. He helped me get this restaurant going but I run the place by myself for the most part."
Leona wondered if she were hearing things right, or why Erin was being so casual as she picked up the hot food and began eating. In curiosity Leona asked, "How old are you?"
"Old enough," Ukyo smiled, "Which means seventeen going on eighteen next month. How about yourself?"
"Ah?" Leona blinked in reply. This girl was almost exactly the same age as she was when she quickened, yet there was something about her eyes that seemed to imply a maturity beyond her years. Leona knew the feeling well enough, it was in her own reflection the last time she had looked into a mirror.
"Leona's Nineteen," Erin answered, "Graduated just last year. I used to be her teacher, but now we travel the world together as I'm sort of her legal guardian and I wanted to show her a proper education."
Leona almost choked on that. Erin's idea of a "proper education" was going from one hair-raising adventure after another, and some of the things they had survived together would have given Indiana Jones nightmares! As she thought on this she picked up her okonomiyaki and blew on it a bit before bringing it up to her mouth and taking a sample bite.
She reacted in complete surprise as the flavor hit her tongue like a mallet. She straightened up on her seat and declared, "It's good!" with much enthusiasm. She saw Ukyo flash a smile as if that were the response she had expected.
"Couldn't agree with you more, Leona-chan," Erin replied as she finished off her okonomiyaki in a few quick bites then licked her fingers, "Excellent indeed! Light and crispy on the outside but evenly cooked on the inside. On the whole I'd have to declare it the best okonomiyaki that I've ever tasted."
"And why not?" Ukyo asked as though she were about to give a trademark statement, "I make the best okonomiyaki in Japan, perhaps even the world!"
"No argument there," Erin smiled, giving the girl another lookover before adding, "And what about your personal life, Ucchan? Stopped dressing like a boy, I see. You ever catch up with that boy you were always talking about, the one who skipped out with his father and stole your Yatai?"
"As a matter of fact I..." Ukyo started to say when she caught sight of a young man entering the restaurant and smiled the more broadly, "There he is now! Hey, Ranchan!"
"Ucchan," the boy waved back as he approached, but as he did so Leona felt a momentary reaction and gave the guy a second study.
He appeared to be an ordinary Japanese boy the same age as Ukyo, and not very tall either, perhaps a few inches under six feet. He had black hair that was done up into a pig tail leading down his back but had blue eyes instead of the usual dark brown or black of most Japanese that she had encountered. He wore a red Chinese style outfit with wooden pegs in place of buttons and black pants with a pair of slippers for footwear. All of these things Leona knew at a glance, but there was something more about him... something she felt at his approach that made her really sit up and take notice.
It was a feeling similar to the one she always felt when approached by another Immortal, only very different in some way, as though he contained a power like the Quickening but was not quite the same as her or Erin. He also moved too casually with a glide to his movements that implied an easy control of his power. She knew that implied that he had training as a fighter, but what disturbed her most was that his movements were incredibly similar to those used by Erin.
The boy was looking at her with an equally casual glance that contained no malice or hostility but implied curiosity before his gaze moved on to Erin and he took full stock of the larger platinum-blond woman. Only after he'd finished a visual inspection did his gaze turn back towards Ukyo as he smiled at her in an easygoing manner.
"Your usual, Ranchan?" the girl asked, and Leona could have sworn that her Japanese was either shakier than she imagined or that she thought she could detect a note of hopefulness and longing in her voice as her eyes shone with emotion.
"Sure thing," the boy said, but not in any way that would have suggested a return of the same feelings.
"Coming right up," Ukyo replied, and like a flash she produced another okonomiyaki, which same she tossed onto the boy's plate with perfect precision.
Leona watched in amazement then played the whole thing back in her mind, all the more astounded at the speed Ukyo displayed, which Benny Hannah would have envied. Even seeing it again it left her feeling like she needed a stop-motion camera.
The boy gobbled the pizza down in record time then said, "Thanks, Ucchan, as usual you're a lifesaver."
"Akane tried cooking dinner again?" Ukyo asked as if she already knew the answer to the question.
Ranma winced, "Why can't she ever just give it a rest? She tries too hard, but when I tell her that all she does is hit me..."
"So you're Ucchan's long-lost fianc e?" Erin suddenly intruded on their conversation, a sly look in her eyes.
"Uh...yeah," the boy finally turned to her, "You guys know Ucchan?"
"I'm an old friend of the family," Erin replied, standing up to bow towards him, "Erin O'Shea, and this is my friend Leona Dubious, and yourself?"
"Saotome Ranma," he slid off his chair and bowed to them with wary caution, then saw the surprised look in Erin's eye and frowned by just a fraction.
"Saotome?" she inclined her head, "You wouldn't happen to know a Saotome Genma, would you?"
"He's my father," Ranma admitted warily, "What's he done this time? Does he owe you money? You're not by any chance another long-lost fianc e?"
"Goodness no," Erin grinned, "You're much too young for me, but Leona here's another matter."
"Hey!" Leona protested even though she knew that Erin was only kidding. She hoped.
"But," Erin continued, "I do know your father, or did quite a few years ago. You don't look much like he did when he was your age."
"I get that a lot," Ranma shrugged, "I'm told I look more like my mother..." then he stopped as he registered what she was saying, "My age? But you...?"
"Don't judge by appearances," Erin grinned, "I'm older than I look."
"Oh," surprisingly enough the boy seemed to take this in stride and sat back down on his bench, "Sorry if I overreacted. You can never be too careful these days..."
