(An Altered Destiny)
by Jim Robert Bader
(Based on the Works of Rumiko Takahashi)
Part One.
Airen Iinazuke
Birthdays were supposed to be a happy occasion, a time for rejoicing when the celebration of life gave way to new possibilities, new paths left open. In China the occasion was marked by family and friends coming together to wish a joyous New Year of rebirth where the memory of one's ancestors was honored by the promise that new life would be added in time to the family ledgers.
For Shampoo the advent of her eighteenth birthday was not a happy occasion. For two years of her life she had been pursing a dream, and now that dream was all but finally over. She would be eighteen and still single, and in all likelihood she would not live to see another birthday when this happened.
"Ranma," she said softly, her voice conveying a sadness beyond her years as thoughts of surrender to the dark made whatever small joys she might have seem trivial and empty. In three days she would be a woman, and would acknowledge her failure. After that what passed for her life would be over, and she would strangely not regret its passing. Far better to go now than endure the long torture that awaited her in years that were forthcoming.
Normally Mousse would be spying on her about this point, trying to offer what support he could, even though he knew she would have none of him. Two years had given her time to see him for the man he was, and while there were many admirable qualities within him, there was nothing there that she sincerely wanted. She had made that plain to him at last, and after much struggle on his part he had finally relented, giving her the privacy she had always craved rather than his cloying presence.
"Ranma," Shampoo sighed, staring up at nothing, seeing memories and reflections of better times, of fonder memories, now slowly turning to ashes. He was not hers to claim, had never been hers, belonged to someone else whom she hated with a passion, and so she had lost to the one enemy she had never had any hope of defeating.
Great Grandmother Cologne was making the preparations for their return to China, but Shampoo could not have cared less if she had made the effort. There was nothing for her in China, just as there was nothing now in Nerima. Two years of her life wasted, down the drain, and all for naught. She had made friends and enjoyed many adventures in that time, but now it was all over. Life itself was losing its glamour and all that was left to her was the emptiness of her continual existence.
Oh yes, the laws said that she had broken the sacred trust of the Amazons and was fit only for punishment, but the law meant less to her now than the na ve little girl who had made her way from the interior of China on a quest of vengeance that would never be completed. She had fallen in love with a man who was in every way what she desired, and lost him, had never had him, never would have him for her own. The thought of this almost crushed her soul, so even if Cologne could work something out with the tribe to spare her from death or exile it ultimately would not matter. Ranma was marrying Akane, and so her life was over.
"Well, aren't you a pathetic sight."
Shampoo turned, grateful for the intrusion, glad to feel something besides her misery as she scanned the empty restaurant until she set eyes on her once hated rival, the other loser in romance. This one also claimed her Airen for herself, but her claim was based on a promise, while Shampoo's claim was a matter of law and willing submission. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the familiar face, then with as much resentment as she could manage she asked, "What you want, Spatula Girl?"
The sad smile in Ukyo's face was a reflection of her own misery as she said, "Ranma-Honey told you the same thing he told me, right? Guess the old saying is 'Misery loves company,' although in our case it's more like 'Two Birds of a Feather.' We're in the same boat, so I thought maybe you'd like..."
"Shampoo no like be with girl who think she weak and need handhold!" Shampoo snapped as she whirled around, "Leave restaurant now, or you find how weak Shampoo is, you stupid Japanese Tomboy!"
"Whoah!" Ukyo said without reacting as expected, "Touched a nerve, did I? I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to step on anybody's toes here, Shampoo. I'm sorry if I surprised you, I just wanted to talk. I thought maybe you might want to talk instead of fight for a change. After all, it won't make any difference who wins any more...we both lost and we both know it."
Shampoo felt the edge of her anger leave her and almost wept as if she were losing another companion, "Shampoo no lose...Shampoo just tired of always fighting. No want to fight with Spatula Girl. It not mean anything anymore..." she lowered her gaze and said, "Nothing matter anymore. Shampoo tired of everything, just want to be alone now..."
"Alone?" Ukyo sniffed, "Trust me, Honey, alone is the last thing you need at the moment. I've been alone since I chased Konatsu out of the restaurant and tried to drink myself under the table with the Saki bottle I normally keep for special orders. An hour ago I even tried to kill myself, if you can believe it..."
"Hiyaa?" that did surprise Shampoo, "Why you do that?"
"Why do you think," Ukyo snorted, "I turned on the gas without the pilot lights and flooded the restaurant with methane. One spark and it would have been a giant crater where my place was staying, but at the last minute something stopped me."
"You come to senses?" Shampoo asked with more interest than she would have believed possible. For the first time she did not see a hated rival in Ukyo but rather a dark reflection of her own depression.
