Never Would Predict

by Organometallic Tetrahedron

A series of nonsensical drabbles about the anime and games. From anime physics to Pokémon professors, the random narrator questions, debates, and theorizes about various strange phenomena in the Pokémon universe, often arriving at unexpected conclusions. Arguments lack logic at times and thus are not meant to be taken seriously. Chapters can be read out of order.

1. On Anime Physics

On Anime Physics

We have always been taught that the fundamental laws of physics cannot be broken, for or else the entire universe would fall into chaos. Even in the world of Pokemon, where I, the narrator, reside, this is no exception. After all, our professors, inventors, and criminal organizations rely heavily on scientific principles.

There are many truths that seem to defy the formulations of Newton, Einstein, and others in this world, especially since many Pokemon attacks are capable of creating mass, an ability which has been adopted by some trainers who carry the contents of their entire kitchen in small backpacks. The Pokeball itself has been the subject of controversy, which explains why much of the outside world remains doubtful to this day regarding the very existence of Pokemon. Here, I assure you that science does work in the world of Pokemon, just not in a way that one would normally expect.

Perhaps the largest source of criticism of Pokemon has to do with conservation of mass. When Pokemon use attacks, they seem to create mass out of empty space, which appears to be a violation of thermodynamics. However, we must understand that Pokemon are very skilled in the manipulation of energy, or else none of their special attacks would work and most of their physical attacks would be reduced to mere cat fights. As we know from nuclear reactions, it is possibly to interconvert between mass and energy, which is what enables Pokemon to create mass.

But, it takes almost a quadrillion joules of energy to make one gram of rocks for a stone edge attack. If Pokemon are constantly creating mass, why is it that the Pokemon world does not suffer from major glacial outbreaks on a daily basis? The answer is simply that Pokemon release nearly the same amount of energy from the destruction of that mass immediately after it is used, which also explains why attacks vanish after hitting their targets. This may bother some people, however, since it seems to imply that if all Pokemon in the world attack at once, the temperature would drop so low that humans would be at risk of extinction. Surely, that is not possible, right?

Rest assured that even if there is an imbalance between attacks and the destruction of attacks, there would not be any local energy shortages, at least not on the earth plane. The justification for this brings us to the next point of contention - how do Pokeballs work? They work by storing Pokemon in the form of energy in other dimensions of time and space controlled by Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina. This is where all of the energy distortions caused by Pokemon attacks go as well, which is why the Earth plane is essentially unaffected by all of these events. This is also the mechanism by which the move teleport functions.

I am, in fact, a firm believer that this basic energy argument always works. That is, until I meet a very peculiar trio of people belonging to Team Rocket.

"Pikachu, use thunderbolt!" A bright flash of electricity strikes a meowth-shaped hot air balloon. An explosion can be seen and heard, lifting up dust and debris from the ground. "Team Rocket is blasting off again!"

"Pikachu, thunderbolt! Piplup, bubblebeam!" The combined attack strikes its target and sets off a huge explosion. "Team Rocket is blasting off again!"

"Pikachu, thunderbolt! Fennekin, flamethrower! Chespin, pin missile!"-

Wait. Something is not right. How do three people, no matter how resilient, survive so many explosions? How come the explosion only ever affects Team Rocket and never their surroundings, and how do they land at terminal velocity without even leaving a dent in the ground? These are the types of questions that have almost convinced me to lose complete faith in physics for a time. Team Rocket defies all scientific principles.

After following the trio for several years, I have finally come up with a plausible explanation. These experiences of Team Rocket can only be resolved by considering the possibility that these "villains" are sending all of the energy associated with these explosions to those alternate dimensions of space that other trainers exploit on a constant basis. Perhaps, instead of destroying science, they exist to protect the universe from unsustainable actions of other Pokemon and trainers.

Since observing the many miracles endured by this group of villains, I have become convinced that they are the most altruistic people to exist in the world of Pokemon. The increase in entropy of the universe required to counterbalance the assembly of ordered arrangements of mass such as Pokemon attacks can easily destroy the Pokemon world within the next century, especially with humans also attempting the same things with their magic satchels. Thus, it is only by constantly blasting off Team Rocket that we maintain the delicate balance of the universe, while adhering to the laws of thermodynamics.

So, the next time we conjure the contents of our entire kitchen from our backpacks, we should thank these three special members of Team Rocket, whose stubborn persistence over the years has become one of the largest sources of entropy for the benefit of human civilization. There is something truly magical about people who make it their daily routine to fly across the sky, with freefall as their main mode of transportation.

Never would I have predicted that Team Rocket could truly protect the world from devastation.