Author's Note: Here's wilwarindi's gift for the Secret Santa exchange! She asked for Jam fluff/angst, set either before or during MH. Sorry for the delay!
It had been a long, anxious drive to the hotel, with Tim's grip on the steering wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white. Glancing at the still form of Jay, leaning against the window limply, Tim's eyes nearly welled up as he thought, "Please be okay." He exited the car, his door slamming shut, and opened the passenger door. Unbuckling Jay and pulling him out of his car, Tim closed and locked the door, picked up Jay, and carried him into the hotel room. That had been a week ago.
Noises from the bed next to him woke Tim from his memories. 2:00 AM, Tim thought, looking at the small clock on the bedside table. He had spent the last few hours staring at the blank white ceiling and listening to the sounds of cars driving by and the noises of people in adjacent rooms.
"Jay?" Tim asked softly, standing and walking the short distance to Jay's bed. "You need anything?"
"I-" Jay croaked weakly, blinking slowly.
"Jay? Is something wrong?" Tim grabbed a bottle of water from the bedside table next to him, and turned on a lamp, moving to sit next to Jay.
"Who… who are you?" Jay turned to look at Tim, genuine confusion on his face.
Tim opened his mouth to answer, but dropped his gaze to the floor with a quiet, bitter chuckle. He played with the bottle for a few moments before answering. "It… it doesn't matter. You feel hungry or thirsty?" He passed the water bottle to Jay, standing up and searching for his bottle of pills. He found them laying on the floor near the bathroom door.
"I'm sorry." The sudden declaration shocked Tim, and he almost dropped the pills in his hand.
"W-what?"
"I'm sorry. For everything. I…" Jay quietly sobbed. "I thought it was helping. Years wasted… for nothing. I've done nothing but make things worse. If it wasn't for me, you'd… you'd be…"
"Jay, stop," Tim cut him off, walking back toward the bed and sitting down next to Jay. He uncapped the pill bottle and poured out enough for both of them. "Take them." He held out the pills, and Jay stared at them for a few seconds, then slowly picked them up and, opening the bottle of water, swallowed them. He kept his gaze on the floor, tears trickling down his cheeks. Tim did the same, swallowing his own pills with the rest of the water.
"Tim." Jay whispered, sniffling loudly.
"Yes Jay?" He gently set the empty bottle down on the table and turned to face Jay.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do any more," He croaked, tears flowing down his cheeks again.
"It's okay, Jay. We're going to be okay," Tim consoled Jay, patting him on the back. He wasn't sure if his reassurances were directed toward Jay or himself though. Jay shook his head, wiping his eyes. Tim wasn't sure what to do next. He'd never really had to comfort anyone before, being on his own for most of the time. "Come here," he said, hoping this would keep Jay from crying himself into exhaustion.
Jay didn't hesitate, climbing into Tim's arms and holding on as if his life was at stake as he cried the rest of his tears. It had been a long time since he'd had any sort of intimate contact with somebody, and he felt the need burning in his subconsciousness. The need for real human contact.
He buried his face in Tim's shoulder, and the other man tightened his embrace around Jay's thin body, whispering, "It's okay Jay. We'll get through this. We're gonna be fine. Trust me on that, Jay." Jay nodded, sniffling.
For once, the two felt safe. For once, Tim didn't feel so alone. He had someone he could trust. He would see this through to the end, if not for himself, for Jay.
Jay mumbled something, but it was too muffled to make out. Tim suddenly realized that this was the first time he'd gotten anything close to a coherent conversation out of Jay, and wondered if Jay had been responding to his words, or if he'd been speaking his thoughts aloud.
He sighed, leaning his head on Jay's. His breathing had slowed, and Tim deduced that Jay was falling asleep. He sat there for a few more minutes before carefully standing and placing Jay back down on the bed to sleep and turning off the bedside lamp.
Tim made his way back to his own bed, hoping to get some sleep while it was still dark out. Jay's warmth and the pleasant thought still on his mind helped him find peace, even if it was only while he rested.