"I'm not sure what to call it," Ukyo said, "Divine intervention, or maybe just a random encounter with a higher power. All I know is I stopped myself in time, and then I thought of you and came over here as fast as I could manage. Something told me you were feeling the exact same way I was before I opened up the windows and aired out my restaurant.
"What you mean?" Shampoo pretended ignorance.
In reply Ukyo let fly one of her spatula-shaped shuriken, and down from the rafters fell a loop of rope that had been dangling from the ceiling.
"Hanging yourself, Shampoo?" Ukyo sighed, "That's so tacky. You ever see how long it takes somebody to die that way? Believe me, it isn't pretty."
"Why you care?" Shampoo asked indifferently, "You no try to stop me..."
"Actually," Ukyo said, "I'm here to help...in any way I can. I know exactly how you feel, Shampoo...maybe even a little more than you since I knew Ranma longer..."
"You know nothing," Shampoo snorted, "Stupid outsider, what you know of how Amazon girl feel when she lose husband to jealous, violent, obsessive gorilla girl? Shampoo weak because she no can win love of Ailen..."
"Just because Ranma Honey is an idiot is no reason for you to feel small," Ukyo sighed, "I've been berating myself for being less attractive to him than Akane, of all people! I mean, have you looked in a mirror lately, Shampoo-Honey? The guy who couldn't find you attractive is either Gay or not breathing!"
"You mean that as compliment?" Shampoo sat down near to where Ukyo was and sulked, "No waste time. Shampoo fail to uphold law of Amazon, now she must be punished according to law..."
"You mean they're going to kill you?" Ukyo said in surprise and horror.
Shampoo snorted at that, "You think Joketsuzoku full of barbarians? No kill Shampoo for failure to get husband. Shampoo have other punishment, much loss of face, dishonor to family, maybe exile or strip of Amazon status. Shampoo live because Great Grandmother say she no at fault for losing to Akane. It Shampoo...it my decision to make end of miserable life because I girl who fail to win heart of Ranma, and I no want live in world where he belong to Akane."
Ukyo stared at her onetime rival for the longest time before speaking again, "And what if there's another option."
"What?" Shampoo snorted, "Marry Mousse? I rather be dead either way! Him finally get hint and leave Shampoo alone. There no man Shampoo want if no can have Ranma. Ranma no choose Shampoo, so Shampoo no have any reason worth living."
"And what if there was a reason for both of us to go on living?" Ukyo replied, then unwrapped something she had been clutching in one hand and showed it to Shampoo, who stared at it with surprise.
"Nanban Mirror?" Shampoo asked with a curious expression, "What you think we use it for?"
"Changing our past," Ukyo replied, "The guy who saved me from killing myself said I'd know what to do with it, and that's when I thought about you and realized that he meant for both of us to have it."
"Both of us?" Shampoo replied in confusion.
"I've thought it over, Honey," Ukyo said, "And if the Mirror can help us change just one significant event in our lives, then whatever we do has got to be the clincher. If I went back to when I was six and convinced my father not to engage me to Ranma then those ten years I spent training for revenge will never have happened, but that just doesn't satisfy me in any way, so I have to think of something else that would change everything, and then I remembered that I'd still have to deal with you even if I did prevent Ranma from becoming engaged to Akane. I wondered if maybe you'd rather go back to your first meeting with him when you thought he was a girl and challenged him to that match..."
"No," Shampoo sighed, "Maybe change everything she no fight girl-type Ranma and give kiss of death...but Shampoo no want to change that. That moment...special...moment when everything in Shampoo change, when she no longer be just a simple village girl training to be leader of Amazons. If Shampoo no chase Ranma from village she never learn how big world is, how small is village, and how much there is to know. Chasing Ranma gave Shampoo chance to live, and I no want to change that."
"Then...something else?" Ukyo asked with a sigh, "I'm desperate here. In a few days time Ranma's going to marry Akane, and we both know what a disaster that will be! I'd rather he married either one of us before he went ahead and fulfilled that stupid, Jackassed plan of their fathers to unite their families by having Ranma-Honey marry Akane."
"You also think she violent girl who beat up Ailen and maybe one day kill him out of anger?" Shampoo asked, voicing her darkest fears about Akane.
"Actually it's just as likely that they'll both live to a ripe old age together," Ukyo replied, "Either way it's a disaster...for us anyway. I agree that she's violent, and with that kind of temper I don't put anything beyond her, but I don't think Akane would deliberately try to kill Ranma. At least I don't think she would...not by intention."
Shampoo had to snort derisively at that comment, "Akane have much anger, no have much control, and Ranma always find just right thing to say to make her even more angry. I always wonder why she hit Ranma when she mad at Shampoo. Why she blame him because Shampoo try make Ranma like me? I never succeed, no matter what Shampoo try. He always go back to Akane."