"Erin, stop teasing Ranchan," Ukyo said as she turned back to the Ranma, "She's a terrible flirt, but she means well. Don't mind her teasing, she's mostly harmless."
"I wouldn't say that," Erin chuckled, "Besides which it's obvious enough that Ucchan has her eye on you, and I'm not that much of a cradle robber."
Except around me, Leona thought to herself, but then she noticed once again the strange looks the boy and girl were giving off, the girl's expression easily interpreted as longing and devotion while the boy looked both guilty and furtive. She was about to say something about that when a new voice intruded on the matter, a very angry voice that declared, "I thought I'd find you here flirting!"
Ranma flinched away with a guilty start and turned to the door to gasp, "Akane?"
A shorthaired Japanese girl in a yellow floral dress was standing in the doorway glaring angrily at Ranma as she declared in a hurt voice, "I go to all the trouble of preparing you a meal and this is the thanks I get? You run to her while the dinner I made goes to waste? How could you?"
"Ah, Akane," Ranma got hastily out of his seat and raised his hands in a deflecting motion, "You know it's not like that, I..."
"That you refuse to eat my cooking..." the girl in the yellow dress looked halfway between outrage and tears as she angrily stalked nearer to the wary Ranma, "After all the work I put into finally making you something good to eat and you won't even touch it...no! You come running to HER to eat her pig slop!"
"HEY!" Ukyo cried out in protest.
"Leave Ucchan out of this," the boy stood up, "It's not her fault that you're food's toxic and you can't even boil water without..." his eyes suddenly got very wide, as if only just realized what he was saying, and he hastily raised his hands in a deflecting manner, "I mean...I'm sorry, Akane! I didn't mean to..."
The girl was almost shaking with rage as she strode up to him and cried, "RANMA NO BAKA!" and then hit him so hard that he was picked up and thrown all the way across the room as patrons scattered, a few seconds too late to avoid him landing and toppling one of their tables.
"Hey!" Ukyo was suddenly vaulting the counter with a large baker's peal in hand as she snarled at Akane, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT IN MY RESTAURANT!"
"Oh sure," the girl whirled and assumed a defensive stance, "Take his side like you always do! I know what you two say about me behind my back! Well, he's MY fianc e, and WE'RE getting married next month in case YOU don't remember!"
"How could I forget?" Ukyo was literally shaking with her own suppressed rage, standing less than a meter away from the other girl with her weapon half-raised as though she were aching to strike her, "You rub my nose in the fact every time we meet, but I'll say it again: DON'T HIT RANCHAN IN MY RESTAURANT!"
"I'm not afraid of you," Akane said defiantly, "And I'll tell you again to keep away from my iinazuke!"
"He's only your iinazuke because of that stupid agreement with your parents!" Ukyo was almost shouting, "My father betrothed me to him ten years before he even knew about you! By rights he should be mine instead of a violent girl like you who can't control her temper and can't cook to save her life! Now get out of here before I call the cops and have you dragged away!"
"Just try it," Akane glared at her, looking past Ukyo's shoulder before adding, "Ranma, we're leaving."
The boy had managed to shake off the mighty punch that he had taken but he was holding his head and weaving on his feet. Erin looked him over then took a step forward before saying, "Just a moment there, laddie, looks to me like you may have a mild concussion..."
"Uh, no, I'll be all right," Ranma replied, "I've been hurt a lot worse, but there's no need to see a doctor..."
"I am a doctor," Erin replied, "And I say you shouldn't take chances with your health," she looked meaningfully at Akane.
"And who," Akane pronounced the words like a challenge, "Are you?"
"Merely a concerned bystander," Erin bowed as she said, "You know that brawling in public is not very becoming. It tends to attract the wrong sort of attention."
"I'll thank you to keep your nose out of it," Akane said in a way that raised Leona's hackles, "Come on, Ranma, we're leaving."
Leona shot a furtive glance at Erin, wondering if her mentor would take out the younger girl for speaking to her in such a manner, and she could almost have pitied the other girl if this Akane person had not come across as sounding so vindictive. To her surprise Erin did nothing but watch as the boy with the pigtail followed dutifully after the shorter dark-haired girl as they both left the restaurant. Another second later as Ukyo leaned against her baker's peel, looking incredibly tired as though she had aged a year in the last five minutes.
"Damn her," the brown haired girl ever-so-softly whispered.
"Who that?" Leona asked, silently cursing her imperfect understanding of the language.
"That," Ukyo almost spat the word before her tone became one of futility, "Is my worst nightmare, Tendo Akane, Ranchan's other iinazuke."
"Say what?" Leona reacted, "But I thought...?"
"You have a rival with a better claim, Ucchan?" Erin asked, sounding both worried and puzzled, "Excuse my ignorance, I have been away a few years, but I wasn't aware the laws had changed to allow that."
"It's not like that," Ukyo straightened up, slinging her giant spatula over her back with a very weary look about her, "It's kind of a long and painful story. Let's just say Ranma's idiot father made a pact with Tendo Soun to have his son marry one of the Tendo daughters and Akane got picked out of the lineup. My engagement to him was declared null and void by both of his parents, so I really don't have any claim over him at all. Ranma and me are just friends..."
The last word was spoken at barely a whisper, and it seemed to Leona that the girl was about to break down into tears on the spot. It was amazing that she managed to control herself as well as she had up until now, but rather than return to her work she sat down on one of the stools with a forlorn look that said volumes for the misery that she was obviously feeling.
