Rating: G
Gender: Humour
Summary: Have you ever wondered who jinxed the DADA position?
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to JKR.
Author: Besnaped
THE DADA JINX
Professor Severus Snape set the marking quill aside and rose with a sigh from his highback chair, rubbing on the bridge of his nose with one hand and straitening stacks of parchments on his table with another. He then proceeded to check the protecting spells on the multiple potions cupboards, secured his office with several anti-intrusion charms, locked the dungeon classroom and made for his private quaters, renewing the jinx on the DADA position on his way. Having to constanstly maintain such a complex jinx was wearing him down terribly, so no wonder he had no energy left for a shower. He collapsed on the bed without changing his robes.
The morning found him lying in a shivering heap on top of the covers, sobbing through a nightmare of having forgotten to renew the jinx. Bloodshot eyes snapped open in a manner more resolute than startled, and he swept out of the dungeons and towards the Great Hall not even pausing to check on his appearence. He expertly rammed his way through the unsuspecting herds of students starting to fill the passages, whose half-stiffled yelps were no more of a determent to him than the pleading cries of his cobwebbed mirror.
Burstling into the Great Hall only to find once again that the jinx has not yet worked and that the current DADA professor was indeed still alive and well, sitting unconcerned at the Staff Table, had the expectedly undermining effect on Snape's already innate foul mood, fully preparing him for the day of surviving dreads such as Longbottom by crashing them first. Their impretinent flout towards so dear to his soul a discipline persisted day by day at painfully drawing blood from the poor as they were remainders of Potions Master's heart. Which is why he would rather welcome the excuse of teaching DADA and vocalize the hexes and curses students constantly made him think of, than to endure their continuously vandalizing potions. The fact that the jinx -predestined to take care of leaving the DADA position free for him to take- was directed towards the people who lived to remind everyone of his dark past and dark looks, nearly presenting Snape as a study case for their subject, was an undeniably satisfactory extra bonus.
Snape hissed, snarled and glared in acknowledgement of other teacher's greetings as he took his seat by the thrice damned new professor of DADA. According to the latest rumours, the current idiot thought him a vampire. 'Well, who am I to dispute the theory of an expert on the matter', Snape decided with sarcasm. Thus, he promptly shook his head making the greasy hair fall onto his face adding to the sombreness of his air, and fixed the vein on the neck of the DADA teacher with a sideway stare that hurt his eyes but in return should be clearly palpable on his neighbour's tanned skin. Snape also made sure to leave his food and drink as virtually untouched as he always did anyways, willing for the imbecil by his side to take a hint, and then followed the fool, who kept stumbling due to his panicked glancing back, out of the Grand Hall and half the way in the school corridors pointedly rounding the scarce rays of morning light falling through the windows and exagerating the always dramatic billowing of his black robes. That done, he returned to the dungeons savouring the anticipation of the image of the simpleton covered with garlic plaits and crucifixes the next time he'd see him.
Snape was not left dissappointed, for the very next meal, though with no crosses visible, the ridiculous turban of the clot was, by the smell of it, very obviously stuffed with garlic. Pretending that the odour bothered him more than it did, professor Snape for once felt his spirits rise at the success of his small deception, and sat to glare at the students with the appearance of dismal brooding that rather than reflect his actual state of mind was merely for their own benefit. The horror stories inspired to the teenagers by their Potions Master were trasmitted from generation to generation, his reputation becoming almost as legendary as that of the Slytherin ghost. So who was he to deprive the youngsters of the complete experience of studying at Hogwarts.
-the end (for now)-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok. The thing is that I have suddenly come out with the question of if the DADA position is truely jinxed then who jinxed it. As well as with the answer: obviously the guy who wants to take it.
But then I tried and tried, but still couldn't think of a plot to present this idea, and hence this short "story" was the only thing I came out with.
Can anyone give me an idea for a plot in which Snape jinxes the DADA professors? Or even better, write such a story yourself, just don't forget to mention that you got inspired by me. Ok? Call it a challenge.
And please let me know of any mistakes I made or whatever you think of the whole thing. Pretty please review!
Thanks for reading!
© Besnaped.
