AN: I'm so irresponsible. I just had to write this, even though I still have two other fanfics undone. _ Well, it's about Meiling...again. I think that this is the whole story. Short and anguishy. However, it's a MeiLi. :X So, no flames just because you don't like MeiLi. If you don't like it, then simply don't read it or don't give me a review. And please R&R :D I'll be forever grateful.
Oh yeh...it's going to be switching POV's between Meiling and Syaoran...
Meiling's POV...
Home. I never really gave it much thought. It was just a place where I trained. Where I learned. Where I grew up. But...that was a quite a while ago. Where exactly is home now? In the mangy three bedroom apartment I shared with my cousin and guardian? Is it the beautifully gorgeous landscapes of the island known as Japan? Or is home where the heart is? Where my heart is. And if so, where exactly is my heart?
If I told you a story, would you be bored? I beg of you, please listen, there's no one else...
When I was younger, I was a fool, yet I did not realize this until later. A fool living in China, I was part of the illustrious Li Clan. Therefore, to keep blood within the family, I was ordered to marry my cousin, Li Syaoran. Of course I did not have any objections. I was in love, or so I thought. But he did. He had objections. But of these objections, no one would hear any of them. It was in his eyes, though. I could see it, he didn't want to marry me. He wanted a free life. And to be truthful, so did I. A free life with him, him and him alone.
"Syaoran," I would announce, "Until you find someone else, I will be your fiancée!"
He would give a weak smile and nod reluctantly, "Okay Mei."
Ecstatic, I would throw my arms around him into a tight bear hug. A hug that bore a startling resemblance to be being buried under the blanket of a thousand seas. I loved it when he used my nickname. It make me feel special. Like I was the only one important to him. But that would soon change. It would be different soon.
When we grew older, I followed him to Japan. Like a duckling following it's mother, I would follow. Like a child clutching onto her parent's pants, I would hold on. I would've follow him to the ends of the earth if need be. Just to be near him, to hear his voice, to take care of him. To hear him whisper my name. It was worth every penny in the world. But soon that will change. It does change. Everything changes, nothing is the same. Or ever will be the same. For him, for me, for us.
Slowly I get irritating. Slowly I get him annoyed. Slowly I get attached, more and more. Further and further. Deeper and deeper. Driving him away, unintentionally but definitely. I didn't mean it. I wanted him by my side. I wanted him to be there for me and me for him. But it was the inevitable, I guess. And now I have to learn to cope with it. Only can I complain to you, you who will listen, you who perhaps might understand, you who might share my agony, heartaches, and regrets. You who can share my joys, my triumphs, and my darkest moments. You, who is you...
Now, I find a different home. One of more pain and suffering than before. One of immense anguish. Is this my home? Is this where I belong? Walls of scarlet fire. Endless screams of torment. Coarse odors of burning flesh. Piles of distorted bodies. Puddles of crimson blood. I know this isn't my dream of a home. I know this isn't my wish. Nevertheless, I came here anyway. Why? Because of hate. Because of pain. Because of love. Because...I couldn't let go. And yet another question plagues me, is this where my heart really belongs? Is this where...I belong?
*************
Syaoran's POV...
She's gone. I never thought I'd see the day. I always thought she'd be right beside me. She always was, so it never crossed my mind that she'd be...gone someday. It's almost been a week since it happened. How stupid I was to not see the signs. She was someone who'd listen to me, someone who'd talk to me, someone who cared about me.
But I was none of those things to her. I wouldn't listen to her, I wouldn't talk to her, and sometimes, although I hate to admit it, I wouldn't care about her. True, she annoyed the heck out of me and got me extremely mad at times, but she was the only one ever to be able to do so. She brought out everything in me. The bravery. The corruptness. The smiles. The misery. It's so typical of me to realize that I've lost something meaningful in my life, after I've lost it. It's so typical of me to regret my actions. It's so foolish of me...
Now that she's gone, each and every thing in reality is bland. Day's are often dull, without those expressive crimson eyes staring at me and speaking to me. Taunting me. Provoking me. Pushing me to do my best. Once more, I'm all alone.
In one horrid moment, my whole world turned upside down and along with it I lost my will to live. I never thought I'd mourn over her. I never thought I'd be expressing these emotions for someone whom I thought I didn't even need.