"The Saotome pride," Ukyo sighed, "Ranma's as stubborn as a mule and he'd never admit that Akane's too much for him to handle. Besides that he's got his family's honor to worry about, not that he seems to much like it. It's his mother and father who keep pushing him into this, but I'm pretty sure it's more than just him going along with the marriage to please him."
Shampoo felt tears form in her eyes as she looked down, "He love Akane. Shampoo never understand why he love Akane, but he do. Shampoo...finally see that..."
"Same here," Ukyo said tiredly, "And I don't mind telling you it makes me sick to my stomach. Ranma can be such a Jackass, doing things the hard way, never because it's the right thing to do but because somebody challenged him to do it. I think in all honestly I'd rather he did marry you, or that you took him back to China so the two of you can have a litter of kittens together. At least I could live with the thought that he'd still be alive with somebody who doesn't hit him every day for the least little reason..."
Shampoo gave Ukyo a quiet look, "You no want him for yourself? You think Shampoo some violent bimbo who no care about Ranma except as prize to be won? Shampoo tell you something...she always think you more rival than Akane! You love Ailen, and Shampoo know you treat him right if he was husband. I die happy if I know you marry him, not Akane. At least Ranma live..." Shampoo looked down again, "Rather lose to opponent I respect, or respect more than Akane."
"So," Ukyo said quietly, "We're right back where we started this mess: how can we change the past to prevent Ranma from marrying Akane? Obviously we could go back to the night when the fathers got them engaged..."
"No," Shampoo said tiredly, "They engage children when Ranma born. Panda teach son to fight to make him great Martial Artist so he marry and keep traditions of Tendo dojo. If change that maybe change reason Ranma best at what he is...and Shampoo no want to change that about him."
"Then something that could break up the engagement before Ranma even met Akane," Ukyo sniffed, "I've thought about taking Akane out of the picture...not killing her, of course, but doing something that would disqualify her from being considered, but then the engagement would just fall on either Kasumi or Nabiki, and we'd be right back where we started..."
"Only worse," Shampoo snorted, "Kasumi mother Ranma, he no refuse her hand in marriage. As for sneaky girl...she sell Ranma body to science and make Ailen suffer experiments while she sell dojo for profit."
"I guess you're right," Ukyo considered, "So...what if Ranma knew he was engaged to me before he was introduced to Akane?"
"That maybe work," Shampoo nodded, "But Tendo-Saotome engagement older than when you engaged, so maybe Tendo-Sama insist he have better claim."
"Yeah, and besides that there's you to contend with," Ukyo sighed as she looked at her rival with a lopsided smile, "Unless we void your engagement, which you say you don't want, that just means that you and I wind up as rivals. I could live with that, maybe, just as long as one of us gets him in the end."
Shampoo gave Ukyo a funny glance, then stared off into space for a moment and said, "Maybe...maybe there is way. If Shampoo marry Ranma before he get to dojo, then when you meet him later on..."
"I'd just have my original grudge against him for abandoning me," Ukyo considered the point, "So maybe I won't fall in love with him as hard if I know there's already you in the picture. That could work, only...how do we do it?"
For the first time that whole night Shampoo honestly smiled, then she began to explain her plans, to which Ukyo nodded, and shortly thereafter they activated the Nanban mirror...
"C'mon, Pop! Get your butt in gear, she's gaining on us!"
Genma in Panda form just made an incoherent sound of acknowledgement while moving his legs as fast as a Panda could move upright. Ranma clung to his shoulders, her red hair whipping past her face as she glance over her shoulder and saw the angry girl who was pursuing them on foot.
"Man, doesn't she ever get tired?" Ranma exclaimed, "She's chased us over half of China already! You'd think by now she'd have gotten over it and stopped holding such a grudge about it! It's not like I'd ever be this upset if I'd lost to some dumb girl or nothing..."
The Panda attempted to voice his opinion on that, when all of a sudden a rope came up in his path and suddenly the bear's legs collided with it, spilling him forward.
"Hey!" Ranma cried as she found herself suddenly airborne, "What's the big idea, you clumsy or something?"
Behind them by fifty yards and closing Shampoo spied the panda bear taking a fall and saw her intended quarry suddenly vault into the air, somersaulting to a one-point landing, and she smiled with anticipation. The hunt was finally over, and soon she would have her retribution against this arrogant outsider female!
Oddly enough the idea did not thrill her as much as she would have imagined. It had been a good chase, the best hunt Shampoo had ever known, and to find it over at last was slightly disappointing. Nonetheless she prepared to make her final leap as she readied her sword, intending to slash down and finish her opponent in one swift blow, thereby redeeming her honor.
Ranma saw that Shampoo was closing on her and turned with the intent of fleeing once again when she saw something rushing at her head and instinctively blocked it, shattering the brass pot that had been about to collide with her. The contents, of course, were sprayed all over her, momentarily blinding her as Ranma shut her eyes and cried out in protest of the near-scalding he received.