"In other words," Erin said slowly, "That boy is being forced to marry against his wishes."
"No," Ukyo all but gasped the word, "That's the really sick thing in all of this...Ranma actually loves her...or at least he cares for her...a lot more than he cares about me..."
Without a word Leona moved closer to the girl and tried to get her attention. Ukyo was staring down at the floor in such abject despair and gave her no notice until she felt a hand upon her shoulder and looked up to see Leona regarding her with sympathy and understanding.
"I understand," Leona carefully explained, "I know what hurt like...betrayal. I thought I love a man once...and then he killed me."
Ukyo blinked in spite of the red in her eyes and the tears she had been holding back, then looked at Leona in confusion, "He what?"
Leona silently cursed her unfamiliarity with the language. She had not meant to confess that much, but as had happened so often before she heard Erin come to her rescue by explaining, "A man courting Leona once stabbed her when she did not expect it. She survived, but the hurt is still there. That's what she means when she says she knows what you're going through..."
"No!" Ukyo declared, then more softly she said, "No, it's not like that with Ranchan. I know he cares about me, he just doesn't...love me the way I love him. He's never deliberately tried to hurt me, and it's not really his fault that he got engaged to Akane, or that he...loves her...oh god...!"
Leona stared in amazement at this girl that she had just met. Ukyo's defenses were crumbling before her very eyes, but rather than heap blame on the boy who had rejected her she was defending him against the obvious accusations. Either this girl was very much in love with the boy or she was a glutton for punishment, more probably both. Instantly Leona felt a bond of sympathy for her and recalled the guilty look in the boy's eyes when he had evaded returning the look Ukyo had shone in his presence.
Have I ever been hurt this bad, she wondered? She could still remember the smile on the face of Carlos as he stabbed her through the heart, the shock of dying, of the pain that did not come at first, but then became incredibly overwhelming. Dying had only been temporary, of course, but the hurt had remained long afterwards...especially when she learned that the man she had thought herself in love with was a cold-hearted treacherous serpent who was over six hundred years old and a mass murderer who had gotten his start during the Spanish Inquisition.
She also remembered how he had died fighting Erin, and of the moment when the Quickening had erupted in both of them, the shared sensation that was like a thousand tiny explosions going on all at once with lightning and fireworks as her mind filled with the memories of several hundred years experience...
She returned her attention to the present and stared. Physical pain she could understand...she had certainly experienced enough of it the last two years with Erin. It was the pain of love unrequited and denied that she was less certain about. Carlos had never really loved her, but Ranma obviously liked Ukyo, even if he was engaged to that brute of a girlfriend...
Wait a minute, the rational part of Leona gasped. Girlfriend?
"[You've got to be kidding me!]" she said in English, turning back to look at Erin, "[That guy's marrying that girl? After the way she cleaned his clocks?]"
"[There's obviously more to this story than Ucchan is telling us,]" Erin agreed before turning back to Japanese, "Will you be all right, Ucchan?"
"Oh, sure, never better," Ukyo said tiredly, "I'm used to this by now. Sometimes I...lose it...but...I always get it back in the end. Sorry to make you have to sit through all that...these things just happen."
"He not deserve you," Leona said bitterly, earning a puzzled look from Ukyo as she registered this for a moment.
"You're wrong," Ukyo at last replied, "I don't deserve him. He's too nice a guy to come out and say it but sometimes I just think he comes here to try and cheer me up. We've been friends for so long...it's really my fault that I want it to be different."
"I no understand," Leona shook her head, "How could he want her instead of you?"
"I don't know," Ukyo murmured, then gave Leona a tired nod, "Sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend. Some men are real jerks, but nobody's like my Ranchan..."
"We should go," Erin murmured to Leona, "I'm sorry that we caused you to lose face by our presence. You are a very lovely girl and deserve much better than him. Try not to be so hard on yourself. We'll look you up again in a few days."
"Take care," Leona urged before releasing Ukyo's shoulder as she started to follow Erin out of the restaurant.
Ukyo stopped them both with the words, "You know what the really sick thing is about all this? Ranchan's asked me to be his Best Man. I'm the only real friend he's got so he wants me to be the ring bearer when he marries that...Akane..."
Leona's eyes narrowed but she waited until they were outside before saying, "[That bastard!]"
"[One can only hope if he's a son of Genma,]" Erin said in a thoughtful tone, "[But I don't think the lad's the one to blame here. Ukyo's right on that...and that means he's as much a victim as she is.]"
"[What do you mean?]" Leona asked in puzzlement.
"[Arranged marriage,]" Erin replied, "[They're pretty rare in this day and age but it's still been known to be practice by certain traditional families. Used to be the norm here before modernization.]"
"[You mean his dad and her dad decided this without consulting them?]" Leona was appalled, "[That's disgusting! Since when have parents ever known what was best for their daughters?]"
Erin fetched her with a wry look of amusement and decided not to answer that question, instead murmuring aloud, "[Let's fetch another cab and I'll explain about it on the way to the Temple. There's a few things you ought to know about traditional societies before you go making snap judgements about these matters...]"
"Good Evening," the temple priest bowed to them, "What can this humble priest do for you to brighten your days...Erin-sama?"
"The same," Erin replied with an affable grin as she studied the face of the man, whom Leona knew at once to be a fellow Immortal, "How are you doing these days, Kintaro-san? Still living the religious life, I see. Have you come any closer to finding salvation?"
