1. An alliance between two dads

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"Mustang," Ed greeted the other man coolly.

"Elric," Roy gave Ed a brief nod of acknowledgement. He had stopped calling Ed "Fullmetal" shortly after Ed had quit the military. So know it was "Elric."

Occasionally "Edward," but only when he wanted to grab the other's attention.

Cue the awkward silence.

It stretched on for a while between there, either of them not knowing what exactly to say. Make small talk, or get right to the point?

Finally, Ed said, "Okay, Mustang. I know why we're here. You know why we're here. Let me just say, if our wives know where we are…"

"We're screwed. Yes. I know that!" Roy snapped, and then shivered at the thought of Riza getting out her gun and aiming.

Likewise, Ed conjured up an image of Winry and The Wrench. God, how he hated The Wrench! And why did he keep on buying them for her?

"Anyway, Mustang. The reason we're here is because we don't want to be related to each other," Ed continued on. "No, definitely not."

And then they both thought of their children.

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The kids had never gotten along. The kids consisted of Sarah and Eddie Elric, Dan

Elric, and Robby Mustang.

Sarah and Eddie were Ed and Winry's children. Sarah was older than Edward Elric Jr. by a total of four years. She and Eddie never really got along, always picking fights with each other, almost all of them ending up with Eddie pinned to the ground by his stronger, older, smarter sister. Winry always told them to get along. They didn't. And when her back was turned, they'd immediately start squabbling again. Occasionally, Ed himself had to intervene.

Now, Sarah and Eddie were older, sixteen and twelve respectively. They still argued every now and then, but mostly ignored each other. Sibling warfare was a harsh thing, Ed thought. He and Alphonse had their occasional bouts of such, too. And they had been closer than close.

Daniel Elric was, you guessed it, Al's son. Dan was the youngest, still considered the baby of the family at age ten. Dan looked up to Eddie, but Eddie didn't care much for Dan. Sarah, on the other hand, actually liked Dan. She said that she wished she could trade Dan for Eddie. She actually did try that once, but was caught by Winry.

And then there was Robert Mustang, eighteen years of age now. He'd been called Robby when he was little, but now detested that nickname. Nowadays, most people called him Robert or Rob. He looked like a miniature Roy when he was little, but started looking more like Riza as he grew older.

Now, Rob and Sarah easily had the worst relationship out of all the other kids. They fought at every turn over every single thing they could think of. (And it didn't help that Ed and Roy secretly urged their kids to beat the other one at everything possible, too.) Rob was always flaunting his older age of two years and therefore more experience at Sarah. Which made Sarah snap. Which caused them to fight. Over and over again.

It reminded Ed and Roy of old times, repeated with their kids. Occasionally, it hadn't been limited to just words. Sometimes punches and kicks were included, yelling and screaming. And on two occasions, a little alchemy. That was serious, and Ed and Roy had given a stern lecture to those two kids after those incidents.

It'd been a fact of life, up there with all the basics. The sun comes up every morning. Equivalent exchange. Rob and Sarah don't get along.

Or that's how it used to be…

When Sarah was fourteen and Rob sixteen, Rob had gone off to this military training camp thing far north, near Briggs. The last time they saw each other, Sarah had shouted, "Good riddance, Robby, you bastard! Don't come back any time soon!" And Rob had yelled back, "I won't miss you either! And when I come back, I'll kick your ass! You'll see!"

Ed had been secretly delighted with the exchange. So had Roy. Their children were growing up exactly as they'd been raised.

Two years had passed since then. And Rob finally came back to Central to live with his parents again. And when the Elrics happened to be in Central one day, Ed decided to pay a visit to his old friend/enemy/ally/archrival, Roy Mustang. So, of course, Rob was there.

Sarah had met Rob. Rob had met Sarah. And…

God! Why did this have to happen?

They fell for each other!

It didn't make sense, Ed thought. The chemistry was wrong. Ed always thought that Rob was a younger version of Mustang, and that Sarah was younger, female version of himself. They would never got along. Perhaps they'd be friends. But not for a long, long time. He always, always, always assumed so!

The thought of Sarah and Rob, Rob and Sarah had never even occurred to Ed or Roy. Nothing even close to it! They both assumed that when Sarah and Rob saw each other again after the two year separation, things would pick up where they left off, which mostly meant trading insults, and then trading punches in private, when they thought their parents weren't looking.

