Hey, folks. Its been awhile since I've written a story for you guys. I'm sorry for that. I just wasn't feeling it anymore. Now, I wasn't sure whether to use Tori or Jade. But I went with Tori, coz, you know, her bubbly and happy personality. That's usually our thing. I didn't want to get too much into detail otherwise I would've triggered myself even more than I am already. Ha. But uh, yeah, still going to put a trigger warning up for everyone else who suffers the same hell. I just needed a place to vent because I'm so alone right now.
Tori Vega yet again wakes up to feeling completely empty, though her thoughts run wild with dark intentions. The girl lays there for 10 minutes, debating whether or not to get up and go to school. Every ounce of her being begging to stay home. She sighs softly and glances at the time on her phone before reluctantly getting up and ready for the day. But it takes Tori a lot of effort and energy to do most of the mundane activities, really wishing she could just hide away under the blankets and not do a thing. But that would be her 4th day in a row of skipping school and she didn't want anyone to ask a lot of questions; so giving herself a long, long, shitty pep-talk, the Latina woman puts on a smile and heads downstairs to wait for Trina to give her a ride. Not really wanting to eat at all, Tori happily greets her mother and groans when Trina bounds down the stairs, singing out of tune as usual. It's not like her voice is going to improve in the slightest.
"K, bye girls." Holly says, completely distracted by the text messages she's receiving from God knows who. Trina and Tori head out to the car and climb in, heading to the unique high school. Trina 'singing' on the way, making Tori wish even more that she just stayed home.
The day passes by slowly for the younger sibling, trying to act all bubbly and happy when really she was dead inside; Her thoughts eating her up completely and she starts having that feeling her chest, the one that begs her to cry and break down but Tori keeps up the act. Keeping up with Cat's hyper activeness and tentatively agreeing to hang out with the gang on the weekend. It's even troubling to pay attention and participate in classes, luckily lunch finally rolls around and Tori gets to have a breather... Momentarily, until the group arrives and sits down around at her table. Andre sits beside her and nudges her side.
"You not eating anything, girl?" Tori snaps out of her thoughts and blinks rapidly, she glances at her best friend then down at the table in front of her.
"Oh...No. I, I had a pretty big breakfast this morning" The girl answers with a smile. Andre nods and starts scoffing down his food, completely believing that.
Jade tilts her head to the side and smirks "What d'you have, Vega?"
"What did I have? Um...I-I had, some..I had a stack of pancakes, some eggs, a piece of toast annnd...What else? Uhh...a glass of OJ." Tori stutters out. She had rehearsed it several times on the ride over but once it came to the real question, the Latina panicked. And Jade, not really caring, asks no more questions and focuses on her packed burrito. Tori glances around at all her friends, really wishing she was normal like them...Well, normal is the wrong term when it comes to anybody attending this school. So let's just go with happy instead. Apart from Jade that is. Tori was on medication for awhile, but she didn't have the money to get a new batch, and she didn't want to bother her parents with such a stupid request, so she just left it. Pretending all was fine with the world. But everything's not fine. Tori's breaking apart and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to burden anyone else with her problems, they all have their own to deal with. And they wouldn't understand anyway. 'It's all in your head' they'll say 'There are people out there who have it much worse than you, so stop complaining' 'Attention Whore'. It could go on for miles. Tori's nails dig into her wrist under the table, leaving dark imprints behind as the thoughts pile up. Completely oblivious to her friends' conversation.
God, I'm so fucking stupid. I don't know how these guys can tolerate being around me. I'm completely worthless, I don't deserve friends as great these. Hm. I don't deserve anything good at all. What's the point in all this? What's the point in going on? The gang will get sick of me and find someone else. It always happens, I'm just the replaceable. Nothing's permanent for me. I'm always there for them when they need it, but when I need them, they're busy. And I don't want to get in the way of that. It's all important, I'm not. I'm nothing. I only got into this school on pure luck, I don't have any decent talents. But it doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters. I'm failing the subjects. Maybe if I just...Just go, their lives will be better without me. Much, much better.
"Yo, Tori. Yo. Chica." Tori snaps back into reality and glances around, all eyes on her.
"Mm, yeah..?"
"It's time for class. We better get going." Replies Beck.
Tori clears her throat and shakes her head "No. No, I uh...I'm not feeling all that good. So I think I'm just going to go home." She swallows hard and nods as she grabs her bag and stands up. Everyone just bids her goodbye and 'get well soon' as she walks off. Except for Jade, who watches Tori leave with suspicious/cautious eyes. The Vega girl makes it back to an empty house and wanders up the stairs, dumping her bag on the desk. She numbly sits down on the edge of her bed and stares ahead at the wall for a few minutes before she suddenly breaks down. Tears glisten in her eyes and they roll down her cheeks, one right after the other. She hugs her knees to her chest as she sobs, and sobs and sobs. No matter how much she cries, she'll never feel better. That feeling in her chest persists and grows stronger to an uncomfortable level. After what seemed like hours, her cries finally die down, and her expression becomes blank. Void of any and all emotion. The tears gradually stop rolling down her face. Her gaze fixes upon the bath in her ensuite, staring at it for a minute longer before standing up and walking into the bathroom like a zombie. She turns the taps on, filling the bath right up, and as she waits, Tori digs around through the cabinet and finds her hidden stash of razors. The broken girl takes one and slides into the bath in her clothes. Vega cries again but only softly then brings up the razor and her arm, she grunts and grits her teeth as she drags the sharp tool across her skin, making sure to get in deep. Blood starts pouring out from her veins and she moves onto her other arm, again cutting deeply down along her wrist. The blood trickles into the water and slowly turns it red as the girl bleeds out. Tori tilts her head back against the wall and closes her eyes as she cries.
Jade walks into the house and glances around before heading up the stairs, trying to find the Vega girl. She had a feeling something was up and wanted to check it out. The pale goth girl steps into Tori's room and looks around, her eyes fall on a puddle of water leaking out from under the door. Jade frowns deeply and slowly pushes the door open, freezing at what she saw in front of her. Jade rushes over and kneels down. "Vega? Vega?! Tori, come on. Tori, please, don't do this. Vega!" Jade shouts in panic. She brings out her phone and quickly dials 911 as her other arm holds Tori's body up. "Vega, please. Oh God. Don't be dead yet. Please don't die." Jade's voice starts cracking as she tries to hold back the sobs.
It's completely up to the viewer's imagination if Tori lives or if she dies. Sorry it's lame, it's kind of hard to pour your heart and feelings out when you're falling apart. :D Rate and review, I guess. You don't have to. But it would be nice to know I did an okay job.