"Heh, as if you would know what that felt like," the man-who appeared to be in his late thirties but was anything but young-turned his attention towards Leona and asked, "Your new apprentice, I see...or is she your latest conquest?"
"I'm training her," Erin admitted as she gave the Shinto priest a friendly glare before adding, "And never you mind anything else beyond that. I've been giving Leona a tour of my old haunts, and I thought I'd come pay my respects, see what's happened with you since the last time our paths crossed."
"Not much changes with me," the other man replied, "You know that. But I am remiss in my manners. Your young friend obviously wants to know who I am and what I was in another lifetime. The name is Shinjaru Kintaro, former retainer to the Shogun Iyatsu, if you know anything about history."
"No much," Leona admitted, "But I learning."
"Leona Dubois of Kansas," Erin indicated the man, "Kintaro's a fellow who once saved my life. You can trust him, as I do. He's retired from The Game and has lived the simple life of a priest for...has it been three hundred years now?"
"Three hundred eighty seven," Kintaro politely nodded, "But who's counting? So, you're traveling with this notorious English Pirate. I can't say that I envy you, girl, but you must be made of sterner stuff if you've managed to last this long around this kamikaze Celt. So...you're learning to speak Japanese, eh? Not many in the states your age seemed incline to before we started exporting our Anime into your markets."
"I thank you sir," Leona said very carefully, "No hope my bad..." she stumbled, then turned to Erin and asked, "[What the heck is the word for grammar in Japanese?]"
"[Perhaps you should try saying it in your own language,]" Kintaro remarked, "[It's rude for me to want to force you to speak in my tongue.]"
"[Huh?]" Leona blinked, "[You speak English?]"
"[I learned the language before I discovered that I was an Immortal,]" Kintaro replied, "[Spanish missionaries taught some of us Latin and Greek before the Shogunate kicked them out of the country, and there was that one interesting fellow, Blackthorn, who I got to know for a time...]"
"[I'm sure Leona'll be thrilled t'hear all about yer exploits in those days,]" Leona said, "Preferably over a few cups of sake. I take it ye haven't sworn any vows that would forbid th' consumption O' th'wicked brew?]"
"[Do I look like that kind of a monk to you?]" the other man smirked, waving a hand to indicate the part of his shrine that seemed clearly designed for a sleeping quarters, "[My home is yours for the duration, Hiberni. I'll heat up a bottle and we can reminisce about all the things that have happened since your last visit.]"
Leona was obligated to accompany them when the Shinto Priest invited them into his home...really little more than a small set of enclosed rooms that were partitioned off with those sliding ricepaper-on wood-frame doors that she had seen so much of during their stay in Kyoto. The priest set a kettle filled with sake over a low flame while setting out snack foods on a low table while they sat on zabuton cushions and accepted his hospitality, which was more cordial than one might expect from a fellow Immortal.
"I apologize that I don't have more sweet tasting things to share with your apprentice," Kintaro nodded gracefully to Leona before turning his attention back towards Erin, "I don't get much company these days, which is how I kind of like it. The locals accept me and my odd eccentricities, and they don't seem to mind too much that I never age and rarely stray far from this shrine."
"Retirement suits you then," Erin noted, "I'd never have imagined."
"Well, when you've seen as much of the world as I have it's all the same after a while," Kintaro shrugged, then gave Erin a look of irony before adding, "Of course why am I telling you that? You've seen five times as much of it as me and it doesn't seem to have affected you any."
"I'm rarely bored, and life for me is seldom monotonous," Erin noted in dry humor, "Besides, you can never stop learning about life in my opinion. Once you stop looking you basically stop living. I'm just a wee bit amazed to see how much the peaceful life appeals to you. When I think on what a hellraiser you were in the old days..."
"You're calling me a Hellraiser?" the priest snorted, "I like that! But I guess the real reason why I retired...well...you know what happened, the madness that overtook my people, how it affected us, how I was caught up in all the insanity of that evil war," he shook his head in clear regret, "Nankeen is what did it for me. I look back on that and wonder how I could have ever been such a man to have stood by and said nothing, to have even participated in the slaughter..."
"We've all done things of which we're not proud," Erin noted sadly, "You're no worse than many another..."
"But I was a priest even then," Kintaro shook his head, "It was a betrayal of all my beliefs, Shinto, Buddhist and Christian..."
"You were Christian?" Leona asked in surprise.
"Eh...once yes," Kintaro waved a dismissive hand, "A youthful indiscretion, like joining any other large cult. Of course I hid my faith when the Shogunate banned the practice of the Catholic faith. It was easy to submerge Christianity with Buddhism since the two have a lot in common, and I rationalized saving my skin with keeping the flame of hope alive and all that. I was a younger man back then, and given to much foolish behavior."
"Leona was raised a Roman Catholic herself," Erin smiled, "But I've been teaching her more of the Old Ways, so she's getting better."
"My sympathies to you, apprentice," Kintaro smirked, "This Pagan will have you dancing naked around a bonfire before the moon and painting your body with blue wode, assuming you're not already."
Leona half smiled at that, for there were indeed a lot of strange things that she had learned to do under Erin's tutorage, that being the least of them. As she bit into a rice-cracker, however, she noted its relative lack of flavor and could not help contrasting it with the taste of okonomiyaki. The thought saddened her as she once more flashed back to the misery surrounding the girl named Ukyo Kuonji.