Gender: Humour
Summary: Have you ever wondered who jinxed the DADA position?
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to JKR.
Author: Besnaped
THE DADA JINX
Professor Severus Snape set the marking quill aside and rose with a sigh from his highback chair, rubbing on the bridge of his nose with one hand and straitening stacks of parchments on his table with another. He then proceeded to check the protecting spells on the multiple potions cupboards, secured his office with several anti-intrusion charms, locked the dungeon classroom and made for his private quaters, renewing the jinx on the DADA position on his way. Having to constanstly maintain such a complex jinx was wearing him down terribly, so no wonder he had no energy left for a shower. He collapsed on the bed without changing his robes.
The morning found him lying in a shivering heap on top of the covers, sobbing through a nightmare of having forgotten to renew the jinx. Bloodshot eyes snapped open in a manner more resolute than startled, and he swept out of the dungeons and towards the Great Hall not even pausing to check on his appearence. He expertly rammed his way through the unsuspecting herds of students starting to fill the passages, whose half-stiffled yelps were no more of a determent to him than the pleading cries of his cobwebbed mirror.
Burstling into the Great Hall only to find once again that the jinx has not yet worked and that the current DADA professor was indeed still alive and well, sitting unconcerned at the Staff Table, had the expectedly undermining effect on Snape's already innate foul mood, fully preparing him for the day of surviving dreads such as Longbottom by crashing them first. Their impretinent flout towards so dear to his soul a discipline persisted day by day at painfully drawing blood from the poor as they were remainders of Potions Master's heart. Which is why he would rather welcome the excuse of teaching DADA and vocalize the hexes and curses students constantly made him think of, than to endure their continuously vandalizing potions. The fact that the jinx -predestined to take care of leaving the DADA position free for him to take- was directed towards the people who lived to remind everyone of his dark past and dark looks, nearly presenting Snape as a study case for their subject, was an undeniably satisfactory extra bonus.
Snape hissed, snarled and glared in acknowledgement of other teacher's greetings as he took his seat by the thrice damned new professor of DADA. According to the latest rumours, the current idiot thought him a vampire. 'Well, who am I to dispute the theory of an expert on the matter', Snape decided with sarcasm. Thus, he promptly shook his head making the greasy hair fall onto his face adding to the sombreness of his air, and fixed the vein on the neck of the DADA teacher with a sideway stare that hurt his eyes but in return should be clearly palpable on his neighbour's tanned skin. Snape also made sure to leave his food and drink as virtually untouched as he always did anyways, willing for the imbecil by his side to take a hint, and then followed the fool, who kept stumbling due to his panicked glancing back, out of the Grand Hall and half the way in the school corridors pointedly rounding the scarce rays of morning light falling through the windows and exagerating the always dramatic billowing of his black robes. That done, he returned to the dungeons savouring the anticipation of the image of the simpleton covered with garlic plaits and crucifixes the next time he'd see him.
Snape was not left dissappointed, for the very next meal, though with no crosses visible, the ridiculous turban of the clot was, by the smell of it, very obviously stuffed with garlic. Pretending that the odour bothered him more than it did, professor Snape for once felt his spirits rise at the success of his small deception, and sat to glare at the students with the appearance of dismal brooding that rather than reflect his actual state of mind was merely for their own benefit. The horror stories inspired to the teenagers by their Potions Master were trasmitted from generation to generation, his reputation becoming almost as legendary as that of the Slytherin ghost. So who was he to deprive the youngsters of the complete experience of studying at Hogwarts.
-the end (for now)-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok. The thing is that I have suddenly come out with the question of if the DADA position is truely jinxed then who jinxed it. As well as with the answer: obviously the guy who wants to take it.
But then I tried and tried, but still couldn't think of a plot to present this idea, and hence this short "story" was the only thing I came out with.
Can anyone give me an idea for a plot in which Snape jinxes the DADA professors? Or even better, write such a story yourself, just don't forget to mention that you got inspired by me. Ok? Call it a challenge.
And please let me know of any mistakes I made or whatever you think of the whole thing. Pretty please review!
Thanks for reading!
© Besnaped.