But I was wrong. How idiotic of me to believe that I didn't need her. She was the constant in my life. Without seeing her bright face, hearing her whiny comments, and getting enveloped in her mighty hugs every morning, life just isn't the same. It's so tedious. So barren. So...undesirable to be in.
*************
Meiling's POV...
I sit in my corner. My dark, lifeless corner. In a fetal position I rock, back and forth. Back and forth. Silently waiting for my turn. Waiting for my turn to scorch, to bleed red, to scream in torment, to beg for mercy. Waiting for the day that I'll be able to go home. Praying for the moment that will end this torture.
My turn comes now. I get dragged to the chamber. The chamber which replays for me, all my sins. The chamber which forces me to feel the pain that other's before me have felt. The burning realization it sends extracts my precious essence from me. The magical burns that appear abruptly on my body, forces me to bleed till I'm rasping for mercy. It hurts like no other feeling in existence.
Not only does it hurt physically, but it also punishes mentally. It makes you scared, it makes you think, it makes you regret. But thinking about regret is all futile now. It tells me, "You should've changed it when you had a chance, now it's too late." It laughs when I shriek back unmentionable curses and maliciously releases another wave of emotional suffering towards me. Slowly my vision swirls, the pain is to much, the scarlet flames dance around me like ballerinas and thus I am overwhelmed by body, mind, and spirit. Giving up the unilateral fight, I collapse into oblivion.
*************
Syaoran's POV...
Here I stand. Winds around me whispering it's secrets. The bright moon twinkling in all it's glory, mocking me with it's happiness. I can't take it anymore, everything in the world is happy and so full of life. Everything but me. Everything but Meiling and I. I can't see how every one can be so happy and go on with life, knowing that someone important in their life is dead. How can they go on knowing that there's one less person in the world?
Maybe they could, but I can't. I need her. I need her warmth, her joyousness, her sarcastic remarks. I miss her terribly. No words can express how much I miss her. It's as if a part of me has been taken and now it's all but a big empty dark space. Never to be filled again...unless I do something about it.
I smile bitterly as I eye the buildings and streets below. It was too perfect. Such a perfect world. I hate perfection. Everyone sleeping soundly in their perfect homes, as the night covers them with a blanket of stars. But it wasn't perfect. It may seem it, but it will never be perfect as long as there is death, suicide and hate. I need to get out of here now. I need to get to Meiling.
I put on a wistful expression as I launched myself into the sky. My face broke into a eerie smile. So this is how it feels like to fly...
*************
Meiling's POV...
Waking up after the periodic times from being in the torture room were always a pain. It hurt like hell when you were in there, but it would hurt even more when you were out. Because then, you could contemplate where you went wrong in life. What you did wrong in life. It was all a endless cycle to suffer for eternity.
I can now hear the screams of yet another unfortunate soul. A soul that's probably sorry for everything it has ever done, whether it be good or bad. My sole wish right now is to get out of here. Whatever I have to give up to make this wish come true, I would give it without a second thought. I even wish that perhaps I could turn back time, I would much rather live with the agony of love than be condemned with this...this...hellish torture. In an effort to make the pain subside, I attempted to make it all go away again. Much like those around me, I begin hit my head countless times on the fire-blazing wall. Nothing could be worst than this. Nothing.
*************
Syaoran's POV...
My body seems to be lying on something soft...something feathery-like. There's no pain in my body. It felt strangely relaxed. I opened my mahogany eyes and I see into the faces of beautiful, ethereal beings, both male and female. Their bodies were even more ideal then the perfection of Greek sculptures. Their faces held more emotion and pity then that of the Baroque. Five in all. Five flawless, ideal beings who held the epitome of perfection in their expressions.
I sat up and looked at each of them inquiringly. "What? Where am I?"
The closest to me, a girl perhaps a few years older than me, answered. "You're in a place where no more suffering can occur. Where you'll feel complete and fulfilled." Her voice rang through like silver wind chimes against the autumn breeze, but it held a odd note. A note of pity, perhaps?
Realization hit me when I gazed around at my surroundings. There was one word for all of this, perfection. I scowled in disgust. This was exactly what I was trying to get away from, but I brought more upon myself. How ironic. "Where's Meiling?" I demanded like a 4 year old child.
They all blinked at me. "Excuse me?" asked the boy closest to me, his amethyst eyes clouding in confusion.
I sighed exasperated, "Meiling. Where is she?"
The youngest of the bunch, a gray eyed girl, spoke timidly, "Meiling isn't here."
My eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What do you mean 'Meiling isn't here'?"
"She means what she said. Meiling really isn't here," the amethyst eyed boy said pleasantly.
I glared at them. "Then where is she? I am dead right? If I'm dead, like she is, I should be able to talk to her."
A petite red-head shook her tresses dejectedly. "You are dead...but I'm afraid you can't see her," she said with a sorrow filled voice.
My voice raised a notch. "What do you mean!? Would someone just please tell me!"
A older, more refined male voice spoke up. "There's no need for such anger Syaoran."
"No need?! I want to know what the heck is going on!" I scowled at all of them as they slightly shrank away, gracefully under my gaze.
The older male waved all five of them off with his right hand before turning back to me. I looked at him expectantly. He smiled. I inwardly glared at him. As he walked closer and looked down at me, his blonde hair fell in perfect angles over his wisdom filled blue eyes.
"Meiling is..." he trailed off as he got a sour look in his otherwise flawless face.
"Meiling is what?" I prompted, a little disturbed.
He gave me a grim expression. "Syaoran I'm sure you know that there's a heaven and there's a..."
"Hell," I said when the man looked as if he couldn't say the word.
"Yes a...hell," the blonde winced when he said it. "Well, Meiling...is in hell..." the man said, looking as pained as when a parent lost his child.
I grimaced. "...How? How can I be here and she be there?"
"She was too angered and disturbed to be here," he gestured at their surroundings. "We tried but we couldn't help her...she wouldn't talk to us. I really am sorry Syaoran."
"So, I'm in heaven?"
He nodded solemnly. "Yes you are."
"Well this is more like Hell! The one I love isn't even here with me!" I spat at him.
His blue eyes turned cold. "You don't have to be unappreciative Syaoran. I haven't even told you the whole story yet. If you desire to, we can help you retrieve her."
"Well then, tell me," I said, quickly interested.
*************
Meiling's POV...
Pain. Make it stop. Stop the pain. Stop it. I strained my ears and heard another singing eerily into the darkness, her childlike voice echoing.
Pain pain go away,
Come again another day.
I shuddered at the loneliness of her voice and started to softly murmur what she was singing, while rocking back and forth with my knees to my body.
Pain pain go away....Come again another day...
A blinding light came and I scrambled to hide my face into my knees. Not again. No it's too soon. Why am I getting tortured again so soon. It wasn't even my turn.
A warm hand gripped my arm tightly as it's owner knelt down next to me. I flinched away. "Meiling!"
My head shot up at the voice, which I didn't expect in a thousand years to ever hear again. "Syaoran...?"
My eyes locked into his. He smiled at me painfully, but genuinely. I pray that this isn't an illusion. Please don't let it be.
"Syaoran!" I buried myself into his arms. After a moment I heard another, a man, with a deeper voice.
The man knocked out a creature with deep obsidian eyes and sharp claws. "We need to get out of here now." I could hear scrapes of metal from swords dancing around everywhere, held by both perfection and damnation.
Syaoran released me from his warm embrace but held onto my hand tightly. "C'mon Meiling," he guided me to stand up, but when I couldn't, a beautiful man stepped forward and lifted me in his arms. He shot Syaoran a reassuring glance that said, 'take care of yourself, I'll take care of her.' Syaoran nodded silently and took off, flying upward.
My face must've developed a bewildered expression, because the man who held me in his arms chuckled, amused. "Hold on tight." He told me before he too shot off into the sky.
He stopped abruptly, halting in mid-air and turned around, "Let's go!" His voice was of utmost order and authority.
From all corners of Hell, angels shot upwards into the sky. Most of them looked tired and weary, but most were fortunately unharmed. The man nodded a command and everyone flew upwards towards...heaven? A small smile escaped my lips as I held on tight in anticipation of ending the pain. My wish finally came true...
*************
Two figures sat upon a cloud looking downwards. Wisps of sunshine danced around them. The girl smiled and turned her head to gaze upon her savior. "Thanks Syaoran..." she whispered softly, resting her head on his chest.
Syaoran smiled and wrapped a arm around her waist. He gave her a soft butterfly kiss on her forehead and rested his chin on her head. "You're welcome Mei..."
Meiling's face broke into a ethereal smile. So this is what home is like. This is where my heart will reside in for eternity... She took Syaoran's hand into her's as she snuggled closer and her smile intensified. I guess can live with that.