"Tell me some news, Kintaro-san," Erin asked as she delicately changed the subject, "How fare some of our old friends? Any left from the old days?"
"Well," the priest mused thoughtfully, "I can tell you that Yosho is still guarding his shrine, same as always, only now he has a grandson to help out, a boy who's been keeping very unusual company, if you take my meaning."
"Achika had a son?" Erin brightened, "How is she doing these days? I haven't had time to pay my respects to the old tree-hugger..."
"Lady Achika, his daughter..." Kintaro allowed his eyes to drift towards the floor, and without needing to say so it was plain that he was speaking of her in the past tense.
"Oh..." Erin's voice conveyed great sadness, "That's too sad for words. I liked her, she was bright, inquisitive child and the light in her father's eyes. I'll definitely have to pay my respects to him when we swing around in his direction."
"Be mindful if you stop by the place," Kintaro cautioned, "Like I said, his grandson keeps unusual company these days, and one of them is none other than the Demoness, Ryoko."
"What, she got loose?" Erin responded with alarm, "But...!"
"Apparently she's in love with Yosho's boy, so she called off her vendetta against the old man," Kintaro replied, "And that's not the weirdest thing going on out there! I hear stories..."
"Excuse me," Leona spoke up, "But you know what about a man name Saotome Ranma?"
Erin was about to chide her ward when Kintaro's voice drew her attention, "Saotome Ranma? What do you know about the son of Genma?"
"Just he boy see girl named Kuonji Ukyo," Leona replied in her halting Japanese, "Only other girl name Tendo Akane..."
"Ah," the priest said sagely, "You ask about one of the great conundrums of our age. "Saotome Ranma is something of a local legend, a young warrior training to become a great martial artist and heir to the Saotome Ryu of Anything Goes Martial Arts. His father took him on a ten year training mission in which he traveled as far as China and came away from this one of the greatest fighters of his generation. To hear some talk one would believe that he is THE best martial artist in all of Japan, only I happen to know of a few others who might give the boy a run for his yen..."
"And what of the girl, Tendo Akane?" Erin frowned, "She wouldn't happen to be Tendo Soun's daughter, would she?"
"The same," the priest nodded, "His youngest, a very troublesome young girl, full of anger and self-contradiction. In many respects she embodies the worst qualities of her mother, who perished when Akane and her sisters were very young. The girl is Soun's heir, and she trained in the Tendo Ryu, only...there are problems limiting the effectiveness of her technique. Much anger in the girl..." he shook his head sadly, "And little control or restraint."
"She seemed unusually violent when I encountered her," Erin frowned, "Like she was spoiling for a fight and trying to prod the boy into fighting back against her, but he just took what dished out and went along with her meekly."
Kintaro nodded sadly, "Genma's influence on the boy. Saotome Ranma cannot bring himself to hit a woman. He knows that he could do serious injury to her if the two of them fought in earnest, so he tries to hold back for fear of hurting her, but she takes this as an insult, inferring that her abilities are not competitive with his. His restraint only fuels her anger, and the only way she knows how to cope with her rage is to strike out at the one whom she identifies as the source of so much of her aggravation."
"And does the boy do much to provoke her...besides not hitting her, that is?" Erin inquired.
"The boy cannot help but offend her," Kintaro said sadly, "He is Genma's son, after all, so he speaks his mind freely and thoughtlessly insults without intending any true malice. To him life is like a game of martial arts in which the opponent is himself, and he berates any weakness he perceives as being less than manly, though he's rather casual in the way he generally deals with his problems."
"Sounds like Genma's influence all right," Erin nodded, "So how did these two wind up engaged in the first place?"
"Rumor has it that the two fathers both got drunk one night and proposed a union of their houses," Kintaro explained, "Though I've heard it was more an agreement made for the practical reason of keeping the Tendo dojo within the family. Soun's wife only gave him daughters, only one of whom turned out to have a real interest in the martial arts, so there was an obvious fear about inheritance laws underlining their agreement. Coupled on that, uniting the two branches of their school would please their Master greatly..."
"Their master?" Erin repeated, sitting upright, "Don't tell me that old goat, Happosai, is still alive and kicking?"
"And just as perverted as ever," Kintaro smiled, "If Karma's not with you he'll probably put in an appearance somewhere to cause trouble, like always."
"What about Kuonji Ukyo?" Leona spoke up, "What her story?"
"Ukyo?" Kintaro grew sad once again, "A very tragic story there. Her father made an agreement with Genma a bit under twelve years ago to engage her to Ranma in exchange for her father's Yatai cart. Genma, of course, took the cart but left the girl behind, and for ten years Ukyo blamed both father and son for that and swore an oath of vengeance. She felt humiliated as a girl, so she started dressing as a boy and vowed to become as good a chef as her father, then ten years later she caught up with Ranma and got the story straight with him, after which she renounced her vengeance."
"She forgave him for abandoning her?" Erin was clearly surprised by this statement.
Kintaro smiled without mirth and said, "Would you believe the boy never even suspected that she was a girl before finding out the hard way? He'd always assumed that Ukyo was a boy, so he had no idea about any engagement between them. He considered Ukyo his best friend and a fellow playmate and was very upset to learn about what his father had done behind his back. Of course Genma acknowledged taking the cart but refused to own up to having done anything wrong in the girl's case, and he's pretty well determined that Ranma will marry Tendo's daughter, so he chooses to ignore his agreement with the Kuonjis..."