He was so caught up with the pain that he almost failed to sense Shampoo's attack until she was upon him. Ranma moved instinctively, twisting to the side, only the sword thrust missed its mark by about half a meter. Ranma fell back in a fighting crouch and prepared to duck again as his foe turned and readied a slashing thrust.
Instead Shampoo stood where she was, looking at him in considerable confusion. She had been surprised that her cutting thrust had missed at all, but it was as if her arm chose to move too far to one side of its own volition, and now she was hesitating to make the follow through gesture. Her confusion was only doubled when she got a good look at her prey and realized that there was something very significant that was different about her.
This Ranma was suddenly much bigger than before, taller even than Shampoo, and her hair had turned jet black. In fact if it were not for the face and eyes being nearly the same she would have thought him a complete stranger...and then she looked down and her confusion became absolute.
"You...?" Shampoo tried to say in her best stumbling Japanese, a language she was only just beginning to master, "You no...girl?"
"Ah.." Ranma belatedly realized that he had changed once again and wondered how to explain this. He hoped the girl would mistake him for someone else and leave him alone, and sure enough she was looking from one side to the other as if seeking someone else, then she looked back at him with a very blank expression.
"I'm sorry...Miss?" Ranma tried lamely, "Are you looking for somebody?"
Shampoo dropped her sword, then very slowly took a step forward, extending one hand to place the flat of her palm against his chest, then she began to feel him over while Ranma endured this scrutiny with a nervous expression. Finally she voiced her conclusion, "You man?"
"Uh, yeah," Ranma said, "That's right, I'm a guy, always have been. So if you're looking for someone else..."
Shampoo frowned, "You no try trick Shampoo by hiding arrogant girl? You no magician who make girl disappear so you take place?"
"Why would I want to do that?" Ranma asked, and something in his expression, voice and mannerisms clinched the argument as far as Shampoo was concerned.
She felt her knees turn to icewater as she said the words, "Jusenkyo?"
"Oh, uh...you know about that?"
Shampoo wordlessly sank to her knees. It was the only explanation, but...she looked up at the boy, comprehension slowly dawning on her which part of the Amazon law now applied. She suddenly felt as if her whole world had been turned upside down, but at last she bowed to destiny and rose to her feet again. The boy just readied himself to either fight and flee and watched her with obvious hesitation.
Shampoo found herself smiling as she walked slowly up to him, reached out to cup his face, then drew him into a kiss as the boy reacted with astonishment. She broke the kiss and said softly, "Wo ai ni."
"Wo ai ni?" he said with no clear comprehension, but that did not matter at this point. The deed was done and suddenly Shampoo's heart felt a whole lot lighter in her chest. She smiled with radiant delight and added, "Woda Ailen," then kissed him again with such tenderness that the boy's pig tail stood on end and he sputtered out, "B-but I thought you didn't like me...?"
Two figures emerged from the concealment of the bushes, watching the trio return in the direction they first headed from, then Ukyo turned to her companion and said, "That worked like a charm."
"You had doubts?" Shampoo asked her.
"Well, as a matter of fact, yeah," Ukyo rubbed the back of her head with one hand, "It always seems like any time either one of us plans something it always seems to backfire against us in some way. So...how did you make your other self miss like that? I thought the other you was going to nail him for certain."
Shampoo simply shook her head, "I no kill him, even when I have chance. Took Shampoo time to realize that she no can kill an unarmed opponent. I very angry about losing match, but I no hate girl that much, so I pull blade at last second. It not first time it happen, but always Shampoo convince herself she slip or grow careless. Ranma not know he never in any real danger."
"You mean...all this time you've been threatening to kill people...and you really can't kill them?" Ukyo said in confusion.
"No kill in cold blood," Shampoo replied, "Maybe if they really bad I find reason to kill, but no kill girl who only crime is she beat Shampoo. Like I say before, I happy to chase girl as excuse to get away from village and elder. Now she going back to village to seek advise of elder and bring Ranma with her."
"Only he's going to try and talk himself out of the marriage," Ukyo sniffed, "What do you think is going to happen when he finds out he can't out-bargain Cologne?"
"I not know," Shampoo smiled, "That make it exciting. New timeline have possibilities never think of before. Maybe stick around and see what happen."
Ukyo smiled, "I'm with you there. Nothing left for us to do back in our own timeline, and I'm in no hurry to go back. What say we go forward a bit instead and find out what happens next?"
"I like that," Shampoo smiled, and together the girls laid hands on the Nanban mirror and concentrated...
One month later in Nerima a curious trio was seen walking the streets of the province, two girls and a giant panda, each bearing weighty backpacks.