Instead, Sarah had looked at Rob. Rob had stared, practically ogled, at Sarah. Sarah had been wearing a tank top and shorts, because it had been a frighteningly hot summer day. And even then, the thin tank top had stuck to her body because of all the sweat, and her hair was put up in a ponytail.

And then Rob said, "You've gotten hot."

Roy's mouth fell open? What? This was what his son had to say to Sarah Elric? You've gotten hot? That wasn't even the least bit subtle!

Ed expected Sarah to laugh and then call him a string of names, or at least give him a great, big slap and yell. But instead, she looked down and blushed (which she never did!) and said, "Gee, thanks."

Roy blinked. Ed blinked. Could this be really happening? Maybe this was a dream. Yes, a dream. That would explain it. Ed pinched himself. It hurt, and he didn't wake up.

"Um, so…" Rob tried to get some words out of his mouth. "Uh…how's…um…Eddie? Yeah, Eddie. How is he?"

"Uh, fine," Sarah said, but it was obvious that her pest of a little brother was the last thing that was on her mind. The expression on her face seemed very odd. Ed had never seen Sarah liked this before, and frankly, it was worrying him.

Both teenagers became suddenly aware of the prying eyes of their dads. Rob cleared his throat loudly and Sarah tapped her foot, sending along hinting glances towards Ed. Ed and Roy stayed.

"Hey, let's go to that ice cream place we went to when we were kids," Rob suggested, looking away from his father on purpose.

"Sure," Sarah replied, also not meeting Ed's eyes.

And then they had left. Slammed the door, too. Leaving behind their wide-eyed, slack-jawed fathers. It had happened so fast, so quickly, that the two famous alchemists who'd survived too many things to name had been left utterly speechless, with no time for reaction.

And from then on, things went downhill.

Sarah Elric and Robert Mustang. An official couple! Who would've guessed? They could be seen in public frequently, both in Resembool and at Central. Holding hands, blushing, laughing, talking. And Ed had once seen Sarah spooning chocolate ice cream into Rob's mouth! Sarah! And Rob letting her!

The horror of it! The complete horror!

Roy and Ed had comforted themselves by saying to each other that it was temporary. Just another teenage fling. Nothing important. Roy himself had gotten into many "flings" before marriage, he told Ed. Nothing to worry about. Ed had believed him, and Roy had believed himself.

Except that it had lasted for almost three months now. And both Sarah and Rob seemed to have gotten closer instead of further apart. And now, Roy and Ed decided to do something about it.

It was their mission, and theirs alone. Winry and Riza woldn't do anything about it. They thought it was "sweet" that the kids had "found true love." Excuse me for a minute. I need to barf. (And whenever Ed said that, Winry would yell at him.) They actually encouraged the relationship! And they both told their husbands not to interfere.

So Roy and Ed had to take matters into their own hands.

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"Welcome home, Dad!" Sarah crowed, and danced over to her father. She planted a kiss on Ed's cheek. "How was your trip? Did you do whatever you needed to do? Did you see Mr. Mustang? How is he? Did you see Rob? How was he? Do you know he'd coming over tomorrow?"

"Hi, Sarah," Ed sighed, ignoring the barrage of questions.

Sarah went back to the kitchen, where'd she'd been happily washing dishes and humming a cheerful tune. She was even wearing an apron. Winry's apron.

Sarah looked more like Winry, in Ed's opinion. Pale blond hair, round face, a happy smile (when she smiled). She had Ed's golden eyes, though. So did Eddie. So did Dan. The golden eyes, Ed had decided, were a dominant trait. Besides, Winry's blue eyes were almost certainly a recessive gene.

"So, Sare-Bear, what's on the agenda today?" Ed asked. "Where's Winry? Where's your brother?"

"Don't call me that!" Sarah rolled up her eyes. "Honestly, I'm not five anymore!"

I know you're not, Ed thought. I wish you were, though. You were really easy to control when you were five. You believed everything I told you. You thought that a monster lived under your bed and that a stork delivered your brother to us. You fought with Rob all the time instead of fawning over him like you do know. Damn puberty! Damn growing up!

Out loud, Ed said, "Old habit. Hey, you cut your hair today."

And sure enough, Sarah's usual waist-length sunshine ponytail had been cut to shoulder-length with a blue ribbon somewhere in it to keep part of it from falling into her face.

"Yeah, I know!" Sarah's face lighted up into one of her ear to ear grins. "It was Rob's idea. He wondered how I'd look with shorter hair, and then there was a barbershop right down the street, so we both got haircuts!"