"That Bastard," Erin hissed, "I always knew he was no good, even in the old days..."
"It gets worse," Kintaro assured them, "At first Ranma and Akane couldn t even stand to be around each other on account of the boy picking up a rather inconvenient curse while training in China..."
"A curse?" Erin inquired politely.
"It's a bit complicated to explain," Kintaro assured her, "Basically, though, over the course of time Ranma became fond of the girl, even protective whenever she got into any danger. They fight a lot but there is affection underneath the hostility, but still Akane does not trust her iinazuke and had problems allowing herself to express any sort of tenderness with him, though she is unusually possessive. They boy is popular with the ladies...has that sort of charisma, you see...the Saotome charm. His father had it, the Kami know why the ladies always found him attractive..."
"Er...yeah," Erin conceded, "I take it the boy never does anything to encourage this sort of thing?"
"Never a wink or a hint that he finds anyone else more attractive than Akane," Kintaro sighed, "I give the married maybe a year...less than five at the most, and that's assuming he survives the honeymoon since I'm pretty well convinced that Akane won't relax too much with him even after they are married. There's something...not right about her...I'm no psychoanalyst, of course, but there is something that's just basically wrong with being angry so much of the time. The points when she's calm and fairly reasonable to deal with give you no hint of what a real terror she can be when something sets her rage in motion..."
"I know of several mental states that fit that description," Erin said grimly, "Pathological conditions, such as Rage Disorder, which if left untreated doesn't spontaneously cure itself. Sounds to me like a borderline personality disorder. I take it she's never had professional counseling?"
"To the best of my knowledge, no," Kintaro replied, "The child is just too stubborn and prideful to admit that there could be anything wrong with her. The boy himself is hardly lacking in his own list of mental problems, but he's trying to do the 'right' thing by honoring his commitment to her. He's been making an effort not to insult her as often, and he's been listening to his mother's advice on how to coax Akane into remaining calm more often..."
"That can't be too effective if what I saw was any indication," Erin snorted, "I am troubled by all of this, Kintaro-san. It almost seems to be as if history is repeating itself around Saotome Genma, and I know that any agreement he would enter into cannot be a very sound policy. It would seem to me that these children are heading into a real disaster."
"You are not the only one to share this observation," Kintaro nodded, "A betting pool exists, run by one of Akane's older sisters, on just how likely it is that the two of them will marry, and how long it will last...but then again, people will bet on just about anything in this town..."
"Excuse me," Leona said politely as she got up, "Which way to girl room? I have go big time."
"Oh, just down the hall and to your right," Kintaro pointed, "You can't miss it."
"Thank you," Leona bowed, then followed directions to wind up in the lavatory of the small house, once she was inside she cast around and saw the window at one end. It opened easily enough and gave her no problems pushing aside the screen so that she could slip through this gap without making any sounds that might alert Erin.
Once outside Leona headed away from the temple grounds, not hurrying too much until she was certain that she was beyond the wolfishly sharp ears of her Celtic guardian, and then she sought public transportation back towards Ukyo's restaurant, catching hold of the back end of a bus and climbing up on the roof before the driver could be any the wiser. From there she judged her moment and then vaulted onto the roof of another car and rode it until she was ready to dismount a few blocks later.
Though her behavior might have seemed reckless to any casual observer, Leona was merely employing the skills that she had acquired in two years of traveling around with Erin. Being an Immortal meant she could take risks that would daunt a more fragile girl and even risk serious injuries that she knew would heal back in a matter of minutes. In actuality she was being unusually cautious as she did not want to attract the attention of anyone like the police, but it seemed for the most part that the citizens of this prefecture tended to ignore her acrobatics.
About the only time that Leona paused in retracing her steps back towards Ucchan's restaurant was when she felt a familiar tingling sensation in her breast, the warning sense that alerted her to the nearness of a fellow Immortal. She turned to glance over her shoulder, half-fearing that Erin had discovered what she was doing and was seeking to head her off, but nothing showed up to her senses and a moment later the sensation left her.
She continued on her way, her perfect recall of the cab ride from the restaurant to the shrine imprinted indelibly in her head, and so she missed seeing the limousine pull up alongside a curb two blocks away as the driver heeded the instructions of his single passenger, a distinguished gentleman of wealth and bearing who turned to frown over his shoulder, the fleeting sense of a fellow Immortal having caught his notice, though it was plain that whoever it was had been headed in the opposite direction.
The man smiled to himself, a cruel, calculating smile and wondered who it was that had come into his part of town and revealed themselves so brazenly. A chance encounter like this was not to be overlooked as it could provide him with the sport that he most craved to lighten up a dull evening. He told the driver to turn around and head back down the way they had just come, hoping he might sense the presence again and determine for a fact if this were an old enemy come calling or some fresh, new challenge against which me might test his sword skills...
Oblivious to her sudden peril, Leona found Ucchan's and entered the restaurant, finding it near deserted with only Kuonji sitting at a table with her head on her hands, not even bothering to look up at the new patron.
"Go away, we're closed for business," she called out in a tired voice.
"Excuse please?" Leona approached the chef cautiously and saw Ukyo start as she recognized her recent customer, "I wondering...have question...you mind if talk?"
"[Maybe you'd better try it in English,]" Ukyo smiled weakly, seeing Leona's start at being addressed in her own language, "[Your Japanese is even worse than Shampoo's.]"
"[Who?]" Leona wondered at the reference to a hair care product.