"So," the smaller redhead of the trio said, "How much longer until we get to this friend's place? You said this guy used to train with you when you were younger?"
The panda just growled assent, looking sullen and miserable as if walking to a gallows.
"Haiya?" Shampoo turned her head to glance sideways at the crowd of people pointing at them, "Ailen, why people stare at us? No see Amazon girl before?"
"Might be your haircolor," Ranma smiled, "But it's more likely Pop whose drawing all the attention. Just ignore them unless they come from a zoo or something and they'd be willing to take him off our hands..." Ranma paused as the angry growls were aimed in his direction, "Relax, Pops, I'm just joking. If anybody does ask what we're doing, though, I'll just tell them we're with a traveling circus and leave it at that. Besides, it's not like it means anything with a bunch of total strangers."
The panda suddenly paused and turned his head, then made another growing noise and pointed with a paw. Ranma and Shampoo turned to see the sign that read, "Tendo Training Hall," with earned a wide smile as Ranma exclaimed, "All right! Now maybe we can find some food. I'm starving."
They entered the yard of a traditional-styled Japanese house and Ranma felt almost as though she were walking upon holy ground or something. The place had a feeling of grandeur and tradition and she instantly felt a liking for the place as she, her father and her wife walked up to the front door and rang the bell.
An instant later a very tall man and a cute brown-haired girl in a kimono answered the summons, took one look at the panda and made mute expressions of dismay before turning tail and retreating back inside the household.
Shampoo blinked her eyes then said, "Ailen...why Japanese people act so strange?"
"Beats me," Ranma shrugged, slipping off her backpack and removing her footwear, "Guess they're not used to meeting a pretty girl from China. I think we should wait here to reassure them that we're not going to attack them or anything and I..."
"Who the hell are you?" demanded an angry black-haired girl in a Karate gi who next appeared in the doorway, only to blink her eyes and stare in amazement, "A...panda?"
"Uh, hi," Ranma hailed, "Don't mind him, he's harmless. I'm Ranma Saotome, and this is Shampoo my...companion. I'm sorry to barge in you like this, but Pop said we could stop by on account of him being old friends with your father and all..."
"Wait a minute," the girl slowly turned to look her way, "You're Ranma Saotome? But..." her eyes drifted down, "I thought you were a guy!"
"Uh...yeah..." Ranma said sheepishly, "It's...kind of a long story. Look, can we come in? I'm starving, and Pop here needs a hot bath..."
"Pop?" the other girl said, "You're calling the panda your father?"
"Why hello," another voice said before Ranma could begin to form his reply, "You must be Ranma. Come on in, and who is your friend? Oh my...is that a Panda?"
Ranma smiled at the tall girl with the light brown hair done up in a pony tail that was nicely draped over one shoulder and then she elbowed the Panda and said, "Pop, behave yourself and don't embarrass up this time. It's been a long trip, can we trouble you for a bath? I know it's kind of sudden and all..."
"Not at all," the tall girl smiled, "I'm Kasumi Tendo, and this is my younger sister, Akane. And you are?" she directed the last question towards Shampoo, who bowed to her in reply and answered, "Shampoo Saotome."
"Saotome?" Akane replied, glancing from her to the redhead, "Is she your sister?"
"Not exactly," Ranma sighed, "I'll explain later..."
Two shadows detached themselves from the concealment of a tree, then one said to the other, "Glad we decided to stick around. This just keeps getting better and better."
"Hiyaa," the other girl replied, "Poor Ranma. You no think he going to like Akane anyway?"
"I don't know, Sugar," Ukyo smiled, "But it ought to be worth sticking around a while longer. Don't tell me you're tired of this little jaunt already?"
"No," Shampoo smiled, "Only getting to really good parts. This one fun adventure, and we no even get to where you come in yet."
"All part of the surprise," Ukyo replied, "I didn't actually get to watch things from this angle the first time they happened. It's a whole new experience for me."
"Me too," Shampoo agreed, "Just keep out of sight and we watch what happen."
"Count on it, Sugar," Ukyo grinned, "My ancestors were Ninja, remember? I'm sticking to the walls like flypaper. I wouldn't want to spoil the fun now that things are really starting to happen..."
"Jusenkyo?" Akane said, "You guys must be kidding!"
"I wish I was," said Ranma, turning to the bald headed man who had taken the place of the Panda, "Pop here thought it was a special training ground to work on our technique. Some training ground," she glanced down at herself in disgust.
"So," said the middle child, Nabiki, who was eyeing Ranma with clear disappointment, "What do you usually look like when you're not under a magic curse, Ranma?"
"Well..." Ranma started to say when Shampoo spoke up on her behalf.
"Airen very strong, very handsome boy, he much man, easily best man Shampoo ever meet," the Amazon said brightly as Ranma flushed crimson, "He cute in girl form, but you see him as real self you know he only man Shampoo call Ailen."
