A/N: Well, here's another short soliloquy from me. I think I could have done better with this,
but I just hadn't been writing very well at the time. This whole fic (which isn't very much, actually) was inspired by
a line from a Counting Crows song. It's
one of my favorite on that CD, actually (it's This Desert Life, I think).
Disclaimer: Harry, his parents, the Dursleys Gilderoy
Lockhart and Voldemort belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.
Harry's Soliloquy – Expectations of Fame
"All you want is a beauty queen, not a superstar, but everybody's dream machine… but you come awake the way you are instead…" - Counting Crows ("All My Friends")
*~*~*~*
Living up to someone else's expectations can be hard. Especially when you're so used to no one expecting anything out of you at all.
Because my parents weren't around, I was stuck living with the Dursleys. They never thought I'd amount to anything, and they still do. They don't care about what people think of me in the wizarding world, and they don't even know what that world expects out of me. I wish I didn't know either.
Simply because I'm "the famous Harry Potter," everyone expects that I'm this cute, perfect little boy. The truth is, I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, just like anyone else, but they're always amplified because people think "the famous Harry Potter" can do no wrong. The people who don't think that just use it against me, saying that I, too, believe that sham.
I'm not saying that I'd like to change who I am, but it's just that everyone thinks you're immortal and can do no wrong when you're famous. That's not the way it really is. That's the way people thought of Gilderoy Lockhart, and look what happened to him. He's in some mental hospital trying to get his memory back. Celebrities aren't immortal.
Not that I really consider myself a celebrity. I didn't do anything to deserve this. It was all because my parents weren't afraid to stand up to Voldemort. Sure, I wasn't either, but I wouldn't even have been there to do it that fateful day of the Triwizard Tournament if it weren't for my mum and dad. They weren't afraid to die for what they believed in. They'd be enjoying the same fame that I have if only they were here with me.
But the fame thing isn't real, you know. One day people will see that I'm just a normal guy, trying to live a normal life. I face the same problems that any guy faces – girls, school, girls, family, girls, friends, girls… – in just the same way. I'm no different than anyone else, so when will people realize that?