"[Never mind,]" Ukyo said, leaning back in her chair, "[How can I help you...Leona, was it?]"
"[Yeah,]" Leona relaxed, feeling much better about not having to stumble around looking for equivalent words to bolster her weak grasp of the Japanese language, "[You talk pretty good English, a lot better than my Japanese.]"
"[I'm from Kansai,]" Ukyo replied, "[English is spoken there like a second language.]"
"[Really?]" Leona grinned as she sat down at a chair near to Ukyo, "[Cool! I'm from Kansas. Small world, huh?]"
"[I guess,]" Ukyo noted, "[So...like I said, Sugar, how can I help you?]"
Leona decided to launch right into business, "[You shouldn't let that jerk marry that bitch, Akane. They're more like Punch and Judy than Romeo and Juliet!]"
"[That's not telling me anything I don't already know,]" Ukyo replied with a soft smile, "[But I thank you for being concerned, Sugar. It's nice to know that there's at least one other person who sees things the same way as I do.]"
"[Then you'll try to break them up?]" Akane asked, "[The way those two act around each other...]"
Ukyo sadly shook her head, "[I've already tried doing everything I know how to break them up, but nothing's worked. It's like the two of them are fated-or doomed-to be together. I even tried bombing their last attempt at having a wedding...]"
"[You what?]" Leona asked, aghast.
"[Nobody got hurt, but that doesn't excuse my behavior,]" Ukyo said sadly, "[I've tried to make it up to Ranchan, and he forgave me, but Akane reminds me and rubs my nose in it every chance she gets...}" she sighed, "[I was desperate, but I should have known better. I was crazy with jealousy and hurt about the betrayal and dishonor and such...but that doesn't excuse what I did, and I've tried to make up for it ever since...]"
"[You must really have it bad for that guy,]" Leona noted, "[In an Amy Fisher/Unabomber kinda way...]"
"[What can I say?]" Ukyo sighed, "[Hang around in this town long enough and you'll be doing all kinds of weird stuff that seems to make sense at the time but afterwards leave you feeling like you took momentary leave of your senses. I guess the plain truth is that I didn't want to let him go, to admit defeat, that I had lost and she had won and that I'd never get...]" she paused, her face once again taking on the forlorn look that had haunted Leona for the past hour, "[That Ranchan...never really loved me...]"
"[He's a jerk,]" Leona remarked, "[You're better than he is, you deserve better.]"
"[Wish I could believe that,]" Ukyo smiled weakly, her eyes red-rimmed and thus spoiling the effect of her effort, "[But the truth is...I'm not the only one in the same boat. There's someone else I'm meeting here who's in even worse shape than me...]"
"Nihao!" a voice called out without any real enthusiasm, "Shampoo is here, Spatula girl. What you want talk-who this?"
Leona turned around and blinked in surprise at the newcomer, a lovely Asian girl who had long purple-colored hair that was offset from the pink, silken Chinese-
style pajamas she was wearing. Her crimson eyes studied Leona with an expression that could only be described as cat-like, neither wary nor hostile, only curious in a purely disinterested manner.
"Hello, Shampoo," Ukyo responded as if she had expected the new arrival, "This is a friend from America named Leona who's just visiting. I only wanted to talk with you for a bit...is that a problem?"
"Talk?" Shampoo seemed to think the word over then sighed, "Why no? Is nothing better do, now that great grandmother sell restaurant."
"That's what I wanted to talk about," Ukyo remarked, "I got the word from Konatsu that you guys were leaving, and I think I know the reason, but I wanted to hear confirmation."
"What there talk about?" the purple haired girl sighed as she sat down at a table near to Leona and rested her chin on her hands, "Ranma explain everything to great grandmother, she accept, so Shampoo no have job or home...maybe no have life either, so what we talk about, eh?"
"Just that," Ukyo said, "What are you gonna do with your life now that we've both lost out? I hear they won't take you back home on account of some disgrace or something...Mousse wasn't too specific."
"Stupid Mousse," Shampoo sniffed, "Figure he tell you about Shampoo secret shame. No can go home and bring shame to family. Is disgrace Shampoo's alone, no want make great grandmother suffer."
"Mousse seemed to think you had one option," Ukyo nodded, "I'm pretty sure you know what that is, considering the way his mind works."
The purple haired girl's flashed with genuine anger, "Stupid, stupid Mousse! Him think only one thing! Is big opportunity for him if Shampoo become wife to protect family! Shampoo sooner boiled alive than do this!"
"A little extreme, don't you think, Sugar?" Ukyo noted, "He's not all that bad as guys go in this prefecture..."
"Then why stupid Spatula Girl no marry him?" the purple haired girl declared in open contempt, "Mousse weak and selfish, no listen ever to Shampoo! Shampoo no marry him before she have Airen, no marry him even if Airen marry violent Akane!"
"Then maybe I can offer a third alternative," Ukyo replied, "One that doesn't require that anybody get hurt. I know you've pretty much given up on revenge, like me..."
The purple haired girl subsided, "Is true...what is point? Nothing Shampoo do change Airen heart..."
"Seems to me we've got a lot in common, Sugar," Ukyo nodded sadly, "We've both lost Ranma, and we both hate Akane. She may have taken the jackass, not to mention every single ounce of pride and honor that either one of us has ever had to our name, but I won't sit still and let her take what's left of the rest of my life, so maybe it's time to move on and make plans for...for getting past our losses. Since you don't have anything better lined up...I was hoping that maybe we...could work out some kind of an arrangement. I mean...misery loves company, right?"