Ed hated it when he talked about Rob. Ugh. Her eyes got all soft, and her voice got a little sloshy. It was as if she was in love. Not some silly crush that she'd discard in a week, but as if she had found her one true love. It was like one of those chick flicks that (for some reason) Dan and Eddie loved so much. (That was a little disturbing. He needed to talk to his nephew and son about being more manly later on. But now, onto the present problem, his daughter.)

No, she wasn't. Sixteen-year-olds couldn't fall in love. Right?

Ed tried to conveniently forget the fact that he fell in love with Winry when he was all but fifteen, even younger than Sarah. Somehow, he couldn't.

Sarah went on wiping away the dishes. Just a few months ago, she would've snuck away and forced either Eddie or Dan to do it, or just argue about with her parents and then storm off. But now, she was more into domestic activities. Quiet unbelievable if you knew the old Sarah. That was the only thing Ed liked about Sarah dating Rob. More labor, more help around the house.

God knows, he didn't raise his kids well enough. They were disobedient, they fought all the time, and they didn't respect him! Dan did, but Dan wasn't his son. Stupid Al. How did he get Dan to have such a quiet nature?

He'd trade all of Sarah's labor if it meant not seeing Rob's face so much.

"So, where are Winry and Eddie?" Ed asked as he took a seat in the kitchen table, staring glumly at a probably forbidden yet totally delicious-looking strawberry shortcake. Winry probably just baked it and left it there to torture him.

"Oh, Mom went out to buy something. I don't know what," Sarah shrugged. "As for Eddie, he could be anywhere, playing with his little friends. By the way, Uncle Al was over here the other day and you won't believe what he said! He said…"

Sarah went on talking to her father, unaware that he wasn't paying attention. Ed was busy mustering up courage and wondering when was the best time to ask. Finally, he sucked in a breath and started talking before he lost his resolve.

"So…uh…Sare-Bear. I was talking to Roy, and he mentioned something," Ed started to say. Sarah raised up one of her eyebrows, a curious quirk of hers. "Um, he said something about a party thing at Central soon. And I thought, uh, it'd be a good time to go. But, um, you need a date. I mean, you don't need one, but you should have one because everyone else is going to."

Sarah reacted better than he thought he would.

"Excellent! I could go with Rob!" she squealed and clapped her hands and jumped up and down like a small child, blond hair flying in the air. All of a sudden, she seemed like his five-year-old Sare-Bear again.

"Oh, about that. Why don't you go with someone else?" Ed asked in what he wanted to be a casual voice, but wasn't. It sounded like he was under an enormous amount of strain.

Sarah's face instantly fell. "Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy! Daaaaaady!"

Damn, he hated it when Sarah turned into a whiny teenage brat. She was absolutely impossible to handle. The only people who could talk her through these stages was Winry (and now it seemed) Rob Mustang.

"You know, for a change of pace," Ed fished around his head for a reason. "Yeah, you know. A change."

What a lame excuse! Even Ed thought so. Sarah, though, was preoccupied with the fact that she was going to have a party and that her father was implying that she couldn't go with Rob. She instantly puffed up and opened her mouth to fire a remark at him.

"Well then, even if I went without Rob, who'd I go with? Huh? Huh?" Sarah pouted.

"Uh, I dunno. There are lots of nice guys in Resembool. And at Central. And any other damn place in the world. Oops, don't tell Winry I said 'damn," you know she hates that. So anyways, um, you can go with, uh, Eddie or something."

Poor Ed.

"Dad, he's my brother. And he's twelve years old!" Sarah hissed, eyes narrowing. She was starting to understand what her dad was planning.

"Yeah, so?" Ed asked.

Poor, clueless Ed.

"Weren't you paying attention? He's my brother. My annoying little brother? Why the hell should I go with him!" Sarah screamed, losing her temper. She flung the wet dishrag at Ed. "It's called freaking incest! If we had kids, it would have eleven toes and two heads!"

"Whoa, I didn't mean it that way!" Ed said, voice a little muffled because of the dishrag.

She acted too much like a younger version of him.

Ed took a deep breath and slowly peeled the dirty dishrag off his face. He looked at his fuming daughter. Such a bad temper! He gritted his teeth and took another huge breath. Do not kill your firstborn child, do not kill your firstborn child, do not kill your firstborn child, he chanted to himself over and over again.

"Then, I don't know, go with Dan," Ed continued on, not knowing what he had said that was wrong.