"You speak very fond of him," Kasumi said pleasantly, "You must love Ranma very much to follow him...I mean her all the way from China."
"Ayaa," Shampoo turned her reddish brown eyes towards Ranma and said, "Wo ai ni. Woda Ailen, where you go, Shampoo goes. Ailen now whole life to Shampoo. You enemies, Shampoo's enemies, you friends Shampoo call friends. Where you call home is home to Shampoo."
"Fascinating," said Soun, whose expression was fixed into a scowl, "But why can't Ranma change back into his real body like his father? Why is his curse different?"
"We were just coming to that part," replied Genma, "When Shampoo learned the truth about Ranma she insisted that we accompany her back to her village so that we could consult with the Elders and try to find a way to resolve this mess that was caused by the boy's carelessness..."
"Hey!" Ranma protested, "Who was it that ate her first prize alongside me anyway? If I hadn't fought her they would have kept you around as a stuffed pet to entertain their children with! Nobody told me about any dumb laws that says an outsider who beats an Amazon has to marry her..."
"Nonetheless," said Nabiki, "It happened...and now you're telling us that you're married to this lady?"
Ranma sighed, "By their laws...I'm afraid so. Doesn't even help that I'm not a guy anymore...the law even allows for same sex marriages, only in that case I gain Shampoo's status as the village Champion. That's why we came to Japan, to find a cure for this mess..."
"A mess that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't opened your big mouth and insulted that Musk Prince," Genma informed him.
"Well he had it coming!" Ranma snapped at her father, "He didn't have to douse me with the waters from that Chiisuiton pot of his! It froze me in this form so that even hot water can't turn me back into a guy! The reason we're here is because Shampoo's great grandmother, the Tribal Matriarch, said that there's this other artifact called the Kiifuiton which is supposed to unlock the curse so it works normally and I can turn back into a guy again. Otherwise..." her tone fell and a slightly depressed look crossed her features.
Very quietly Shampoo said, "We find Kiifuiton, Ranma, we restore you manhood. Shampoo no want you be unhappy. She help you become Ailen she gladly marry."
"Saotome," Soun turned an angry glare Genma's way, "How could you allow something like this to happen? What of our pledge to unite our families? Are you telling me that you went along with all this and freely went back on your word of honor?"
"What?" Ranma blinked, "What are you talking about? What promise? What word of honor?"
"Good grief," Akane snorted, "Don't tell me he never told you about that stupid promise our fathers made when we were just children?"
"Promise?" Ranma turned an angry glare her father's way, "Pop...what have you gotten me into this time? Don't tell me it involves food again? Why I ought to..."
"Then you don't know," Nabiki remarked, "Your father agreed with our father to marry one of us to you when we came of age. According to our Dad one of us is supposed to become your iinazuke."
"WHAT?!" Ranma was shocked upright by that statement, "Marry one of you? But...what...?"
"Oh my," Kasumi said, "I guess that won't be possible now since you already have a wife and she seems to agree with you so nicely..."
"Out of the question!" Soun said, "I forbid it! You cannot go back on your word like this, Saotome! Not without giving me satisfaction!"
"But...Tendo-kun," Genma said, "I was coming here to try and work something out with you. I know the boy got himself into this mess, but I'm sure we can find a way to work things out so that everybody can be happy..."
"What?" Ranma was on her feet at last, "Work something out? Are you telling me you think I should just give Shampoo the heave-ho? Weren't you listening back at that village when the Elder explained to us what would happen to Shampoo if we disgraced her and I didn't agree to be her husband? How dare you tell me now to just ignore her!"
"Son," Genma replied, "It isn't like that..."
"Oh no?" Ranma scoffed, "What about all your fancy big words when you told me to pay her more attention and treat her right? Well I did, and you know something? Shampoo's the best friend I've ever had, as good a companion as I could ever ask for, and she cooks up a storm if you let her, which is a lot better than the slop you make when it's your turn to do the cooking!"
"Ranma," Shampoo said.
"I'm not leaving her, you got that?" Ranma demanded hotly, "I may not have asked for this, but now that we're stuck with each other, there is absolutely no way that I'm going to turn my back on Shampoo, so get those stupid ideas out of your head right now and..."
"Ranma," Shampoo smiled, this time getting her attention, "It all right. Shampoo knows you love her, she make you good wife, and no way stupid panda-man change her mind about Ailen."
"Shampoo," Ranma said softly, turning back to look at the Amazon, who stood up and approached her with a smile, then leaned over and kissed her on the mouth, saying, "Wo ai ni. Shampoo bound to you for life. We find Kiifuiton and get you manhood back, then we live happy as husband and wife. You no regret you stand by Shampoo, Ailen."