"What you saying?" Shampoo asked with a wary, neutral expression, "You is...offering Shampoo something?"
"A Job," Ukyo replied, "Come work for me and you can have the upstairs loft, next to Konatsu. He's away visiting relatives but he won't mind having a new neighbor, just like won't much mind having you for a room mate. It's a lot better than the alternative...for either of us, Sugar. I mean...you weren't really planning to kill yourself over that big jerk, were you? That'd just make Akane the winner, and you Amazons really hate losing."
"Is true," Shampoo looked down at the table, "Shampoo not know what to say. Never get along with Spatula girl in past..."
"That's mainly because we were both after the same thing," Ukyo countered, "Without that in the way...who knows? We might even learn how to become friends..."
"Friends?" Shampoo considered the word, "Never have real friends...not since...long ago..."
"[Um...excuse me?]" Leona spoke up, "[I don't mean to be rude or anything, but...is she saying her name is Shampoo?]"
"[Yeah,]" Ukyo replied, "[Go with it. She's an Amazon from China, and formerly one of my biggest rivals for Ranchan...]"
"What you say?" Shampoo looked at them in confusion.
"Ah..." Leona turned back to the girl with a sheepish smile, "I sorry I butt in...is just question I have...my name Leona...Leona Dubois..."
"Leona...is name for Lioness, yes?" the purple haired girl looked from Leona to Ukyo as if seeking confirmation.
"[Uh...right,]" Leona conceded, "I sorry I interrupt...go on with talk. I..."
All of a sudden the spider webs crawled up and down Leona's back and did a tap dance on her nervous system. Leona's head came up sharply as she glanced around the interior of the restaurant, then slowly turned to face the entrance, rising up out of her chair as she did so.
"What's wrong, Sugar?" Ukyo asked, "You look like you just saw a ghost or something...?"
Leona did not answer, nor did she have to as a man came walking in through the front doors, a very tall, clean-shaven man in very fine tailored clothing, who glanced at the three girls hovering around the table before latching his eyes upon Leona, and then smiling in a cruel and calculating manner.
"[Guys,]" Leona whispered over one shoulder without taking her eyes off of the stranger, "[There wouldn't happen to be a back exit to this place, would there?]"
"[There is,]" Ukyo replied, "[Why? Do you know this Turkey?]"
"[She knows of me, who and what I am,]" the man himself replied, reaching into his coat and pulling out a very ancient-looking katana, reverting to Japanese, "I am Tonada Shinji of the Koga prefecture."
Leona remained motionless for a moment, but then very slowly reached up to her collar, keeping her eyes on the man the full time as she drew her own katana from its hidden sheath. It was not as long as a regular katana, closer to a Ninja-to in length, but sharp enough to do its business as she assumed a defensive crouch and declared, "[I'm Leona Dubois of Kansas City, and if you've got a beef with me, don't include my friends here!]"
Behind her back Leona sensed Ukyo pulling out that huge iron spatula that she had been brandishing about earlier, but then she caught movement out of the corner of her other eye and saw that Shampoo, too, was now armed with a pair of rounded maces (and never mind where she had been keeping those things concealed!) and was taking a flanking position.
"[Ah,]" the man smiled, "[But your friends interest me almost as much as do you. An Amazon from China and an outcast Ninja girl playing at being a humble chef. Indeed, three prizes for the sake of one. Such a fortunate happenstance must be the work of the Kami.]"
"[Get out of here, guys!]" Leona called over her shoulder, "[I'll try and hold him off!]"
"[No way, Sugar,]" Ukyo replied, "[This guy's on my turf, and nobody threatens my customers in my restaurant!]"
"Shampoo not know what stupid words mean," Shampoo added for her own part, "But Shampoo no like look of guy making threats. Maybe teach him no make threatening noise to womans of Amazons?"
"That's women, Sugar," Ukyo corrected, "And it's kind of redundant to use women and Amazon in the same sentence..."
"I can see you're not taking my threat very seriously," the strange man noted wryly, "Which means I am going to have to teach you the error of your presumption! SHADOW STORM!"
The stranger lifted his blade and suddenly Leona felt the hackles along her arms and the nape of her neck begin to stand on end as she sensed the power welling up within the other man, who was surrounded by a dark halo of energy before the light congealed around his blade, and all at once the energy exploded outward, catching all three girls by surprise and hurling them backwards like straws before a hurricane. Leona managed to catch the brunt of it without immediately blacking out, but enough was left over to send her new friends hurtling back into the back wall of the restaurant, where all three collided with bone-jarring effect while every piece of furniture in the place was scattered by the blast in all directions...
Continued.
Comments/Criticism/Celtic Highlander: shadowmane
Who is this mysterious stranger and what are his designs for Leona and her two companions? If you know anything about the regular Highlander series you can pretty much guess what fate awaits our pretty heroine from Kansas if she loses, but how does this affect Ukyo, Shampoo, or even Ranma for that matter? And what of Leona's guardian, the indomitable Ice Warrior of the Iceni Celts, Erin O'Shea? If you want the answers to these and other questions, tune in for next time and the second part of this grand adventure! Be there!
(The characters Erin or O'Shea and Leona Dubois are the creations of Jim Robert Bader and bear only passing resemblance to the characters and situations found in the regular Highlander series, from whose inspiration the basic concepts have been freely adapted.)
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