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE! HE'S ELEVEN! MY ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD COUSIN!" she continued raging. "SOMETIMES, YOU ARE JUST UNBELIEVABLE!"

And with that, Sarah stomped off. She stopped by only to take off the apron and throw it on the floor, and to take the ribbon out of the hair and throw it on the table. She gave one last glare, and then turned around and hurried off to her room.

Mission Convince Sarah To Go To The Party With Another Guy So She Can Forget About Rob And Think About Other Guys.

Failed most miserably!

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While Ed was in Resembool with Sarah, Roy was in Central with Rob.

Rob was in his room, reading a book. It wasn't an alchemy book or a military book or an educational book. Nah, it was this sappy romance novel that Sarah said that he had to read. He'd skimmed through five chapters so far, but nothing good. Just something about a raven-haired beauty cheating on this blond guy who liked a brunette girl who liked the redhead that the raven-haired beauty was cheating with. Ahhh! How did girls read this kind of stuff?

Suddenly, the door opened. Rob hastily shoved the book under the desk, holding it with his knee so it wouldn't fall.

Oh. It was Dad. He half-expected it to be his mom, Riza, coming in to drag him outside for another target practice. Relief flooded through him. But then he realized that if his father found the object under the desk, it would cause him a great deal of torment.

"Hello, Father," Rob smiled mechanically and nodded. Inside he was thinking, Please don't find out I've been reading a sappy romance novel! I didn't even want to read it! Sarah said it was a good book!

"Hello, Robert. How've you been?" Roy smiled in a friendly way. Or he tried to. He extended his mouth to his cheeks, and he looked more like a freaky jack-o-lantern, so it gave him more a scary appearance.

"Uh, great," Rob replied, staring at his father. Maybe he's constipated or something…

"So, nice day. Nice weather." Roy gestured outside. Damn, he really needed to practice his small talk. First Elric, now his own kid. Bummer.

"Yeah. Nice weather. Nice day. Yeah. Nice yeah. I mean, uh, nice weather!"

"Are you all right, son?"

"Yeah, yeah. I am. So, what's up?"

Roy looked exceedingly uncomfortable. He sighed dramatically for effect. Too dramatically. Rob saw right through the act and wondered what was causing his father to pretend to be suffering.

"Robert, you probably heard about the annual Winter Ball coming up?" Roy sat down on his son's bed.

"Yeah?" Rob wanted to yawn, just thinking about the boring Winter Ball. Giggly girls in poofy dresses, stiff adults with stiff conversations. The only good thing was the food, and you could only stay at the food table for a limited period of time before people thought you were a glutton.

"This year, there's this really nice girl. Her name is Karen Armstrong. And she needs a date for the Winter Ball. So, I've arranged for you to be her…escort."

This pulled a reaction out of Rob.

"No way, Dad!" he howled. "I'm going out with Sarah! Don't you remember? Sarah, Sarah Elric!"

Unfortunately for Rob, he jerked his legs a little too violently and the romance book toppled off of his kneecap. It bounced once and landed on the floor with a small thud.

Roy, who didn't miss anything, didn't miss this.

"Robert, what is that?" he asked, eyes zooming on to the book.

"Its…a book," Rob said reluctantly.

"Robert, please read the title for me." Roy's voice sounded distant and far-away.

"What?"

"Read the title!" Roy snapped.

"Okay, all right. It's, uh. Well, it says (mumble)."

"Please say that louder."

"(Mumble)."

"Louder."

Rob exploded suddenly, startling Roy so much that he jumped. "A FORBIDDEN ROMANCE AT MAKELOVE BEACH! ARE YOU HAPPY? YOU WANT ME TO SAY IT AGAIN? A FORBIDDEN ROMANCE AT MAKELOVE BEACH!"

Rob was breathing hard, practically panting. Roy stared at Rob, a little disturbed, and also a little worried about his son's sexuality. A forbidden romance on Makelove Beach? Hmmmm. On second thought, he could use that line on Riza sometime in the near future.

"So. Karen Armstrong. Winter Ball. Right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Just…just go. Go," Rob said. He was mortified. He had made a complete fool out of himself. Anything to make his dad go away. "Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Please. Go."

So Roy left.

Mission Convince Roy To Go To The Winter Ball With Another Girl And Try To Make Him Fall In Love With That Other Girl.

Kind of successful.

But to tell you the truth, Roy was too busy practicing lines he would say to Riza later that night at that moment.

"Our love is a forbidden romance on Makelove Beach, baby," he mumbled to himself. "Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that sounds good."

Idiot!