"Ah...ah..." Ranma stood there stunned as Nabiki eyed her slyly and said, "How sweet. Looks like you've got yourself a real prize there, Saotome."
"My, they do make a very cute couple," Kasumi said with a pleasant expression.
"I-I don't believe it," Akane murmured faintly with her own expression stunned to incredulity, "She kissed him...and they're both girls..."
"What's the matter, Sis?" Nabiki smiled, "Are you jealous."
"What-jealous?" Akane sputtered, "Of him?"
"Bet you'd like to get away with kissing another girl like that," Nabiki said smugly, "After all, you're always saying you hate boys, so maybe another girl's what you're after..."
"Y-You take that back!" Akane rose to her knees shaking in outrage as Nabiki just returned her look with a lazy, unaffected expression.
"Hey, what's with the attitude?" Ranma asked as she recovered her wits, "Are you some kind of uncute tomboy or something?"
"What?" this time Akane rose to her feet, "What did you say? I can't believe you just called me that!"
"What? Uncute Tomboy?" Ranma smiled, then suddenly she darted out of the way as Akane threw a savage kick in her direction, "Hey, what are you getting mad a me for? You really are uncute!"
Akane was about to press her attack when Shampoo was suddenly between them, and before Akane could pull her swing the Amazon thrust two fingers forward and all at once Akane went flying backwards to land on the floor in a heap. She sputtered and looked up from her prone position to see Shampoo eyeing her with a cross expression.
"You no pick fight with Ailen," Shampoo said simply, "Fight Shampoo first if you want fight with Ailen."
"Girls," Nabiki suavely rose to her feet and said, "No fighting inside the house. You want to settle this with fists, we have a dojo for just that purpose."
"Fine with me!" Akane said as she rose to her feet, rubbing her chest where the Amazon had touched her, "You just got lucky with that maneuver. Try that again and I'll cream you!"
"I wouldn't be that quick to boast if I were you," Ranma said, "Shampoo's a heck of a lot better at this stuff than anybody I've ever had to go up against, except maybe that Musk Princess, and she fights to win. You can get hurt if you push her buttons the wrong way."
"We'll see about that," Akane said in a huff, and a few moments later the family was gathered about the inside of the Tendo dojo.
Ranma looked around, feeling the age and reverence of the place as she said, "Quite a set up you've got here, Mister Tendo. This has been in the family for a few generations?"
"Yes," Soun replied, his eyes focused upon his little girl, who was facing off with Shampoo, who seemed incredibly calm and poised in spite of the angry glare in the Akane's expression.
"You both know the rules?" Nabiki asked, "Three falls, no holds blocked, and the first one who concedes loses the match. Agreed?" Both girls nodded compliance.
"Shampoo," Ranma said, "Try not to hurt her too bad, all right? This is just a friendly match, and we're guests for the night. Besides, it's not her fault she's such an uncute Tomboy."
"OOOOHHHH!" Akane snarled, "You're next, you Pervert! Once I deal with your girlfriend I'm teaching you to watch who you call a Tomboy!"
"Pervert?" Ranma straightened out, "Hey, where do you get off calling me that? It's not my fault I'm a guy trapped in a girl's body!"
"Enough, you two," Genma said, turning to the prospective combatants, "Begin."
The fight was over in less than twenty seconds. Akane came at the Amazon in a rush and Shampoo vaulted over her head, then tapped her on the back as she landed behind her. Akane whirled and launched an all-out assault with feet and fists flying with the speed of striking cobras. She might as well have been standing still for all the good her movements did her as Shampoo toyed with her for the first few blows then launched her own counter assault that ended with Akane landing in a heap at the far end of the dojo, only barely conscious.
"Oh my," Kasumi said, "I hope Akane will be all right."
"She'll live," Ranma sounded almost bored as she sat with arms folded over her chest, "Shampoo was taking it real easy on her on account of her being such a slowpoke."
"Sounds like you're talking from experience," Nabiki eyed the redhead coyly, filing away the information about Ranma's calling her sister a "slowpoke" for future reference.
"My little girl!" Soun wailed as he went to check on his daughter's condition, Kasumi moving to help him.
Ranma stood up and said, "You feel warmed enough for some sparring, Shampoo? I've been feeling a little tense for the last hour and I could use the workout."
Shampoo's expression became one of delight, then shifted to a smile of pure calculation, "I be happy give you workout, Ailen. Slowpoke girl barely give Shampoo chance to stretch. We show her how we fight, maybe she learn something."
"Why you...!" Akane started to protest when she thought better of sitting up too quickly, "Just give me another few minutes to catch my breath..."
"Take your time," Ranma said as she and Shampoo squared off, saluted each other, then went into an all-out melee with bodies moving like a blur, kicking up a wind with their furious exchanges of kicks and punches from one end of the dojo to the other.
"Wow," Nabiki tried and failed to sound unimpressed, "They are good..."
"Ranma's the best I've ever trained," Genma replied, "And that Amazon always gives him a good workout. The two do make a pretty formidable team...it's just a shame about those laws of hers. If she wasn't engaged to my son I'd be tempted to adopt her."
"Engaged?" Nabiki eyed the man with a slight frown, "Sounds to me more like they're already married."
"Fortunately they've never consummated the marriage," Genma replied with arms folded over his chest, "I happen to know because I've been watching them like a hawk and have yet to witness a single moment when they could have been intimate together."
"Indeed?" Soun brightened, "Then there's hope after all! So long as the marriage isn't consummated, our pledge to marry our children can still become a reality..."
"What?" even Akane sounded shocked by that, "You've got to be kidding!"
"You'd ignore their wishes and insist on going ahead with this farce?" Nabiki voiced her disapproval.
"Father, how could you even think of such a thing?" Kasumi asked, "Can't you see how happy they are together?"
Said happy couple were presently locked in a life-and-death struggle for supremacy with Shampoo currently having the edge due to Ranma's reluctance to hit back at the other girl. She did manage to break the hold Shampoo had placed around her and got the leverage she needed to flip the Amazon over. Shampoo caught herself with one hand and flipped back to her feet as the two came at each other again in an all-out onslaught that would have been more appropriate on a pair of snarling wildcats. Yet somehow, in spite of it all, they did indeed seem happy.
"A cute couple indeed," Nabiki smiled as she began to wonder if there were some way that she could make a profit out of this new situation.
"Hmmmph," Akane tried to sound unimpressed and failed even more spectacularly than her sister.
"I hope they don't tire themselves out too much," Kasumi remarked, "They must have had a rough day, what with all that traveling from China."
"I'll admit it is a problem," Genma remarked to his old friend in a low, conspiratorial whisper, "Those two get along so well, I'd hate to come between them."
"The honor of both our families are at stake, Saotome," Soun replied, "We will simply have to think of a way to make everything right for both parties..."
"Can you believe those two?" Ukyo remarked from their place of concealment.
"Some things never change," Shampoo agreed with a tone of casual understatement.
"Well, at least things seem to be working out for you on this timeline," Ukyo remarked, "Ranma even seems to have accepted you as his wife, though the same-
sex thing seems to make him pretty nervous."
"I hope other self find way to overcome that," Shampoo smiled, then eyed Ukyo to one side, "We still not know how this affect you..."
"One thing at a time, Sugar," Ukyo said, then she began to chuckle, "Have to admit, though, it was a gas watching your other self pound the tar out of Akane."
"That very satisfying," Shampoo said smugly, "Wanted to do that from first time we meet, never had opportunity after Xi Fang Giao incident."
"I gotta admit that hanging around in this timeline certainly has a lot of entertainment value," Ukyo observed, "Only what do you suppose those two jerks are up to? You don't think they're actually going to insist that one of Soun's daughter marries Ranma-honey?"
"Like to see them try," Shampoo sniffed, "Akane no look willing to go along, and sneaky-girl Nabiki too clever to be tricked into match. Nice girl Kasumi do what father says, but she know how to avoid being made to do thing she no want do. Besides, she want nice doctor Tofu."
"Only she doesn't know that Tofu wants her as well," Ukyo noted, "Let's watch some more and see what they come up with. They'd better not try and force Ranma-Honey to marry that tomboy..."
"Agree," Shampoo smiled and said, "But who you call Tomboy?"
"MMmm," Ukyo fumed a bit over that then sighed, "All right, point taken."
"You know," Shampoo purred, "Never say this before, but you cute girl. Why you always dress like man?"
"Force of habit, Sugar," Ukyo sighed, "Never did feel all that comfortable in dresses."
"Shampoo see," Shampoo said with a sly arch to her tone, "Thought maybe it because you really cute guy in disguise and this you excuse to make ladies drop guard around you."
"What?" Ukyo was outraged, "You take that back and..."
"Shhh!" Shampoo urged, "No let anyone know we here, right? Besides, things getting good again. Other Shampoo and Ranma share bath together. Is good Japanese custom."
"You just think that because you'd like to get him in the tub that way on a voluntary basis," Ukyo snorted when she took notice of something else, "Hey, isn't Akane headed towards the same bath? You don't think...?"
There was a sharp exchange of shouts, a brief scream, then Ranma's voice arched with an angry, "Hey, is it too much to ask for a little privacy in here?"
Shampoo sighed, "Some thing's inevitable."
"The more things change," Ukyo sighed, sitting back to get a more comfortable perch in the tree as they listened in on the fireworks taking place inside the walls of the Tendo household...
Continued.
Comments/Criticism/Temporal Interdimensional Hyperdynamics: shadowmane
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